


Trust

by engineer10349



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2018-06-10 10:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 147,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6953725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/engineer10349/pseuds/engineer10349
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cat and Kara get stuck in an elevator. Supercat - Cat/Kara. Also now featuring a solid amount of Astra/Alex and Lucy/Alura.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Cat couldn’t believe this. She was stuck in her elevator. Again. Only this time Kara was with her. Cat had never let anyone else use her private elevator, but she really had to leave and she figured it would just be simpler if they finished their conversation in the elevator. But now she was just trying to remain calm because she had an audience and she had worked very hard to make sure Kara never - well, almost never - saw her flustered.

Then she realized something. “You know, it’s such a pity neither one of us has super strength. Or can fly. Because then we could get out of here,” said Cat like she was just randomly musing, although her intention was somewhat clear. She had been very good about tip-toeing around the Supergirl issue since Kara had shut her down about it, but this was getting ridiculous. 

“What? I thought we settled this. I’m not Supergirl, Miss Grant,” said Kara with a surprised tone that was really starting to annoy Cat. How stupid did this girl think she was? Still, it was clear that Kara didn’t want her to know, and she was trying to respect that boundary, ridiculous as it may be.

“Okay, Not-Supergirl, how about this? I am going to turn around and count to ten. Out loud. Which might be useful for someone with super hearing. And if I just happen to be carried to safety by a certain super hero, well, what a coincidence that would be.” Cat turned away from Kara’s nervous face and stared at the wall. “One.” This was so absurd. She didn’t know why they were pretending at this point. “Two.” Cat realized that she had handled Kara’s first ‘coming out’ rather badly, but she had learned. “Three.” She had thought that Kara Danvers was a disguise, not another valid identity besides Supergirl. “Four.” But now she realized that Kara needed both and she certainly wasn’t going to try to fire her again. “Five.” 

“Miss Grant, I ...” Kara began.

Cat quickly cut her off with, “Six!” Kara still didn’t trust her. It was frustrating, to say the least. “Seven.” Sometimes she though that she really shouldn’t care so much about what Kara told her. “Eight.” She imagined that her other employees had secrets although she couldn’t care less about them. “Nine.” She then desperately tried to think about something else, because she had a feeling that she wouldn’t like where these thoughts would lead. “Ten!” she said and turned around to look at Kara looking at the ground sheepishly.

“Miss Grant, I keep telling you ...” started Kara, but Cat cut her off again. 

“Kara, I swear to God, if you do not get me out of this elevator right now I will fire you!” Kara was still not used to Cat using her real name. It felt so nice. Nice in a warm, heart pounding way. She both loved and hated that Cat did that to her. It was awfully distracting at work, but it was the best kind of distracting. But she worked very hard to try not to let Cat see that, so she plucked up the courage to look into Cat’s eyes and pretended to be unaffected by the way that Cat looked at her.

“Well you’d fire me for being Supergirl anyway, so that’s an odd threat,” said Kara in a surprisingly bitter tone. Kara hadn’t told Cat for a reason, but being outed and then almost fired by Cat had really shaken her confidence in Cat. So maybe she was a little bitter that Cat had let her down. She knew that people made mistakes, but that had been a really big mistake.

“Look, Kara, I handled it badly. Okay? I’m sorry. I hadn’t met a super hero in civilian mode before, I didn’t know the right thing to do. I have learned from my mistakes. I am not going to fire you for being Supergirl. You like it here. I personally think that is incredibly weird, but whatever makes you happy. So please, get me out of this elevator!” said Cat, trying to say the last part in the most authoritative way possible. 

“Miss Grant ...” started Kara. She just couldn’t believe Cat. When Cat had first confronted her about being Supergirl she had seemed fine, and then suddenly she had to be fired. Kara couldn’t take the chance. She couldn’t lose this job. She couldn’t lose seeing Cat every day.

“Oh for Christ’s sake,” said Cat in an exasperated tone as she just sat down, leaning back against the wall of the elevator, accepting that Kara was not going to use her powers.

“You saw me next to Supergirl!” finished Kara meekly. Kara knew that Cat wasn’t convinced. But she wasn’t sure how much of her attitude was a bluff to lure Kara into a false sense of security. Kara didn’t think that she could even be Supergirl without working here. Without Cat. So really, she was lying for the people of National City, she told herself.

“Yes, nice trick. I suppose you’ll never tell me how you did it. You never tell me anything,” said Cat, her voice softening without her intent. She hated that Kara made her do that sometimes. She had really thought that Kara was just a simple girl. ‘Just average’ as she had said in her interview. But she should have realized then that people who are just average pretend not to be, and it’s the people who tell you their average that you should watch. Soon enough she’d realized there was something off, but it wasn’t till two years later when she saw Supergirl on the TV screen that she finally realized what Kara was. Kara seemed so open, but she had hidden so much, and that irked Cat. Because she’d let down so many walls for Kara, mostly due to that damn Sunny Danvers personality making her feel safe, only to realize that Kara had just as many walls as she did. 

“I’ve told you more than I’ve told just about anyone else! I told you about my family!” said Kara, not wanting Cat to doubt what she meant to her. Well, she didn’t want Cat to know exactly how much she meant to her, but she wanted her to know that she cared.

“Yes, I suppose you did finally give me the real story. Your planet died. With all your people on it. I imagine that was very traumatizing,” said Cat, trying to be understanding, despite still being rather annoyed. She did appreciate the honesty, late as it may have been.

“Well, yeah, but a great family adopted me so ...” started Kara before she abruptly stopped and realized what she said. Cat’s stunned eyes had made her reevaluate her sentence. “I mean, wait, no. I mean, my parents died, but not my planet, because Earth is my planet! I am a 100% Earthling ...” rambled Kara, looking at the wall to the side so that Cat couldn’t distract her from her rehearsed story. Cat really wondered how Kara had managed on Earth. She supposed that people were just stupid. Kara didn’t even wear a mask and yet nobody realized that it was her. Cat knew though. She’d know Kara’s face anywhere. And Kara was so bad at pretending to be human it was honestly comical. Also, Supergirl’s interactions with her let her see her up close, and apart from the fact that it was rather hard to be very close to that face and not recognize it, the way that Supergirl so obviously cared for Cat didn’t really make sense unless they knew each other. Cat had huge issues with personal space, which Kara knew, and yet she had hugged Supergirl for as long as the girl would let her. Cat was honestly confused why Kara would think that she was buying this silly act.

“Kara! Can we just stop playing this game? Just get me out of here!” Cat interrupted. Kara looked into Cat’s eyes again. She seemed to be sincere, but Kara couldn’t forget the fear that she’d felt the last time Cat knew. Cat broke her gaze and just tipped her head back, clunking it lightly against the wall. She looked defeated. And frustrated. “Okay, how about this then?” asked Cat suddenly, standing up and moving very, very close to Kara. “I will slam my head against the wall of this elevator until I am unconscious. And then Supergirl can save me! Who is Supergirl? I don’t know, I won’t even see her. In fact, who knows if it was Supergirl who even saved me? Maybe it was Wonder Woman! Who knows? I want to go home to my son Kara!” said Cat, her voice sounding increasingly desperate as she stood just inches from Kara. 

“Don’t you dare!” said Kara, her voice edging on her Supergirl voice, which she very quickly dropped back to her Kara voice. “Don’t joke about hurting yourself. Don’t you dare,” she said softly, her eyes letting through more love than she ever really wanted Cat to see. Kara had always defended her, both physically and otherwise, and Cat had always just assumed that it was because she was a Superhero and that’s what she did. But she could read people rather well, especially Kara, and she could see the genuine concern in her eyes that wasn’t borne from obligation. Cat knew she liked Kara. She had tried to deny it to herself, but as the months went by it became increasingly obvious. But for the first time Cat seriously considered that her feelings weren’t one-sided. Cat looked at Kara, with her pupils somewhat bigger than usual, staring at her like she couldn’t stand to see her hurt, and Cat decided to try a different strategy. 

“You don’t want me to hurt? I miss my son. That hurts me. Take me home, Kara,” said Cat, softer than she thought that she had ever spoken to Kara, or anyone actually. And clearly that was the right way to go, because all of a sudden Kara was lifting her and Cat quickly put her arms around Kara’s neck, even though Kara’s hold on her was more than sufficient. They started floating, very slowly, and Kara easily opened the latch at the top of the elevator and flew them upwards. 

Once they got outside of the walls of Cat Co. Kara had to speed up to avoid being seen. Cat usually didn’t love flying, but now she didn’t want it to end. Because Kara was holding her and she had no idea how nice that would feel. And now she did. She wondered if it was better or worse this way. She had spent so long pushing Kara away, desperately trying to spare herself the pain of getting attached to a girl who’d never want her. But Kara had never really gone away, she had just kept coming back for more, and Cat had gotten attached anyway. And now she had a sliver of hope, that maybe Kara did want her, and she knew that if it turned out that she didn’t, Cat would be crushed. 

“We’re here,” said Kara cheerily, back to her Sunny Danvers persona she wore, breaking Cat out of her current thoughts. It’s not like Cat didn’t understand putting on a mask for the outside world, because she did exactly the same thing, except she pretended to be colder whereas Kara repressed anything vaguely dark inside. 

“Thank you,” said Cat, still in Kara’s arms. Kara seemed to realize that it was time to let Cat go now as she carefully placed Cat on the ground of her balcony. They were still close, and Cat’s arms had never loosened their grip around Kara’s neck. Kara didn’t seem to mind, she wasn’t backing away, she was just looking at Cat with a longing Cat hoped that she wasn’t imagining. 

“Hey mum!” said a young male voice that quickly broke the two apart. Carter came running towards his mum to give her a strong hug. “I didn’t even hear you come home. Hey Kara! Are you here to play Settlers of Catan again?” asked Carter enthusiastically. Cat couldn’t quite believe how much Carter had taken to Kara. And Kara seemed to have taken to Carter as well, which was equally impressive. Cat had always told herself that she shouldn’t date because her son should have stability, but she was pretty sure that Kara would be great for Carter. In a way, it made it worse, because it would all be so perfect, but only if it actually happened. Otherwise it was just painful longing and sadness. 

“Oh, buddy I think Kara has other things to do,” said Cat softly. She was sure that Kara would stay if she asked, but she didn’t want to push Kara into anything.

“No! Not at all. All free,” said Kara, looking at Cat for permission to stay. Of course, Cat would let Kara do just about anything. Cat just smiled at her warmly and then turned back to her beaming son. 

“Okay then. Get the game out Carter, I have the title of ‘champion’ to maintain,” said Cat proudly. 

They played for a little over forty minutes. Cat was still the reigning champion, much to Carter’s disappointment. Kara on the other hand was rather glad Cat won, she liked to see her happy, and Cat loved to win. It was getting late and Carter was hungry, so Cat decided to start making dinner. Kara was just about to leave them alone when Cat muttered under her breath, “Stay.”

So Kara stayed. She played video games with Carter while Cat cooked, and Cat vaguely wondered if Carter had any homework he should be doing instead, but she didn’t really have the heart to break up the fun. Cat had noticed Kara’s affinity for food at the office and assumed her alien DNA made her need more food, so she made sure to triple her usual amount of everything. 

Soon enough the food was ready and Kara practically ran from the living room to the kitchen. Cat just smiled as she handed Kara a nice big bowl of pasta. She was about to tell her to be careful because it was hot, but then she realized that Kara could take hot temperatures. Kara started eating immediately, slowly making her way to the table, and Cat wondered if she should have made more as she gave another bowl to Carter and watched him wolf it down with the same enthusiasm. 

They didn’t talk much. Cat would ask Carter a few questions about his day and mostly got one word answers in response. Cat pretended not to notice that Kara and Carter appeared to be having a competition as to who could eat the fastest. Kara won, of course, although it wasn’t really a fair contest. Carter was only a few bites behind though, and soon went back to playing video games as Kara helped Cat clean up. “You really don’t have to do that,” said Cat as Kara started washing the plates in the sink.

“Oh, I want to. Besides, you made dinner. And it was so good, Cat ... I mean, Miss ...” Kara started. She had never slipped before, but she had always been dreading that this might happen. Supergirl could call her Cat. But she wasn’t Supergirl now, although it almost felt like she was. Being around Cat and Carter like this, it felt more like she was the hero than the worthless assistant. Even if she wasn’t actually an assistant anymore, she reminded herself.

“You can call me Cat outside the office.” Cat would let Kara call her whatever she wanted really, but she wasn’t going to say that. 

“Oh, okay ... Cat.” Cat definitely preferred that name. They felt more equal. Or, like they were friends, maybe.

“I’m glad you liked it. I didn’t know if you had special dietary requirements.” Cat had always wanted to ask Kara a million questions about her home planet. What was the food like? What were the people like? But of course Kara hadn’t volunteered any of that information.

“Oh, not really. I just eat a lot more than most people.” Kara realized that this was the first time that they had really acknowledged that Cat knew that she was Supergirl. It felt good. Cat didn’t seem like she was going to fire her this time. Which meant that she got to keep seeing Cat, and now that Cat knew, she could tell her more, which she’d always wanted to do.

“Good to know,” said Cat nonchalantly. Cat was glad that Kara had finally stopped lying to her. She had thought that Kara might have tried to backtrack this all somehow, by telling her that she had hallucinated everything or something, but it seemed like Kara was finally done hiding from her. 

“How did you know?” asked Kara. Nobody else had figured it out and she had always wondered from the moment Cat suddenly confronted her about it how she did it.

“About what?” Cat knew exactly what she was talking about, but she really wanted to hear the words come out of Kara’s mouth.

“That I’m Supergirl,” Kara said quietly, not wanting Carter to hear.

“Oh, that,” said Cat, feigning surprise, not particularly convincingly. “Well, you do look identical, and you don’t really do much to cover yourself, so it is a little obvious from the get-go.” Cat had been rather taken aback the first time she met Lois’s new boyfriend at a party once. She didn’t know why Superman would choose to work in an industry surrounded by reporters, but she had quickly realized that people were absolutely oblivious to anything not pointed out to them, even people whose jobs it is to uncover the truth. She still thought it was ridiculous not to wear a mask though. Some people were bound to figure it out. She wondered if she could talk Kara into something with Cat Co. branding.

“Nobody else seems to notice.” Cat had always noticed Kara. She had thought that she was interesting from the moment she met her. She certainly never imagined just how interested she would be though. 

“They’re not paying attention.” Cat wondered if she was giving away just how much attention she payed to Kara. “Apart from your sudden burst of disappearances, which coincided with Supergirl saves, I suppose the most obvious thing you did was with Carter.” Cat could have mentioned the time that Leslie came after her and Supergirl came to save her, but she decided to go for the Carter story. Mostly because she still really wasn’t ready to bring up the fact that she basically created a super villain because she refused to have Kara insulted. Well, Supergirl more than Kara really. Although she didn’t really do it to protect Supergirl; she did it for Kara.

“What do you mean?” asked Kara, who really didn’t think that she had been giving anything away by happening to save Carter. She saved people all the time.

“You saved him. You saved him when you should have saved thousands of other people somewhere else. Clearly there was a personal connection. And very few people talk to my son. And there was really only one who would care enough to choose him over thousands of other people.” Cat was rather astounded that she had to spell this out for Kara, but Kara astounded her frequently, so she supposed she should really be used to it by now.

“I didn’t choose him! The DEO was getting to the others...” Kara started, vaguely offended, before Cat cut her off.

“Kara, don’t kid yourself. You’re a hero, but you’re not perfect. And that day, you made a choice. You chose him. You chose me, really, because you barely knew him. I suppose you knew that I would have been a nightmare to work for if I lost him,” added Cat quickly, not wanting to get too emotional. When she had realized what Kara had done that day, she hadn’t really known what to make of it. A small part of her thought that maybe Kara did it for her, but she hadn’t been able to see why Kara would do that. 

“You know that’s not why I did it. You have to. You notice everything about me. You have to know,” said Kara, somewhat desperately. Cat thought for a moment. Was Kara admitting feelings? For her? “I don’t expect anything. I just ... I just want to know one thing, okay? You told Lucy she was pretty from the moment you met her. You barely know James and yet you tell him super personal stories about you and about what it means to be a journalist. You got Siobhan’s name right the first time. Yet for two years you got my name wrong. Why?” asked Kara, with a sadness Cat didn’t think she’d ever heard from Kara. It broke her heart. Also, she couldn’t quite believe that after hiring a girl for the rather obvious purpose of making Kara jealous, all that Kara had taken away was that Cat got her name right.

“I didn’t ...” Cat started but stopped. She had meant for Kara to feel that way, she supposed. That’s why she did it. To push her away. To make her go away, although she never did. To make her feelings go away, although they never did. She had pretended that Kara meant nothing to her for two years and she wasn’t sure that she wanted to keep pretending. Maybe it was better to tell her the truth. Sure, she might reject Cat, but at least she’d know that Cat never thought that she was worthless. “Because I knew from the moment I hired you that I could fall in love with you. And I didn’t want to. Because rejection hurts. So I thought if I was mean to you that you’d be mean back, and then I wouldn’t like you anymore. But you were never mean. You were just ... nice ... all the time. You saved me. You saved my son. I mean, how could I not fall in love with you?” asked Cat, her usual assertive facade having faded, now staring at the ground and hoping that Kara wasn’t going to make this too hard on her. Although there was a small part of her that she kept trying to push down that wondered if maybe Kara would tell her that she loved her too. Kara was smiling, so she had to work extra hard to keep her hopes from surfacing. She didn’t know if she could take it if they did and it turned out that she was wrong.

“What exactly made you think I’d reject you?” asked Kara, who wanted to say a million things right now, but she had to pick a sentence in her brain to verbalize, and the curiosity over why the Queen of All Media would be insecure won. 

“What?” asked Cat, who was desperately trying not to get her hopes up, trying to convince herself that she must be misunderstanding Kara, because Kara would never want her back. She wanted this so badly, but she was so sick of getting hurt, and she kept telling herself to just calm down until Kara actually said that she liked her that way.

“I mean, did the best journalist I know really think that I saved Carter over thousands of other people because, what, we’re hash tag friendship goals?” Cat wasn’t entirely sure why Kara was using hash tags in speech but she realized that she was going to have to update her vocabulary if she was really going to date a 24 year old. God, Lois Lane was going to write about this, wasn’t she? “When I was on red Kryptonite, I was ready to kill my sister, who did nothing but love and protect me, but I could only make you scared for a few seconds. And to be honest, it was mostly because I wanted to hold you in my arms.” Cat was starting to get her hopes up at that, despite herself, because she was trying not to be blinded by her own feelings, but Kara really seemed to be saying what she had always hoped that she would. “But even red Kryptonite me couldn’t take the fear in your eyes. I thought that was what I wanted, and when I realized it wasn’t, I ran. Well, flew.” Cat was going to have to ask Kara for more detail about that event at some point if they were going to pursue this, but today was not that day. “Why would I pick you to be the Lois Lane to my Superman and get all my exclusive interviews if I didn’t like you?” asked Kara somewhat incredulously, because she had been 100% sure that Cat had to know how she felt, at least a little, and just didn’t feel the same way.

“Well, there was the time you went out with my son,” said Cat, because honestly there had been times where Cat had thought about all the things that Kara mentioned. But then she’d see her being flustered over a boy, and she kicked herself for ever thinking that this could happen.

“I wanted to be closer to you. Admittedly, that might have not been the best way to go. Also, I kind of wanted you to stop me? But you didn’t. You practically planned our dates!” Kara said, because she was still annoyed at herself for ever going near Adam. She had never really liked him, and she dumped him pretty quickly, but it really messed up her relationship with Cat for a bit, which sucked.

“Well, I wanted you to be happy! I thought that’s what you wanted,” said Cat, who had been so scared by her jealousy when Kara had been with Adam that after they broke up, even if it was like a day later, she had felt the need to distance herself from Kara even more. She had played that conversation in her head for days thinking about how she’d said all the wrong things. The ‘keep it professional’ thing was bad enough, given that they really weren’t anything else and she had accidentally implied that they were, but then ‘this way nobody gets hurt’? She had basically admitted that she was hurt by Kara, and although Kara seemed to have assumed she was hurt on behalf of the son she just found again, most people would be able to realize that she was just hurt that Kara wasn’t with her. Honestly, Adam got over it pretty fast anyway; it’s not like they even really knew each other.

“Well, it wasn’t. Ever. For the record. I haven’t really dated anyone since I met you. It didn’t feel right.” Cat felt a surge of possessiveness flow through her with that. She liked the idea of Kara being hers, probably more than she would ever admit. 

“Kara ...” Cat started slowly, because she was pretty surprised that Kara just admitted that she really liked her, enough to not want to be with anyone else for years, which was pretty strong. 

“I’m sorry. That was too much, wasn’t it? It’s just ... I have spent two years thinking that you knew how I felt and that’s why you pushed me away. Because it freaked you out. And now you’re telling me that you want me too, right? Because that is the overwhelming impression I’ve been getting in this conversation. But if I’ve misunderstood, I can just g-” Kara didn’t get to finish the syllable because Cat was kissing her, and Rao it was better than she had imagined it. And she had imagined it a lot. Cat was a little shorter than she was but she didn’t let that stop her from controlling the kiss. Cat pulled Kara into her and crashed their mouths together, her hand tangled in Kara’s hair as Kara gently held Cat by her waist to steady herself.

“We should think about this,” said Cat after she finally broke away from the kiss, still just inches from Kara and with Kara holding her a little tighter than before. Kara was young and impulsive, and she didn’t understand how this world worked. How cruel people could be. 

“Think about what?” asked Kara, confused. Nothing about the way Cat kissed her made her think that Cat wanted to think about anything.

“If you dated me, we would be all over the papers. I’m the CEO, you were my assistant. It would look so bad for you. They would say that you slept your way to a promotion. Every single job you applied for would have a panel of people with preconceptions about you, almost none of which would be positive. People would say horrible things about you. People are always willing to criticize women for having sex. Or not having sex, really, but the point is that they would call you all kind of offensive names that they never would if you were a man. Besides, if paparazzi are following us, how are you supposed to change into Supergirl? You would be putting your cover at risk.” Kara smiled. So Cat did want to date her. 

“I don’t think the media will notice. We can hold hands. We can kiss. We can move in together. Rao, we can get married. They’ll still say we’re BFFs. Heteronormativity has it’s advantages.” Cat smiled at that. She had been pleasantly surprised to discover that despite the spotlight on her, nobody ever worked out when she was dating a woman. They would, however, print things about some man she brushed past accidentally and their secret torrid love affair. 

“Heteronormativity only goes so far. The media can make a lot of money out of outing someone. And my company is public. It could be a way for people to try to remove me as CEO. Say I’m ‘a bad example for children’ or whatever and replace me with some straight white cis man who cheats on his wife every day,” added Cat with a hint of bitterness. She had kept her sexuality private for a reason, but she hated that love could be seen as something so bad while child molesters were still getting star billing in movies.

“Oh, I ... yeah, okay. I don’t want to ruin your career or anything. We can just pretend this never happened,” said Kara, putting her arms back at her sides and turning around to leave before the tears started falling. She got so excited that Cat wanted her; she didn’t think that maybe Cat didn’t want to want her. She was devastated, of course, but she would respect Cat’s wishes and never bring it up again.

“Kara, wait!” said Cat abruptly, pulling Kara back to her by her arm. She knew that since Kara was Kryptonian, she couldn’t actually force her to stay anywhere she didn’t want to be, so Kara was letting her pull her. “I’m not saying that I’m not willing to do this. Because I am. Look, I’m rich. The board could oust me tomorrow and I’d be fine. I could support myself and Carter ... and you, if you’d want. I just ... I want you to understand the risks here. Because it’s one thing for me to do this. I’ve spent a good chunk of my life working. I’ve seen all the things that I’ve wanted to, and then some. But you haven’t. And I don’t want you to miss out on anything.” Kara was so relieved. Cat was willing to do this. That was all she needed to hear.

“The only thing I don’t want to miss out on is you.” Kara kissed Cat this time to emphasize her point, and Cat let her. Kara’s hand gently cupped her cheek and she slowly brought her lips down to Cat’s. Cat had never been treated with this much tenderness, but she liked it a lot more than she thought she would’ve. After a few seconds she pulled back though, and Kara instantly let her go.

“Okay, then, Kara, would you like to go out with me tomorrow night? Cat asked, because she was done fighting this, she was done being scared, and if Kara was willing to do this she wouldn’t tell her no. She couldn’t, really.

“Yes, Cat. I would love to,” said Kara, her heart racing more than she ever had in any of her Supergirl fights, because she couldn’t believe that this was happening. 

“Good, now can you finally give me your phone number? I’ve been trying to get it forever,” said Cat in a somewhat irritated tone, although they both knew she didn’t really mean it.

“Yeah, I noticed. I was always worried you’d call Supergirl and then Kara would answer the phone so you’d know it was me,” Kara admitted, because contrary to popular belief she was not completely inept at hiding her secret identity. 

“I always knew it was you, darling. Now since you’re the millennial in the relationship, please put your number in my phone,” said Cat, taking out her phone and putting it in Kara’s hands. Kara was going to mention that she was not actually a millennial when she looked at Cat’s phone more closely. Kara stared at it with a somewhat offended expression.

“Okay can our first date be at a phone shop? Because this is ancient,” Kara joked as she put her number in Cat’s phone. She begrudgingly took a photo of herself, only because it wouldn’t let her save without a picture for the number, with the phone’s awful camera that made her look terrible. 

“Did you just call me ancient?” asked Cat in mock horror.

“No,” said Kara calmly, snapping a picture with her own phone for Cat’s number which of course looked flawless. “But I have concerns about the quality of your Snap chats,” added Kara as she handed Cat’s phone back to her.

“Snap what?” asked Cat, trying to recall all the horror stories about people using various applications that she had published recently.

“Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.” Cat wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, but she trusted Kara. “Okay, well, I should go,” said Kara reluctantly.

“Right. I’ll pick you up at 7?” asked Cat via inflection, because she was positive that Kara would go anywhere with her at anytime, even before this happened.

“Yeah, okay,” said Kara, trying to come off casually, although her enthusiasm shone through.

“Okay,” said Cat, very successfully coming off as nonchalant, although inside she was incredibly excited. Kara walked out of Cat’s apartment then, rather slowly, like she didn’t want to leave. Cat didn’t really want her to, but she really wanted to take Kara out before they did anything else, so she let her go.

The next day Cat seemed exactly the same. She talked to Kara as if nothing had changed. If Kara didn’t know better, she would’ve thought that she’d imagined the whole thing. Cat found it amusing that someone with an entire secret identity was absolutely the worst at hiding things. Kara spent most of their conversations unabashedly staring adoringly at Cat, who was trying very hard to pretend to be unaffected. 

Cat left a lot earlier than usual. When someone asked why, she just responded with, ‘I have a very important date.’ Kara overhead. Well, she was using her super hearing, but, semantics. She couldn’t help but smile that Cat thought she was important. Kara left soon after, mostly because she couldn’t get anything done. All that she was thinking about was tonight.

Cat texted Kara at 6:59. I’m outside. Cat didn’t really want to get outside of the car in this neighborhood. She was almost certain she had heard a gunshot in the two minutes she’d been here. She was really starting to regret not paying Kara more. 

Kara rushed out of her apartment and then tried to calmly walk towards the limousine she assumed must be Cat’s. The driver got out and opened the door for her. And there was Cat, sipping her martini, looking fabulous as always. It took Kara a few seconds to realize that she had to stop staring and move, and then she quickly got into the car beside Cat. “Hey you,” she said, somewhat awkwardly.

“Hi Kara,” said Cat calmly. Part of her wondered if Kara had changed her mind about her. But the way that Kara looked at her told her that she was still very much interested. “Do you want a drink?” she asked, because the girl looked like she needed to relax a bit.

“Oh, alcohol doesn’t work on me. I like soft drink better anyway.” Sometimes Cat wondered if Kara deliberately did things that seemed less adult. She seemed so young sometimes. Cat was used to girls working for her who were desperate to seem more adult, but Kara did nothing but hide her serious side. And her clothing was always rather conservative, which certainly distinguished her from most young women Cat met. Not that Cat minded. Well, she wouldn’t hate to see more of Kara, but she was sure that she’d end up seeing more of her soon enough if Kara’s lustful gaze was anything to go by.

“Okay. I didn’t know what you’d like so I kind of got everything.” Cat had three eskis full of drinks. One was all alcoholic, but the other two were random drinks she’d seen people Kara’s age drink. She had begun to realize that she really didn’t know that much about Kara. That really would have to change.

“Oh, I don’t know if I should have things with sugar right now. I’m already so nervous. I mean, not in a bad way. I like the way you make me nervous, but with sugar it might ...” Kara was cut off by Cat’s mouth on hers. Cat dealt with her nerves by facing her fears; she wondered if Kara was the same. She felt Kara quickly relax against her, so she decided it was the right move. Cat started gently but the second Kara kissed her back she couldn’t help but get more passionate; Kara seemed to be the same, threading her hands through Cat’s hair and pulling her closer almost desperately. 

It was an odd energy between them now. They had known each other for so long, but not like this. Kara liked that Cat seemed to be taking charge of their relationship. She could follow Cat’s lead easily. Except then Cat stopped kissing her, and honestly, she was rethinking her suitability for leadership as she put her hands back at her sides. “We really should talk,” said Cat by way of an explanation, sighing as she grabbed her martini again just to do something with her hands. “But I wanted you to relax a little.”

“Okay. Talk. I can talk. I’m pretty good at it, actually,” said Kara, trying to be funny but getting the feeling she wasn’t really succeeding. She’d never be like Cat with her cutting remarks and fierce wit. Cat seemed to like her the way she was though, so she supposed it didn’t really matter.

“Where do you see yourself in five years?” asked Cat seriously.

“I didn’t realize that this was going to go like a job interview,” said Kara, a little taken aback, having no idea how to answer that question. 

“It’s not like that, Kara. I just want to know what you want for your future. Because, you know, if you want a future with someone you need to want the same future,” explained Cat softly, because she got the impression that Kara hadn’t actually had a serious relationship before and hence hadn’t had any of these conversations before.

“Okay. I see myself with you. Living in your ridiculously expensive penthouse, because I know you’d never move in to my neighborhood. And Carter will be in high school, so he’ll probably want to hang out with his friends instead of his family, but I think every so often we could convince him to play a few games of Settlers of Catan. I’ll still be Supergirl, although maybe at that point you’ll be willing to re-brand me ‘Superwoman’. I’ll probably still work at Cat Co. Is that enough for you?” asked Kara genuinely, not really sure what Cat Grant Queen of All Media expected from her five year plan. Cat took a few seconds to take in what Kara had said.

“And in this future, who knows that we’re dating?” asked Cat, slowly processing the fact that Kara was definitely looking for serious commitment. She had thought that she was, but it was very reassuring to hear.

“Well, my family and friends ... your family and friends. Anyone else you want to tell, I guess.” Kara wasn’t really sure what the right answer to that was. She’d tell whoever Cat wanted. She’d scream it from the rooftops. She didn’t really care so long as she got Cat.

“I see. And I suppose that I would tell them that I’m dating Kara Danvers, not Supergirl?” mused Cat. In a lot of ways it would be so much easier to date Supergirl. They were both powerful people, so nobody would think that it was problematic. It would probably be good for both of their images, really, and it would mean that they could attend events together and people would care about both of them.

“Yes, that’s the best way to keep you out of danger.” But of course Cat knew that that would make her a target for Supergirl’s enemies, and Kara would never want that. No, Kara would rather destroy her career and listen to endless insults than put Cat in danger. 

“And if someone puts the pieces together because we’re together? If the military comes knocking on the door one day to dissect you because someone realized that The Queen of All Media has a girlfriend who looks exactly like Supergirl, would it be worth it to you?” Cat asked, trying to be calm but not being able to get the emotion out of her voice. She didn’t want to put Kara in danger either, and if this job had taught her anything, it was that the American government was capable of some very bad things in order to ‘protect it’s citizens’. Of course, that had a way of targeting anybody who was foreign, or ‘looked foreign’. And Supergirl really fit both of those categories. 

“Yes,” said Kara simply. She wasn’t going to let fear stand in the way of being with who she loved. She’d be miserable if she lived like that anyway, so she may as well take the chance that someday someone would hurt her for that. 

“Why?” Kara looked at her, confused. “Why would I be worth that to you?” Kara softened. “I have been nothing but mean to you.” Cat had been struggling with the way that she had treated Kara since she found out that Kara liked her back. She had hurt Kara for nothing, and she didn’t think that she would ever forgive herself for that.

“Well, sometimes. But I understand that now. We just cope in different ways. You need to push the things that could hurt you away. I think you’re a lot more sensitive than you let people know. I lost a planet full of people. A language, a culture, a home. But I also gained those things here. That was good enough for me. But I don’t think that it would have been for you. And I don’t think that you could have handled me rejecting you, so you rejected yourself for me, and although I think that’s a little dumb ...”

“I thought that you would reject me with absolute certainty. In my mind, you already had,” Cat explained.

“Well, that’s still dumb, but I get it. But now you know that you don’t need to do that,” continued Kara, who suddenly decided to entwine their hands together to show Cat that she really didn’t need to be afraid of rejection anymore. Kara didn’t really apply any pressure, which Cat was sure was out of fear of hurting her, so Cat held her hand tightly, knowing that she couldn’t hurt Kara.

“Okay, fine, you understand, you forgive me. But why risk everything for me? You could have anyone. Really, anyone. Why not pick someone else, someone who doesn’t have a high media profile, maybe?” asked Cat, because she didn’t want to get attached to this girl without making sure that Kara had thought through everything and wouldn’t just leave one day. Kara was right. She was sensitive. She didn’t know if losing an entire planet would break her, but she knew if she got attached to Kara only to lose her, it definitely would.

“I love you,” said Kara quietly, not really sure she wanted to say it, but finding herself unable to lie to Cat now. She didn’t want to scare Cat off, but she decided that she hadn’t by the still steady grip of Cat’s hand.

“You could love someone else,” said Cat gently, not wanting to make it seem like a rejection. 

“I don’t know about that anymore. I thought that when I met you. It was a dumb crush. You were pretty, but you were mean, so I thought I’d get over it pretty fast. But then I’d hear you defend me to other people. Tell them how exceptional I was. And I didn’t really understand it, but it was nice. Why did you do that, by the way?” asked Kara, because a lot of Cat’s behave had never made sense to her. 

“Oh, I didn’t mean to. People would talk about you in a mean way and I’d just get angry. It might sound silly but I thought it was different when I did it. I didn’t mean it. They did. And I just couldn’t let that go,” said Cat, hints of anger flowing through her voice just thinking of the mean things people had said about Kara, like when the red Kryptonite had affected her. Kara had thrown her off a balcony and she was ready to forgive and forget, but all National City had seemed to want to do was give into fear of the foreigner. And fear so quickly turned to insults and hatred. Even if people seemed to have forgiven her for what she did when she wasn’t herself, Cat knew that when things went bad people often wanted someone to blame, and people tended to blame whole groups of people who didn’t have the power to stand up for themselves. Kara might be a Superhero, but there were a very small number of aliens on Earth and the DEO’s existence proved that humans had the capability and the desire to go after aliens. 

“Huh. So anyway, you clearly ... well, I thought that you clearly weren’t interested, so I told myself that I needed to find someone else. So I went to bars and I talked to people. And I just ... didn’t care? I thought about what it would be like if you were sitting there. They talked about their jobs and I just couldn’t find myself able to care about anything, from the astrophysicists to the teachers. So, I stopped doing that. I mostly just spent my free time at Cat Co. And you’d talk to me sometimes. You said such interesting things - about journalism, about life. You made me think. Everyone else talks to me about gossip and candy, but never you. And I don’t know when it happened, but I fell for you. I don’t know if I could fall for someone else. Even when I thought that it was completely one-sided, I just assumed that I’d be stuck in love with you forever,” said Kara, trying to convey to Cat that she really couldn’t love anyone else, that Cat was it for her, and how desperately she was hoping that Cat felt the same.

“I love you too, you know,” said Cat so quietly that Kara didn’t know if she would’ve heard it without Kryptonian hearing. Cat decided that the distance between them was too much again and she quickly resumed kissing Kara. Kara was more than willing, and without really thinking just picked Cat up and gently placed Cat in her lap so that Cat was straddling her. Cat certainly didn’t mind the new position, or that Kara’s hands were on her upper leg, but after a few minutes she stopped. Kara’s mouth kept searching for hers, so she put her thumb gently against Kara’s lips for a couple of seconds. Kara’s eyes opened suddenly with a panicked look, worried she’d done something wrong. “We really should go to dinner at least once first,” explained Cat as Kara relaxed somewhat.

“Oh, I’m all for dinner. I’m so hungry baby,” said Kara. Cat looked at her with a slightly stunned expression and Kara processed what she said. “Oh, Rao, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. It just came out. Although, are we dating now? Because right now it kind of feels like you’re maybe my girlfriend. Can I call you ‘baby’?” asked Kara, because she wasn’t really sure how this was supposed to go; she’d never actually dated anyone before. Also, they’d known each other for two years and they’d just confessed heir love for each other, so it was hard to know if something was too fast or not.

“Yes,” said Cat, in reference to both questions, trying to keep her voice free of the excitement that was inside of her. She didn’t know how much she had wanted to hear Kara say these things until she heard them just then. God, she couldn’t believe how much of an idiot she had been for hiding her feelings for two years. “Although at the office it’s still ‘Miss Grant’,” she added quickly. She didn’t need her employees to think that she was going soft. And although it was ridiculous for colleagues to judge somebody by the way that they were with their significant other, she was sure that they would. 

“Okay baby.” Cat liked the way Kara said that word. She’d never heard it spoken with that much tenderness. She didn’t know why she was surprised though. Kara was always like that. She hadn’t known a lot of tender people, she supposed, and even her own parents had barely shown her any affection. 

The driver let them know that they had arrived at their destination, which was good, because Cat knew Kara wanted to eat but she was this close to not being able to take her hands off her. Cat quickly got out of the car and Kara followed. They were at a nice restaurant. Very nice. Kara was sure that Cat was paying, because Cat had to know that she couldn’t afford the water here. 

They were seated at Cat’s ‘usual table’, Kara discovered, and Kara wondered for the first time if this was really going to work. Cat liked fancy things, but Kara wasn’t really into that. Cat must be used to dating people who were like her, and Kara wondered if she would be up to Cat’s standard. She didn’t even understand 90% of this menu. Which, as it turned out, didn’t matter because Cat just ordered for them both and Kara was mostly just relieved that she didn’t have to try to pronounce the names of anything. 

It was a little hard to make conversation. They already knew what each other did that day, and every day, really. They couldn’t talk about Kara being Supergirl in public, and Cat was absolutely not saying anything personal in public. Partly because she knew paparazzi could be anywhere, partly because she was just that guarded. So they mostly talked about the upcoming election and what Cat was planning to do in order to stop Donald Trump from being the next president. Kara joked that if all else failed, Supergirl might just kidnap him. Of course, they both knew that she wouldn’t. Interfering with a democratically elected leader wasn’t something Superheroes were supposed to do - even if they were going to inflict more damage on the world than all of the villains Kara had stopped combined. Kara had essentially signed up to defend America, but it had never really occurred to her what she’d do if those people needed to be stopped instead of protected. She was still hoping that she wouldn’t have to find out.

Their food came. Kara wasn’t even entirely sure what was on her plate, but she tried to pull out the confidence she projected when she wore the Supergirl suit and cut off a piece and put it in her mouth. It was good, Kara thought happily. She quickly ate it all though, and realized that she was still hungry. She didn’t want to say anything though. Cat took a little longer to finish her meal, but soon enough they were back in the limo, making out, Cat’s tongue becoming very acquainted with Kara’s mouth. 

Only a few minutes later the car stopped. Kara was confused; they couldn’t possibly be at either of their apartments. Was Cat tossing her onto the street? “Welcome to McDonalds; what would you like today?” came the sixteen year old voice that answered her question. 

“More food! How did you know?” asked Kara excitedly.

“Darling, you really should know by now that I notice quite a lot about you. Although for the record, I really wish you’d just tell me,” Cat added quickly, still vaguely annoyed that despite their new relationship status Kara was still keeping things from her.

Kara finally got to appreciate all the space in the back of a limousine as she filled it with several bags of hamburgers and fries. She moaned at the first bite of her first hamburger as Cat rolled her eyes a little. She should have guessed that Kara would have liked this food better. She just didn’t want Kara to miss out on anything. She wanted her to have the best. But if McDonalds was Kara’s idea of the best, then Cat was more than happy to oblige her. Besides, it was a lot cheaper anyway. 

Kara happily shoved the food into her mouth while Cat drank some more. She wasn’t sure what to do with Kara. She was used to dating people who were a lot more predictable. They liked expensive places and expensive things. It was easy. But Kara didn’t seem to like either very much. Cat wanted to give Kara the world, but she didn’t know what she wanted, and God knows Kara never told her anything. Not the things that really mattered, anyway. Cat had noticed Kara staring longingly at her food and had instantly realized she had gravely underestimated her alien’s appetite. She had told her driver in the few seconds before Kara caught up with her to stop at the first fast food place that he thought a 24 year old would like and order half the menu. She had clearly made the right call.

Kara was done eating pretty quickly. “Are you full now?” Cat asked. Kara nodded, smiling. “Would you tell me if you weren’t?” asked Cat, almost like she was joking, but she wasn’t really.

“Yes baby, I would,” said Kara seriously, because she had picked up that Cat didn’t appreciate having secrets kept from her.

“But you weren’t going to before, were you?” Cat asked softly, because she didn’t want an argument, she wanted Kara to trust her. Also, she was pretty sure she was going to melt a little every time Kara said ‘baby’.

“No baby, I wasn’t,” admitted Kara, and Cat was definitely right about the melting.

“And that would be because...?” asked Cat gently, because they needed to talk about this.

“I don’t know. You went to all that effort. And it was super expensive. I didn’t want to seem ungrateful ...” Kara began. Cat understood what the issue was now, so she cut her off.

“Kara listen to me right now. I want you to tell me things. Always. Even if you think I won’t like what you have to say, I want you to be honest with me. Take it from somebody whose marriage fell apart - communication is important. You might think you’re just letting small things go, but at some point you’ll realize that you’ve bottled up quite a bit of resentment. And we’ve already had the ‘anger behind the anger’ talk, so you know where that leads,” said Cat, definitely not wanting her and Kara’s relationship to be like her others. 

“I ... I don’t know. You want honesty? People say I’m a terrible liar but I’m not really. I lie about who I am every day. I’ve hidden pain very few people can understand since I was twelve. I hate it though. It’s exhausting. As Kara Danvers I repress my childhood, my culture, my language and my powers. As Supergirl I have to repress all the bad things because like you once told me, I don’t get to be a person who makes mistakes, I have to be a symbol of hope. I try to be honest where I can. I don’t want to lie, but if I told people I was an alien, I don’t think it would go very well. I’m so used to hiding though. It’s hard to turn off,” Kara explained. She was really trying to be honest with Cat, she could see that this really mattered to her, but she didn’t want to make promises that she couldn’t keep. 

“Okay, well, maybe you don’t need to turn it off with me right now. Maybe you could take the level down a notch? Just tell me something. Something that you’ve hidden. And maybe when you see that I don’t take it as badly as you clearly think I will, it’ll be a little easier to tell me things in the future. And one day, maybe sooner than you think, you won’t even have to think about it; you’ll just trust me,” said Cat, wondering how much her continued insults over the years had affected Kara. She knew trust was a lot to ask for, especially with something this new, but they had to start somewhere. Honestly, she knew what it was like to hide herself from people and repress things, and she didn’t want Kara to make the same mistakes. People need an outlet. Everybody pretends to a degree around people, but it was important to be yourself at some point.

“Okay. Well ... I looked through your computer once.” Cat tried very hard to make it seem like she was not reacting. This was not quite what she was expecting. “I didn’t mean to see anything! I needed a file. I’d spilled coffee all over it and I wanted to reprint it. So I tried to find it on your computer. But, totally by accident, I found a picture ... of you and Lois.” Cat was somewhat calmer about Kara going through her computer now, although she definitely needed Witt to give her computer a security update.

“We met in college. We dated. She left me when she graduated. I don’t hold it against her, we were going to different cities anyway,” said Cat calmly, not entirely sure why Kara seemed to be jealous of a woman she barely saw and hadn’t dated in decades.

“You call her a lot of names for somebody who doesn’t care,” said Kara disbelievingly. Cat was used to being the one who saw through people, especially Kara, and she was a little surprised that Kara could see through her. She didn’t know if that excited her or terrified her.

“Well, okay, maybe I hold it against her a little,” admitted Cat. She didn’t like admitting that she had been hurt by anybody, but she couldn’t keep pretending after she’d just given Kara the ‘honest communication is important’ speech.

“Do you still love her?” asked Kara, unable to keep a touch of jealousy out of her voice.Cat couldn’t help but be a little happy at Kara’s jealousy. God knows she’d had to put up with seeing Kara being drooled over by everyone with eyes over the years. And to make matters worse Kara had smiled at them, which they had taken as encouragement, although mostly she was just being oblivious as to their intentions.

“What? God no!” said Cat, genuinely surprised. Nobody had ever accused her of being in love with Lois before - even when she was.

“You kept her picture. After all this time. You still insult her to this day, and I know that that means that you care,” pressed Kara. Ah, Cat understood now. She had told Kara that she insulted her to hide her feelings from her, so now she thought that Cat’s insults at Lois were coming from the same place. She wanted to tell Kara that she was the only one she cared for, but she decided that this was still too new for Kara to take that on total faith.

“She was my first love, okay? She’ll always mean something to me. I wasn’t always this guarded, you know? She broke my young, vulnerable heart. And she made me never want to feel that bad again. So yes, I insult her. Because I’m bitter, not because I secretly love her. I kept the picture because sometimes I forget that it was ever good with her. I really only remember the pain. So, sometimes, I like to remind myself that love can be good,” said Cat, hoping that nobody, especially not her, would break Kara’s heart and turn her cold.

“Oh. Well, good,” said Kara, feeling silly now that she had told Cat. 

“Do you feel better, not keeping that inside?” asked Cat, wanting to make sure and ask, in case Kara was still holding back.

“Yes baby, I feel better,” said Kara smiling. She did feel better. It was like a weight that she didn’t even know was on her had lifted. She had quickly closed the photo when she had seen it and told herself that she didn’t care, but it was obvious now that she hadn’t actually let any of it go. Maybe Cat was right. Maybe repressing the bad emotions wasn’t always the best way to go.

“We’re here,” said Cat’s driver suddenly. Cat was suddenly very aware of the fact that she didn’t want to separate from Kara, but she reminded herself that they really hadn’t been together for very long.

“Well ... goodnight Kara,” said Cat reluctantly. Kara kissed her then, slowly, passionately. Cat let her keep control this time, even though she almost never did that, but there was something about Kara that made her willing to be softer. 

“We should do this again. Soon,” said Kara, breaking away from the kiss, her hand resting on Cat’s cheek and stroking it gently.

“Do you want to go to Chipotle?” asked Cat with a pained expression, unable to get the words out without grimacing. The words came out fast, like she was trying to get it out as fast as possible, although she was really trying to come off as neutral.

“You know, maybe we should do something other than eating,” laughed Kara, because it was rather clear that they had vastly different preferences for food.

“Like a movie?” asked Cat, who thought that going to see a superhero movie with Kara was bound to be a fun experience for both of them. Kara could mock the fight sequences for being unrealistic and Cat could mock the idiots around the Superhero who were somehow unaware that their close friend was the hero who kept saving them.

“Or Netflix?” asked Kara, picking up on Cat’s desire to keep their relationship private for the time being.

“Do you want to ‘Netflix and chill’ with me Kara?” asked Cat with a smirk. She might not have the most up to date phone, but she had a son, so she had made sure to keep up with certain slang terms.

“Do you know what that means?” asked Kara, laughing again, because she never thought those words would come out of Cat’s mouth.

“Yes darling, I am well aware,” said Cat, rolling her eyes slightly at Kara’s assumption that she wouldn’t know these things. Also, she was pretty sure that she knew a lot more about ‘Netflix and chilling’ than Kara did. 

“Yes.” Kara smirked and got out of the car, leaving behind a slightly stunned Cat Grant, because she certainly hadn’t expected that response. Not that she was complaining. She took a few seconds to calm down and get her phone out. 

Cat: Tomorrow night? You, me, Netflix and Chill? Carter’s on a school trip all week starting tomorrow. 

She got the message back just a few seconds later. 

Kara: sounds good baby :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Somebody wanted more, so here you go.

The next day Kara was smiling so hard at work that people were constantly asking her what she was so happy about. Sure, Kara always came off happy, but she was ridiculously giddy, and there really had to be an explanation. Kara froze the first time the question was asked. She couldn’t say ‘oh I went out with Cat last night and it was the best night of my life’, so she decided to dance around the truth, like she always did. ‘I had a date last night,’ seemed like a nice general statement that people could understand her excitement over. People assumed it was a boy and she didn’t correct them. They asked if she had been seeing him long and she said ‘oh, not that long’ - because in a way she had been seeing Cat for two years and yet at the same time she wasn’t sure if they were dating now. Did a secret relationship really count as dating? They inquired as to whether she had plans to marry him and she said, ‘we’ll see’. It wasn’t a lie at all really. Of course Kara wanted to marry Cat one day, but she had no idea if Cat would ever reciprocate that desire.

Cat had been told by three separate people, who really should have had better things to do with their time, about Kara’s sudden boyfriend, who she was incredibly happy with, and apparently just about read to marry. Cat wasn’t at a loss for words very often, but the first person who told her may have seen Cat’s mouth slightly open for longer than she normally allowed. ‘I’m happy for her,’ was all Cat managed to say. Honestly, Kara’s lack of ability to keep a secret was almost comical. Although she wasn’t really sure why Kara was telling people about a boy. 

At around noon Max decided that he would come by Cat’s office. He was trying to convince her to stop printing ‘Supergirl propaganda’, as he put it. He was willing to pay for it though, offering a whole range of ‘free’ Lord technology in exchange for ‘a more balanced perspective’. Cat didn’t need the money, and she wasn’t really sure why Max thought she’d be desperate enough to let herself be bribed, but she heard him out, mostly because she thought it was funny how much money he was willing to spend trying to perpetuate his xenophobia. Then she politely told him, ‘I don’t think so Max’.

He didn’t really take it as well as she thought he would. He had always seemed to be under the impression that she was attracted to him, which she hadn’t really corrected because she’d known guys like him, and there was very rarely anything that she could say to actually get the message across. But this time he was getting very close to her and touching her arm and saying ‘I could do other things for you’ in a voice that she supposed was meant to be seductive, but honestly just made her want to gag. Not that she would though. God only knows how Max would react to that. 

“Everything okay?” came a sudden voice. Cat looked with relief at Kara, standing in her doorway, looking at her with concern. Kara had a polite smile, but Cat could see the burning anger under the surface. Kara was just managing to hold herself back from shooting Max with the lasers that came out of her eyes. She rather liked the look of what seemed like possessiveness from her girlfriend, but she didn’t think that Kara’s anger was the right approach for this situation. 

“Max was just leaving,” said Cat calmly. She didn’t need a Superhero rescue from this; it was just another day of men being inappropriate and completely unaware of how unwanted their attention was, mostly because they weren’t actually looking for any real signs that the person they were talking to actually wanted them there. 

“Oh, I don’t think so,” said Max in that voice that made Cat’s skin crawl. She didn’t quite know what to do with that. She could have security throw him out, but then there could be a media scandal and she really didn’t need more media attention right now, given her current relationship with Kara.

She didn’t get to think about it for long though, because Kara walked up to Max, grabbed him by the back of his shirt and just started dragging him away. Max started to say something but Kara started pulling him by his upper arm, and if the cry of pain that came out of him was any indication, she was pressing a little hard. Kara rode the elevator down with him, told security that if they ever saw him again they were to ‘taser on sight’, and threw him out of the building - literally. 

Kara went back up to check on Cat, and found Cat standing outside the public elevator. And since Cat never used that, Kara realized that she must be waiting for her. “Are you okay Miss Grant?” asked Kara, stepping outside the elevator and towards Cat, although not getting too close, still trying to put a ‘professional’ amount of distance between them. It felt odd to almost pretend like nothing had happened between them, but Kara was used to hiding; she did it so well.

“Yes,” said Cat simply, because she wanted to say so many things but they were in public, so she would just have to wait. “I’ll see you tonight,” said Cat softly; so softly that Kara only heard her with her super hearing. Kara was going to respond with but Cat just started walking back to her office, so she went back to her own.

Kara spent the rest of the day smiling a little less. The image of Max near Cat was burned into her memory. It wasn’t about possessiveness, although the thought of anyone else touching Cat did make her burn with jealousy. But she knew that Cat had no interest in Max. Cat had principles about right and wrong, where Max had a sad story that he used to try to justify his violent hatred of aliens. They were completely incompatible. It was Cat being uncomfortable that Kara couldn’t quite shake. Even captured by super villains Cat had always maintained a cool facade, but Kara saw just how desperately Cat had wanted to get away from Max, and she had almost lost it. She had wanted to kill him, but she knew that Cat wouldn’t want that, so she hadn’t.

Eventually it was time to leave work. Kara went straight to Cat’s place. It was funny treating Cat like two different people - her boss Cat and her girlfriend Cat. Having two identities had been somewhat easy for her - in a way, her Kara Danvers personality had been crafted the day she arrived here, as had Supergirl. Both of them were something that she had had for a long time. But suddenly having to split parts of Cat felt a little strange to her. She still respected Cat as her boss, as a journalist, as a colleague. But she was also in love with her, and she didn’t really see why they had to be separate. She didn’t really intend to bring it up any time soon though. If Cat wanted things to be separate, Kara could live with that.

Kara walked into Cat’s penthouse and found Cat sitting on the couch drinking a glass of red wine. Kara was starting wonder just how much Cat drank. She wasn’t entirely sure what the safe amount for humans was, but she felt like Cat might be pushing it. Not that she was going to bring that up to Cat. She would never tell anyone what they should or shouldn’t put in their mouth. Although she’d probably ask Alex about it sometime - she knew Alex liked to drink too. “Hey baby,” said Kara softly, not sure if Cat had noticed that she was there, given that Cat wasn’t looking at her.

“Sit down, Kara,” said Cat gently, but authoritatively. Kara was immediately scared that Cat was going to leave her, but she decided even if she did, this was the best experience of her life, and she wouldn’t change it for anything. Kara sat down, right on the edge of the couch, far away from Cat as to not invade her space, since she wasn’t sure that she wanted her in it. Cat looked up at her and sighed, getting up only to sit down again in Kara’s lap as she put her arms around her neck. Kara relaxed at that, putting her arms around Cat’s back and squeezing just enough so that Cat could feel it. Cat knew how much Kara needed to be reassured, and how much she liked physical contact. It was a little new, with Kara anyway, but Cat refused to let her own issues get in the way of making sure Kara felt safe. She’d spent two years concerned with her own emotions, now it was time to be more understanding of Kara’s.

“Are you okay?” asked Kara, because she wasn’t sure that Cat had been honest before at the office.

“Of course I’m okay. You saved me. That’s the problem,” sighed Cat, although Kara wasn’t really sure why there was a problem given the way that Cat was in her arms.

“I don’t understand,” said Kara, confused.

“You didn’t save me because Supergirl was needed. You saved me because I’m your girlfriend,” said Cat like it was an accusation, although Kara wasn’t really sure what she was being accused of.

“I’m not allowed to pull creepy guys off of you?” asked Kara, genuinely unsure why Cat would feel that way, although willing to respect the boundary if Cat wanted it.

“With normal strength, sure. I got a call from the hospital. For some sad reason Max had me down as his next of kin. I suppose he had to put someone down and he just decided to pick me, since he doesn’t seem to have anyone who would voluntarily be around him. His arm is shattered Kara,” said Cat with a concerned tone, although Kara wasn’t really sure why Cat cared. 

“He can afford it,” said Kara, unaffected. She started running her hand through Cat’s hair gently, wanting to touch Cat even more the more they talked about Max. She still couldn’t shake the images of Max being so close to her girlfriend. Cat was somewhat concerned that Kara sounded a lot like when she was under the influence of red Kryptonite, although she got the impression that this time it was more justified. She knew that Max had been willing to kill people - seeing them merely as collateral damage - so she knew that he wasn’t so innocent. Still, he was a person.

“He shouldn’t need to Kara!” said Cat strongly, although she was still wrapped up in Kara’s arms, so Kara got the feeling that Cat wasn’t too mad.

“You don’t know what he’s done. If you did, you wouldn’t defend him. Me breaking his arm might be an overreaction to him touching you a little. Might. But he’s killed people, okay? So yeah, I wanted him to get the message that he shouldn’t go anywhere near you,” said Kara finally, trying to get Cat to realize the potential danger that she was in so that she would drop it. Cat processed that. Max had actually killed people? No wonder he was so calm about killing more. That certainly changed things. In fact, that changed a lot of things.

“But he can go near other people? And hurt them?” asked Cat with a mixture of confusion and aggression, although her proximity to Kara took the bite out of it.

“No? Why would you say that?” asked Kara, confused as to why her girlfriend was arguing with her in general, and where Cat was coming from with this line of questioning.

“Because you didn’t stop him Kara! You might have stopped him from going near me again, but he’s free to go and hurt everyone else,” explained Cat, slightly more calmly, because she was beginning to think that Kara hadn’t really thought this through. 

“He’s human, okay? We’re not really supposed to target them ... you, I guess. That’s for the police. But, you know, he’s rich, he’s white, and he has great lawyers so he’s not really getting stopped by that system either,” said Kara dejectedly. Honestly, Cat had always been a little bit too nonchalant about Kara saving her for her liking. Was ‘thank you’ really too much to ask? Did she really need to pick a fight though?

“So, we’re back to you’re just letting him hurt people,” pressed Cat, because she might not let her emotions show very often, but even she would admit that she didn’t want to see innocent people get hurt.

“I don’t know what you want, baby. If I hurt humans, that will scare them ... you. The anti-alien movement will use it to generate panic. You know Max is bad, but they’ll just pick the one time that he helped someone and use it to say what a monster I am, that I hurt this outstanding pillar of the community, that I’m coming for your children. They’ve ... you’ve already turned on me once, and I don’t want that to happen again,” said Kara, wondering if she could ever really get Cat to understand what it was like to be an alien, understand that she had to always be conscious of what she did so that she was not seen as one of those bad aliens who the DEO locked up with no oversight and did Rao knows what with.

“So you’re letting Max hurt people so that you don’t get hurt?” asked Cat pointedly, slightly disappointed in her hero.

“You know, I don’t tell you how to do your job,” said Kara with a huff, because honestly, everyone’s a critic. Especially Cat.

“Yes, but I’ve always told you how to do yours. And you have always valued my opinion. I’m not entirely sure why you’re getting so defensive about this,” said Cat, who was a little thrown after giving advice to Kara for two years - and honestly, most of it was delivered a lot more harshly.

“Because I love you! And I know that you love me back now! I want you to support me, not criticize me,” said Kara, who couldn’t help but get a little defensive. Cat had been a constant source of criticism - and it was usually rather beneficial - but she was her girlfriend now, and Kara had kind of assumed that that would change things.

“You have a lot of power, Kara. You need somebody to criticize you. We’re talking about very real consequences here. People could die because of this,” said Cat softly, because she didn’t want to upset Kara, but Cat knew that the kind of power Kara had needed some level of oversight. She needed Kara to understand the kind of effect she could have - both positive and negative - because she was sure if it went wrong she would have to deal with her girlfriend blaming herself and crying because she could have done more. And she really didn’t want that.

“You know, I thought I’d just punch things. I thought that’s what heroes did. There’s the good guys, and the bad guys, and you just punch the bad guys until they go down. I didn’t really think I’d need to make decisions,” said Kara, more to herself than anyone else. 

“Well, you do. Maybe most humans would be more comfortable if you only hurt aliens. But that doesn’t mean that that is what you should do. Humans can be a danger to humans, or aliens for that matter, and those humans need to be stopped. I’m not suggesting you execute him Kara, but you have to do something. You can’t just protect the humans that you like and leave the rest of them to suffer. That’s not very heroic,” said Cat, because she knew what it was like to make the less heroic decision, and how that made her feel.

“You’ve always thought I was more of a hero than I really was,” said Kara softly, because sometimes she wondered if Supergirl could ever really live up to Cat’s expectations.

“That’s not what I meant, Kara. I know it’s more convenient to put people in boxes and to say that you’ll protect the humans from the aliens, because humans are so great and aliens are so bad. And humans are willing to give you the freedom to do whatever you want to aliens, because we’ve decided that they’re different somehow and so somehow they don’t deserve basic rights. But I imagine that as an alien you must see the flaw in that logic,” continued Cat, because she got the feeling that Kara wasn’t quite getting the point.

“I know people think I’m a boundless optimist. Sun and light and a puppy. But I’m a realist. I can’t hurt humans. It would start a war. That’s just the way it is. You’re right, of course aliens should have the same rights as humans. But we don’t. And I don’t think that we ever will, to be honest. But I’m going to do the best that I can to protect as many people as I can. And yes, I will protect you more than others. I love you; I won’t apologize for that. It’s not the trait of a hero, just someone with emotions. And now that we’re dating you’re going to have to stop idealizing me so much. You told me once that I didn’t get to be a person. But I am, and you need to learn to accept that,” said Kara, dropping her sunny tone. Cat had said that she wanted her to be honest before, although she wondered if Cat really wanted to hear her hero be so honest now.

“Darling, I think that you misunderstood me. I am well aware that you are a person. I meant that other people don’t accept that. When you’re in the public eye people criticize every mistake. People are quick to build you up, but they’re faster to tear you down. If people realize that Supergirl plays favorites with who she saves, people will flock to Max’s side. People like the idea of heroes, but real people with power are terrifying. They’ll turn on you in a heartbeat if they ever get scared, and they’ll be more than willing to hurt you,” said Cat, feeling a surge of protectiveness as she held Kara tighter. Her girlfriend was bulletproof but she wasn’t invulnerable, and Cat had just as much desire to protect Kara as Kara did her.

“I know that. But I’m doing the best that I can. And, honestly, do you really wish that I didn’t pull Max off you? I can hear your heartbeat, you know?” said Kara, going back to what had started all of this, because honestly she had only walked in because her girlfriend’s heart had spiked harder than when she’d been on red Kryptonite, and she couldn’t ignore that.

“Of course I wanted you to. Of course I like that you hurt him. Of course I’m glad that he’ll be scared to come near me again. It doesn’t make it right though. Other people matter too,” said Cat with a sigh, because despite what some people may think, she had some very real principles.

“Okay baby, how about this? I will go into the DEO tomorrow and we will make a plan to make sure Max never hurts anyone else ever again.” Cat had no idea what the DEO was, but she made sure to file it away for a later date. She also registered that Kara had finally agreed to do something about Max and smiled.

“That sounds good,” said Cat, finally aware of being on top of Kara now that she had made her point. Kara seemed to notice the shift in Cat’s mood in the silence and slowly started to kiss her. Cat kissed back immediately while Kara’s hands started gliding over Cat’s body softly, not really staying in one area, just wanting to feel. After a few minutes Cat stopped and Kara pulled her hands away immediately. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” started Cat.

“I know baby,” said Kara, relaxing, almost amused, because she was completely sure that Cat loved her and would never do anything that made her uncomfortable. 

“Do you want to go to bed?” asked Cat softly, not wanting to let her desperation for Kara show, although she suspected Kara’s super senses would probably give her away. As a response Kara just kissed her again and then lifted her up, letting Cat wrap her legs around her waist as she led them to the bedroom.

* * *

The next day Kara’s alarm woke both of them up. Kara was snuggled into Cat’s arms as they lay in the middle of the bed. “Turn it off!” grumbled Cat as Kara reluctantly detached from Cat to turn the irritating sound off. “What time is it?” Cat groaned as she looked at the clock. 

“Time for me to get ready to go to work, baby,” said Kara gently, climbing back into bed for just a second to kiss Cat on the forehead. “Go back to sleep.” Kara went to the closet and then stopped. “Um ... baby ... can I borrow something to wear?” asked Kara, suddenly aware that she didn’t have any of her clothes here.

“Whatever,” said Cat, still trying to pull the covers around her tighter and get back to sleep. She didn’t quite know what to do with her arms now that Kara wasn’t in them, and it felt like something was missing. But it was also 5 in the morning and she was not getting up, so she closed her eyes shut and fell back asleep within seconds.

When Cat finally arrived at work she noticed that she was getting some strange looks. She heard someone say, ‘I guess the cat’s out of the bag - or out of the closet’ and she was instantly nervous. She went into Kara’s office to find the girl looking very professional. It was a rather nice change. In fact, Cat rather approved of her clothes. They were her clothes. Cat wore them to work all the time. Kara was wearing her clothes. Everyone knew that Kara was wearing her clothes. Everyone knew that they were sleeping together. 

“You know that everyone knows now, right?” asked Cat, unsure of Kara’s perception levels given that she had lied to her face for a while, despite Cat making it rather obvious that she was well aware of who Kara was. 

“I have been getting some rather obvious comments,” said Kara, keeping it vague to spare Cat from having to hear the things that she’d heard. She knew Cat was tough, but nobody really liked to be insulted.

“Ah. And how do you feel about those comments?” asked Cat, knowing instinctively that they were negative.

“Well, I don’t love them. But I’m not going to leave you, if that’s what you’re getting at. And I don’t regret anything,” said Kara reassuringly. Not yet, Cat thought, but she kept that inside. 

“Okay. Well, at least you can just call me Cat now.” She had never liked that Kara called her ‘Miss Grant’. It felt like she was her school teacher or something, which really wasn’t what Cat wanted. But it wasn’t like she could tell Kara, ‘hey, listen, I’m incredibly attracted to you, my 24 year old assistant, but you calling me by my last name is making me feel weird about it, so could you switch to my first name?’ So she’d just gone along with it for two years.

“Okay, Cat,” said Kara, and Cat could already tell that her voice was less enthusiastic than usual. The comments were already getting to her. 

“You know, sooner than later they’re probably going to start talking about us on TMZ. You might want to not watch those kinds of things for a while,” said Cat, hoping to spare Kara all the pain that she could, although she got the feeling that this was going to, and had already, hurt Kara.

“Yeah, I don’t read much gossip anyway. They’re pretty critical of Supergirl too,” said Kara dully, and Cat wondered just how much criticism this girl could take.

“We’re supposed to have a meeting now but we can reschedule ... or you can just not come, if you want,” said Cat, not wanting to upset her girlfriend more.

“No, it’s fine. I’m not going to hide. I’m not ashamed to be with you,” said Kara with just a hint of her Supergirl confidence, because really, she hated hiding who she was and she wasn’t going to hide this.

“I never thought you were, darling. But they might say things that you’re not going to like. You don’t have to expose yourself to that just to prove that you can take it. It might be better to give people some time,” said Cat gently, not wanting to push Kara into anything.

“Well, I’ve waited two years for this and I’m not waiting anymore. If people don’t like it, tough,” said Kara, with more conviction than she really had, as she grabbed Cat’s hand and led her into the meeting room. People were whispering, and Kara could hear all of it, but she ignored it as she sat down next to Cat. 

“Okay, first on the agenda is this week’s article on Supergirl ...” started Cat, with that professional voice she used so well that instantly quieted the whispering. They talked about the upcoming issue without any problems. Kara didn’t say anything, even though in other meetings she had been constantly giving suggestions, which made Cat slightly concerned, but she wasn’t going to push Kara now. At the end of the meeting Cat told everybody that they could go, but when Kara quickly got up to leave Cat grabbed her hand to pull her back and Kara reluctantly sat back down. They waited until everybody was gone to talk. “You were quiet,” mused Cat.

“Yeah,” said Kara. Cat waited, because if there was one thing about Kara that she’d always liked it was the way that she could go on talking. “I just ... I hate having super hearing sometimes. People think that they’d like to know what other people think of them, but they really wouldn’t. And it’s hard enough when it’s me but the things that they say about you ... I just want to kill them. And I know that’s wrong and everything, I don’t need another ‘be a good hero’ speech. It’s just frustrating. I didn’t talk because they would’ve heard the emotion in my voice, and you’re the one who taught me I’m not allowed to get emotional at work,” admitted Kara, because she was trying to be honest about how she was feeling, although she wasn’t sure what the point was. Cat couldn’t change anything.

“Darling, if I would’ve known where this was heading, I would’ve told you that dating your boss will do far more damage than one emotional outburst,” said Cat lightly, trying to improve Kara’s mood a little. It didn’t really seem to work though. 

“You seem so unaffected,” said Kara, confused as to how her girlfriend managed to do that. 

“Oh, well, they can say what they like. At the end of the day, I’ve got you. And Carter. You’re really the only two people whose opinions mean anything to me. Besides, I’ve heard a lot of things over the years. You get used to it eventually. Although ... I would understand ... if you didn’t want to do this,” said Cat slowly, because she never wanted to hurt Kara, and she would let Kara go if that’s what she wanted. It’s why she had promoted her in the first place. She had decided that Kara came first, and she would do what was best for Kara ever since she gave her that borderline suicide speech which had terrified her for days. Eventually she had decided that Kara was still coming to work alive so she was probably okay, but she would never forget how it felt as Kara walked out of that office after Cat had only managed to say ‘you’ve made quite the impression on me too’. She didn’t want Kara to die not knowing that she really thought that Kara was special, although God, she didn’t want Kara to die at all. She didn’t know what she’d do if she did. 

“Baby, I love you,” said Kara simply, dismissing the idea with an amused smile.

“I know that Kara. I love you too. And maybe you’re too young to really appreciate this, but life isn’t that simple. Just because we love each other doesn’t mean that this is going to work. I know that you’re sensitive. The things that people are saying are already getting to you. If we broke up now ...” started Cat, but Kara interrupted. Cat was almost regretting teaching her to be more assertive.

“I’ll never leave you baby,” said Kara with more conviction than Cat thought she’d ever heard. Cat didn’t quite know how to explain to Kara that there was such a thing as too much loyalty. Part of her was terrified that if they did break up, the next person to date Kara would take advantage of how unbelievably kind she was. She certainly didn’t want that either.

“Just listen to me, okay? Humor me,” said Cat with a somewhat pleading tone. Kara nodded reluctantly. “If at some point you’ve had enough, I want you to know that I will make everything as easy as possible for you. I will write you the best reference you’ve ever had and won’t even need because I have friends who will get you a much better job with one phone call from me. You don’t need to give me any notice, you can leave immediately, and I will make sure you get full severance benefits. I will not try to talk you out of anything, I will not argue with you, and I will not cry when you walk out that door even though I’ll want to, because I don’t want to make it harder for you. Just ... remember that,” said Cat, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice but in the last few sentences it came out anyway. She pulled herself back together in a second though, hyper-aware of all the glass windows that people could see her through.

“Okay, baby, are you done?” asked Kara somewhat flatly, and Cat replied in the affirmative with an amused smirk because she should have guessed that Kara would respond with that tone. She wasn’t the same doormat assistant that she had hired two years ago. “I have been in love with you for two years. And you have treated me like dirt for most of it. And that hurt. It hurt a lot. But, it turns out, that you were just scared the entire time. Because Cat Grant Queen of All Media was too scared to ask her assistant out on a date. Behind all that bravado you have always been scared. And you still are. You love me, so you’re scared that I’ll leave. And don’t get me wrong, it’s a very nice speech about how you’ll make it easy for me, but I think that you’re saying it for your benefit just as much as mine. You’re scared to get attached. You’ve always been scared of getting close to me. And while you were just my direct supervisor, maybe that made some sense, but you’re my girlfriend now, so you’re just going to have to learn to have a little faith in me. I’m not going to leave you. You’re right, I’m sensitive. I don’t love what people are saying about us. But it is nothing compared to the things that you’ve said to me. So maybe I need a little time to adjust. I’ll get over it. But I’m never going to get over you. Rao knows I’ve tried. I would choose you over a million people. Over a billion. Over the entire population,” said Kara, looking at Cat like she was her whole world.

“I don’t want you to do that,” said Cat softly, because she really did believe in equality.

“I know you don’t. But I can’t help it. I can’t lose you. I won’t, not when I have the power to save you. So you’re just going to have to get used to that. If you’re too scared to do this, baby, I understand. I’ll let you go, I’ll never bother you again, and you can transfer me somewhere else so that you never have to see me again. But don’t pretend like you’re doing me any favors,” said Kara, who couldn’t quite believe that Cat ever thought that she could consider leaving her.

“Darling, I assure you that I’m never going to leave you. And I see that in trying to spare myself pain I have hurt you in the past, which is not a mistake I intend to repeat. I’m really not trying to push you away; I promise you that I’ll never do that again. You’re right - of course I’m scared that you’ll leave me. Even though you’ve never given me a reason to think that you would, my mind always goes to the worst case scenarios. But don’t mistake that for an ulterior motive. I’m your first love. They always feel special and irreplaceable, but someday, someone else might come along, and maybe it would be simpler to be with that someone. And I just want you to know that I will support whatever you decide,” said Cat calmly, hoping that Kara wouldn’t be too blinded by love to consider the real impact of their relationship.

“Baby, at some point we’re going to have to talk about your massive insecurities. Because you are a hugely successful CEO and like ... the hottest person I’ve ever met. So I’m not entirely sure who you think I’d rather be with. The fact that we work together is a bit annoying, but honestly, I think they just need to get used to it,” said Kara, sounding fully confident now. Cat had always given her confidence, but now that they were dating it was a different dynamic. Also, getting to hear Cat say that she would never leave her was really all she needed to decide that all the stupid comments were irrelevant. What did those people know? Kara talked to pretty much everyone and she knew that their relationships were a lot less than perfect, so why should their opinions count? “In fact, that gives me an idea,” said Kara suddenly, pulling Cat out of her office by her hand. Cat was somewhat startled but followed Kara trustingly anyway.

Kara went toward a group of three people standing around, still pulling Cat along. Cat was really starting to wonder what Kara’s brilliant idea was. “Kevin, Peter, Lily, hi, how’s it going?” asked Kara, crashing their conversation. She was well aware that they were just talking about how Kara couldn’t possibly like Cat, and how she was just desperate to stop getting her lattes, so she slept with her. They had no way of knowing that she knew that, of course.

“Hey,” they each mumbled, looking at their shoes like they had a sudden and passionate interest in footwear.

“So I’m dating Cat now, isn’t that exciting?” asked Kara, smiling as Cat squeezed her hand very hard, knowing that she couldn’t hurt Kara and needing a little bit of reassurance. Cat really wasn’t sure where this was going and she didn’t like that. She trusted Kara with her life though.

“Yeah.”

“Great.”

“Exciting.”

“I’ve been in love with her for so long. I can’t believe she loves me back. Did you know how she felt?” asked Kara, enjoying making them uncomfortable for a change. She was more of a ‘forgive and forget’ kind of person, usually, but it seemed that when people insulted Cat she was very much a ‘don’t get mad, get even’ kind of person because she wouldn’t tolerate people talking about her girlfriend like this, especially not because of her. Also, she was mad, and she wasn’t allowed to burn them with her laser vision, so this would have to do. She could deal with a lot of things, but when it came to Cat she was weak. She’d do anything to protect her, and she couldn’t help her rage at people talking about the woman she loved like she was some kind of predator.

“No,” they all mumbled awkwardly.

“Kara, are you intending to tell the entire office how much you love me?” asked Cat, highly amused. She still wasn’t sure what the point of this was, but she decided that for these priceless reactions from her employees, she didn’t care too much. She was glad that Kara was finally standing up for herself; she hoped that she did it more often.

“No, baby, don’t be silly. I’m going to tell the entire building,” said Kara, beaming. Cat enjoyed seeing wide eyes when Kara used the word ‘baby’. Kara seemed to have said it by habit, not really having realized the impact of it, but her employees looked like they were about to have a stroke. Cat was really enjoying this idea of Kara’s, whatever it was.

“And you thought you’d bring me along because ...?” asked Cat, trying to stop herself from laughing at her employees faces as she tried to figure out just what Kara was doing.

“Oh, well, I thought that if they were going to talk about our relationship, then we can talk about theirs. Except I don’t want to talk behind people’s backs, because that’s just rude, so I thought I’d tell you in front of them. Kevin here is cheating on his wife with Lily, which his wife is unaware of. Although personally, I think that Kevin’s just putting out so that she’ll give him a promotion,” said Kara as Cat finally broke and started softly laughing into Kara’s shoulder. She got was Kara was doing now. Giving people a taste of their own medicine. She liked it. “Peter is single though. He complains about being ‘friend-zoned’ because he’s ‘such a nice guy’. He doesn’t understand why women have no interest in a guy who constantly tells them things like ‘you’d be so much prettier without make-up’ and ‘it’s really hard to be a white man in America’,” said Kara with a venom Cat wondered if she’d gotten from her. Cat finally stopped laughing but kept her head rested on Kara’s shoulder, which she was able to do thanks to her heels. Did she buy these heels just so that she could be as tall as Kara? Maybe. 

“Don’t I pay you people to work? Go do something!” said Cat with her usual authority despite using Kara’s shoulder as a pillow, and she was pleasantly surprised to find that they all looked just as scared as usual, in fact, she thought that they might even look more scared. They ran off to their desks, typing with a speed that rivaled Kara’s. 

“I had more,” said Kara, pouting a little.

“Don’t overdo it, darling. I think they got the message,” said Cat, half-proud and half-terrified of her girlfriend. She certainly hadn’t expected Kara to be this assertive, and she didn’t really know how effective it would be, but it certainly was amusing.

Kara dragged Cat around for a good hour, which Cat really should have spent at some really boring meetings, but she didn’t care and she couldn’t say no to Kara, especially not when she was like this. Cat also had to admit that this had to be one of the most entertaining hours she had spent at Cat Co. She didn’t really have an interest in her employee’s personal lives - well, except for one - but she found Kara’s surprisingly biting remarks about their relationships a nice change of pace. She didn’t think that they were going to dare to criticize her relationship with Kara for a while. Cat had gotten used to people attacking her relationships, even when she knew full well that they had certainly made mistakes with theirs, although she had never actually pointed out their hypocrisy. She had decided long ago that it was one of those things that came with being a celebrity, so she had always just let it go. Honestly, she liked Kara’s method better.

When Kara finally returned Cat to her office, Cat saw that her employees were all frantically working and avoiding looking in both Cat and Kara’s direction. Cat was really starting to think that this might work out. Kara went back to her windowless office and tried for a good ten minutes to resist using her super hearing. Curiosity got the better of her though, and she listened into what the building was saying. 

“You know, Kara’s pretty scary when she wants to be. I never thought she’d be like that.”

“Yeah, well, I guess she got sick of people saying mean things about her and her girlfriend. They clearly love each other. Did you see Cat just follow her around adoringly? She just stood there and let Kara talk, and she seemed so content about it. She just stares at her like she’s an angel or something, and she can’t believe how lucky she is.”

“Yeah, yeah I suppose. Still, she’s her boss’s boss’s ... boss, you know? Isn’t it a conflict of interest?”

“I don’t know, Michael. That’s a lot of criticism coming from somebody who hits on every twenty year old girl he sees.”

“I’m complimenting them! They like it!”

“Do they Michael?”

“They don’t say anything!”

“Maybe because they’re scared of your reaction so they just smile, try not to upset you, and hope you’ll go away. I’ve seen Cat interact with Kara a number of times, and she only ever tried to push that girl away. I suppose that she was trying to be professional and she just kind of oversold it. She certainly never used her position as a way to get Kara to be in a relationship with her; if anything, it was a hindrance. But anyway, it’s pretty clear that Kara is happy with her, and Kara has been nothing but nice to us, so maybe we should just be happy for her.”

“Yeah, yeah I suppose.” Kara just smiled and went back to work. This was all going to work out. Maybe love really could conquer all, despite Cat’s insistence that it didn’t.

* * *

At the end of the day almost everyone had gone home and Kara went to see Cat in her office. “Baby, are you almost ready to go?” asked Kara, standing at the open door, not needing to care who heard anymore. Cat was glad that Kara seemed to be implying that they would be leaving together, as they hadn’t actually made any plans. She liked the idea of always leaving with Kara, if she was honest. 

“Ten more minutes,” said Cat without looking away from her screen. 

“Really? If I come back in ten minutes are you going to tell me that you need another ten minutes?” asked Kara, walking over to Cat. She knew how hard her girlfriend worked, overworked really, and now that they were dating she intended to put a little balance into her life. 

“I’m just finishing up this one article and then ...” said Cat, still not looking up. She was cut off though as Kara was suddenly in her lap and kissing her, and Cat found herself automatically kissing back. After a few seconds Kara pulled away though and Cat couldn’t help but miss the contact.

“It will be there tomorrow. Take me home, baby,” said Kara, with an authority Cat was starting to be very glad that she taught her. Cat sighed as she shut down her computer, and ignored the wolf whistle as she walked to the elevator holding Kara’s hand. 

If only they could have seen them once the elevator doors closed. Kara was suddenly very appreciative of the fact that Cat had her own elevator as Cat pushed her against the wall with her body and kissed her rougher than she ever had. Kara melted into it and just let Cat do what she wanted, although soon enough Cat pulled away. A second later the doors opened and Cat had to pull Kara by the hand towards the car, because she was too busy desperately looking at Cat to notice anything else, like the fact that she should be moving. 

Cat pretended to be somewhat annoyed at Kara’s eyes on her like she was a water fountain in a desert. She loved it though. She loved Kara’s attention. She had never really thought that Kara would want her like this, had never hoped to dream that she would want Cat the way that Cat wanted her. And part of Cat was still trying to hide how affected she was by Kara, because what if Kara left? She didn’t want to get used to something that wasn’t going to last. She didn’t want to admit to herself how much she liked this, because that meant accepting that she really had something to lose. She was trying to be brave for Kara. She had put her own feelings over Kara for two years and she had promised not to do that again. But that was so easy to say and so hard to do. She hadn’t needed to be vulnerable for a long time, and it was hard to let down walls that she couldn’t even remember putting up. She had to try though. Even if she had to let down her defenses enough that her heart got shattered into a million pieces, it would be worth it to see Kara happy.

Cat pulled Kara into the car and yelled, “home!” at her driver who wasn’t starting the engine fast enough for her liking.

“Please,” added Kara, and Cat really wondered how this girl lost an entire planet and still turned out this nice. It was an interesting contrast to Max’s whole ‘my parents died so I get to be horrible now’ thing. Kara’s parents had died too, along with everyone she ever knew. She couldn’t tell people that, obviously, but she told people that her parents died in a fire, which could easily work as a sob story justification for meanness. She never did it though. She wanted to be a hero, a real hero, not like Max’s warped sense of that word. She supposed that if Kara could do all that, she could be a tad nicer.

“Please,” added Cat, trying to make it come out smooth, although it still sounded a little forced. Kara just smiled and cuddled close to Cat, resting her head on her shoulder, so Cat decided that it was good enough. Cat ran her fingers through Kara’s hair as Kara started to kiss her neck softly, trying to be loving more than teasing, although Cat liked it more than she would ever admit, so she restrained herself from ordering her driver to break every speed limit to get them home as soon as possible. Cat wondered how this girl could be so gentle with all the power in her veins. Kara was so sweet, and despite Cat’s insistence for the better part of two years that she found it annoying, that wasn’t really true.

Cat had spent a long time building up her walls, trying to build up an air of authority in a time when it was unthinkable for a woman to command anything, and when she would have been beaten up for her sexuality. Kara didn’t know that time though. She had no hesitation in telling people how in love with Cat she was, and she didn’t understand how easily a woman’s authority could be undermined. And she didn’t want Kara to understand either. She didn’t want Kara to know that struggle; God knows the girl had enough of her own. So she could be nice for Kara. She could ask politely and let Kara tell the world that they were in love. Because when Kara wasn’t there Cat could put her mask back on, snapping at employees to demand their respect and keeping her private life very much private. Cat would never want Kara to be like her. She hoped that she could protect her from the world so that she could keep the Sunny Danvers personality and optimism, and she hoped most of all that Kara would never even know she was doing it. 

They got back to the penthouse and Cat still had to lead Kara by the hand to get her to move. It wasn’t that Kara was transfixed like she was before, but simply nervous. Their relationship was so new, and Kara was worried that she’d do the wrong thing. She liked it when Cat took control though. She never thought that Cat would do the wrong thing. She had such total faith in Cat - she had always been her rock, even before they started dating. She was a source of strength for both Kara Danvers and Supergirl, and she didn’t know what either of them would do without her. 

Once they were in Cat’s apartment and the door was closed Cat immediately kicked her somewhat painful heels off and pushed Kara up against the door. Kara let herself lean lightly against the door, not wanting to put up any resistance to Cat but not wanting to break her door either. Cat cupped Kara’s face so that she could bring Kara’s head down to kiss her, but Kara decided that given their height difference, it would be easier for her to switch their positions, so Kara gently grabbed Cat’s ass and lifted her up until Cat had her legs around her waist, and then turned them and softly pressed Cat into the door, never breaking the kiss. They stayed there for a while, just enjoying this because it was so new and neither of them could really believe that they got to do this with each other.

Eventually Kara broke the kiss and said, “Baby, can I take you to bed?”

“God yes,” said Cat, with a desperation that she had never let anyone else see. She was sure that Kara wouldn’t use it against her though. Kara felt so safe, safer than anybody she’d ever met. There was a warm sense of comfort that had set in almost immediately being around the girl from the day that she’d hired her. She had never had that with anyone else, and she got the impression that she never would. 

Kara just kissed her again, even slower this time, as she was very carefully walking to Cat’s bedroom. It was somewhat hard to do with shut eyes, although Kara was very successfully taking tentative steps in the general direction that she thought she should be going. Cat didn’t really mind the slower pace. It wasn’t usually what she did, but she found that with Kara she liked it. She liked being able to feel the love radiating from Kara’s tender touches, and she definitely wanted Kara to feel safe, so if this was what Kara wanted, it worked for her.

* * *

Kara woke up to find a note:

If you won’t deal with Max, I will. 

Kara was furious. And terrified. And basically the entire range of negative emotions. Why would Cat do this? Okay, Kara had said that she was going to see if she could figure something out about Max and she hadn’t followed through ... yet. But that was only like a day ago. Surely the Queen of All Media understood that government bureaucracy took a lot of time? Then again, Cat had never been particularly patient. But this was a recklessness Kara had never seen, and she didn’t like it one bit. She didn’t particularly appreciate Cat’s timing either. It was Saturday. They had spent the night together. She didn’t really enjoy waking up to a note.

She pushed all of that out of her mind as she switched into her suit and flew towards Max’s building. She just needed to make sure that Cat was safe. Rao, what if she wasn’t? Kara didn’t know what she’d do without Cat. She’d find a way to bring her back somehow. She refused to lose anyone else.

Kara landed in front of Max’s building and listened for Cat’s heartbeat. After two years of being completely in love with her, Kara had that rhythm memorized. She was terrified that it wasn’t going to be there, but before panic really set in, she heard it. She walked toward the sound, ignoring the protests of two bodyguards outside of the building and slamming their heads into the wall with enough force to knock them to ground. She marched through the corridors until she realized the sound was down, and then she found the lift. She was going to wait for it to arrive but she didn’t want to, and there would probably be security, so she just ripped the doors away and jumped down the elevator shaft, floating downwards. Soon enough she could tell that she was on the right level, as she could hear Cat’s heart stronger than ever. She tore through the doors and sped towards the sound that she was so desperately trying to locate. She tried to listen for more, so that she knew what she was walking into.

“What do you think Cat? Which cat will win?” she heard Max’s voice say. His voice was eerily playful, like he was a telling a joke that only psychopaths found funny.

“Cat puns, Max? Really?” asked Cat in that voice that was trying to be calm, but Kara could hear the panic beneath it. After two years of being Cat’s assistant, Kara knew almost everything about the woman. She knew all the ways that her voice changed based on what she was feeling, and they were all subtle because Cat didn’t like to admit her emotions very often, and that voice was something that she had only heard when Carter’s school rang about something and Cat tried to stop herself from assuming the worst.

“Oh, come on, it’s just too good. Here’s another one. You’ll like it, trust me. Do you think you’ll be ... wait for it ... Cat food?” asked Max, laughing a little at his own joke. Cat can’t have been too amused though, because all that she could hear was the thudding of Cat’s heart increase. “Did you forget to laugh, Cat? I forget things sometimes too. For example, I may have forgotten to feed a certain kitty for ... well, I forget how long.”

She sped up and finally saw Cat. She was in a large enclosure with steel bars and a locked door. With a tiger, who was circling around Cat while she was trying to stay very still. Max was watching, outside the enclosure, with an amused grin. Kara knew he had hurt James in a cruel way, but she hadn’t thought that he would do this. She had been wrong. He needed to be stopped. Kara headed straight for Max although she wasn’t getting to him as fast as she would’ve thought. She registered Max’s laugh along with the Kryptonite, which had to be all around the room, draining her. She didn’t even hear his comment, just his annoying voice, as she got closer. She was too focused on Cat’s heart to hear anything else; she just needed to make sure Cat was still alive. 

Kara finally got close enough to Max that he started to say something, but she cut him off with an uppercut to the jaw. She was weakened, so it didn’t really do that much damage, but she had come prepared. She took a gun from a concealed pocket and barely registered Max’s shock as she fired two bullets into his head. She heard Cat’s heart speed up again so she turned to look at her, although the tiger hadn’t advanced any. Cat was just looking at her with wide eyes. Kara searched Max’s body for a key, which she found, and then quickly undid the lock on the door. The tiger stopped circling Cat and looked at her. It didn’t really look like a vicious predator, more like it was used to humans bringing it food and it was waiting for dinner time. Kara was sure that it was hungry enough to eat a human though, so she raised her gun. She shot the tiger in it’s back leg and it lay down in submission. She didn’t need to kill it; just incapacitate it so that it didn’t hurt Cat. 

She walked towards Cat who was standing still in fear, and seemed to be in total shock. She wasn’t moving or talking, and she just looked at Kara with her mouth wide open. Kara gently picked her up, carrying her out of the enclosure and out of Kryptonite range so that she could fly them out of there. Cat still wasn’t responsive, but she certainly wasn’t fighting Kara’s hold, so she thought that that was a good sign. She got to the lift shaft and tried to fly, but she was too drained. Then, all of a sudden, everything went black.

* * *

Kara woke up to see Cat sitting on a chair beside her, holding her hand and looking concerned. She looked around for a few seconds and registered that she was at the DEO, under the artificial sunlight of the lamps there. “ALEX!” yelled Cat, gripping Kara’s hand tighter while Kara tried to squeeze back, although admittedly it wasn’t the strongest contact she’d ever given, and Cat didn’t seem so reassured.

Alex came running in and Cat moved away from Kara so that Alex could hug her sister tightly. “What happened?” asked Kara after the hug had gone on for at least a minute. Alex pulled away reluctantly. She wanted to talk about what it was like to kill someone, what kind of impact that had, that she was here to talk with Kara any time because this was the kind of thing people needed to talk about. But Kara seemed confused about where she even was, so Alex decided to table that discussion for another time.

“Cat was in danger. You rescued her from Max. The Kryptonite Max exposed you to ... I mean, he obviously thought that you were going to come to rescue Cat, so he was prepared. It should have stopped you, Kara. To be honest, it should have killed you. It seems adrenaline prevailed though, because you and Cat are both okay. And dating. Which you didn’t tell me,” Alex added, because Kara was the worst at keeping secrets and she didn’t even know why she’d wanted to keep this one. Cat had called her via Kara’s phone after Kara had collapsed, frantic and saying things like ‘God, I can’t lose her, I just found her’. Alex knew from her desperation that Cat was in love with her, but when she stayed by Kara’s side she knew that they must be dating now, because everything that Kara had told her suggested to her that Cat had not wanted to admit her affection for Kara. Clearly, that had changed, so Kara must have admitted her feelings. And since they both had feelings for one another, they must be dating now. Alex’s suspicions were confirmed by Kara’s shrug. 

“It’s really new, Alex. I was obviously going to tell you,” sighed Kara, not in the mood for her sister right now. She wanted Cat right now. Her girlfriend almost died, and that terrified her, and she wanted to hold her close for a while. Alex seemed to sense that because she just mumbled something about ‘having things to do’ and left them alone. Cat also seemed to know that because she lay right beside Kara, letting Kara’s arms wrap around her tightly, although never too tight.

“Don’t ever do that again,” said Kara with more anger than she thought she had in her in that moment. She was still drained, but the memories were coming back, and she squeezed a little tighter, remembering how it felt to not even know if her girlfriend was even still alive. 

“I know that I scared you. I’m sorry,” said Cat, not one to apologize but the severity of Kara’s tone told her that Kara was very affected, and that was not something Cat ever wanted. She certainly hadn’t expected any of this to play out the way it did, and she had realized that she was somewhat out of her depth in this. She could stop hostile takeovers, but stopping criminals was an entirely different matter.

“You’re not the Superhero, Cat! You don’t go off to fight the villains; I do. I’ll always listen to your advice, but I want you to promise me that you will never try to do anything like this again,” said Kara, the anger dissipating somewhat and turning into desperation. She wasn’t even really mad. She had just been scared, and she wanted to convince Cat that she shouldn’t put her through that again.

“Kara, I know you’re not going to like this, but I don’t regret what I did. A very bad person is dead because I risked my life, and now a whole city full of people is safer. I’m sorry that I scared you, I’m sorry that you’re hurt, but I do not regret it, and I very may well do it again,” said Cat forcefully, refusing to abandon her principles. She hadn’t intended for Max to die, and until Alex found her sobbing over Kara’s limp body she had felt guilty, she had felt like she’d made a huge mistake. But then Alex told Cat about the women that Max had killed, and how he’d beaten up James, and a whole list of other things that was in his file. Cat knew that Max was willing to kill, and Kara mentioned that he had killed, but something in her brain switched when Alex showed Cat the photographs of the dead bodies, victims of Max’s twisted ‘heroic’ crusade. Cat had decided then that it wasn’t such a bad thing that he was gone. If legal means couldn’t stop him, somebody else had to.

“I was getting there! I didn’t need you to risk your life!” said Kara emphatically, because how was Cat not taking this seriously? Did Cat intend to almost die every time she thought that Kara was taking too long? 

“I think you did! You said it yourself, you care more about me. Well, that’s your prerogative. But I don’t actually want the special treatment, so if I have to throw myself into danger to get you to deal with something, then I will,” said Cat simply. Kara couldn’t believe this. How could she not care more about her girlfriend? 

“You want me to be a great hero? Is that it? Well maybe you haven’t considered the fact that if you died, I’d fall apart! Do you know who I’d save then? Nobody!” All the anger was gone by the last word. Kara’s voice broke at the thought of Cat dying and she just managed to get all the words out before she was crying into Cat’s shoulder, gripping her ever closer. Cat’s resolve broke at that, unable to see her girlfriend like this.

“Okay. I promise,” said Cat reluctantly. She wasn’t sure if she was necessarily going to keep that promise; should the need arise she was willing to put people’s lives above her girlfriend’s concern, but she would certainly consider it a great deal more before doing something similar. She wasn’t going to tell Kara that now though; right now she needed reassurance.

Kara relaxed somewhat at her words, and her sobs died down, but she stayed pressed against Cat, holding her as tight as she could without hurting her. “I can’t lose you, baby,” said Kara softly, hoping to convey to Cat just how much she meant to her.

“I’m not going anywhere, darling,” said Cat soothingly. Kara still felt pretty drained, so she closed her eyes and let the sun lamps and Cat’s presence make her feel better as she slowly drifted back to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I got some very encouraging comments and I decided to continue this. When will I update this? I don't know, it'll be ready when it's ready. How long will it be? I don't know, I'm making this up as I go along. Enjoy.

Kara woke up. It was dark, although there was a brightness coming from somewhere. She shut her eyes to get away from it, then sighed after a few seconds and opened her eyes again. It took her a a few moments to adjust to the light, but soon enough she was able to see the room in the DEO that she probably spent the most time in. She got her phone out to see that it was around 1 in the morning and then shut her eyes again, putting the phone back in her pocket. She could feel someone holding her, and she knew instinctively that it was Cat, because she was the only person that she had ever woken up with like this. The bright lights, which she slowly realized must be from the sun lamps, were shining through her closed eyes with a brightness she didn’t really appreciate at this time in the night, so she turned on her side to face Cat. She was still unable to escape the harsh lights coming from above her though, and she was too well rested to ignore them and go back to sleep. She wanted to get up, but she was worried that if she moved any more she’d wake Cat, so she decided to just lie there until Cat woke up. 

It felt strange being at the DEO this late. Everything was so quiet that it was almost eerie. But Cat was there, so everything still felt safe too. She couldn’t believe that Cat had stayed. Alex had been the only person to ever really come through for her, but she was family so it had always felt like she was just dong it out of obligation. But Cat had chosen her. Cat had chosen to stay. Kara smiled at that as she ran her hand through Cat’s hair for a moment. A decision she instantly regretted as soon as she felt Cat start to stir. She pulled her hand back but it was too late; Cat was looking at her with vague confusion when Kara reluctantly opened her eyes. “You’re up,” said Cat, her voice groggy from sleep.

“Sorry I woke you baby. Go back to sleep,” said Kara softly. She was sure that Cat would be mad that she woke her up, but she figured that if she could get her girlfriend back to sleep fast enough then maybe it would be okay and Cat wouldn’t even remember in the morning

“Are you all healed?” asked Cat tiredly. She was barely awake; her eyes were desperately trying to close without her permission but she wasn’t letting them. She looked over Kara’s body, eager to see if her girlfriend was actually okay. She certainly looked better than she had just hours ago.

“I think so,” said Kara, smiling. Kara loved it when Cat gave away that she was worried about Kara. She remembered when Cat had said that she had put out an amber alert when she went missing from her date with Adam. She didn’t even blink at the joke about her age because Cat had showed her that she cared if something happened to her, which was honestly more affection that she ever thought she’d get from Cat. Cat had even said the words ‘we were worried about you’ which Kara had replayed in her head about two hundred times. She had agonized over whether it meant that Cat did truly care about her, or if she was just concerned because of Adam’s feelings and not wanting to see him get hurt. She had ended up deciding that it was the latter, although she knew now that it was the former. 

“Okay, then, let’s go home,” said Cat, removing her arms from Kara so that she could get up. She slowly moved off of the sun bed and gently put her feet down to the ground, trying to look through the building cloaked in darkness for an exit. She eventually saw the outline of a door and hastily moved towards it. She turned after a few seconds when she realized that Kara was not following her.

“Baby it’s the middle of the night,” said Kara, confused. Kara had never left the DEO before she’d been told that she could. Alex was usually the one to give her the all clear, but sometimes it was some other doctor who treated her more like a science project than a person. Kara had only ever felt safe at the DEO because of Alex; Alex never cared that Kara was an alien, and she saw her as a person rather than an asset. If she thought about it, she supposed that she would probably rather go home, where it felt safe, than stay here.

“Yes, I figured that out from the pitch black room and nobody around,” said Cat in a matter of fact tone, not entirely sure what Kara’s issue was. Cat had never liked hospitals, and this felt distinctly like a hospital. She wanted Kara to be as comfortable as possible, not to be in some weirdly quiet building with not a pillow in sight. That was absolutely unacceptable for her girlfriend. 

“Don’t you want to go back to sleep?” asked Kara, still confused. She might prefer to go home, but she didn’t want to disrupt Cat’s life any more than she had. She was sure that Cat was not used to the same kind of hours that working two jobs brought, and she could hear the tiredness in Cat’s voice. Cat had been a lot gentler with her recently, but clearly that gentleness had a minimum hours of sleep requirement.

“Yes, Kara, I really do. So if you could stop asking me these silly questions and just pick me up and fly me home, that would be great,” said Cat, trying not be too aggressive with her girlfriend but it was the middle of the night, and she was too tired to be nice. She had had such an emotionally draining day; she needed to get back to bed.

“Oh, right, it’s probably not very comfortable here,” said Kara apologetically, swiftly walking over to her girlfriend and lifting her into her arms. She flew her back to her penthouse without going too fast; she didn’t think the sleeping city would appreciate her breaking the sound barrier. Kara landed on the balcony but didn’t put her down yet; she had super vision and Cat didn’t, and she didn’t want her girlfriend to fall flat on her face in the dark. She knew her way to Cat’s bedroom, so she quickly found her way there and tucked her girlfriend into bed. Kara moved to leave but Cat grabbed her arm.

“Stay,” she said, her voice still tired but a gentleness coming through finally. She couldn’t believe that she had woken up in the middle of the night and actually gotten up - which she hadn’t done in decades - so that her girlfriend could be in a more comfortable environment, and the girl wanted to leave. To go back to what? That awful neighborhood? Over her very nice bed with very warm sheets which her very cuddly girlfriend was in?

“I don’t want to wake you up accidentally baby,” said Kara softly, stroking her girlfriend’s hand on her arm softly in a bid to get her to move it. Kara knew that she was usually stuck awake after she woke up from being under the sun lamps for a while, but she had no intention of keeping Cat up.

“Kara, I don’t care. I sleep better with you here anyway,” Cat admitted tiredly, because everyone was more vulnerable this late at night. Kara instantly moved to crawl into bed next to Cat, because she’d do almost anything to make her girlfriend happy, and if this was better for Cat then she would make sure not to wake her. She put her arm around Cat as Cat curled into her and used her as a pillow, humming her approval at how nice Kara felt. Definitely better than that underground Black Ops place. Cat fell asleep within minutes.

* * *

Cat woke up in Kara’s arms, closing her eyes again and snuggling back into the warm presence. Kara noticed the shift but said nothing, not wanting to disturb her girlfriend’s sleep further. Cat could feel that Kara was awake due to her breathing, so she opened her eyes and sat up. “Hey Kara,” said Cat softly. 

“Hey baby,” said Kara gently. She had spent most of the night thinking about everything that had happened. She couldn’t get back to sleep, but it felt nice having Cat in her arms. Although it wasn’t enough to stop her mind from thinking about all the things that could have happened to Cat. It made her wonder if she was putting Cat in danger. Maybe she should end this. Maybe she should be the hero that Cat had always wanted her to be, and make the better choice. Maybe she should sacrifice having a romantic relationship to keep people safe.

“Are you hungry? Actually, that’s a dumb question. What do you feel like? I think there’s some high sugar cereals that Carter likes in the pantry,” suggested Cat, because she got the distinct impression that Kara was not a health food kind of person, and honestly her son and her girlfriend probably had the same tastes. 

“Sure,” said Kara somewhat dejectedly, getting up and walking to the kitchen. Cat immediately knew that something was wrong and followed Kara to the kitchen, noting that she had just gotten a spoon and was already eating the cereal out of the big cardboard container. 

“Darling, is there something you want to talk about?” asked Cat softly. Kara looked at her with sad eyes but shook her head. Cat sighed. Sometimes Kara really made things difficult. Admittedly, so did she. “Okay, how about you just answer yes or no to some questions? Are you sad about killing Max?” asked Cat gently. She wasn’t trying to provoke her girlfriend, but she needed to know when something was wrong. Besides, she was a reporter, she was rather good at asking people questions to get to the truth.

“No,” said Kara, almost offended at the question, scoffing down cereal. She had been so hungry for most of the night but she hadn’t wanted to move, in case she woke Cat again. This cereal was either really good or she was really hungry. Kara decided that it was probably both.

“Are you sad about hurting the cat?” asked Cat, because her girlfriend seemed like the kind of person who would feel guilty about shooting an animal, even to protect people.

“No,” said Kara, amused. She took down people all the time as Supergirl. She understood that it was necessary to hurt people sometimes. Or anything. And she was more than willing to hurt anything that was a threat to her girlfriend.

“Are you sad about me almost getting hurt?” asked Cat. Kara didn’t respond; she just shoved more cereal down her throat. Cat decided that must be it then, since she’d said no to everything else. “Kara, I knew what I was signing up for when I asked you out. I have seen super hero movies. The love interest always gets kidnapped,” said Cat, vaguely annoyed as she remembered all the things that she had seen with the annoying ‘damsel in distress’ trope. And even more annoyingly, she had lived that trope. Did it make it better that she was saved by a woman and not a man? Maybe, but she was still annoyed.

“Yeah, but then the hero saves them,” said Kara pointedly. 

“You did save me, darling,” said Cat, confused. Kara had almost died to save her, and Cat had come away completely unscathed. How could Kara think that she hadn’t done enough?

“Yeah, but what if I hadn’t have?” asked Kara, who looked like she was about to cry. All that Kara could think about is what would have happened if she would have woken up later. Just an hour later and she was sure that Cat would have been dead. It was dumb luck that Cat was still alive. That was not a comforting thought.

“Darling, I don’t know if you want to hear this, but everyone dies. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, but I’m still going to go outside and risk it. Yes, there is a certain amount of extra danger that being with you brings, but I’d rather live my life the way that I want, rather than give into fear of an inevitable event,” said Cat calmly, although she was a little on edge about the idea of Kara leaving her. She really didn’t want that to happen. Especially out of some silly idea of heroism. 

“Maybe I don’t want that, has that occurred to you? Maybe I’d rather that you were safe,” said Kara, still just holding back tears. The thought of leaving Cat destroyed her. But the thought of Cat dying because of her was unimaginable.

“Than what? Happy? Because that’s the choice you’d be making. And quite frankly, I really wouldn’t appreciate it, and if you respect me as a person you’ll respect my decision,” said Cat with a mildly agitated tone, since she had never been a fan of the idea that somebody should make a choice for somebody else, even if they thought that they’d be happier long-term. People had freedom; it was a core value that as a journalist she held very dear. If someone wanted to make a decision that didn’t hurt anybody else then they had the right to. It’s their life. And you might think that you’re saving them and making their life better, but really, who are you to decide what ‘better’ is for them? 

“I ... of course I respect you. And your decisions. But you have told me over and over again that I should think about whether or not I want to be in this relationship because of the hardships it will bring me. Well, now I’m telling you that you should think about it,” said Kara slowly, noting the agitation in Cat’s voice and not wanting to seem like she was taking Cat’s freedom of choice away. She looked less like she was going to cry now, partly because her body was starting to process the high sugar food and she was more emotionally stable now that she wasn’t starving, and partly because Cat really didn’t seem to want to leave.

“Well, okay. Hmm. I’ve thought about it. I think you’re stuck with me. Look, do you have any idea how terrifying it is every time you leave the office? I know that you’re going to put yourself in danger. I know that you might not come back. Every day after I knew that you were Supergirl was a terrifying experience, because I knew that the woman that I was in love with could be dead, and the only indication I’d ever have is that you wouldn’t come back to work in the morning. So I know how you feel, Kara; don’t think I don’t. But day after day you kept greeting me with a latte, so after a while I stopped worrying so much and decided that it was probably going to be okay. You can’t let fear control you. You can’t let it stop you from having the things that make you happy,” said Cat, almost amused at the idea of ever leaving Kara. Emphasis on almost. She would certainly not be amused if Kara left her. She was already far more attached to Kara after their short time together than to any of her previous partners.

“Okay, baby, answer me this though. What if it’s Carter?” asked Kara. Cat faltered on that. He was her baby, he always would be. If anything happened to him, she didn’t know what she’d do. And putting him in slightly more danger, in any way, certainly did not appeal to her. But she loved Kara, and she couldn’t let her go either. She’d gotten too attached to Kara a long time ago, and it was too late to go back now.

“Look, if that happens, we’ll deal with it. What if someone decides to hold him hostage for my money? Should I give away all my money preemptively to protect him? Then I suppose we’d have to live in an area with higher crime and his chances of getting shot on the street would go up. As much as I would like to think otherwise, I can’t protect him from everything. Besides, I know that you’ll do everything in your power to protect him. He’s probably better off with you watching out for him, really,” said Cat fondly, remembering when Kara saved her precious boy on the train. He still talked about how nice Supergirl was to him that day. Cat briefly wondered how he was going to react to his mother dating his hero. Maybe he’d finally think that she was cool.

“You can’t know that,” said Kara, shaking her head. She had never wanted to bring anybody pain, although she had always been terrified of hurting someone. Humans were so fragile. She had learned that with her sister. And even though Alex had been incredibly forgiving, Kara never forgave herself.

“You know, for somebody who gave me a whole speech on how my expectations were too high for Supergirl, you have some pretty ridiculous standards yourself. Sure, I don’t know. Nobody knows. Including you. But I had enemies long before I met you, Kara, and if you leave me, I’ll still have enemies, but I won’t have you to protect me from them. Overall, you probably help me more than hurt me,” said Cat, remembering all the times that Kara had saved her.

“Okay, baby. Okay,” said Kara, defeated. She wondered how Cat managed to calm hours worth of paranoia in mere minutes, but she supposed that Cat was just that good with words. She was a rather good journalist, after all. 

“Good. Now that you’ve decided that you’re not leaving me, what do you want to do today?” asked Cat, her tone significantly more playful now that Kara didn’t seem like she was going to break her heart.

“Well ... usually I use my free time to be Supergirl. And, honestly, I have kind of been slacking off in that department recently. So I really should go help people,” said Kara slowly, not wanting to upset her girlfriend.

“Okay, good, fine, I don’t need your company every second of my day, Kara. Go be a hero,” said Cat nonchalantly. Of course she had wanted to spend some time with Kara, but she understood that Kara had a job. Two jobs, in fact. She didn’t expect Kara to give up being Supergirl for her. 

“Okay, cool. I ... I guess I’ll see you at work tomorrow. I love you,” said Kara. Cat was somewhat taken aback at the idea that apparently Kara was going to spend all day being a hero and leave absolutely no time for her. But she knew that Kara had been spending a lot of time with her recently, so on balance it really wasn’t a big deal. At least that’s what she told herself. She recovered quickly.

“Yes, I love you too Kara,” said Cat dismissively. Kara beamed at that. She never got tired of hearing those words come out of Cat’s mouth. She kissed Cat goodbye quickly and then flew out of Cat’s balcony doors at super speed so that nobody could see her as Kara Danvers, and went to her apartment to get her Supergirl suit. When she arrived in her apartment, Alex was there watching TV on her couch. 

“Hey Alex,” said Kara, somewhat suspiciously. What was Alex doing here? Was there bad news? 

“Kara! You’re finally here!” said Alex, turning off the TV. She motioned for Kara to sit down beside her and Kara obliged cautiously. 

“Is something wrong?” asked Kara, concerned. Alex usually looked incredibly calm, but now she looked like she had barely slept.

“Is something wrong? Kara, you killed someone! And you’re dating Cat! I think that we should talk,” said Alex, bewildered. Alex was tired but she had stayed awake to have this very important conversation with Kara. Alex had spent most of the night cleaning up Kara’s mess. Someone would file a missing persons report soon enough, but nobody would ever find out what happened. Alex had spent all night making sure that not a trace of evidence was left that would implicate her sister.

“What is so weird about me dating Cat?” asked Kara, opting to start with the less lethal topic. Alex sighed. Of course that was what Kara wanted to start with.

“Well, Kara, she’s your boss. Like, the CEO of the whole company. Like, she could make it so that you never worked again,” started Alex, because her sister could really be rather naive sometimes. People trying to take advantage of their young employees was hardly unheard of, but somehow Kara didn’t seem to have gotten the memo.

“She wouldn’t do that, Alex. She loves me. I love her,” said Kara dismissively. She knew that Cat would never hurt her. If that was Alex’s only problem, then there wasn’t anything to worry about.

“People love you until they don’t Kara. They’ll never hurt you until they do. And Cat has hurt you. Repeatedly. You’ve told me about it. Don’t tell me that she’s not capable of it,” said Alex, concerned about her sister. Kara had always spoken so fondly of Cat and Alex had never really understood why until yesterday. She was annoyed at herself that she’d missed it, really. It was so obvious in hindsight. Kara seemed to be blinded by love, and Alex was ready to give her a wake up call.

“She pushed me away because she didn’t think that I felt the same. But now that she knows that I do, it’s different,” explained Kara. If Cat treated her the same as she had a week ago, Kara would not still be in this relationship. But Cat was different. And Kara trusted her.

“Ah, yes, it’s different now. You’re together. She’s happy. Has it occurred to you that that might change at some point? You don’t think that she’d ever push you away again?” pushed Alex. Kara always saw the best in people, and always wanted to believe that any positive sign was an indication that they had changed for good, but Alex was far more realistic.

“Look, we might break up one day. And she’d probably downplay her feelings about it because that’s just what she does. But she wouldn’t hurt me. She’d probably get me a better job,” said Kara, amused. She could understand why Alex was worried, but Kara knew that Cat wouldn’t repeat her past mistakes. 

“You say that now based on the way that she’s acting now. People change based on who they’re with and how they feel about that person. I’m sure she’s very supportive now. But you don’t know what she’ll be like in a year’s time. You don’t know what she’d be like if she resented you, or felt heartbroken because of you, or felt negatively because of any of the million ways that this could go wrong,” said Alex, frustrated, because Kara was just so annoyingly optimistic sometimes. And of course Alex had to be her big strong protector and deal with the bad things in the real word. She had always dealt with Kara’s bullies so that Kara didn’t have to, but she knew that she couldn’t really protect Kara from Cat Grant. 

“I know her. I’ve known her for two years. This is real,” said Kara earnestly, imploring Alex to understand.

“I’m not saying that it’s not real, Kara. In fact, I’m saying that this is very real. And real relationships involve real feelings, and people can do bad things when they’re feelings get hurt. And you know Cat, so you know that she lashes out when she’s upset,” said Alex, trying to stay calm because yelling at her sister wouldn’t accomplish anything. 

“Not when she’s in an intimate relationship with the person! She’s not like that with Carter. She’s not like that with me,” said Kara, unable to not be defensive when talking about Cat. She knew that Alex was just looking out for her, but Kara wouldn’t tolerate her talking about her girlfriend like that.

“Not now! How does she feel about her ex-husband? Because that’s a better indication of what she’d be like than her son,” said Alex, trying to get Kara to understand that people can drastically change their attitudes to people once their not with them.

“I mean ... he was awful though,” said Kara hesitantly, because she knew it sounded weak, but it was true.

“Well, Kara, maybe that’s what she’ll say about you one day,” pointed out Alex.

“Alex, I know that she won’t. If you knew her, you’d think differently,” said Kara desperately, because what Alex was saying made complete sense, but she just knew that it wasn’t true.

“Okay, then, I want to sit down with her. We should have dinner sometime. I’m sure she has a very busy schedule, but I’m sure that we can work something out,” suggested Alex. She really didn’t think that meeting Cat would change her mind, which was really the whole point of the exercise. If Kara’s argument rested on getting to know Cat, she could get to know Cat. And then tell Kara how wrong Cat was for her.

“I mean ... sure, I guess,” said Kara reluctantly. She didn’t really want to do it, but she wanted Alex to stop criticizing Cat.

“Great. So back to you killing somebody. How do you feel?” asked Alex, not being deterred by Kara’s obvious desire to avoid the topic. Did Kara really think that she would forget about it if she talked about Cat enough? Maybe, if the surprised look on Kara’s face was anything to go by. She recovered quickly though.

“I don’t know if you want to hear this Alex, but I don’t really care. He was awful. People are better off without him,” said Kara bluntly. She had killed him to save Cat, and the truth is that she’d kill a lot of people to save Cat. She knew that her girlfriend would tell her that that was wrong, but it was true. She wasn’t going to say that to Alex though, especially given their previous conversation.

“Kara, I don’t know if you want to hear this, but I’m going to ask you about this in a few months. Because after you’ve gotten a little emotional distance from the circumstances that led you to that decision, I think this is going to hit you. And if you want to talk about it before then, just call me. I’m always here for you,” said Alex sympathetically. She didn’t want to push this particular issue, but she needed Kara to know that she was here for her.

“I know, Alex. I love you. But I don’t see that happening,” said Kara gratefully, because she really did appreciate the sentiment, but she really didn’t see herself suddenly developing remorse for stopping a killer who targeted completely innocent people.

“I know you don’t, but maybe just trust somebody who’s been through it. And I love you too, sis,” said Alex gently.

“Okay, I’m going to go be Supergirl now. Are we good?” asked Kara, not wanting to leave if Alex had any more life advice for her. Well, she kind of did, but she wasn’t going to.

“Yeah, we’re good,” said Alex. For now, she added in her head. She wasn’t sure that Kara had actually heard a word she’d said, but she would just have to keep bringing it up at a later date until it sunk in, she supposed.

“Okay, good,” said Kara eagerly. She quickly changed into her Supergirl suit and flew out the window, ready to save the city.

* * *

The next day Kara went into Cat’s office as soon as she arrived. “Hey baby,” said Kara lovingly. She still couldn’t really believe that she was with Cat. That Cat let her call her baby. That Cat loved her back. It was incredible. And what was more incredible is that she really thought that it was going to last. She wasn’t afraid to tell Cat exactly how much she loved her because she was sure that Cat would never break her heart.

“Hey Kara,” replied Cat gently, but she didn’t let the same amount of affection come through her voice as Kara had. She had missed her girlfriend. She hadn’t thought that one day was that big of a deal, but alone in her apartment without Carter or Kara felt surprisingly isolating. She let so few people in that when those people weren’t there it was hard to connect with anybody else. She had decided to go to some charity event at the last minute mostly out of boredom. She had written them a sizable donation to compensate for her late RSVP, so really, it had worked out, both for her and the sick kids. She had no intention of telling Kara any of that though. She still wasn’t ready to let all her walls down around Kara, although she really did want to.

“So, my sister wants us to have dinner sometime ... soon,” said Kara, jumping right in, worried that if she didn’t bring it up with Cat immediately that Alex would march over here herself. And she did not want that.

“Oh, okay. I suppose we could do it tonight,” said Cat nonchalantly. She didn’t really have any feelings about having dinner with Kara’s sister, but spending some more time with Kara certainly appealed. And a part of her liked that Kara wanted her to meet her family. It meant that this was serious, and she definitely wanted it to be serious.

“Um, yeah, great,” said Kara. She pulled out her phone and texted Alex. She didn’t want to wait or Alex might terrorize Cat’s new assistant with some demanding phone calls. And she knew that being Cat’s assistant was normally challenging enough.

Kara: Cat’s good to have dinner tonight.

Alex: Good. Her place?

“Um, Alex wants to know if it can be at your place?” asked Kara cautiously. She wasn’t really sure how much of Cat’s home she was allowed to be in. Obviously Cat invited her back there sometimes, but outside of an explicit invitation, did Cat want her there?

“Definitely,” said Cat flatly. She had no plans to ever return to Kara’s neighborhood. Nor eat whatever passed for good food to Kara. Cat wondered if Alex had the same tastes as her sister. She had met Alex rather briefly, and she had been rather preoccupied at the time, but she had noticed Alex’s muscles and she really couldn’t imagine her eating the same way Kara did.

Kara: Yep.

Alex: OK. 6?

“Six work for you?” asked Kara. Honestly she was hoping that Cat would say no and then maybe Alex couldn’t make it and then they could just call this whole thing off.

“Sure,” shrugged Cat. Kara sighed.

Kara: K.

Alex: See you then.

“You know, you millennials really need to learn to put your phones down once in a while,” joked Cat as she noted that Kara had been staring at her phone for about a minute. Kara’s gaze sharply turned to Cat. The first thing that ran through her mind was that she wasn’t really a millennial. Millennials were born after 2000, and given that it was 2016, that meant that either Cat actually thought that she was 15 or under, in which case Cat was in breach of child labor laws, or she was just generalizing the younger demographic as ‘millennial’. Although, Kara wouldn’t really know where to put herself in the generational categories. She could be classed as a Baby Boomer, if she counted the time when she was frozen. She could be classed as Gen Y, given her age not counting being frozen. She arrived on Earth when she was a young teenager, so in a way she had been on Earth for the first time with the millennials. For that reason, and because it was just stupidly complex, she decided to accept the label and move on to her other issues.

“You know what? I am sick of the ‘I hate millennials’ comments. Our generation isn’t voting for Donald Trump. Our generation isn’t obsessed with anti-immigration policies which is just plain racism. Your generation has decided that the problems of the entire country are down to people who aren’t born here, or let’s be real, just aren’t white. I mean, you’re targeting Latinos, not Canadians. And that’s stupid. Why does where you’re born matter? Why does your skin color matter? Why does religion matter? And more importantly, doesn’t your generation remember the last guy who was obsessed with those three factors? Mass atrocities, world war, millions dead, ringing a bell?” started Kara, in the most aggressive tone that Cat had ever heard the girl use. Were they fighting now? Cat did not want to be fighting.

“Kara, I ...” Cat started softly but Kara just talked right over her in an even angrier tone and Cat shut her mouth immediately.

“But my generation is the problem? Because we want to communicate with the people we love more frequently, using devices that you just can’t figure out, because apparently pushing a button is too difficult for you? You think that everyone in my generation got a trophy from parents too scared to bruise our ego? My generation got parents who were too busy to care. My generation grew up making friends on the internet because we were lonely at home. My generation got subjected to rapidly increasing education standards to the point where nothing about school is useful past primary school, but everybody is desperately trying to learn it because university entry is so competitive. Because my generation has to go to university to get any sort of substantially paying job, or non-substantially paying job, really. And if by some miracle, my generation could afford to go to university, then they are quite probably the most soul destroying years of our lives because somebody decided that we needed continual assessment over sleep. And, if we manage to get through all that, then we get to go into the job market. And if we get lucky enough to get a job in the field that we got our degree in, instead of earning minimum wage, despite the fact that nobody can actually live off that, then we get to fetch lattes for two years. And even then we’re probably still living with our parents and we just have to hope that they’re decent people, and not abusive, or under the impression that who we are is a sin,” said Kara, each statement getting slightly angrier. Cat waited for a few seconds before she started speaking, wanting to make sure that Kara was done.

“O-kay ... that was different,” said Cat, mostly just in shock. Kara calmed down quickly as she realized that she had said all that out loud. She had mostly just been talking to herself. She was just so comfortable around Cat now that she forgot to filter things sometimes.

“I’m sick of it, Cat. I don’t want to hear it. I know there’s an age difference here, and I’m sure that there are going to be issues with that, but I don’t deserve criticisms that aren’t true. I can put a phone down if I want to. I happen to like the people who have my number, and I want to talk to them. Sometimes they need my help, sometimes it’s just good to check in with people. I like connecting with them, that’s why I gave them a way to connect with me. Your generation took photos too, so I’m really not sure why you all criticize us taking selfies so much,” started Kara more calmly.

“Well, you take quite a lot,” said Cat softly, not trying to be argumentative, but wanting Kara to see where she was coming from.

“Well, why not? You had more expensive equipment and less storage space; that’s why you took less photos. And I’m sick of hearing that we’re too sensitive. You’re bigoted and we’re not putting up with it. And you know what, you all did the same thing. Except you were fighting battles that we don’t need to fight, because you won them, but now we’re pushing ahead. And maybe this is all good enough for you, but we know that people deserve better,” said Kara, anger rising in her voice again, although it was more controlled this time. Cat waited for a little bit before she started speaking, not wanting Kara to interrupt her.

“Okay, well, since you’re opposed to criticisms that aren’t fair, I can be too, right?” Cat asked rhetorically, although Kara nodded. Cat found that somewhat endearing, although she wasn’t going to bring that up right now. “Well, I don’t support Trump any more than you do and I assure you that we will both be going out to vote - maybe together - and we will both be voting for Hilary to try to stop that horrible racist from winning the presidency. I didn’t design the education system, and quite frankly, I don’t know what you want me to do about that. I also don’t control the job market, nor the minimum wage. I’m glad you oppose bigotry Kara, I do too. And to be really honest, I do a lot more about it than you do. I make sure we have affirmative action hiring so that we actually make a difference, instead of just talking nice words. I admit, I think you take an excessive amount of pictures. I don’t know what you’re going to do with them all. I don’t see the point. But, whatever makes you happy,” finished Cat, not entirely sure she’d addressed all the points in Kara’s rather long speech but she thought that she’d gotten enough.

“I wasn’t really criticizing you specifically when I was talking about that stuff,” said Kara, the anger in her voice all gone now. She wasn’t mad at Cat. She’d never really been mad at Cat. She might not have appreciated Cat’s comments, but it was mostly that she’d heard a lot of other people say the same things, although she was far too scared to tell them how she felt. Cat, however, made her feel safe enough to bring it up.

“Oh, you were just generalizing then? Which I assume I can’t do with you though?” asked Cat, slightly more aggressively than she meant to.

“I think the point of talking about large groups is to generalize. Generally my generation votes left; obviously some will vote for Donald Trump, but not a lot. Your generation, on the other hand, will significantly vote for him. And I am saying that your generation, and you specifically, criticize my generation quite a bit, and I find it rather annoying, given the horrific decisions your generation seems to have made, as opposed to my generation’s rather simple desire to live in a world with affordable access to necessary services and to just be happy,” said Kara, now trying to articulate her point calmly.

“Okay, well, there’s kind of a flaw in your argument here, though. You’re not really comparing your generation to mine. You’re comparing the older demographic to the younger demographic. I hate to break this to you darling, but your generation is going to grow up and end up leaning rather heavily to the right wing. Your generation will probably go through an easier education system than the one that the next generation will go through. Your generation will experience a different job market - maybe better, maybe worse - to the next generation. Your generation will criticize the generations that come after it just like we have. Your generation can’t really be compared to mine until you’re in the same position that we are now. Because I don’t know if you believe this, but I don’t think that your generation is actually going to change as much as you think it will. Every generation grows up thinking that they’re going to stop the wars, stop the hatred, bring about all this change ... but then they grow up and they start wars and they perpetuate hatred. And, at the end of the day, shouldn’t we really be judged for our own actions rather than those of others in our age group? So, to be honest Kara, I don’t really want to hear it either,” said Cat calmly, not really wanting to argue with her girlfriend, but finding it hard not to refute the statements that Kara was making. She had watched her generation say all the things that Kara’s did, and she knew that they would end up going the same way. She liked to think that Kara wouldn’t fall to the hatred though, just like she hadn’t. 

“You won’t if I won’t,” said Kara softly. She still wasn’t backing down from the fact that she didn’t want her girlfriend to make those stupid comments about her generation any more. She hadn’t had the guts to tell her boss that she didn’t like it, even though it bothered her then, but she felt confident that her girlfriend would listen to her.

“Okay, deal,” conceded Cat. She hadn’t realized that Kara cared so much, otherwise she wouldn’t have said it. Honestly, she mostly constantly brought up Kara’s generation to remind herself how young the girl was. “I love you, Kara, and I’m glad that you told me when I did something that bothered you. But you could maybe do it in a less rant-like form next time?” asked Cat, mostly amused because she really hadn’t imagined Kara being so assertive. 

“Yeah, baby, I’m sorry. I love you too. I just ... I wish that I was living in a time with affordable housing and real job security, that’s all. I worry about it, you know?” asked Kara rhetorically, although Cat felt compelled to answer.

“No, I didn’t, because you’ve never brought it up. For the record, I wish I hadn’t lived through a time where you couldn’t even get a bank account without a husband, so, there are advantages to your situation now. Also, you do realize I’m rich? All housing is affordable to me ... or us. And if you lose your job it’s not really an issue because I can provide for you,” said Cat, vaguely wondering when she had become willing to financially support Kara after a week of dating. Probably the first moment. She’d been in love with her for so long, how could she not want to give her everything? Besides, Kara was the first person she’d ever met that she was sure wasn’t after her money. 

“I mean ... I don’t expect you to pay my bills,” said Kara, half-laughing, because she really hadn’t expected that. Cat was so guarded, and she had always expected Cat to be cautious about money. She was sure that other people had been after Cat’s money, and that she’d naturally be rather protective of it. 

“Well, I would, okay? If you needed me to. If you wanted me to. So you don’t have to worry about financial things,” said Cat nonchalantly, as if the fortune she had spent most of her life amassing didn’t mean that much to her. Although the truth was that it did mean nothing to her compared to Kara.

“I ... I mean, that only really works if we’re together ... like, forever. I kind of have to factor in you leaving me to my financial plan,” mumbled Kara. She didn’t really want to bring up Cat leaving, because she wasn’t trying to seem insecure, but she had to be honest with Cat.

“Well, don’t,” said Cat, sighing, because she didn’t really want to admit these things, but Kara was worried about something that she could fix, and she didn’t want Kara to worry. 

“That’s not really how good financial planning works,” said Kara awkwardly, because how could Cat really expect her to not prepare for her super rich girlfriend to leave her? She couldn’t actually rely on the strength of a week long relationship with a millionaire. Or billionaire? Kara didn’t actually know how much Cat made. She never intended to ask. It didn’t matter.

“Kara, maybe I haven’t made this clear enough for you. As you have pointed out, there is an age difference between us. I had well and truly given up on love a long time ago. Carter was my world once he was born, and no other relationship interested me. Until you. And that took a few Superhero saves and years of attraction building into love which I still tried to repress. So I can basically guarantee you that you’re it for me. And ... I mean, I don’t know how relationships worked on Krypton ...” started Cat.

“Baby, if we were on Krypton, we would’ve been married a week ago,” said Kara without really thinking, and then she saw Cat’s face. “I mean, I know we’re not married, I don’t think that we’re married, obviously you’re not ready for that, and I know that it’s different here ...” Kara rambled.

“Yes, Kara, I’ve got it. Stop looking so panicked. I mean ... it’s good, really. Because what I’m trying to say is ... I know it might seem fast to some people, but this has been building for so long, and we already really know each other, and we already love each other, so ... you can assume I’ll stick around. If you want me to. And, I mean, even if you broke up with me I’d still want what’s best for you. I’ll always make sure you’re employed. I ... anyway, don’t you have a job to do?” asked Cat, deciding that this was far more vulnerable than she meant to get and she needed some distance. It hadn’t even been a week yet. She needed to give this a little more time before she was willing to admit that she would always make sure that Kara was looked after; she’d even stomach a call to Lois if it got Kara the job that she wanted.

“Sure baby. I’m glad this is permanent for you. It’s permanent for me too. I love you,” said Kara adoringly. She had no idea that Cat was so invested in this relationship. Cat was always so guarded, and Kara always tended to believe that that meant that Cat didn’t care, although she was usually wrong. 

“Yes, I love you too Kara,” said Cat dismissively, returning to her computer. She hated that she was so attached to Kara. She had never wanted to be. She had never wanted to be this attached to anybody, really. She didn’t want her heart to be smashed, and she just knew that if Kara left her that that is exactly what would happen. She wondered if there was really any point in trying to keep just a little bit of distance. Would the heartbreak with her keeping her distance really feel any different to the heartbreak that she would feel if she was completely open? She wasn’t sure any more. But this had been her coping strategy for so long, she didn’t really know how to let it go completely. She wanted to try though. She wanted to be the best girlfriend possible for Kara. Even if it terrified her.

Kara had walked up to her desk while she had been lost in thought. Cat was going to ask Kara what she wanted when Kara answered that question by leaning down to kiss her. Cat was always better at expressing her affection physically rather than using words, so she tried to demonstrate just how much Kara meant to her with ever soft swipe of her tongue. Eventually Kara pulled away and Cat hesitantly moved back, opening her eyes. “I love you baby,” said Kara sincerely, looking into Cat’s eyes with pure adoration that Cat didn’t really think she deserved.

“I love you too. So much,” said Cat earnestly, holding Kara’s gaze even though it felt more vulnerable. Kara just smiled brightly and went back to her office, and Cat wondered if Kara knew just how completely she could destroy her.

* * *

Cat turned up at Kara’s office at 4 and told her that they were going home now. Cat mentioned something about giving Kara’s sister a real meal and not one that took 2 minutes to prepare. Kara was going to say something about Alex quite enjoying food that took 2 minutes to cook, but Cat gave her a look that told her that she didn’t want to hear it. So Kara just shut her mouth and decided that if Cat wanted to cook for two hours, she was more than welcome to. 

Alex arrived only ten minutes late, which she was rather proud about given her tendency to be rather late given her job, with a bottle of wine which had about two glass fulls of liquid missing. Kara said nothing, although she was a little worried about how forceful Alex was going to be due to the inebriation. “It’s very nice to meet you, Alex,” said Cat suddenly, appearing from the kitchen. She shook Alex’s hand, which felt a little silly to Alex, but she rolled with it. They had met before, but it was under circumstances that Cat would much rather forget, so she had decided to try to start anew. 

“Yeah, so I brought wine,” said Alex after standing their silently for a few seconds. She was sure that Cat would not be drinking her $15 wine and honestly that was quite alright with her. More for her.

“Great. Just sit down and I’ll serve dinner,” said Cat, taking the bottle and walking back to the kitchen. She wondered for a second if charities accepted cheap alcohol. She shook her head and put the wine on the dining table, positive that Alex would enjoy it anyway.

“Just ... please be nice,” said Kara after Cat was out of earshot.

“I’m always nice,” said Alex, vaguely offended. 

“Okay ... be extra nice. Please. I love her, Alex. And I really don’t want her to feel unwelcome with my family,” said Kara, trying to get Alex to understand that Cat was not a hostile force that required a tactical assault.

“Kara ... I want to protect you. From everyone. And I want to make sure that she won’t hurt you,” said Alex. Kara opened her mouth but didn’t get the chance to speak.

“Dinner’s ready!” called Cat as Alex marched into the dining room. Kara followed her quickly, not wanting to leave her sister alone with her girlfriend for a single second. 

“So,” said Alex once she’d sat down and had taken one rather small bite of food. Kara was already nervous. “Have you dated any of your other employees?” asked Alex bluntly, not interested in small talk in the slightest.

“No, I haven’t,” said Cat. She was going to say more but Alex cut her off.

“Do you usually date younger?” asked Alex. Kara was already mortified. Cat just smiled. She appreciated Alex getting to the point. And she knew that Alex’s concerns weren’t so unreasonable. If Carter came home at 24 and told her about his new girlfriend twice his age who was also his boss, she’d have some tough questions for the woman too.

“Yes, although Kara’s definitely the youngest, relative to my age, that I’ve ever dated,” said Cat, who was keeping her answers brief, realizing that Alex just wanted direct answers.

“And why do you think that is? That you go younger, I mean. You’re already a powerful CEO; do you really need another power trip?” asked Alex between mouthfuls of food. She might have doubts about the woman as a girlfriend for Kara, but damn, the woman could cook.

“People like what they like Alex. There’s no deep psychological reason. It’s just ... genetic, I suppose. Also, we both know that Kara could destroy me in seconds if she wanted to. I’m not taking advantage of her. She’s not under any pressure to stay with me,” said Cat, trying to get Alex to see that she wasn’t hurting Kara.

“Says you,” said Alex disbelievingly.

“Says me, Alex,” said Kara defensively. Alex decided to let that point drop for the moment.

“Can you promise me that you’ll never expose her secret identity nor anything related to it?” asked Alex. Cat being a journalist only complicated matters further. Kara needed to have somebody that she could trust with all the details of her life without worrying about what would become public knowledge.

“Absolutely,” said Cat. She was getting a little tired of this entire family seeming to think that she was going to expose Kara.

“Even if it was in the national interest?” pressed Alex. She knew that Cat was a real journalist; she had serious doubts that Cat would just ignore what she saw as journalistic ethics.

“Look, I don’t know what you’re looking for. I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize her safety, and obviously anything that would be worth printing would in some way do that, so no, I would never do it,” said Cat firmly. She might have told Kara that she wanted her to put the city before her girlfriend, but the truth is that Cat would do the same as Kara. 

“Do you intend to marry her one day?” asked Alex as Kara almost choked on her food. Alex wanted to know if Kara was just a fling to her. Kara took a glass of Alex’s wine just to get the food down her throat.

“Well, it’s probable,” said Cat, trying to be honest but yet still a little non-committal. Kara beamed at Cat’s declaration that this was definitely long-term for her; she knew Cat wouldn’t say it if it wasn’t true, given her propensity to downplay her feelings. 

“Kara doesn’t have a birth certificate. Nor American citizenship,” said Alex, wondering if Cat was just saying yes because she knew that she couldn’t be held to it.

“We can forge any documents that we need. I know people,” said Cat dismissively.

“Would you make her sign a prenup?” asked Alex. It wasn’t really unreasonable to expect Kara to sign one given how much Cat owned and how little Kara owned, but she wanted her sister to understand that Cat would hold on to her finances.

“No,” sighed Cat. Alex was taken aback by that.

“So if you got divorced, you’d just give her 50% of your empire?” asked Alex disbelievingly.

“Yes,” said Cat. She meant it when she said she’d always take care of Kara. Regardless of whether Kara was with her or not, Cat knew that she would always love Kara and so she was more than willing to give her a ridiculous amount of money to make her life easier. It’s not like Cat was going to run out of money if they split it anyway.

“And shared custody of Carter?” asked Alex, knowing from one of her school friends just how ugly child custody hearings could get.

“If he wanted that,” said Cat calmly. She would fight for whatever Carter wanted, in general and on that matter. 

“The food is great,” Kara chimed in, with an apologetic look to Cat. 

“Thank you, Kara,” said Cat, smiling at her girlfriend.

“Would you expect Kara to cook for you?” asked Alex, switching the topic to food since Kara brought it up.

“No, I do not expect her to be some kind of housewife, and honestly, I don’t really think those silly ideas exist in same-gender relationships,” said Cat tiredly. If this was Alex’s most pressing concern at this point, Cat thought she might have really won her over.

“So you’re happy to bring home the money while she does whatever she wants?” asked Alex. Ah, back to money, thought Cat. 

“More or less,” sighed Cat.

“Define less,” pressed Alex. She had no tolerance for vague answers.

“Well, I wouldn’t really appreciate if she just sat at home and did absolutely nothing, but I don’t think she’d do that, so it doesn’t really matter,” said Cat, knowing how hard Kara worked for her and the whole city.

“Kara eats a lot so ...” Alex started.

“I’m rich. I can afford the food bill,” answered Cat preemptively. 

Kara said something under her breath that sounded angry. “What was that, Kara?” asked Cat gently.

“You sound like my parents,” muttered Kara again, slightly louder.

“What does that mean exactly?” asked Alex, her tone softer than Cat had heard all night. Cat was glad that Alex could still be soft with Kara though.

“When my parents picked my future spouse they negotiated with various families. They were trying to get the best deal for me, I guess. I wasn’t supposed to be there but I snuck in anyway. I was young. I was curious. I should have stayed home,” said Kara, mostly talking to herself and getting lost in the memory.

“Why?” pushed Alex gently.

“Because it’s not fun being talked about like an object! Hearing my family describe me as someone with a broad education, capable of discussing any ‘educated’ topic that my ‘noble’ spouse would be interested in, although well-behaved enough not to talk when it was not wanted ... well, it wasn’t as fun as I thought it would be,” said Kara dejectedly.

“Kara, we’re not negotiating for your hand in marriage. I just want to make sure that you’ve both thought this through,” said Alex dismissively, because she really didn’t see the connection.

“Well it sounds like she’s getting your approval for our relationship, but this isn’t Krypton, and I don’t need my family’s approval!” said Kara, louder than she’d intended. 

“No, but sometimes it’s beneficial for somebody not emotionally attached to evaluate something so that they can be objective. You can disregard my evaluation if you want, but I don’t want to you to be blindsided,” said Alex calmly, trying to get Kara to understand her position.

“Well, I don’t want your evaluation. Get out,” said Kara suddenly. 

“Kara ...” started Alex.

“If Kara wants you out, so do I,” said Cat firmly, getting up and pulling Alex out of her seat. As she was dragging her to the door she whispered, “I’ll talk to Kara, I’m sure she won’t be mad for long.” Alex looked vaguely grateful as she was essentially thrown out the door. Cat closed the door swiftly and turned to look at Kara.

“Thanks baby,” said Kara softly.

“If you don’t want someone in this house, all you have to do is tell me, okay?” asked Cat rhetorically. She noticed that Kara had stopped eating, which was always a bad sign, so she walked over to her and gently guided her to the couch so Kara could lie wrapped in Cat’s arms.

“Okay baby,” said Kara, nuzzling into Cat’s neck and trying to get impossibly closer to her, appreciative of Cat’s validation of her feelings. She was so used to repressing what she felt, but she never felt like Cat wanted that. It was a nice change. And she had always liked physical contact when she was upset. Cat had seemed to have picked up on that.

“You know that your sister just wants what’s best for you, though?” asked Cat gently, not wanting to get thrown out either. Even though it was her house, the truth was that she’d probably go if Kara wanted it.

“Yeah, well, I can decide what’s best for me,” said Kara defensively. She loved Alex, but that didn’t mean that she had to accept everything that she did.

“Is there any reason your so sensitive about this?” asked Cat softly. She wanted to understand where Kara was coming from so that she would never upset Kara like her sister clearly had.

“I don’t know. I guess ... a lot of other people have made decisions for me, and I’m sick of it. On Krypton my parents controlled almost every minute of my life. Here, my human family never really let me do anything much either,” said Kara. She had grown up born to rule, and as such her life had been carefully orchestrated to keep her safe. Which of course meant that she wasn’t really allowed to do anything. Once she had gotten to Earth, she had to hide her powers, and it seemed like that precluded her from doing almost anything too. 

“She’s not going to stop you from dating me though, you know?” asked Cat rhetorically. Honestly, as far as family reactions were concerned, Cat thought that this had probably been the mildest. She thought that Kara’s reaction was somewhat of an overreaction, but she could see that Kara was genuinely upset, so she wasn’t going to say that.

“Yeah, but ... it’s just ... she doesn’t get a say in my romantic relationships. Nobody does. Nobody but me,” explained Kara. She had watched her sister make some atrocious dating choices in high school, and she had said nothing. And now Kara just wanted some support for her loving relationship. But apparently that was unreasonable.

“Well, then inviting her over was a bit of a strange choice,” said Cat mostly to herself. Sometimes it was really hard to tell what Kara wanted. Cat had been so sure that Kara couldn’t possibly want her because she hadn’t really been giving her any signals. She never asked her out, never made suggestive comments, never did anything but be 100% professional. And there were times where Kara did seem so invested in her well-being, too invested to possibly be platonic, but they were always fleeting moments and then Kara was back to acting like just another employee. 

“Yeah, well, sometimes I say yes to things when I don’t want to. And then I go along with it ... until I don’t. I mean ... I guess that’s confusing to people. I should have told her no. But I didn’t, and then I got mad when she just kept attacking you ... I guess that’s dumb. I should have been clearer,” said Kara, mostly talking to herself again. She knew that she wasn’t very assertive a lot of the time. She just went with what other people wanted. And that worked out sometimes. But then sometimes people did things that she really didn’t like and she just kind of exploded. She supposed that she was going to have to do something about that one day.

“Look, Kara, you can call her and you can explain that you just don’t want to give her access to this part of her life and that she just has to deal with that ... if you want. But she was right when she said that sometimes objective analysis is a valuable thing, and maybe it would be beneficial to open up to her,” said Cat, wanting Kara to have a support network besides just her.

“You’re taking her side?” asked Kara, almost angry. She had been essentially defending her girlfriend, and now her girlfriend wasn’t even on her side?

“No, darling, I’m taking your side. I’m always on your side. I want what’s best for you. My perspective on our relationship is a little biased. I love you. I want you to stay with me. But that doesn’t mean that that’s what’s best for you,” said Cat calmly, not wanting to come between her girlfriend and her sister. It was obvious that there was a very deep attachment between them, and Cat would hate for this to cause a genuine rift between them.

“Well every second day you seem to tell me what a great idea leaving you is, so I don’t know what I need Alex for,” said Kara half-joking. She had found it interesting how insecure Cat was, given how she seemed so confident, but at some point she really needed to make sure that Cat understood that she was never going to leave her.

“I do that because I don’t think you’re hearing it from anyone else. I want you to have a balanced perspective, and I try to put aside my own biases for your sake, but nobody can really see their own circumstances objectively. Which is why most people talk to somebody else about their relationships. So I find your resistance to this ... interesting. Is there something you’re not telling me, Kara? Did people not talk about their relationships on Krypton or something?” asked Cat gently, wondering if she should add ‘cultural differences’ to the long list of obstacles in their relationship.

“I mean ... relationships were so different on Krypton. Love didn’t really exist. People just ... lived together. It was ... peaceful, I guess. Nobody got too emotional. Nobody cheated. There was really nothing to talk about. Relationships like ours didn’t really exist. The idea of two people being drawn to each other, rather than having a marriage negotiated for them was ... unheard of, really,” said Kara slowly, not really knowing how to answer Cat’s question.

“You’re saying nobody loved anybody? Not two people on the whole planet?” asked Cat, somewhat disbelievingly. 

“Well, there were Kal’s parents. People always thought that they were weird though. And I suppose there might have been a few more, who just didn’t tell people because they’d think it was weird. But it certainly wasn’t common,” said Kara confidently, although Cat wondered how Kara could really know what people were doing behind closed doors. 

“Do you think we’re weird because we love each other?” asked Cat quietly, wondering if her girlfriend had internalized some of the prejudice that seemed to exist on her planet.

“I ... no. When I first got here I guess I thought it was a little weird. But then I saw that people were happy and I was just like ... why not? I went on a few dates but it never really felt right. Then I met you. And I felt things that I hadn’t felt before, which was a little weird. But then I got used to it. I used to live for the moments when I’d give you your latte. Your hand would brush mine almost every time. It was the best feeling,” said Kara fondly. Cat moved to hold Kara’s hand and was relieved when Kara squeezed it firmly. She kept her other arm very tightly squeezing Kara, knowing that the girl could probably barely feel the force of her feeble human muscles.

“Well, good, because I did it intentionally. Every time I tried to look at where your hand was, when you were far enough away that you couldn’t tell I was looking, and then I’d try to remember the position as I got closer so that I could touch as much of your hand as possible while not looking, and pretending that it was just an accident. It all seems so silly now,” said Cat, amused, thinking of just how far they’d come in terms of physical affection, especially as Kara started to gently turn to face her girlfriend and Cat quickly released her hold on the girl. Once Kara was hovering just millimeters over Cat, she started gently kissing her for a few minutes, keeping her touches innocent but loving.

“I’m glad I got sent here. I’m glad I met you. I’m glad I got to be with you,” said Kara honestly, looking at Cat with adoration.

“You said that your parents picked you a spouse, right?” asked Cat, appreciating Kara’s affection but not actually willing to let her steer the conversation away from what they were talking about. Kara sighed and lay down on her side, resting her head on the same pillow that Cat had her head on, wrapping her arms around Cat and cuddling into her.

“Yeah. I suppose I’d be with him now if Krypton hadn’t exploded,” mused Kara. In a lot of ways, maybe she’d gotten lucky that Krypton was gone. She didn’t think that she ever would have found someone like Cat.

“Did ... did you marry him ... before Krypton exploded?” asked Cat, unsure how young Kryptonians married.

“Uh, no. Upper class marriages take a long time to negotiate,” said Kara, amused. She had seen the paperwork for one of the contract negotiations, and she was sure that there were at least three trees that had died for it.

“Did ... did he touch you?” asked Cat softly. Part of her didn’t want to know, but she couldn’t stop thinking about it, and the journalist in her had to know.

“Mm ... in what way?” asked Kara, slightly confused. She had obviously made some amount of physical contact with quite a lot of people, but she felt like Cat was asking something more specific than that.

“In any way,” sighed Cat. Kara was not avoiding this question on a technicality regarding a definition.

“I mean ... a little. We attended a few functions together. He held my hand. He kissed my cheek a few times. He danced with me a few times and he put his hands on ... me. But I never felt the way I feel with you when I was with him, baby,” said Kara, wanting to reassure her girlfriend.

“You are misinterpreting my concern for jealousy. I couldn’t care less if you’ve fallen madly in love before. I do, however, care if someone has hurt you,” said Cat seriously. She didn’t want Kara to feel like she couldn’t tell her about bad things that had happened to her; in fact she rather wanted her to confide in her.

“Well, at the time I thought it was okay. I thought I liked it ... I think? But after I’d been around you for a while I reevaluated what I thought attraction was. I think I was mistaking being uncomfortable for attraction. They feel kind of similar. They’re both kind of like being nervous. But ... I know that it wasn’t attraction now,” said Kara shyly, looking at Cat and feeling her heart rate pick up in a very different way than it had with the boy from Krypton.

“I see. Out of curiosity, were you ever planning to tell me about your fiance from Krypton?” asked Cat quietly. She wondered what she could do to get Kara to open up to her more. Would it happen naturally with time? Did she need to open up more before Kara felt comfortable doing so?

“Well, I didn’t think you’d care. We really didn’t do anything baby,” said Kara, vaguely amused at Cat’s strong reaction. It was still odd to Kara that Cat cared about her. She’d spent so long thinking that she didn’t. She’d listened to Cat tell her about how to get a boy’s attention without a trace of jealousy in her voice. And now obviously she knew that Cat was just keeping all those feelings inside, just because she wanted Kara to be happy and Cat had somehow though that that could happen without her, but she still wasn’t really used to it yet.

“It clearly had a significant impact on you though. And if you don’t tell me about the significant events in your life, I won’t understand where you’re coming from. Or, maybe if you explained this to your sister she’d understand why your so sensitive about other people having input into your relationship,” added Cat gently. She knew that Kara had been through massive trauma; losing an entire planet of people was something that should take years, if not decades, of therapy to process. And yet Kara had never gotten any; she had just gotten told to bury it and pretend it wasn’t there. But she didn’t have to hide that trauma with her girlfriend, and Cat wanted her to know that. Cat wondered if she could find a therapist that Kara would trust with Supergirl’s secrets so that the girl could really process the trauma and its effect on her.

“You really are defending her a lot for someone who grilled you ten minute ago,” said Kara, confused. She really didn’t understand why Cat would defend Alex; she barely knew her.

“She had your best interests at heart. I respect anybody who wants to protect you,” said Cat simply. She couldn’t help but remember when Alex had found her in Max’s basement holding Kara’s limp hand. She was balling her eyes out but Alex never said a word about that. She had repelled down the elevator shaft and gently picked up Kara’s unconscious body to take her to safety. She came back for Cat a few minutes later and got Cat to show her Max’s body. She saw the lion sitting in a cage with a wide open door and quickly moved Max’s body so that the lion could eat him without moving, given his injured leg. Once the animal caught on and started munching, Alex lifted Cat into her arms and told her that everything was going to be okay and that she was going to take her to see Kara. Alex had briefly mentioned that nobody could know about what had happened and Cat had just nodded, unwilling to use her shaky voice with a woman she barely knew. Then she had driven her to a secret government facility, which she really shouldn’t have had access to, and let her sit by Kara’s side until she woke up. Cat would always respect Alex for how she had treated her that day. And she would defend her to Kara, even if it made her slightly unpopular.

“Okay, baby, okay. Maybe I am being oversensitive about this. Maybe I could get her advice from time to time. When I decide though. But I don’t want her interrogating you,” conceded Kara, finding it hard to argue that she was protecting Cat when Cat was defending Alex.

“Okay, but I don’t really mind being interrogated by her,” said Cat calmly. She found it rather endearing that Alex was so protective of Kara, and also that she seemed to be rather accepting of Kara’s sexuality. Cat had already gotten two voice-mails from her mother since news about her and Kara got out, saying that she was disowning her and that she was a disgrace to the family name. So, in comparison, Cat found Alex’s attitudes rather welcoming.

“Well, I do,” said Kara finally. She loved Cat, and listening to anybody be mean to her was painful for Kara. She knew that Cat had all those walls to protect her so that she wasn’t too affected when people said those things about her, but Kara didn’t have those walls. 

“Yes, I can see that,” said Cat simply. She did appreciate Kara’s protective streak, although she felt it was somewhat misplaced. “So, what do you want to do now?” asked Cat, deciding that it was time to change topics. She had gotten some concession from Kara; she wasn’t going to push her luck further tonight. “Want to watch some TV?” asked Cat after not getting a response. 

“Um ... yeah, if you want,” said Kara shyly. Cat immediately noticed Kara’s change in tone and knew that this was another time when Kara wasn’t being honest with her.

“Kara, why don’t you just tell me what you actually want to do,” sighed Cat, trying to be more supportive than passive-aggressive, although some of the annoyance slipped in to her tone. 

“You know what I want, baby,” said Kara quietly, looking resolutely at the ceiling. Cat almost laughed, although Kara seemed so nervous that she was afraid to upset her. She didn’t want her girlfriend to be uncomfortable, although she wasn’t really sure why she’d be uncomfortable about this. They’d slept together before.

“Kara, is there some reason that you think I’d say no right now or are you always planning to wait for me to initiate things?” asked Cat softly. 

“I ... I ... I don’t know,” said Kara eventually. Cat gently grabbed Kara’s chin and tilted it towards her so that she was looking into her eyes. She wanted Kara to know that she could talk to her about how she was feeling, instead of just shoving her feelings down.

“Is this another thing that they didn’t do on Krypton - or at least, most people didn’t?” asked Cat quietly. Kara had told her that she was the first person that she’d ever been with, and so Cat had assumed that Kara’s initial hesitancy was just due to a new experience, but given this new information she wondered if there was more to it than that.

“I don’t know. I was really young when I left,” shrugged Kara. She really didn’t know the answer to Cat’s question. She guessed that the answer was no, but then again, she was so young. Maybe people just hadn’t brought it up yet.

“Okay. Well, it’s okay if you want to initiate things, you know?” asked Cat. She didn’t want to tell Kara that she had to do anything different; she didn’t want Kara to feel uncomfortable. But she wanted her to know that it was okay if she felt ready to be more assertive at some point. 

“Okay baby,” said Kara softly, desperately not wanting to talk about this any more. It turned out that she didn’t have to, because Cat kissed her just seconds later, and Kara kissed her back immediately. Kara reluctantly stopped her movements and floated up off the couch, standing beside it with her hand outstretched. Cat took it and let Kara pull her up, and then pull her body close to hers, as Kara directed them to the bedroom.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everybody who has commented. You are very cool and I really appreciate it. Also if you left Kudos that's very nice too.

Cat woke up alone. She almost always did. Kara must need less sleep than most humans, because Cat knew that they were going to bed at the same time, and if she ever got as little rest as Kara seemed to, the Devil himself couldn’t get her out of bed when Kara did. She wished that Kara needed more sleep. She didn’t like waking up without her girlfriend, and worst of all, she wondered if it would ever change. Kara had responsibilities, to Cat Co. and to the city, which Cat knew came before her. And Cat agreed with that choice, really. But it didn’t change the fact that it was a cold morning, and her very warm girlfriend wasn’t here with her. 

Carter was coming home today. Cat was excited to have him back home. She was so excited to hear what he had been up to that she was going to pick him up. Well, her driver was going to pick him up, but she’d be in the car too. She wasn’t sure how it would affect her relationship with Kara though. Kara might be fine with him for a day, but parenting was a big commitment. And if this was serious, and Kara kept insisting that it was, then Kara would need to be a real parent for Carter. 

After Cat had finally managed to get out of the house - she may have stayed under her nice, warm sheets just a tad longer than usual - she got in the backseat and told her driver to step on it. She wanted to see her son. 

Carter was waiting at the drop off point. He immediately ran for the limo - he was the only child who got picked up in one so he knew instantly that it was for him - and jumped in the backseat, shutting the door quickly and a little loudly. He sat as far away from his mother as he could and stared out the window with his arms crossed. “Carter, sweetheart, is something wrong?” asked Cat softly. She got no reply. Great, she thought, he’s not talking. “Okay then, are you hungry? You don’t have to be at school for another hour so we could get something. Anything you want. Just say it,” added Cat, getting increasingly desperate. Carter was like Kara; when they rejected food, something was seriously wrong. “Okay, well, I guess I’ll just drop you at school early,” said Cat after a few minutes, signaling to her driver to head to Carter’s school. 

Carter remained silent the entire ride over, and the second the car stopped at his school, he jumped out of the car and slammed the door behind him. 

When Cat eventually arrived at work, Kara quickly found her way into her office. “Hey baby,” said Kara softly. She hated leaving her sleeping girlfriend every morning, but it was unavoidable. Still, she was glad that she got to see her at work to let her know that she was still very much in love with her.

“Hey,” said Cat dejectedly. Kara noticed her tone immediately. Cat didn’t let much emotion through her voice often, especially at work, so when she did Kara knew that something was very wrong.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” asked Kara, concerned. She walked towards Cat’s desk as she tried to think of all the things that she’d done that might have been wrong.

“Oh, well, my son’s not talking to me. God knows why. He didn’t even want to get food with me. Food, Kara. That boy eats as much as you do,” said Cat, trying not to sound panicked but being rather visibly panicked. Kara was half-relieved that Cat wasn’t mad at her, but she was also concerned for Carter.

“Maybe he’d talk to Supergirl?” suggested Kara slowly. She didn’t want to overstep any boundaries, and she knew that Cat had issues letting people in. Still, she thought it might help, so she was willing to voice her idea.

“You’d do that for me?” asked Cat, hopeful. She was willing to bet that her son’s favorite hero could get a response from him when she couldn’t. 

“Of course baby,” said Kara, slightly surprised. How could Cat honestly not know how far Kara would be willing to go for Cat? And this was nothing, really.

“Then I’d love it if you tried that,” said Cat. Kara could see that Cat wasn’t going to want to talk about anything else until she knew what was wrong with Carter, so she left her office quickly.

Kara left work a little later that day - which was quite a bit earlier than her usual finish time - but Cat said nothing, because she knew where Kara was going. She appreciated that Kara wanted to find out what was wrong as soon as possible, because obviously so did she.

Kara arrived on the balcony of Cat’s apartment in her Supergirl suit and knocked on the glass. Carter opened the door excitedly. “Supergirl! What are you doing here?” asked Carter enthusiastically. Kara breathed a sigh of relief. Carter was talking to her. He didn’t seem to be traumatized either, although that was a rather hard thing to see.

“Well, I heard that you weren’t talking to your mother ...” started Kara, and Carter’s expression darkened.

“Of course. It’s always about her, isn’t it? That’s why you saved me on that damn train. Because of her. That’s why you were nice to me when she was too busy to pick me up,” said Carter. Kara registered that Carter knew that she was really Kara given that ‘Supergirl’ had never picked him up, but Kara had. She decided not to repeat her mistakes with Cat by denying it.

“Carter, I ... I do really like your mum,” started Kara, not knowing how the boy was going to respond.

“You love her, Kara. I’m not an idiot,” corrected Carter, vaguely annoyed at adults always trying to keep things from him. Kara couldn’t help but see an awful lot of Cat in him in that moment.

“Yes, Carter, I do. She loves me back. We’re dating, actually,” said Kara, deciding that if Carter was anything like his mother he wanted her to be honest with him.

“Oh, that’s cool. You’re a lot nicer than the last one,” said Carter, mostly to himself. Kara wasn’t quite sure how to take that, but she was certainly more understanding of why Cat was so negative towards her ex-husband. Anybody that Carter didn’t like was someone that she instantly distrusted.

“Well, good. So why aren’t you talking to your mother, exactly?” asked Kara. She was glad that Carter approved, even if it was by virtue of very low standards. She needed to get to the root of the problem with him and Cat though.

“Oh, she’s sending you to talk to me now? I suppose she’s just too busy at work?” asked Carter rhetorically. He had heard about how busy at work his mother was his entire life.

“Carter, you’re not talking to her. So we decided that I should. Now, how about you just tell me what you’re so upset about so that we can work this out,” said Kara calmly. She could tell that Carter was clearly upset with his mother, although she couldn’t imagine why that would be.

“You wouldn’t get it, Kara,” shrugged Carter. He was sick of telling people things that they didn’t listen to anyway. Why bother?

“Well, what’s the harm in trying then? If you’re right and you tell me, nothing has changed,” pointed out Kara. Alex had told her that one a lot growing up. Kara internalized almost everything, but she had opened up to her sister more than anyone, although that was only because Alex was the only person who ever made the effort to get her to open up. Kara liked to think that maybe she could be that person for Carter one day.

“You’ll tell me I’m being stupid,” said Carter. He always hated the ‘what do you really have to lose?’ line that so many people told him. He was shy, and people often told him that he should speak up more. But whenever he did, he just got mocked for being a ‘nerd’ or a ‘loser’ or even ‘stupid’. He didn’t feel like hearing that right now. Especially not from his hero.

“I wouldn’t say that, Carter. Please, can you just trust me this once? And if it goes terribly then you can hold it against me?” suggested Kara. Carter sighed. He was sure that he was right, but he was also sick of this conversation. So he decided to just bite the bullet.

“Ugh, fine. I didn’t want to go to that stupid camp. And I told mum that. But she didn’t care. She never cares. She’s always like ‘you don’t know until you try sweetheart’. But I do know. I literally could not be more sure that I do not want to be without Wi-Fi. I live on the internet. I hate going outside. I hate talking to people, except for a select few that I know really well. It’s really not that hard to figure out that I was going to hate every moment of that stupid camp. So I decided that if she’s not going to listen anyway, why bother wasting my breath talking to her?” said Carter angrily. It felt good to vent, especially after not talking for so long.

“Okay, I can see why you’re frustrated. And I don’t think you’re being stupid. But I think it would be more productive to try to get your mum to understand, so that you can improve the situation instead of just shutting down completely around her,” said Kara. Carter half-smiled. It was a better reaction that he’d hoped. But it was still a rejection of his feelings, albeit nicely phrased. Kara was suggesting that he talk to his mother, when all he’d done was talk to her for over a decade and gotten nowhere. But of course he was just supposed to ‘try, try again’. Well, he was done trying. It was her turn to try.

“Well, I’ll tell you what, Kara? You can go explain it to her. And if she somehow decides to start taking any notice of what I say, I’ll start talking to her again. So you can go now,” said Carter bitterly. He was sure that Kara was eager to get back to his mother and tell her all about this. After all, every moment Kara spent with him was really just for his mother’s benefit.

“How about I stay for a bit? We can play some games, I can make you something to eat. I could help you with your homework, if you want,” suggested Kara. Carter was surprised that Kara would stay with him. Or give him a choice as to what he wanted. That was certainly a nice change of pace.

“I guess I’m kind of hungry,” said Carter after a tense pause. Kara smiled.

“Me too, buddy. What do you feel like?” asked Kara, pleased. She was so glad that Carter felt comfortable around her, when he clearly didn’t with so many people. She knew that her relationship with Cat was new, but Carter was already very important to her.

“Honestly? Anything you can make fast. I’m so hungry. I’ve eaten nothing but berries for a week,” admitted Carter. He had spent ten minutes tearing through the pantry looking for snacks, but his mother was annoyingly healthy - or at least annoyingly good at hiding the snacks really well - so he couldn’t find anything. 

“Carter, why?” asked Kara, concerned. Nobody should ever eat that little, and Kara was more than willing to give Carter a very long speech about how humans - and every other species - needed energy to survive and that he should never do that again.

“I’m picky, okay? I don’t like it anymore than anybody else does. In fact, I like it the least of everyone. It’s not very fun to almost never be able to eat something that other people offer you because you know that you’ll hate it, even if you’re starving. Berries were the only thing that they had where there wasn’t something awful in it. Which is one of the many reasons I hate going outside - there’s never anything that I can eat,” said Carter. Kara was a little relieved that he didn’t seem to be anorexic. But she certainly wanted to get some food into his body immediately. 

“Do you like sandwiches? They’re fast,” suggested Kara.

“Yeah! Peanut butter sandwiches. No jelly. It reminds me too much of the berries,” said Carter, realizing that he was never going near fruit or fruit-like substances for a while. He had eaten enough berries for a lifetime.

“Okay, peanut butter sandwiches coming right up,” laughed Kara. She used her super speed to make the first few. She alternated between giving Carter a sandwich and eating a sandwich herself. Eventually they were both full, and Carter was ready to play some games after not getting to for a whole week. They played in silence and got absorbed in the game until Cat came home.

“Hey Carter,” said Cat hopefully, although she got no response. “Hey Kara,” she said a few seconds later, hoping that her girlfriend was still talking to her, but honestly she wasn’t even sure anymore. 

“Hey baby,” said Kara. Cat panicked for a moment; she hadn’t told Carter that they were dating yet. But Carter didn’t flinch, he just kept playing his game, so Cat supposed that he was okay with it, and in fact probably knew already. 

“Can I talk to you in the kitchen, Kara?” asked Cat. Kara paused her game while Carter kept playing, undeterred by being a player down. “Did you tell him about us?” asked Cat once Kara was close to her. She was a little surprised that Kara would do that without talking to her first.

“Yeah, I did. It just came up. I didn’t want to be dishonest,” said Kara, suddenly very nervous that she’d overstepped.

“Okay. And what did he say?” asked Cat. She accepted Kara’s reasons. She knew what it was like to be lied to by somebody that you care about, and she didn’t want Carter to experience it. 

“He said that he liked me,” smiled Kara. Cat wondered if there was really anybody in the universe who wouldn’t like Kara.

“Okay. And did he tell you why he has decided to give me the silent treatment?” asked Cat. She hoped that Carter’s affection for her girlfriend would help the situation.

“Well, he said that he didn’t want to go to camp, but you didn’t listen, and if you weren’t going to listen, he wasn’t going to talk,” said Kara matter-of-factly. She didn’t really want to take sides on this one. She just wanted to tell Cat what he had said.

“Oh, that? That’s what he’s upset about? I try to get that boy outside for one week of his life and he decides I’m a horrible mother?” asked Cat rhetorically. Cat rolled her eyes harder than she had in a while. All the horrible things that people do to their children, and Carter was upset that she wanted him to get some sun once a decade?

“Well, baby, I wouldn’t say that. He just wants you to listen when he says that he doesn’t want to do something,” said Kara, unable to stop herself from being slightly defensive. She was trying to remain neutral, but she wanted Cat to understand his side too.

“He’s a child! He doesn’t know what he wants. When I was his age, I thought I wanted to be a housewife,” said Cat dismissively. She almost laughed. She had been so naive when she was younger. Not quite as much as Kara, but rather close. She had thought that her parents were perfect, and that when they told her that ‘children should be seen and not heard’ she felt bad for bothering her parents. But now she understood that their complete lack of attention and disinterest in her life was one of the many signs that they weren’t actually as great as she had thought. She had been an awful judge of character, including her own really, and it took her a very long time to figure out what she wanted to do. So, naturally, she made a point to try to expose Carter to different things so that he could figure out what he liked faster than she had, despite how unnecessarily difficult he made the process.

“Well, he’s not talking about those kind of big decisions. But he has a pretty clear preference for staying indoors with internet connectivity and away from strange people, and honestly, that’s not really a bad thing. Some kids do drugs. Some kids sneak out and their parents don’t even know if their alive. Some kids commit crimes. All he wants is that you don’t force him to do useless activities that he doesn’t like,” said Kara, trying to be calm and neutral, but not quite succeeding.

“I don’t need parenting advice, Kara. He’s my son,” said Cat firmly. Honestly, she didn’t need whatever millennial ‘wisdom’ Kara thought that she had. Carter needed to toughen up. He was being ridiculous, and so was Kara for making it seem like what he said had any real merit. Cat got the distinct impression that Kara had received an incredibly loving and supportive childhood, but Cat knew what a bad childhood was actually like, and Carter was not experiencing one.

“Oh. Okay. Sorry. I’ll go,” said Kara, keeping her voice neutral despite the emotion threatening to spill out. Of course Cat didn’t need her advice. Of course he was her son. She had been so stupid to think that she was anything like family to either of them. Their relationship was so new. “Bye Carter!” she yelled, trying to keep it short so that she could get out of the room as fast as possible.

“Come back anytime!” yelled Carter bitterly. Kara quickly turned around and walked out onto the balcony. She took a deep breath, keeping any silly tears back, and flew up over the city, ready to be a Superhero and save somebody. Anybody. Anything to take her mind off of this.

“Carter, have you eaten?” asked Cat, walking over to her son. Carter said nothing. “Carter, if you’re going to keep this up, I’ll take your games away,” threatened Cat. She needed him to know that this was important. She didn’t want her son to starve, and honestly if this was the start of some silly hunger strike she was going to nip that in the bud right now. 

Carter breathed slightly heavier, but said nothing. He didn’t care much for politics, but he had always liked the line ‘we don’t negotiate with terrorists’. He liked to think that he could be like that. That he could be stronger than the bullies in a subversive kind of way. So when strong kids who struggled with math beat him saying they’d stop if he did their homework, he didn’t give in. He might not be able to compete physically, but as far as he was concerned, he’d won. They had failed math and he had gotten top of the class. So his mother could take away everything that he owned. He wasn’t going to let her win just because she was stronger either. He was going to win because regardless of how she hurt him, he wasn’t going to give up. 

“Last chance, Carter. I just want to know if you’re hungry. That’s not unreasonable,” Cat said, slightly agitated. “I’m giving you to the count of 3. 1 ... 2 ... ... ... 3!” said Cat finally, ripping the controller out of Carter’s hand. Carter tried to get it back, but Cat just lifted her arms up and luckily that was just too tall for Carter to reach. “Right, go to your room. You are only allowed to do homework as of this moment. When you get sick of this, you can ask me nicely and we can talk about this behavior,” said Cat firmly. Carter kicked the lounge chair in frustration - it didn’t do any damage although it might have left a slight mark from the dirt on his shoe - and then he stomped towards his room, eventually slamming the door behind him. 

Cat sighed. She was sure that he was going to get over this in a day or two. Still, she had been excited to see her son again, and now it seemed that she wasn’t really going to see him for a few days. And Kara was gone again, which meant that she was alone again. She sighed as she decided she should make dinner. She’d just make the normal amount and hope that it was enough for Carter. 

“Dinner’s ready!” Cat called out an hour later when the food was done. Cat waited a minute but didn’t hear Carter coming, so she slowly walked outside Carter’s door. “Carter, sweetheart, dinner’s in the kitchen!” she yelled through the door. She waited a few seconds - nothing. She sighed and opened the door. Carter was in his bed, cuddling his favorite toy bear, facing away from his mother. Even without seeing his face, Cat could tell that Carter was upset. “Sweetheart, I made dinner. You can come eat it now or I’ll just put it in the fridge,” said Cat softly, still standing outside his room. Carter just tightened his hold on Mr. Cuddles - that big, soft bear was one of the few decent presents his grandmother had ever bought him - and stayed put. “Okay, I’ll put it in the fridge then. I love you Carter,” said Cat, gently closing the door again. She knew that he was being ridiculous, but she hated that he was genuinely upset. Still, he had to realize that acting like this just because you didn’t have a great time somewhere was unacceptable.

* * *

Carter made himself half a bowl of cereal in the morning. He wasn’t hungry but he didn’t want to sit through a lecture about how important breakfast was from his mother, or even worse, have something else taken away by her as a punishment. It wasn’t really giving in, he told himself, it was just a small thing that didn’t really matter and wasn’t worth the penalty fighting. He took his mother’s packed lunch that he knew that he was just going to throw away, and he left for school without a word.

Kara seemed to be pulling away from Cat too. She used her actual name, instead of the term of endearment that she had become so accustomed to, and she said it in the most professional way possible. Kara seemed to want to run out of Cat’s office the second that she could, and Cat didn’t stop her. They would both realize that they were wrong eventually, Cat decided. 

Carter came home and went straight to his room. He didn’t do the homework that was due tomorrow that he should have done yesterday. He didn’t eat even though he knew that it wasn’t healthy to not eat for this long. He just lay down in his bed, and sobbed into Mr. Cuddles while he thought about how his mother didn’t care about him. Did he do something wrong? Or was he born unlovable? Why was work always more important than he was? Was work that interesting? Or was he that boring? 

Carter made sure to use his favorite bear to cover the sounds of him crying. He knew that his mother thought that it was weak to cry. He had heard her tell someone that during a phone conversation once. He never forgot that. He didn’t want his mother to think that he was weak. He also didn’t want his mother to know that he was sad. He was trying to pretend that he was unaffected by her punishment, but of course he was. He was miserable. He hated every moment of every day. School had never felt so bad. The classes seemed to drag on more than ever. And then he came home and he cried the tears he knew that he wasn’t supposed to cry in front of anybody else. The worst moment each day was waking up, because he knew that he had to do it all again. 

He couldn’t go outside to eat because then his mother would see how emotional that he was. So he was hungry all of the time. He couldn’t eat the lunch that she packed him because she had put fruit and fruit-flavored things everywhere and it reminded him of the berries too much. And he couldn’t tell her because that would require talking to her. Not that she’d even listen anyway. So he was stuck feeling exhausted all day; although luckily he didn’t have to explain any of that to anybody because nobody noticed anything or asked him what was wrong.

He spent a lot of time thinking - mostly about how miserable he was. He thought about how stupid all of the classes he got forced to take were. He thought about every time his mother had prioritized something else over him. He thought about how nobody cared about him. He thought about how he never had a choice - about his classes, about what he ate, about what he did. He thought about how he could never tell anybody about his negative feelings, because they would just give him stupid platitudes like ‘look on the bright side’ or ‘try harder’.

* * *

It had been a week since Carter had come home. He still wasn’t talking to her. She wasn’t even sure if she and Kara were still dating anymore, given their highly prickly interactions. They hadn’t had any physical contact. Not even an accidental hand brush while handing over documents. And now Cat was sitting in a meeting with one of Carter’s teachers who was explaining to her that her son hadn’t done his homework, had gotten detention and then had not shown up for that detention. All three of those items had never happened before. 

“Look, Ms. Grant, your son has done the wrong thing, and he needs to be punished so that he doesn’t do it again. He keeps accumulating detentions for missing them. If he doesn’t go to the next one, we’re going to suspend him. He has to learn,” said the teacher. Cat almost laughed, but she kept her face absolutely still. She had tried punishing Carter. He didn’t seem to be learning anything, other than how to distance himself from his mother and how to fail school, apparently. But God forbid the school system really change from the same fear-inducing style of discipline that she had been subjected to all those years ago. They had used a belt, now they used boredom and the threat of never getting into college because of a bad record - suspensions or expulsions - and hence being almost guaranteed never being able to get a good job. But while some people seemed to think that it was better to be feared than loved, she could see that that didn’t work for everybody. Although she wasn’t really sure what did work, given that this was the only system that she knew.

“He’ll be there, okay? Just tell me the time and the place, and I’ll make sure he’s there,” said Cat firmly. She didn’t really know if that was a promise that she could keep, but she was going to try to save Carter from future pain if she could. She was going to try anything to make sure that he didn’t throw his future away now.

* * *

Cat went back to Cat Co. to talk to Kara. She was her only hope. She walked right into Kara’s office and closed the door. “I almost have those layouts ready, but you’ll have to come back in ten minutes” said Kara, briefly looking up and then returning her gaze to the paper in front of her. She seemed so disinterested, Cat wondered if she even cared about her at all anymore.

“Kara, I’m not here to talk about the layouts. Look, I don’t know if this is over now, or if you hate me, or what, but I think you still care for Carter. So I need you to convince him to go to his detention so that he doesn’t get suspended, because God knows he’s not listening to me,” said Cat desperately, hoping that Kara’s affection for her son outweighed what she was feeling towards her. 

“Okay, first of all, I don’t hate you. And this isn’t over unless you want it to be. I will talk to your son, since I clearly have your permission to deal with him now ...” started Kara, still sounding incredibly cold and professional. Cat didn’t know how much longer she could take that.

“Kara, stop. I’m sorry, okay? I handled this wrong. I thought that he’d get over this and he hasn’t. He’s never been so reckless with school. He’s never gotten a detention in his life, and now he has nine, apparently. He’s barely eating. He hates me. And you ... Carter clearly adores you. Maybe he’s more like you than me. Maybe you have a better sense of how to deal with him. I am very protective of him, but I don’t need to protect him from you. I don’t know what to do. I can’t let him win; then he’ll know whenever he wants me to do something that he can just pull this again. And he can never pull this again. He’s this close to getting suspended,” said Cat, holding her thumb and forefinger very close together in the air for a second.

“I’ll talk to him on my break,” said Kara simply, still too hurt to look at Cat. She was always willing to help Cat, and Carter, but she didn’t like that Cat was only willing to let her help when her own plan failed miserably. She didn’t want to be the back-up, she wanted to be included in the first decision.

“You said that this isn’t over, and yet you can’t even look at me,” said Cat, tears threatening to spill out. She missed Kara so badly. And yet it seemed like Kara didn’t miss her one bit. Cat wondered if maybe all the dumb magazines were right about them being all wrong for each other.

“I just ... you were right. About Alex. It is good to talk to someone with more clarity. You told me that you were serious about us, but then the second I make a suggestion about Carter you’re telling me that it’s not my place to parent your son. So am I just a fling to you?” asked Kara, finally breaking her professional tone. She had been so adamant about defending Cat, but when Kara was crying into Alex’s arms about how she was moving too fast for Cat and that she had ruined everything, Kara had begun to see that Alex was right about Cat’s potential to hurt Kara. 

“No! No. I was being overprotective. I just need some time to adjust to being with someone again,” said Cat. Kara just shook her head. She didn’t want excuses. She wanted change.

“Yeah? How much time? How many times are you going to hurt me trying to distance yourself from me? Because that’s what you keep doing consistently. You love me, but you push me away. You’re dating me, but you’re still pushing me away. When does it end, Cat? Ten years from now do you still intend to hold back because you’re scared I’ll leave?” asked Kara angrily. She was sick of Cat’s attitude. Kara had been nothing but open, even though she consistently got hurt. But she kept doing it, because it was the right thing to do. It wasn’t unreasonable to expect the same back. That’s what Alex kept telling her anyway.

“I ... no. I won’t push you away anymore. I’m done being scared that you’ll leave. Clearly, you’ll leave me if I keep doing that. And you should, really. Who wants that? So, here it is. I love you Kara. I would love you to be another mother to Carter, and I think he’d like that to. I miss you like crazy. Everything feels empty without you. I go home and Carter’s crying in his room and I just sit in the lounge watching the news for any sign of Supergirl because images of you are the closest I can get to you. I dread coming to work everyday because watching you ignore me is worse than not seeing you at all. I am so sorry that I have hurt you. I know that I keep doing that. And I keep saying that I won’t do that again. I guess I gave myself too long to adjust. I don’t need anymore time. I will be better. I promise. I love you, and I will tell you that every second of every day if you want. Please come back to me,” said Cat, deciding that this was a ‘now or never’ point in their relationship, and Cat didn’t want to lose Kara. Besides, Kara was right. She couldn’t keep pushing Kara away. She had to let her in - really, completely let her in. And if she got hurt, well, that would be awful. But honestly, she had to do better for Kara. Kara deserved warmth and openness - and Cat was going to give it to her.

“I ... I am going to give you one more chance. If you give me this same speech in a month’s time because you’ve hurt me again, I will leave you. I don’t care if you’re the only person on this planet I can love, I deserve better,” said Kara firmly. Cat was saying everything that she wanted to hear, but she didn’t know if she really believed it. 

“Yes, you do. I will be better for you, I swear. I know those are empty words, but I’m going to show you, okay?” asked Cat rhetorically. She didn’t know how she managed to hurt the two people she loved most in this world in the same week, but it wasn’t something that she planned to do again.

“Well, I guess I’ll find out,” said Kara dejectedly. Cat winced. She’d done this to Kara. She’d broken her young idealism. She had never wanted to do that. “It’s time for my break,” said Kara, getting up and meeting Cat in front of the door, blocking her way. Kara sighed; what did Cat want now?

“Thank you for doing this. I really appreciate it,” said Cat, determined to start being more open by expressing her gratitude to Kara, before stepping aside. Kara half-smiled, appreciating the gratitude but unsure how long it would last, and went up to the roof.

* * *

Carter was sitting in the library like he always did during his lunch breaks when someone sat down next to him and said, “hey” in a rather familiar voice. Carter’s eyes rose from his book to see Kara sitting next to him.

“Kara!” Carter said excitedly. Kara saw a few kids trying to read look up to death-glare her for a few seconds.

“Shh! I’m not really supposed to be here,” whispered Kara. She didn’t want to draw attention to herself. Parents were really the only ones that schools allowed on the premises or near the children, and Kara was not Carter’s mother, so she had covertly flown in to avoid detection. 

“Oh, sorry. What are you doing here?” asked Carter. He certainly didn’t want to get Kara into trouble. He had no idea what she’d risk getting into trouble for though. Nevertheless, he was certain that his mother had sent her again.

“I’m here to talk to you, buddy. You’re going to get suspended if you don’t go to your next detention. Are you planning on getting suspended?” asked Kara softly. She just wanted to talk to Carter; she wasn’t going to try to use fear to get him to do anything. She wanted to change his mind so that he actually wanted to do what would be beneficial for him, instead of him needing to be threatened constantly.

“I don’t care,” said Carter simply. He was sick of getting forced into things that he didn’t want to do. He was done. Besides, suspension was a dumb punishment. He loved being at home. Well, at the moment he didn’t really love anything. But being at home wasn’t worse than anywhere else.

“You don’t care? What are you planning on doing after school? Because a lot of things need a uni degree, and you’ll have to pass school for that,” said Kara, slightly surprised but still trying to keep her tone soft. Carter had always seemed to be more academic; his sudden disinterest in school seemed out of character. 

“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out,” shrugged Carter. He was sick of thinking about his future. He didn’t know what he wanted, but he knew that he hated this system. He was sick of shop class when he knew that he had no ability for it. His classmates’ insults didn’t help the situation either. He was also sick of art class when he knew that he didn’t have an artistic bone in his body. He also didn’t appreciate his art teacher constantly telling the class that ‘everybody can draw’ and then barely passing him. It was all ‘open to interpretation’ until it came down to assessment, and then all of a sudden ‘there’s no wrong way’ became ‘that’s awful though’. Every time a mark came back from one of those classes was just another reminder that he wasn’t good enough. And there were a lot of marks to really hammer that message home.

“Okay, how about this? Why limit your options? Why make your life so much harder? Why are you doing this? To make your mother angry? Because you’re not hurting her, you’re hurting yourself. It’s your life that you’re making harder,” said Kara, trying to get at the root of Carter’s sudden change in attitude, and making an educated guess as to why that would be.

“It’s not about her! I just don’t want to do it. I’m tired. I have spent my whole life trying to get good grades. But it’s never good enough. I got 98% on my last math test, and mum told me that she’d be happy to get me a tutor to help me with what I didn’t get. I got 98%! I made one dumb mistake under pressure! She’ll never be proud of me. She doesn’t even like me. She doesn’t care what I say or what I do. And I’m done trying to get something that I clearly never will. Her love is clearly unattainable ... to me, anyway. And I just don’t care about school anymore. So I figured ... why bother?” asked Carter rhetorically.

“Wow ... I don’t even know where to start with that. Listen, your mum is super proud of you. She tells me about you. A lot. And she likes you very much. She loves you. I don’t know why you think she doesn’t. She just wants you to get the best possible grades so you can get into the best schools. They’re so competitive Carter, and you can easily miss out by getting 2% less on a test. And I think that you’ve lost interest in school because you’re incredibly sad since you’ve gotten it into your head that your mum doesn’t care about you,” said Kara, remembering how emotionally unaware she was at Carter’s age and deciding to help point out his feelings to him.

“She doesn’t care about me,” said Carter firmly. He was vaguely aware that his behavior had changed somewhat at the point in time that Kara was referencing. But this had also be building for a long time, and just because he hadn’t expressed it didn’t mean that this was coming from nowhere. Besides, maybe he had less tolerance for doing stupid classes because he realized that his mother wouldn’t care anyway, but as far as he was concerned, that was his prerogative. And if Kara was trying to convince him that he was wrong about his mother, she needed a more convincing argument than ‘she talks about you sometimes’.

“Okay, look. How about this? You go to this detention today. Just this one. Just for me. And afterward I will take you to get your favorite food - whatever you want, as much as you want. And then we can go home and sit down with your mum and figure out how to fix this rift between you. It’s hurting both of you, by the way. I honestly don’t know which one of you feels worse about it. And I guarantee you that both of you will feel a lot better by the end of the day. And if I’m wrong, then you can always get suspended tomorrow,” said Kara lightly, although very desperately hoping that this was going to work.

“I don’t know,” said Carter. He seemed to be considering it though.

“Can you just try? For me? For your mum? For your future?” asked Kara. “All you have to do is sit through one boring hour. And then you can have pizza. And ice cream. Or whatever you like,” she added. She knew that this was essentially bribery, but she didn’t have enough time for a real conversation to get Carter to change his mind.

“I like noodles. And spring rolls,” said Carter slowly, wondering if he could get some decent food out of this. Kara was so relieved that he seemed to be really considering it.

“I can definitely make that happen,” said Kara, smiling. Carter rolled his eyes in a way that reminded her quite a lot of her girlfriend.

“Ugh, fine. Just for you,” said Carter reluctantly. Kara quickly enveloped him in a hug. The bell rung and Kara quickly let him go. She didn’t need for him to be late. That would probably be another detention.

“Okay, go to class. I’ll see you this afternoon.” Carter sighed but quickly left the library to make sure that he got to his class on time. He didn’t really want to go, but he didn’t really have anywhere else to go.

* * *

Carter went to his detention. He thought about not going, but then he imagined Kara’s sad face, and he decided that he couldn’t do that to her. He walked out of the school gates and saw the black limo that was always for him, and he got in. He noticed Kara immediately and smiled. “Hey buddy!” said Kara enthusiastically, passing him a box of noodles and a container of spring rolls. Carter’s face lit up; she’d remembered. “So, I kind of got the whole menu? I eat a lot because I’m an alien, so I figured I can just eat whatever you don’t like. And if you don’t like anything, then we can go somewhere else,” said Kara, remembering that Carter had told her that he could be picky. Carter bit into a spring roll.

“This is good,” he said simply, and Kara just smiled as she started eating one of the many boxes of noodles.

* * *

They arrived home with only four boxes of noodles and one container of spring rolls left. Kara walked in with one bag of food in one hand and Carter’s hand held in the other. He was a little nervous, and although he hadn’t voiced that, Kara had picked up on it and silently moved to grip his hand. He hadn’t let go. They walked over to the dining room table where Cat was already sitting down, waiting. Kara handed her the bag of food and sat down so that she was between Carter and his mum. Cat, who stress ate junk food - and takeaway food, apparently - , randomly picked a box of noodles and took a few mouthfuls before starting to speak. “Okay, Carter, so first of all, I’m very glad that you went to your detention. I’m also very glad you finally ate a decent amount of food, because I want you to be healthy and happy, and starving yourself will get you neither of those things. Now, Kara tells me that there are some things that you need to tell me. So ... anytime, sweetheart,” said Cat, waiting nervously for Carter to talk, wondering if he was actually going to start speaking to her again.

“Carter, if you won’t tell her than I will,” said Kara. Carter just stared at the floor. “Okay, so Carter is very sad, and hence has given up on everything including school, because he seems to think that you don’t care about him,” said Kara softly, not wanting to inflame any tensions. Carter thought that that was a bit of an oversimplification of things, but he still didn’t feel like speaking to his mother, so he didn’t.

“What? Carter, I love you. You know that,” said Cat dismissively, because honestly, this boy’s complaints were a joke.

“No, he doesn’t know that baby. He genuinely thinks that you don’t even like him,” said Kara, imploring Cat to understand.

“I ... why, sweetheart? Why would would you think that?” asked Cat, hearing the sincerity in Kara’s voice and deciding to try to establish where Carter would get such a silly idea from.

“Well, I think he doesn’t feel like you listen to him, for one. Like that camp. He told you that he didn’t want to go,” said Kara, wondering how often she was going to have to repeat the same thing to Cat. She was starting to understand Carter’s frustration.

“You know what, Carter? You really, honestly, never have to go to another one. I thought you might have fun and I was very, very wrong. I thought that you might make some new friends or enjoy doing something different, and quite clearly, that was not the case. I made a mistake. I’m sorry that you had a bad time. That wasn’t my intention,” said Cat, willing to concede that it was not the best idea that she’d ever had, and that she had no intention of repeating that particular mistake.

“So what?” asked Carter. Cat was so happy that Carter was finally talking again that she didn’t care that it was aggressive. “You’ll do the same thing again. They’ll be something else that I don’t want to do that you’ll force me into anyway. Like making me join the chess club,” said Carter bitterly. He had decided to break his silence because he had kept everything inside for a while and he was ready to let it out now. Mostly because hearing his mother speak was eliciting a rather strong emotional reaction from him lately.

“Sweetheart, those things look good on applications to colleges. And you need them; these days, everyone else has them and you won’t even get considered without them,” said Cat softly, wondering if Carter had any idea just how much she protected him from his own naivety.

“But I hate it!” said Carter, frustrated. He had heard the speech about it being good for applications, but that didn’t change his opinion.

“Sometimes you have to do things that you hate to get to somewhere that you like,” said Cat calmly, thinking back to all the horrible things that she had gone through to get to where she was. It was a little hard to take her son seriously - complaining about having to go to a few clubs - when she had dealt with decades of sexism and a whole lot of other bigotry due to her sexuality. 

“BUT!” interrupted Kara, “if he understands that, and he just doesn’t want to do it, he doesn’t have to. Right?” she asked, because she honestly wasn’t sure if Cat was willing to let Carter make any decisions at this point. She knew that it came from protectiveness, although Carter didn’t seem to realize that, and it was hurting their relationship immensely.

“Well ... I’d like to hear what school he thinks he’s going to get without them. Or what job,” said Cat, trying to remain open, but trying to get Carter to see reason. She wasn’t going to let him throw away his future, regardless of how much he seemed to hate her for it.

“Okay, Carter. So are you going to be okay if you don’t get into an Ivy League?” asked Kara, because she knew that Cat was right about the standards for college acceptance.

“I guess I have to be,” said Carter. Of course he’d rather get into the best schools. But if all of this pain was what it took to get there, it just wasn’t worth it to him. 

“And what job do you want exactly? Do you want to go to an arts school too?” asked Cat, trying not to cringe at the word ‘arts’. Sure, she had done journalism, but newspapers had always provided a real source of jobs. And Carter had never shown the slightest interest in art class. Although, given recent events, she wasn’t sure if he was about to tell her that he intended to become a sculptor.

“I think I like computers,” shrugged Carter. He hadn’t told his mother that before because he had given up on actually expressing his interests to her a while ago. 

“Oh? IT then? Do you know who has the best IT program in the country? MIT. An Ivy League,” added Cat, not wanting Carter to miss out on something just because his young brain hadn’t thought it through.

“Yeah, well, there are other schools,” said Carter dryly, because he was sick of his mother’s super high standards. He didn’t need to get into one of the top schools in the country. He just wanted to do something that he liked. 

“Fine, okay. You want to drop all of the extra-curriculars, fine. But you’re certainly going to need to get through school, and that means you’re going to go to these detentions and start doing homework again,” said Cat. She wasn’t thrilled about the situation, but she decided that he couldn’t get in anywhere if he didn’t finish school, so that was the priority.

“Lots of people have just started their own IT companies without a degree,” said Carter. He pretended not to see the brief look of horror on his mother’s face.

“Well, a few very successful people have done that, that is true. It is also true that 99% - rounded down to a whole percent - of the field is full of people with a professional IT qualification. So it is very, very, very unlikely that that would work out for you,” said Cat, wondering if she had used enough ‘very’s for Carter to understand that that was not a safe option, or a particularly realistic one. 

“Kara!” whined Carter. He trusted Kara to be on his side. She had already gotten his mother to actually let him drop some of the things that he didn’t want to do.

“Buddy, she’s not being difficult. It’s just the reality. It’s really hard to get a job that pays you enough to live on without a university degree. So many people go to university now that employers can easily get people who have a degree. And if you don’t have one, they’ll just throw your CV out. It’s an easy way to cut down the list of people who applied. It’s a very competitive job market,” said Kara, knowing full well how hard it was to get a job - and that was with a degree from a good university.

“Fine, but why can’t I just start my own company?” asked Carter, still trying to get out of this whole thing.

“Because that costs money, for one,” said Kara softly, wondering if Carter could really understand money given his age and massive wealth.

“I have money,” said Carter simply, wondering if Kara was really unaware of how much his mother made.

“Oh no! You are not using your trust fund on a risky investment!” said Cat suddenly, absolutely not willing to concede on anything to do with that money.

“Kara!” whined Carter slightly louder, hoping that she would help again.

“Buddy, you need to make sure that that money is secure. You need money to live. If you spend it on a company, and then that company fails - as a very strong majority of small businesses do - then you don’t have that money any more. And even if by some miracle you create the next Google, those companies take years to take off. You need to pay for start-up costs, rent, salaries, health insurance, and a whole bunch of other expenses which cost a lot of money, until you make a profit and that revenue starts paying the bills for you. And even then, just because a company is a success now, doesn’t mean it won’t fail later,” said Kara, remembering the basics from that first year business subject she had taken as an elective. It was amazing how things that you were sure were going to be absolutely useless came up sometimes.

“Mum, you literally started a company though,” said Carter, pointing out the obvious weakness in their argument.

“Well, yes. But media companies are easier. You print things on some paper and then you sell it. Immediately. It takes years to build commercial code. And programmers are a lot more expensive than journalists. And there are a million other tech start-ups to compete with. And even if you build the most amazing software, people aren’t necessarily going to buy it. Non-tech people have a way of buying the prettiest software, because they don’t understand any of the technical details. And even if you make the prettiest software, people aren’t necessarily going to buy it. A lot comes down to marketing. A lot comes down to luck,” said Cat, recalling what one of the programmers she had interviewed once told her.

“Ugh, but I hate school! I hate English class. Why do I have to learn about poetry? What am I going to do with that? And what is with all of this trigonometry? Who is using all of these triangles that they keep making us learn about? And algebra? When does anybody ever actually solve for x? And gym? Like, what is the point of a push-up? When does that come up in life? And I hate being around those kids. They just call me names all day. I hate it,” said Carter, just immensely frustrated. He couldn’t argue with their logic anymore, but it didn’t change his emotions.

“Well, it’ll be over one soon enough,” said Cat, thinking back to school years that she barely remembered, and knowing that soon enough Carter would feel the same.

“Oh, right. I forgot. Just suck it up and shut up - that’s always your advice,” said Carter angrily.

“That’s not ... that’s not exactly what I meant, sweetheart. You might think that you hate school, and that may very well be true. But I guarantee you that people who don’t have an education hate their situation more. Because they have a very limited earning potential, and living paycheck to paycheck is a terrifying experience,” said Cat, trying to articulate that Carter wasn’t actually as hard done by as he seemed to think.

“Whatever,” said Carter, sick of having his mother dismiss what he said.

“Okay, so what your mum means is that while your points are all very valid, the system is what it is. And when you grow up you’ll be glad that you went through this pain to get a nice job which comfortably pays your bills. However, that is very far away and ‘it’ll be worth it in the end’ is not comforting to everybody. So, maybe a more useful thing to focus on if you really don’t like school that much is ways to make the experience a little better. One way to do that is by trying to make some friends. People suffering with you is surprisingly comforting. Also, having fun outside of school is important. Otherwise you’ll be completely miserable, and then you’ll do what you’re doing now and just give up. Which is why ... baby,” prompted Kara.

“Yes, you can play your games again,” said Cat reluctantly. She still wasn’t sure that this was the way to go. She was worried that Carter would just play games instead of doing schoolwork. But she was trusting Kara’s plan, because Kara got a say now, and she was willing to trust Kara. Besides, her own plan certainly hadn’t gone very well.

“You’re the best, Kara!” said Carter, hugging Kara, instantly knowing that this was her doing. She always seemed to want to help him. She never took anything away from him; she never wanted to punish him. She was just there for him.

“Yeah, you’re welcome,” said Cat dryly. She was very quickly seeing who Carter’s favorite parent was going to be, and it was not her. She really shouldn’t be surprised given that Kara was literally his hero, but she had hoped that raising him for over a decade would earn her some points. Clearly not.

“Okay, so Carter, are you going to go to these detentions and do your homework again?” asked Kara, hoping that all this had actually solved the problem.

“Ugh, I guess,” said Carter reluctantly. 

“You guess?” pressed Cat. She had no intention of getting called into another impromptu meeting with a teacher. She needed to know that he was actually going to do it. 

“Yeah, mum. I’ll do it, okay?” asked Carter rhetorically, rolling his eyes. After a decade of being nagged by him mum all the time, he was a little sick of it. 

“Okay. Good. I just want what’s best for you, you know? I love you, sweetheart,” said Cat softly, because she was trying to be more open with the people she loved.

“Yeah, right,” said Carter, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Why don’t you think that she loves you, Carter?” asked Kara softly, because it was time to get rid of that idea once and for all.

“She’s always working. She’s either at work or working from home,” said Carter bitterly. 

“That’s not true, Carter. We play Settlers of Catan all the time. I’m always here to make you breakfast and dinner. I proof read all of your English assignments,” Cat said quickly, ready to spend an hour listing all of the things that she did for that boy.

“Yeah, but that stuff doesn’t count. You have to feed me. And you clearly want me to do well in school. And you certainly like winning,” said Carter, frustrated.

“What do you mean ‘doesn’t count’ Carter?” asked Cat, slightly more aggressively than she had agreed with Kara that she would be.

“What your mother means, Carter, is that she does a lot for you and you might not see it because she’s always done it, but I assure you that you’d miss it if it stopped. And yes, she does work a lot, because she’s the CEO of the company, and that job pays for the very nice penthouse that you live in, and your consoles, and all of your video games, and the education that you will really appreciate one day,” said Kara, jumping in with a much calmer tone.

“I don’t want it though. You can take the penthouse and the games! I just wish you wanted to spend time with me,” said Carter sadly, trying not to let any emotion into his voice, just like he’d heard his mother do a million times, but knowing that he never managed to do it as well as she did.

“Of course I want to spend time with you!” said Cat indignantly.

“Then why don’t you?” asked Carter angrily, because he couldn’t be stoic like his mother, but he could mask the sadness with anger. Cat took a breath before answering, because she was trying to follow Kara’s plan, although it was a little hard to be ‘calm and supportive’ like Kara had told her to be right now.

“Sweetheart, life just isn’t that simple. You might not think that you care about money, but trust me, that’s only because you’ve got it. People have a way of undervaluing the things that they have. Everyone just wants what they don’t have,” said Cat as calmly as she could manage.

“I don’t believe that. People want what they want. I wanted an Xbox, I got an Xbox, and then I was very happy with my new Xbox,” said Carter, glaring at his mother like he was sick of hearing things that were supposed to be ‘deep’ but didn’t actually hold true.

“Kara, help,” said Cat, vaguely defeated. Kara was better at talking to him anyway. She was closer to his age and she remembered what it felt like to be his age a lot better.

“Buddy, your mum’s right. Life is complicated. But she’s given you the absolute best that she can, and FYI, a lot of people would kill to grow up like this. And you might not appreciate it now, and you might never appreciate it, but believe me, there are worse positions to be in. And your mum definitely loves you, Carter. You might think that she chooses work over you, but I’ve seen her do everything in her power to rearrange work to fit in with you. The only reason she brings work home is so that she can get out of the office faster to see you,” said Kara.

“Really?” asked Carter incredulously. His mother had never mentioned any of that. He had never thought that she worked at home because she wanted to be closer to him; he had just thought that she was bored with him.

“Of course really,” said Kara brightly, knowing just how much Cat loved her son.

“Okay ... good then. I love you too mum,” said Carter slowly. This day was a lot to process. He didn’t even know if he knew what he felt right now. But he was starting to think that maybe he had been very wrong about his mother. Cat smiled and reached for Carter’s hand, which he took. She was so glad that they were okay again. 

“Okay then! So, Carter, how about you go to your room and catch up on all the homework you need to get done,” said Kara gently. He really had a lot to do, and Kara didn’t want to him to fall behind even more.

“Ugh, fine,” said Carter, breaking contact with his mother and going to his room.

“You were great, Kara,” said Cat gratefully when Carter was out of earshot. Honestly, what had she done without this girl? She couldn’t lose her. She wouldn’t lose her. Kara was already like a part of their family. It was new, but it was right. They had known each other so long anyway; it was natural that they should fast-forward through a few steps.

“Oh, really? Thanks,” said Kara, smiling. She was glad that Cat was finally giving her real compliments instead of backhanded ones. 

“So ... do you ... maybe ... want to stay?” asked Cat, who was usually not at all nervous, but Kara changed everything. She wasn’t sure how Kara really felt about her right now, but she was desperately hoping that Kara still wanted to spend time with her.

“With Carter here?” asked Kara. She was still a little hesitant when it came to Carter after recent events. She didn’t want Cat to distance herself from her again because she felt that Kara was getting too close to her son.

“Well, my son does tend to be here quite a bit. We can’t really have a relationship without him seeing you sometimes,” said Cat, still not really sure if they were really in a relationship. She decided now was as good a time as any to find out.

“Yeah, I get that. It’s just really soon and I thought you’d want to wait so he didn’t get so attached to me,” said Kara. Cat exhaled for a few seconds. So they were still dating. That was quite a relief.

“Well, I think that ship has sailed. He adores you. And I’m done holding back to try to spare myself or anyone else future pain. So, as far as I’m concerned, he should get used to having you around ... if you want,” said Cat, adding the last part because she still wasn’t entirely sure if Kara wanted to bolt now after everything that had happened.

“Then of course I want to stay. I’ll always want to stay,” said Kara like it was very obvious. She was relieved that Cat was actually expressing her insecurities now, instead of distancing herself to avoid them.

“Do you mean that?” asked Cat quickly. Her heart was racing. She had just had an idea, but she didn’t know if it was good one or not.

“Yes,” said Kara, smiling.

“Move in,” said Cat quietly, suddenly avoiding eye contact. Kara wasn’t sure if she would have heard Cat without her super hearing, but she had definitely heard it.

“I ... that’s soon,” said Kara, stunned. This was a big step, and she couldn’t really believe that Cat had been the one to initiate it. Especially now.

“I ... I mean ... you don’t have to. I just ... forget it,” said Cat, cursing herself for being an idiot. Of course it was too soon. What was she thinking?

“Yes,” said Kara suddenly.

“Yes, you’ll forget it, or ...” started Cat, because she didn’t want to get excited unless Kara was saying what she thought that she was saying.

“Yes, I’ll move in,” clarified Kara. Of course she wanted this. They already knew each other; the only thing left to do was figure out if they could really make their lives work together.

“Oh. Well, good,” said Cat. She was smiling, but she didn’t want to seem too over the top. She was ecstatic though. She still couldn’t really believe that Kara was with her. But this was everything that she’d ever dreamed of, and she was still kicking herself for being so sure that Kara could never want the same thing that she never actually asked. 

“Good,” said Kara, smiling. This was everything she had ever wanted. Cat wasn’t pushing her away; she was actually being the one to take their relationship forward. 

“So how much room do you think you’ll stuff will take up?” asked Cat, having never seen Kara’s apartment. Besides, she wanted to distract herself from the giddiness by talking about practical concerns. 

“Well, I think I’ll be selling most of it. Your stuff is nicer,” said Kara, looking at the TV that cost more that her annual salary. She wondered if Cat actually thought that she bought less expensive things because she actually liked them better. Obviously she liked Cat’s incredibly nice penthouse. Although she realized that she might need to buy some food, given how much she ate. Kara decided that she could worry about later though.

“Oh, okay,” said Cat calmly. Inside she was thrilled. She really liked her stuff, and she was sure that she wouldn’t like Kara’s. But if Kara had wanted it all moved in to her apartment, she would have done it.

“So it’ll mostly just be my clothes. I’m sure we’ll find room for my closet in your gigantic bedroom,” said Kara, smiling. Honestly, dating a millionaire didn’t hurt. She imagined that it was going to be very nice to live here. 

“Yes, I’m sure we will,” said Cat, smiling. She was glad that she had done this. She didn’t need to hold back with Kara; Kara wanted her as much as she wanted Kara. “So how about we watch some TV?” asked Cat, suddenly wondering if they would have very different tastes in television.

“Sure baby,” said Kara happily. Cat sat down on the couch and Kara just lay down with her head in her lap. Cat smiled as she ran her fingers through Kara’s hair for a bit, then got the remote and flicked over to the news; something that she was sure that both of them would probably be interested in.

“Today marks the start of the official investigation into the disappearance of Maxwell Lord, the philanthropist who is known for his love of National City,” started the newsreader. There were pictures on the screen of Max with smiling children that he had helped. Kara squirmed slightly, but Cat just softly ran her fingers along Kara’s arm until she settled. Cat knew the truth about that man, as did Kara, and it wasn’t what was being represented on the screen. “Anybody with any information about Mr. Lord is urged to contact the police hotline at the bottom of the screen. The police have made a statement clarifying that they do not know if Mr. Lord is in any danger or not, however they cannot get in contact with him and at this point in time they have strong reason to believe that he may be in danger. Many people have released videos and statements asking for anybody who knows anything to contact the authorities. We have selected a few to show you now.” 

“Max Lord is the kindest person I know,” started some thirty year old white man in a suit. Kara scoffed. “He saved me when nobody else did. I was top of my class at Princeton but nobody would hire me because I had a mental breakdown in college, and a video of it went viral. Even though once I got treatment I was fully functional, nobody was even willing to interview me. Nobody except Max. He told me that ‘I was just human and every human deserved a chance’, and he hired me on the spot. And that’s why I’m begging anybody with information to come forward. The tiniest detail could help. Please, save the man who saved me.” Kara rolled her eyes at Max’s clarification that humans - and clearly only humans - deserved a chance, but she couldn’t help but appreciate that Max had done something not-terrible in his life. It didn’t mean that his life was worth saving though. His slightly less discriminant hiring policy did not justify his murder of innocent women. 

“Maxwell Lord is my hero,” started an eight year old Latino boy. Kara couldn’t help but wince; he seemed so pure and yet he was idolizing a murderer. “Everyone in my family is a doctor, but I want to be an engineer, just like Maxwell. I wrote him a letter ... like ... a year ago, and I told him that I had to give a presentation at school about what I wanted to be when I grew up, and that I wanted to be like him, and it would be cool if he told me more about what he did so I could tell my class about it. Well, he didn’t write back, but he showed up to my class instead, and everyone thought that it was epic, and then he took me to his lab and showed me all this awesome stuff, and he told me that one day he was going to hire me. I think that anyone with information about him should call the police, because that’s what you’re supposed to do.” Kara sighed. Max might have inspired some people into a certain profession, but so could anybody else, and it didn’t mean that he should be allowed to hurt people. 

“Okay, I think that’s enough,” said Cat, quickly changing the channel to a cooking show. She knew the horrors the Max was capable of, and she knew that if other people knew that then they wouldn’t want to defend him. Or maybe they would. Maybe they would idolize a man who helped them but hurt other people. But it wasn’t right, and Cat hoped that Kara wasn’t feeling any guilt over what she had done.

“I was so wrapped up in everything that I forgot about what people would think,” said Kara quietly. She was suddenly thinking about what would happen if people ever linked Max’s disappearance - or murder - back to her. They would imprison her. No, humans were imprisoned. They would torture her. They would dissect her. She was an alien, and her crimes would always be treated as worse because of that. And she doubted that anybody would believe it was self-defense. She doubted that she’d even get a trial.

“They won’t find out that it was you. Alex made sure of it,” said Cat confidently. 

“Okay,” said Kara, trying to be convincing but not really succeeding. Max was a rich and powerful white man. They didn’t just disappear. People would pour resources into finding out what happened. And if they couldn’t get a solid answer, they would probably just decide that somebody was guilty anyway. The government could make aliens disappear and nobody questioned it, but Max was human. People would want justice for him.

“Trust me. Trust your sister. It’ll go away. She’ll make it go away,” said Cat reassuringly. She had a significant amount of confidence in Alex - especially when it came to protecting her sister. 

Kara didn’t say anything, because she knew she couldn’t agree convincingly, so she just snuggled a little more into Cat as she tried to focus on the contestant who may be overcooking something because they were too wrapped up in something else - it was very tense, if the music was anything to go by. Cat let her, because she knew that there was nothing that she could say that would really convince her that this wouldn’t end up hurting her. Cat was well aware that if people even thought that there was a possibility that Supergirl had killed a human, it would be a disaster for her. Still, she had to believe that Alex would protect her.


	5. Chapter 5

Kara woke up at 1 AM. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the darkness as she slowly disentangled herself from Cat’s arms to answer her phone, which used a ring tone only her Kryptonian ears could hear. She had always lived alone her entire adult life, so she hadn’t really considered how these things would affect someone else, but after that morning when her alarm had gone off and Cat had been less than thrilled about the early wake-up call, it was clear that she would need to make some adjustments. Switching to a different alarm tone had been one of quite a few changes. 

She groaned as she grabbed her loudly ringing (to her, anyway) phone and floated out of bed, eventually softly touching her feet to the ground, so that she wouldn’t wake Cat with her footsteps. “Hey Alex,” she whispered. She had caller ID, but she knew it was Alex the moment she woke up. Alex was the only one who ever called at these kind of times. Although there was that one time where Winn called her at 2 AM to ask her about the realism of his favorite science-fiction shows. He hadn’t made that mistake twice though. Honestly, sometimes that man seemed to think that her life should revolve around his feelings.

“Hey Kara. Get down to the DEO. We need you.” Alex had been slowly getting used to calling her sister and getting whispered responses. She hadn’t been getting them recently though, but clearly Kara had worked things out with Cat. Alex wasn’t thrilled about that. Still, she was trying very hard to respect Kara’s decisions. If Kara wanted to date Cat, that was her choice. If Kara came to her for her opinion she’d give it, but Kara didn’t need her unsolicited opinion about her life, especially her love life. She had made that incredibly clear. Alex would never want to upset her sister, and she was capable of self-control, so she was choosing to continuously bite her tongue.

“I’ll be there in ten,” whispered Kara, ending the call. She sighed. She might need less sleep than humans, but the hours of sleep that she did get weren’t really ideal. She wanted so badly to just crawl back into bed, but she knew that she had to be the hero and save the day. She sighed as she looked at her girlfriend, still peacefully asleep. She had to make the city a little safer for her. And Carter. She had already grown to love both of them so much, and she would always do anything to protect them.

* * *

Kara eventually arrived at her Cat Co. job around midday. She had just sat down at her office and she had begun reading through her e-mails. There were a little over a hundred. She groaned. Even with super speed, she needed to talk to a lot of people (in normal speed) so it would take hours to get through all of it. And then by the time that she was done with them there would be even more e-mails. And she still needed to do her normal job. She sighed as she picked up her phone and dialed the first number that she needed.

* * *

Kara’s door opened suddenly and she looked up tiredly. She didn’t know how many more young journalists who needed help - or needed Kara to write their entire assignment for them - she could take. But it wasn’t a young journalist. It was Cat. Thank Rao. “Darling, we need to talk,” said Cat slowly. Kara looked at her in fear. “Not like that!” said Cat suddenly, realizing what Kara must be thinking. Kara relaxed a little, but she still wasn’t sure what Cat wanted. And she had a lot to do; she didn’t have time for distractions. “Darling, what time do you plan on leaving this office?” asked Cat softly. She didn’t have to worry about how her other employees would feel about her display of softness; all of them were gone. And she was done hiding her feelings from her girlfriend. Kara deserved to feel loved, and to know how much Cat cared about her, and Cat refused to put her own fear of being vulnerable above Kara’s happiness any longer.

“Oh, not for a while. You can go home though,” said Kara. She had gotten through all of the e-mails and phone calls, and all those parts of the job that weren’t written down and were highly under-appreciated. She was now doing her real job, which was almost more frustrating than calling Bob from accounting again - since there was an error with her payslip again - and having to hear about his recent surgery. He got it playing rugby. He was very athletic. He had suggested that Kara should come see him play sometime. Kara had very clearly stated that she was very happy with Cat. Bob had made some vague comment about thinking that she might change her mind some day, and that he looked forward to talking to her again. It occurred to Kara at that moment that Bob might be getting her pay wrong on purpose so that he could talk to her. Kara wondered if she could get Cat to fire him. She was done letting people get away with bad behavior just because she wanted to be nice. She had realized that the world was a better place when people called out bad behavior and those people had to stop their inappropriate conduct, so really, the nice thing to do was to save other people at Cat Co. from having to deal with this guy.

“Darling, it’s time for you to go home. Now. It’s 10 PM,” said Cat. She knew that her girlfriend was likely to get woken up in the middle of the night anyway, so she had really wanted her girlfriend home a few hours ago. But she hadn’t wanted to be too pushy. Kara was an adult, and she could make her own decisions. But at this point it was just getting ridiculous. People needed sleep to function properly, and at this rate she wasn’t sure how Kara was going to be able to cope tomorrow. 

“I just need ...” started Kara. She had so much to do. That damn phone call with Bob had taken an hour. And he hadn’t even been the most time consuming part of her day. She had spent almost three hours talking with one young journalist who was convinced that Maxwell Lord’s disappearance was all a government conspiracy. She wanted to look deeper into it, but Kara had firmly steered her away, telling her that the police were looking into it. It had taken a while to convince her though. She had also learned that the police had officially classified him as ‘missing’ but were treating him as ‘presumed dead’, although they weren’t telling the public that yet. They apparently had a suspect, but she didn’t know who. The whole thing made her wonder if she was really going to get away with it. She didn’t want to tell anybody though. There wasn’t any need to worry anyone until the police came knocking.

“No. I am the CEO of this company, and I am ordering you as the CEO: you need to leave this building now. I don’t need a lawsuit due to you working unlawful hours,” said Cat, cutting her off. She was aware that Kara, like many other employees, had been working extra hours in order to keep up with her demands which couldn’t possibly be accomplished in the actual working hours specified in their contract. So, naturally, out of fear of unemployment people went beyond those hours, but Kara was her girlfriend now, and she didn’t want her girlfriend to do this to herself.

“People work unlawful hours all the time and you let them. You just care now because I’m your girlfriend,” said Kara knowingly. She had been around Cat long enough to know what she cared about. Cat knew that she was right. Cat had never really cared about health and safety regulations, nor about her employee’s in general. She was the CEO. She needed to make profit - a lot of profit - to keep her board and shareholders happy. But she definitely cared about her girlfriend, and she wanted her to be happy and healthy, and that meant that Kara needed to stop working herself so hard.

“You are also the city’s hero. You being overworked here could lead to not saving people somewhere else. Is that what you want?” asked Cat. She knew that Kara responded more to other people’s needs better than her own, so she decided to appeal to that side of her. She knew that she had made a mistake when she had tried to fire Kara after confronting her for being Supergirl, but that didn’t mean that Kara should throw this much energy into her day job. She needed a balance that didn’t leave her exhausted.

“I can handle both,” said Kara, trying to sound confident, although her tiredness came through. Cat sighed. That girl was so young sometimes. She would be so easy to use and abuse, since she was so eager to succeed. Cat remembered being like that. She let people get away with treating her badly and she almost worked herself to death. She didn’t want that to happen to Kara. But she also remembered that at that age nobody could have convinced her to slow down. She thought that she had to do above and beyond to impress people, and she really thought that it was all her own idea, as opposed to the exploitation, which almost every company encouraged, that it really was. And of course she had repeated the model herself, because exploiting people had a way of making a profit. Now, obviously, she was regretting not taking a more moral path.

“Okay, darling. When this all falls apart, and you’re completely burnt out, I want you to know that I’ll be here for you. I won’t push this, because clearly you’re not ready to hear it, but you need to know your limits ... and being awake for excessive amounts of time constantly is always going to go wrong. And working this long is going to make you miserable. People need a life outside of work,” said Cat. She wanted to make Kara understand, even if she knew that it was going to fall on deaf ears. She had to at least try. 

“I’m not human, baby. I’m fine. And I love my job. Go home,” said Kara dismissively. She knew that Cat just cared about her, but she had no understanding of Kryptonian physiology. Besides, she didn’t understand how much this job meant to Kara. It was what kept her grounded, and made her the empathetic hero that she had to be. It was the contrast to people putting her on a pedestal and calling her a hero. 

“Okay,” sighed Cat, walking out of the room. She knew that she couldn’t save people who didn’t want to be saved, and that there was no point in trying. It would just infuriate both of them. But she hoped that Kara would listen to her one day; hopefully before she fell down completely. Regardless, she would be there for her girlfriend when it happened and try to help her create a more manageable work-life balance.

* * *

Kara came home around midnight. Cat was sure that she would be asleep before her girlfriend got home, but apparently not. She was too worried about Kara’s health, and too uncomfortable sleeping during the increasingly colder nights without her arms around Kara’s warm body. Cat pretended to already be asleep though, because she didn’t want Kara to feel responsible for her too, since she already felt responsible for a city full of people.

Kara came home exhausted. She was drained from reading and re-reading articles so many times that she could barely tell if she was actually reading the words or if she was just remembering what she’d read last time. It had become clear around half an hour ago that she was just making more mistakes and she’d be better off just going to sleep and looking at it tomorrow with fresh eyes. The minute she arrived, Kara quickly shed her clothes and wrapped herself around Cat. She shut her eyes and very quickly fell asleep.

* * *

Kara got woken up at 1 AM, again by a call from her sister. In fact, the entire day seemed to repeat itself. Kara couldn’t get to Cat Co. until the afternoon, which meant that it took her a long time to catch up on things, which meant that she left the office rather late, and got home to find her girlfriend asleep. Cat hadn’t said anything at the office, but she did look at her with concern, which Kara felt was completely unnecessary. Sure, she was a little tired. But she was helping people. That made everything worth it. Kara had always wanted to feel useful. She had felt so useless for so long on Earth, but now she finally had a chance to do something worthwhile. And anything that made the world a little safer for the people that she loved was worth all the tiredness in the world as far as she was concerned.

* * *

Carter had made sure that absolutely all of his homework was done so that he could dedicate his entire weekend to Pokemon Go. He was up by 8, something which hadn’t happened during the weekend for a long time, so that he could - as the expression goes - catch them all. He had two battery packs in his bag, along with enough sandwiches to last him the day, and more bottles of water than he could ever need. He was a proud member of Team Mystic and he intended to take over at least one gym for his team today. 

When the game first came out, Carter had been instantly thrilled by the idea. He had always loved the Pokemon games, and being able to walk around and catch real Pokemon seemed super cool. His mother had been very firm that he was absolutely not allowed to walk around unsupervised though. ‘There are very bad people in the world Carter, and someone needs to be there to stop them from hurting you,’ his mother had told him in a tone that suggested that this was not up for discussion. Carter had rolled his eyes, but he had agreed not to go out alone. He had only really done it because Kara had told him that his mother was right about this one, and he trusted her judgment. Kara had also promised that she would personally take him Pokemon hunting on the weekend.

Just like she had said she would be, Kara was up and ready to go that morning; her bag was filled with her own supplies - mostly donuts - which Cat had insisted that she take. Well, Cat might have suggested healthier snacks, but Kara had completely ignored that. She knew her own metabolism and what she needed, and she understood that Cat’s diet worked for her but was in no way suitable for a Kryptonian. Kara quickly kissed Cat goodbye - which Carter sheepishly looked away from - and then the two headed out.

They went towards the city center - because there wasn’t many Pokemon (or anything really) anywhere else - and although Carter had more Zubats than he could ever need, he was having fun. Kara was amazed that Carter was suddenly interested in leaving the house, let alone thoroughly enjoying himself. Especially given his rather strong reaction to that school camp. But clearly it wasn’t going outside that was the problem, just what the activity was. 

They had been outside for a little over five hours when Alex called. “Hey Supergirl. We need you,” said Alex simply. Kara looked down at Carter’s happy little face and sighed. He was going to be devastated. But she had to save people if she could. 

“Okay. I’ll be there soon,” said Kara reluctantly, ending the call. Carter looked at her suddenly. “Buddy I’m going to have to take you home. The city needs me,” said Kara softly. She knew that he was going to be upset, and she hated that she was the cause of that. He was so sensitive, and she wondered if he could ever really trust her knowing that she could be called away at any moment.

“But you promised!” said Carter angrily. He had always liked Supergirl, and her heroic saves, but he’d never really thought about the woman behind the S on her chest. He had thought that it was cool that his mother was dating a superhero at first, but now he wondered if she was just going to be another bad fill-in parent who didn’t have time for him.

“Do you really want me to let people get hurt so that you can play this game?” asked Kara simply. She didn’t have time to be sensitive; saving people required arriving as soon as possible and hoping that it was fast enough. She knew that Carter valued Supergirl, so she was hoping that he would understand why she had to go.

“No. I just don’t want you to make promises that you can’t keep. And I don’t need you to babysit me anyway. I’ll be fine,” said Carter, clearly annoyed. He had had enough of people saying that they would do things and then having to bail at the last minute. He was sick of always being disappointed. He had thought that maybe Kara would be different, but clearly not.

“This isn’t a discussion. We have to go now,” said Kara firmly, just picking the boy up and walking quickly towards the nearest deserted spot so that she could fly off. Carter huffed but kept playing. He finally saw a Pokemon (that wasn’t a Zubat) on the map - and it was one that he had wanted for a while - but before he could even tap on it, Kara had flown him into the sky. He was back at his mother’s apartment in under a minute, and he sighed as he watched Supergirl - in her Supergirl suit - flying through the air to go save the day. Not his day, though.

Cat walked up to him, confused. “You’re home early,” she said. She had been excited that he was actually doing something active and she hoped that the excitement of Pokemon Go hadn’t worn off already. Although, if it had, she certainly wasn’t going to push him to do anything that he didn’t want to do. She had learned from previous experience that he didn’t appreciate that. If he missed out on something because he didn’t try, well, that was just his problem, she supposed. He could make his own mistakes, and he could learn from them himself. She loved him, but she had to let him do what made him happy (within reason), even if it wasn’t the best idea long-term (within reason). After all, once Cat had let Carter drop his extra-curriculars he had ended up joining the computer club, which he liked a lot better and had led to him finally making a few friends, so maybe giving him a bit more freedom had been a good idea. He certainly seemed a lot happier to go to school, and he’d stopped that nonsense about dropping out. And after all she’d put up with after trying to get him a little bit of exposure to the outdoors, it turned out that all he needed was a phone game to willingly walk around outside for hours.

“Kara had to go be Supergirl,” he said, deflated. Cat looked at his obviously sad demeanor and sighed. She had been looking forward to a nice, quiet day. But her boy needed her, and he always came first. Carter was a quiet boy, and he almost never got really excited about anything. But he was excited about Pokemon Go, and he was finally excited about doing something healthy, and Cat didn’t want either of those two things to fade.

“Give me ten minutes and then I’ll take you out again,” promised Cat. She was going to need to put on much more comfortable clothes if she was going to be walking for a while. Also, she was going to need to wear some of Kara’s sneakers, because none of her shoes were suitable for walking more than twenty minutes in.

“Really?” asked Carter, excited. His mother was as interested in the outdoors as he was, although he was pretty sure she wasn’t as thrilled about Pokemon Go as he was. So it was a pretty big concession for her to take him out Pokemon hunting.

“Yes, really,” said Cat, barely getting the words out before she wrapping her arms around her son who was now hugging her very hard and thanking her profusely. She let it go on for as long as he wanted it to, because she always enjoyed physical affection from the few people that she let in, and then he quickly let her go and told her to hurry up. She rolled her eyes but quickly changed into more comfortable clothing and then the two of them headed out the door.

* * *

When Kara finally returned home, Carter and Cat were watching the news. When Carter looked up to see who had just come home, he muttered something to his mother about having ‘things to do’ and quickly went to his room. Kara sat down beside Cat and wrapped her arms around her. “He hates me,” said Kara sadly. She had been hoping that she could form a real bond with Cat’s son, but now he didn’t even want to be in the same room as her.

“Well, good,” said Cat lightly. She leaned into Kara and sighed. Her muscles were so sore, and she had to try a few angles before she was in the least amount of pain possible while still getting the most of her girlfriend. She had spent a long time walking, mostly in rather warm sunlight, and although Carter seemed unfazed, she did not intend to get up from this couch for quite a while.

“What?” asked Kara, almost angrily. She pulled away from Cat slightly, breaking all physical contact.

“Well, he hated me last week. Now it’s your turn. Tell me, is parenting as fun as you thought it would be?” asked Cat jokingly. Kara could be so serious sometimes. It was a strange deviation from her usual young behavior. But Cat could understand why Kara would be sensitive about familial relationships, given that she had lost her entire family. Still, it was important to realize that children weren’t all fun and games. In fact, most of the time they weren’t like that at all. They were hard work and they very rarely appreciated that work. But Cat loved her sons, and she wouldn’t trade them for the world.

“This isn’t funny,” said Kara, but she cuddled back into Cat anyway. Feeling that Kara needed some reassurance, Cat reluctantly shifted slightly so that Kara could rest her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder. Cat softly ran her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair as Kara relaxed slightly. 

“Oh, sure it is. He’s a child. His emotions aren’t very stable. He overreacts to most things. He’s a very bright boy, and he’s rather good for his age, but he’s just a boy. And right now he thinks that you saving people instead of playing Pokemon with him is something to be upset about. And that, darling, is funny. You can’t take this stuff to heart. He’ll be over it in a week,” said Cat. She loved Carter to death, but she had experienced enough of his moods and irrational decisions to know that he was far from an adult. He might do well in math, but he also thought that eating nothing but ice cream was a great idea, even when he had felt sick for days afterward before. 

“You’ve said that before,” said Kara. She wanted Cat to be right, but she was scared that she wasn’t. Besides, Kara knew what it was like to have a really hard childhood, and she never wanted Carter to have to deal with that. She already cared so much about him, and she just wanted him to be happy.

“That was a rather odd exception to his normal behavior. Besides, he was over it in about a week and a half. Admittedly, that was only because of you. But trust me, he’ll be fine. And then he’ll be upset about something else. And then he’ll be fine again,” said Cat, sighing. She knew what Carter was like. He was very sensitive, and he got upset a lot. He hid it at school, but once he was home and relatively alone, he felt safe enough to let some of that bottled up emotion out. Of course, that didn’t make for the most fun experience for her at home, but she knew that he would learn to cope with his emotions better over time, and until then this was the best strategy that he had.

“Maybe,” said Kara. Cat decided that she would probably only believe it when she saw it for herself, so she gave up trying to convince her girlfriend for now. Kara was just a little naive because of her age, but Cat was sure that sooner rather than later she would get the hang of all of this.

“Let’s watch the news and then I’ll make dinner,” suggested Cat. She was sure that there would be enough food for a Kara-sized dinner. She had made sure that her house was Kara-friendly since before she moved in. That meant that there were food deliveries every two days to make sure that her girlfriend would never be hungry. She had gotten used to guessing what Kara would like as well. She no longer bothered to try to give her anything even remotely expensive - she couldn’t taste the quality anyway - but she had managed to throw in some vegetables with enough sauce to make her girlfriend like it. 

“You know, you really don’t have to cook for me all the time. I could make us something,” suggested Kara. She loved Cat’s cooking, but sometimes she worried that Cat took care of her too much. Kara was already living in her house, using almost all of her things and eating her cooking. Kara wanted to do things for Cat too.

“Um ... that’s such a ... thoughtful idea ... but really ... I can do it,” said Cat, desperately wanting to avoid eating Kara’s cooking, but trying not to sound as opposed to the idea as she was. They had very different standards. Cat loved her girlfriend, but there was only so much she could take. Kara just had a very different pallet to her. And Cat did not have a super metabolism to stay healthy while eating like Kara did.

“Oh, okay,” said Kara, trying to mask her disappointment. She could tell that Cat was not thrilled at the prospect of her cooking. Cat smiled and turned the volume up on the news. She had turned it down so that Carter could tell her about the Pokemon he’d caught. He was very excited about his Pikatchu. Cat didn’t really understand, but she was glad that he was happy.

“And in entertainment news, Cat Grant, CEO of Cat Co., was seen today in the city in a tank top and shorts! She was spotted with her son, who was on his phone. The usually fashionable media mogul seemed to have completely forgotten any sense of style ...” said the broadcaster, although Kara turned it off before he could say another word. Cat almost appreciated the dedication of the photographer who must have been following them for a while, since he managed to capture one of the few moments where Carter looked unhappy. He had said something about the Pokemon that he wanted ran away.

“You took Carter Pokemon hunting?” asked Kara, excited. She was thrilled that not only did Carter get to play his game, but her girlfriend actually went with him. Kara knew that Cat was not big on games in general, and she certainly didn’t like wearing clothes that cost less than Kara’s monthly salary.

“Yes. It was quite the experience. It was also incredibly hot outside, hence the clothes,” said Cat. She had been surprised to find just how hot being outside for so long was. Carter seemed completely unaffected by it though; he acted like he was having the time of his life. Cat didn’t exactly enjoy having to walk for miles for no apparent reason - she did catch something about an egg hatching - and having to ration food and water. Of course she’d do it all in a heartbeat for her boy, but it would have been nice if he could have picked a hobby a little less painful for her.

“Baby you don’t have to justify what you wear to me,” said Kara. She never wanted Cat to feel like she had to wear anything to impress her. She just wanted her girlfriend to be happy and comfortable.

“I know. I just want to be clear that I haven’t suddenly abandoned my normal wardrobe,” said Cat. She didn’t need Kara buying her $20 jeans or something. Not that she didn’t like it when Kara wore her $20 jeans. But it wasn’t for her.

“I’ll try to take him tomorrow too, but if Supergirl is needed ...” started Kara. She knew that this really wasn’t Cat’s thing, although it really was Kara’s, so she wanted to do this for her. Especially because Cat didn’t want to let her do much, including cook, apparently.

“Yes, I understand. Don’t worry. I’m used to being constantly criticized, especially for what I wear. It doesn’t affect me very much anymore. Besides, I’m so glad that Carter is finally getting out of the house. I think he’s gotten more exercise this week than the whole of last year combined. And I’d do anything to keep my boy happy and healthy,” said Cat. She may not find these outings incredibly entertaining, but being a parent was about putting your child first, and that’s what Cat always strived to do.

“I wish you didn’t have to get crucified by the media though,” said Kara. She hated listening to people talk about her girlfriend like she was a bad parent, when she was so totally the opposite. She knew that headlines like ‘Cat Grant cares about her son’ wouldn’t sell papers, but it still frustrated her that this was what people wanted to read.

“Yes, well, it’s the price I pay for the life I chose, I suppose,” said Cat. She had been in the public eye long enough to be used to the ridiculous headlines and complete lack of privacy. 

“Yeah, but I don’t see any men being criticized for not looking like a runway model all the time,” said Kara. It was all twice as annoying for Kara, who remembered living on Krypton without any of these ridiculous double standards.

“Ah, well, I suppose it’s the price I pay for being a woman and being successful. I wish it wasn’t the case too, but there’s really nothing I can do about it. I can, however, do something about your growling stomach,” said Cat, getting up to go to the kitchen with Kara right behind her. Kara realized at that moment that she was absolutely starving.

“Baby, don’t be offended, but I think I need something like right now,” said Kara, walking straight to the freezer and getting a tub of ice cream that she bought yesterday. She got a spoon and started shoving it into her mouth. “So what’s for dinner?” asked Kara after the tub was gone in a few minutes. 

“Do you want pizza?” asked Cat, almost managing to get the condescending tone out of her voice. She wasn’t a big fan of the dish, but she thought that she could definitely get a few vegetables into Kara hidden in tomato sauce.

“Like ... you spending two hours making very fancy pizza? Or you ordering 3 pizzas from wherever is closest?” asked Kara. She couldn’t wait two hours; even after the ice cream she was still pretty hungry now.

“I assume you want the latter,” said Cat dryly. She could tell that Kara needed to eat soon and she also had the feeling that Kara would always prefer quickly delivered pizza anyway.

“I really do baby,” said Kara, with the biggest puppy dog eyes she could manage.

“Fine. Get online and order from wherever is closest,” said Cat. She didn’t want her girlfriend to ever be hungry, and she would rather that she ate an actual meal instead of another tub of ice cream, because she knew that Kara would just be hungry again in another hour. Or maybe another ten minutes, given her metabolism.

“You have to eat too though,” said Kara. She didn’t want her girlfriend to be hungry either.

“I’m sure you can save me a few slices from your three pizzas,” said Cat. She may not love cheap pizza, but after all that walking around with nothing but a few sandwiches, she was ready to give it a try.

“Um ... I’ll get four pizzas then,” said Kara quickly. She was pretty good at estimating her hunger levels, and she didn’t think two and a half pizzas would cut it.

“I ... sure,” said Cat, shaking her head as she wondered how this girl had survived through some of the long meetings that she knew that her girlfriend had sat through with her. Kara got her phone out and in a few minutes pizza was on the way. Cat sighed and led Kara back to the couch so that they could cuddle until the food arrived. Cat was content to hold Kara in silence but Kara liked to talk, so after a minute of silence she started talking. Also, she needed to distract herself from the rampant hunger she was experiencing, and talking was usually the way she did that. That was something that Alex had discovered a while ago, which had led to her carrying around candy bars throughout school and just throwing them at her sister whenever she started rambling.

“So I was talking to Lucy and she said that Ghostbusters was really good. Do you maybe want to go see it sometime?” asked Kara. She hadn’t really been out with Cat much, and she wanted to do something together.

“Why don’t you take Carter? I think that’s more his kind of movie than mine,” said Cat. Her mother had ensured that she had an appreciation for the fine arts since she was rather young, and it was hard to enjoy a movie about people who didn’t exist when she was used to seeing metaphors for real issues. Also, she was bored senseless when there was nothing to interpret in a movie. What was she supposed to think about for two hours when there was nothing but boring, transparent conversations between characters? How was she supposed to sit through the boring ‘will good prevail over evil’ plot (because of course it would), full of action sequences that were just expensive filler shots in a movie that didn’t actually mean anything?

“Oh. Right. I suppose you like those independent films that don’t make sense?” asked Kara. She had done enough elective film courses at uni to have seen the ‘artsy’ kind of movies that she had a feeling that Cat liked. Kara had rather strongly disliked them, although always wanting to blend in she had never said anything. Even when some guy had gone on for fifteen minutes about what some smoke in a film represented. Kara thought it represented the fact that that’s what happens when there’s a fire, but apparently it was all about characters not being able to see things - the truth, reality, decent movies (Kara had added that one in her head).

“I suppose so,” said Cat lightly. She wasn’t offended that Kara didn’t share her taste in films. She had assumed as much anyway. Kara was a lot simpler than the people she was used to dating. She liked things that were easy to find and didn’t cost a lot. Cat found it rather refreshing, especially being rich. She was used to people wanting to spend as much of her money as possible, as opposed to opting for the cheapest option at every turn.

“I suppose you like opera too. Because hearing words in a language that you don’t understand for hours is so deep,” said Kara with a hint of bitterness. In truth, she was bitter. She’d let a friend from one of those stupid film elective courses drag her along to an opera. Of course she had stayed through the whole thing because she didn’t want to be rude. Never again. 

“I could criticize your stuff too, you know?” threatened Cat lightly. Just because they liked different things, didn’t mean that they had to insult each others interests. Cat believed in tolerance. Well, with the people she cared about anyway. Otherwise criticizing them was always a fun and convenient way to push people away. But she definitely wasn’t pushing Kara away anymore. 

“That’s not what I meant. It’s just ... there’s nothing we can really do together. We have completely different tastes in everything. I just ... wish that wasn’t the case,” said Kara. She had to hide so much already; she didn’t want to feel like she was hiding her girlfriend. She wanted to go out and do things with her. She wanted to scream from the rooftops how much she loved her.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s better to have time apart. That way we can’t get too sick of each other. And it means that we have something to talk about,” said Cat. She knew from experience that while dating someone with the same interests seemed like a good idea, there was such a thing as being too similar. There wasn’t much to talk about and when two people have the same strengths and weaknesses, the relationship doesn’t really add anything to your life. It was better to have people who complemented you, who could compensate for your weaknesses, rather than just listening to somebody parroting your own opinions back to you.

“I could never get sick of you,” said Kara softly. She never wanted Cat to spend less time with her so that she’d appreciate her girlfriend more. She’d always like being around her.

“Give it time,” joked Cat, although it wasn’t exactly a joke. Kara was just so naive sometimes. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean that spending every moment together would be a good idea.

“I like being around you, that’s all. Everything is more fun with you there. You see things that I don’t, which is always interesting,” said Kara. She had always liked getting Cat’s perspective. She had a whole lot of experience which Kara had always found insightful, and Cat made her feel more comfortable in a somewhat foreign world. Kara had leaned on her sister a lot throughout her childhood, and even for a while after that, but now it was mostly Cat who helped her through things.

“You know what? We can go to Ghostbusters. You can get all the snacks you and Carter can carry. But tomorrow you can come with me to a very boring party and you can listen to a bunch of investors drone on and pretend to care with me,” said Cat. She could see that Kara cared about this, and she wanted to respect her feelings, so she decided that she could sit through some boring movie if her girlfriend would stand through another boring evening. She also had a feeling that this would curb Kara’s enthusiasm for doing things together.

“Deal,” said Kara. She was excited to spend some time with her girlfriend in public. Sure, they were kind of together at the office, but they weren’t there as girlfriends, they were there as boss and employee. She wanted to be seen with her girlfriend in public and have nobody doubt what they meant to each other.

* * *

When Cat had said that the party would be boring, Kara had assumed that she was selling it short somewhat. That she had been to so many of these things that she had forgotten how impressive it all was. But, it turned out, that Cat had really been making it sound less awful than it was. It had ‘only’ been an hour - as Cat had reminded her - but Kara was already bored senseless. The guy that they were talking to had been going on about his opinions on journalism for the past twenty minutes and Kara was exercising a lot of self-control in order to not shoot laser beams at him with her eyes.

“That’s the thing about journalism,” he continued. Cat was nodding but mostly just smiling at Kara. Suffering together was always more fun. “It’s too boring. That’s why those new sites are taking over. They know what people want. Kittens and dumb quizzes! You need to do that too.” Cat wondered if this man cared at all about the millions of people suffering around the world. Like, at all. Because she didn’t like the idea of people being more informed about what Game of Thrones character they were most like than what was really happening in the world. Kara looked absolutely horrified though, which was making the whole thing much more tolerable.

“Yeah,” said Cat without any conviction. She had been repeating that phrase in that exact same way for a while now. She didn’t know if she could get through these things without alcohol. Although there was definitely a fine line between having enough so that she was more relaxed and not having so much as to actually start saying what she thought. 

“My husband thinks that we should get out of your stocks. He thinks that journalism is dead. But I know better,” he said confidently. 

“Yeah,” said Cat dryly. She felt very badly for his husband. Partly because she got the feeling he didn’t stop talking at home either, but mostly because he seemed to have full financial control and was ignoring what he wanted. That reminded her, she would have to ask what Kara wanted to do with their money at some point. Maybe she would want Cat to make the decisions, but she should ask. Not today, not tomorrow, but down the line they’d need to have a real conversation about money in general. She remembered that Kara had issues about that, so she wanted to be sensitive to it. She was thinking about giving Kara a nice big chunk of money, maybe in a trust fund, so that she never had to worry about housing affordability or anything like that again. Of course, when they got married Kara would just get access to her money anyway so maybe that was unnecessary. She realized that she just thought ‘when’, not ‘if’, and she wondered when that happened. She also wondered if Kara felt the same. She supposed that now that she had to be emotionally honest, she’d have to actually ask her soon and risk getting hurt because it was entirely likely that Kara wasn’t even close to that point. Well, that was a problem for another day, Cat thought, taking another sip of Champagne. 

“Anyway, I should probably go home to him. He worries if I’m out too late. He always thinks I’ve been beaten up or shot or something,” he said. He said it kind of like a joke, but it was obvious that he wasn’t really joking. Although it would be hard to live while being scared all the time, so he had decided a while ago that he was going to just not worry about it, although his husband had taken a more proactive ‘always be prepared’ approach, which led to them taking a lot of self-defense classes.

“Yeah,” said Cat sincerely for the first time in their conversation. She knew what it was like to wait for someone to come home and hope that they hadn’t been killed. Kara wasn’t the first girlfriend she’d had that experience with either. Cat looked at Kara’s bored expression and realized that she didn’t really have that experience. Cat was glad that her girlfriend didn’t know what that felt like. It was one of that advantages to dating someone in Kara’s generation, she thought. 

The man finally left Cat alone only to have a woman come up to her five seconds later. “Cat! You know, I just saw this thing on Buzzfeed and I really think you should take a look at it. Wait, I’ll get it up on my phone,” started the woman. Cat sighed but watching Kara’s face made her smile. It was something between horror and shock.

* * *

“That was awful,” said Kara the second they were in the car. Cat chuckled as she told the driver to take them home ASAP. “I mean, how many of these things do you go to?” asked Kara, still horrified. She had organized her schedule for a long time, so she kind of knew the answer. But part of her still hoped that all those other ones had been way better and that this was a weirdly painful one-off.

“Too many. But it’s the job. Public companies have a lot invested in shareholders. We need to keep them happy,” said Cat. She had been the CEO of Cat Co. for a long time. She knew what it took to succeed in business, and a lot of it came down to the influence of rich people. And rich people always liked a good party where people told them how great they were.

“I could never do that,” said Kara. Cat thought that that was probably true. Kara would make a good journalist, but her heart was too pure for business. She would never exploit people, or even mislead them. And she could barely stomach one boring evening.

“Well, darling, you don’t have to. It was nice having you there though,” said Cat. She certainly did find the whole thing much easier with Kara by her side, holding her, and refilling her Champagne glass. Although she didn’t expect Kara to do it again. She had a good feeling about killing Kara’s desire to spend more time with her in public. The reality was that her time really did equate with a lot of money - and the company expected her to spend her time making them more money. It didn’t create an ideal environment to bring your significant other to. 

“Yeah, well, I might have hated it but it was still nice being close to you,” said Kara, instantly moving to snuggle into Cat’s arms. Suddenly, Kara’s phone rang. “Hey Alex,” said Kara, deflated. Kara quickly pulled away from her while Cat sighed; she was sick of Kara getting called away to the DEO at these ridiculous hours. “What? I’ll be right there,” said Kara, hanging up the phone. “I have to go. Let me out,” said Kara, sounding almost desperate.

“What happened?” asked Cat, feeling like Kara was more panicked than usual. She hoped that nothing bad had happened.

“I ... I’m not sure yet. I’ll tell you when I get back,” said Kara, trying to sound more in control as to not worry her girlfriend. The car quickly stopped, and Kara rushed out, then flew off towards the DEO as fast as she could. Cat wondered if Kara was aware that anybody could be taking images of the sky and see a flying Kara Danvers. Although, the girl didn’t even wear a mask and she hadn’t been found out yet, so maybe Cat was just being paranoid.

* * *

“Aunt Astra?” said Kara, shocked. She was looking at her Aunt, who she had watched die, currently eating one of Alex’s favorite chocolate puddings. Astra stuffed the last of it in her mouth and then tossed the container towards a slightly stunned Alex, reacting slightly late but still catching it, although she just managed to grab it at an awkward angle with one hand. This whole day had been a bit of a shock; her reflexes were a little slow.

“Little One,” said Astra softly. Kara ran into her arms and Astra quickly held her niece in a long overdue hug. No matter what had happened between them, Astra had always loved her niece.

“How?” asked Kara. She couldn’t believe this. She had so many questions, but that seemed like a good place to start.

“She was at Cadmus,” said Alex softly. Kara pulled away slightly then to look over her aunt.

“What did they do to you?” asked Kara, already feeling sick. She knew that the doctors there did awful things. Astra had already been through so much; she hated that she had suffered even more.

“It doesn’t matter, Little One. I’m okay now. The Brave One rescued me and put me under your lamps. She also introduced me to some of Earth’s desserts,” said Astra happily. She didn’t want to dwell on what had happened. She was rather desperately trying to force it from her mind. Because she was safe now. She was okay now. 

“She stabbed you,” said Kara bitterly. How could Astra be so calm about everything? She was only there because of Alex.

“Well, I was about to kill her friend, Little One. An action I deeply regret. I regret everything I’ve done since I’ve gotten here, actually. But I intend to ... ‘turn over a new leaf’ I believe is the expression,” said Astra. Alex just smiled and nodded. She could tell that Astra was trying to repress her trauma, and she intended to let her. It would all come out eventually, but right now Astra didn’t feel like she could deal with it, so they had spent their time eating puddings and learning English expressions.

“So you’re not going to lock her up?” asked Kara hopefully at Alex. She didn’t know what she’d do if Alex took Astra away from her again. She wasn’t sure if she could forgive her again.

“No, we decided that she’d be a great asset. It’s like having another Supergirl around,” said Alex. She had argued for about an hour with a whole lot of people who wanted to imprison the ‘dangerous alien’. But Alex had stressed that keeping her around was full of advantages, and that they could always shoot her up with Kryptonite if needed (Alex was forced to agree to that bit). 

“I’m not wearing that outfit though. No offense, Little One, but it’s not for me. Although, maybe for you ...” said Astra, smirking at Alex. She had always liked that Agent, and now that she had saved her from that hell and they were finally on the same side, now seemed like a good time to go for it. She had noticed Alex’s glances since they first met, but it wouldn’t have been smart for either of them to act on their attraction then.

“I ... um ... the ... we’ll get you something nice and all-black,” said Alex, visibly flushed. Kara felt a desperate need to escape from the room. She didn’t need to think about her aunt like that. Especially not with her sister. But she still had more questions that she needed to ask, so she ignored her aunt’s wandering eyes. Or tried to, anyway.

“So you got to Cadmus? Was your dad there?” Kara asked Alex. He was never exactly a father to Kara, because she remembered her father, but he was an important part of her life and she wanted him to be okay.

“Yeah, we got him too. I had an Agent take him back home. He’s not going to be ready for visitors for a while though. He has pretty bad PTSD,” said Alex. He had been there a long time. When Alex got to him he was just shaking on the ground, talking to himself. He didn’t seem to believe anything was real, or that he was safe now, and Alex really hoped that one day he could feel okay. Well, maybe ‘okay’ was too much to hope for, but better.

“I understand,” said Kara. She wanted to see him again, but she would never prioritize that desire over the man’s health. 

“So ... there were quite a lot of prisoners there, as you can imagine. And ... there were a few surprises. Astra being one,” said Alex slowly. She had some more news that she wasn’t sure how Kara was going to react to. 

“Okay, just stop dancing around whatever it is and tell me,” said Kara. She knew when Alex was having trouble telling her something, because she was usually so direct.

“Um ... maybe you should,” said Alex, looking at Astra. Astra just nodded while Alex stepped back a bit and Astra put a comforting hand on her niece’s shoulder.

“Little One, this is going to be a bit of a shock. You have to understand that this place was some kind of research facility. And ... one type of study is called a twin study. It’s a good way to see the effects of something on people with the same genetics, so you can be sure that what you’re seeing is the result of what you did and not just different people. And this doctor ... she somehow got her hands on something that could go to different space-time points and ... she brought back your mother. From seconds before Krypton exploded. She’s alive, Little One,” said Astra. She didn’t really know how she felt about the sister who had condemned her to another hell being alive, but then again, she didn’t really know how she felt about anything right now.

“I ... can I see her?” asked Kara, stunned. Just then, Lucy walked in. Following behind her was Alura, looking vaguely disoriented but very much alive. “MUM!” said Kara, running into her mother’s arms. Alura looked vaguely taken aback by the loud noise, but she quickly recovered and moved to embrace the woman who she assumed to be her suddenly much older daughter. 

“Hello Kara,” said Alura reverently, holding her daughter as tightly as she could. She couldn’t quite believe that her daughter was alive, that she’d made it, that she was a grown woman in front of her. 

“I missed you so much mum,” said Kara, tightening her grip around her mother. It felt so good to hug somebody without worrying about breaking them. 

“I missed you more,” said Alura sincerely. It had only been a year since she’d sent Kara away, but it was agonizing having to wonder whether her child was even still alive or not. 

“Okay, so Alura will be staying with me for a while until we get her a job somehow. You’re obviously welcome to visit anytime, Kara. I know you two must have a lot that you want to say to each other but it’s late and everyone needs to go home. So I’m giving you half an hour and then we’re leaving, okay?” asked Lucy. She had volunteered to look after Alura after Alex had taken Astra. She wanted her to be around someone Kara trusted, and Alex was clearly going to have her hands full with one Kryptonian. Also, she didn’t think it was a good idea to put those two sisters together. Astra hadn’t even said anything particularly aggressive to her sister, but Lucy could tell that there was some resentment there. 

“Okay,” they both said together, still content just to stay still for a minute while everything sunk in.

* * *

Kara came home fairly late, as usual, but when Cat looked at her she seemed to be brighter than usual. “Did something exciting happen?” asked Cat. Either the news really wasn’t that bad, or Kara was about to have a nervous breakdown.

“How much do you know about Einstein’s theory of space-time co-ordinates?” asked Kara. She didn’t really know where to start.

“Um ... not a lot,” said Cat, confused at her girlfriend’s sudden interest in physics. She also wasn’t sure if she should start to be concerned or not.

“Well ... the point is ... my mum’s still alive,” said Kara, deciding from Cat’s face that she didn’t really want a technical explanation of events.

“What?” asked Cat, rather confused. 

“She got pulled from time and ... it’s all rather confusing, but she’s alive, baby. And so is my Aunt. I can’t believe it. I actually have family alive again,” said Kara, her face full of wonder. Getting to hold her mother again was possibly the best moment of her life. Especially given that she’d had to see that AI in the form of her mother practically taunting her for so long.

“That’s ... incredible,” said Cat, unsure what else to say. She was certainly glad that it was good news. 

“It really is. I can’t believe it,” said Kara, still half-wondering if this was all a dream, because it just seemed too good to be true.

“So do you want tomorrow off to go see her?” asked Cat, wanting to do something nice for her girlfriend. There were advantages to dating the CEO of the company. Although there were probably more disadvantages, so Cat wanted to give her a few perks.

“Oh, no, I have so much to do baby. Seriously, where did you find some of these journalists? One of them sends me all their drafts in Comic Sans,” said Kara, vaguely annoyed. Did he think he was being funny? Did he think it was an appropriate font? Kara didn’t care, she just wanted him to stop using it, but she was too shy as Kara Danvers to bring it up.

“Okay, it was just an idea. So do I get to meet her?” asked Cat shyly. She was pretty sure that Kara was serious about her, but she was always nervous about putting her feelings out there. Although being in a relationship meant that she had to risk getting hurt, because without communicating how you feel it isn’t much of a relationship.

“Well, sure, if you want. I’ve never met your mother though ... well, not like that,” said Kara. She had never enjoyed Cat’s mother being in the building, and she had a feeling that her demeanor wouldn’t change just because they were dating. Cat wasn’t like her mother. She could be affectionate with the people that she was close to. But Kara had watched Cat’s mother do nothing but push away her amazing daughter and it really frustrated her.

“Oh, darling, my mother wouldn’t want to meet you. Or me, actually. She didn’t take the news of my sexuality very well,” said Cat. She didn’t feel the need to repeat the words that her mother had used so she decided to summarize the idea of all the slurs and insults her mother had hurled at her.

“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” asked Kara. She hated how distant Cat could be. She wanted her to open up to her so that they could deal with things together. Cat always wanted Kara to tell her things, but she also seemed to want to internalize all of her own problems.

“It doesn’t matter. You’ve met her. She is, and has always been, a rather awful parent, and honestly I’m better off without her. I should have disowned her long before she disowned me,” said Cat. Cat wondered if she kept repeating that in her head long enough she’d finally start feeling better about it. It might make logical sense, but emotions had a way of not being very logical. 

“You didn’t want me to feel bad. That’s why, isn’t it?” asked Kara with a knowing look. She knew that Cat always wanted to spare Kara pain, but not communicating didn’t really help anyone.

“Well ... yes, but you shouldn’t feel bad, because she doesn’t hate you, she hates me, and the fact that she knows this about me because I’m with you really doesn’t have anything to do with it, and even if it did it’s really my doing so ...” said Cat, stopping her sentence abruptly, suddenly aware that Kara had made her way across the room and was now kissing her. She very quickly kissed back, but she had to stop because Kara pulled away moments later.

“I get it. And I don’t feel bad. But next time something bad happens, will you tell me?” pleaded Kara gently. She didn’t want Cat to go through these things alone just because she thought that Kara would be hurt. Kara wanted to be there for her girlfriend.

“Okay,” promised Cat. She knew she had to do better at communicating. And she would. If it was what Kara wanted, she would.

“So how are you really feeling?” asked Kara. If anyone understood complicated family dynamics, it was her. Cat’s mother did seem awful, but most people had trouble letting awful people go. There were always bits that they liked about them, and they would go through a lot of pain just to cling on to those bits. Maybe because they were scared that they wouldn’t find anybody better, maybe because they had developed a connection that would hurt to let go, or maybe just because moving on and letting go of the past could be hard.

“Well, I’m not thrilled,” admitted Cat softly. She had hoped that her mother would love her for who she was. It was naive, really. She had heard her mothers opinions about her sexuality her whole life, although her mother had never known that she was actually talking about her daughter. Cat supposed that she had hoped that she would come around, although really, she should have known that that wasn’t going to happen.

“You know it’s okay to have emotions, right? You can talk to me,” said Kara gently. She was hoping for more than a four word answer. She knew that Cat’s mother had always seemed to want Cat to be completely emotionless, although she clearly wasn’t, but Kara wanted her to know that she didn’t need to repress her emotions anymore. Not with her.

“Okay, so I’m sad. She’s known me my whole life. And now she’s just gone from it. And I know that she was a pretty bad parent. But she got some things right. She introduced me to literature, and even though I didn’t exactly end up there, I came pretty close. We both like nice things. We’re not that different, really. And I’ve made so many mistakes in my life and she forgave all of them. But loving you, the nicest woman I’ve ever met, that’s where she draws the line? I just ...” Cat didn’t know when it started exactly but she was definitely crying now and Kara was holding her close. Kara easily lifted Cat up and put her down on the bed so that she could lie on Kara’s chest under the warm covers. She didn’t know if there was anything that she could say to make anything better, so she just held her crying girlfriend and hoped that it helped. It did, but Cat was too busy falling apart to express that.

* * *

Astra had not been fed very well at Cadmus. Somehow the Doctor had decided that nutrition wasn’t a valid variable, which annoyed Alex both as an ethical person and as a scientist. Alex had gone shopping with Astra and brought a car-full of food home, and was currently watching Astra devour absolutely all of it. Alex was glad for Astra’s heat vision, because she didn’t think that Astra could wait the 20 minutes required to heat these pizzas up normally.

“Do I need to get you more? Some places will still be open,” said Alex. She didn’t love going out this late at night - but she had a habit of making exceptions to that rule for hungry Kryptonians.

“No, I think I’m about done, Brave One. Thank you for feeding me,” said Astra with so much sincerity it made Alex mad all over again. How could anyone think this was okay? She knew that she had left Astra to be tortured before, but it wasn’t like there was anything that she could really do then. She couldn’t take out a military base by herself, let alone outrun the entire US government that would come after her for ‘justice’. But if she ever caught up to General Lane, she was going to try to make him more empathetic to suffering. By punching him. Repeatedly.

“Don’t mention it. I’ll get you some more tomorrow then. You lost a lot of weight so you should expect to need to eat more than usual for a while,” said Alex. Astra nodded and then yawned involuntarily. She had also been sleep deprived for a while. “Let’s get you to bed,” said Alex. She knew that Astra had super healing but even that only went so far. She needed to rest.

“Oh? I thought you’d never ask,” said Astra smirking. Alex blushed and waited a few seconds for her mind to function again. She really didn’t know what to make of what Astra was doing. She had to have been traumatized by everything, but all she wanted to do was eat and flirt. Alex wondered how bad it was going to be when Astra finally couldn’t repress everything anymore. She supposed she’d find out soon enough.

“I ... I’ll sleep on the couch. You can take my bed,” said Alex. She would never take advantage of someone, and even though you wouldn’t know it by looking at her, Astra was as vulnerable as it gets. She was in no way able to make a competent decision about anything, let alone enter any kind of relationship. 

“How about you sleep in your own bed too?” pressed Astra again. She was pretty sure that Alex was attracted to her too, so she wasn’t really sure why Alex wasn’t taking her up on her offer. They were on the same side now. There was nothing stopping them from acting on it anymore. And after everything that she had been through, Astra could really see the appeal in some loving affection right now. She was also hoping that Alex could help her take her mind off of the thoughts that she was trying to keep down.

“Astra, you have been tortured for months. You are sleep deprived. You are nutrient deprived in God knows how many things. You need time to heal. And when you’re feeling a lot better, we can talk about what we want. But until then, I am here to take care of you, and I want you to understand that that is absolutely not dependent on you sleeping with me, or doing anything else. So you are going to sleep in a nice, warm bed ... alone, okay?” asked Alex. She wanted Astra to understand that this was by no means a rejection, but definitely a rejection for now.

“Okay, Brave One,” sighed Astra. She appreciated Alex’s concern, but she would much rather distract herself with something fun than wallow in her pain. 

Alex showed Astra her room, gave her some comfortable clothes to wear, and then shut the door. Astra looked at her new accommodation. It was probably the nicest thing she’d had for a long time. She sat down on the bed. It was soft. Too soft. She didn’t know if she could even sleep on this. She had gotten used to sleeping on a cement floor, trying to drown out the sound of screams. But now it was mostly quiet, although there were vague noises that made her jump as she worried if they were something else coming to hurt her.

She realized very quickly that it didn’t matter that the bed was too soft. She wasn’t going to sleep. She sat down in the corner of her room, facing the door so that she couldn’t be surprised by an enemy, and curled up into a ball, holding her arms tightly around herself since it was the closest she could get to physical comfort, as she felt herself shaking uncontrollably. She told herself that she was being stupid, that she was safe now. But her body didn’t seem to care, because her heart didn’t stop pounding, and she couldn’t stop shaking, and she couldn’t help but feel terrified.

* * *

Lucy was showing Alura around her apartment. She had to explain basically everything. “And this is a microwave. You put food in it to heat it up,” said Lucy, finally at the end of the tour. It had been a rather exhausting hour, with Alura being unable to contain her murmered comments about how everything was a bit primitive.

“Ah, I think we had these on Krypton,” said Alura lightly. She may have never touched a kitchen appliance in her life, but she was aware that they existed. 

“They might have been better than ours? Like, food has a way of being cold in the middle. So you just cook it for a bit longer and hope you don’t overcook the rest of it. Or cut stuff up a lot,” said Lucy. Growing up her parents had been away a lot, so she had ended up with a lot of experience in microwave cooking. She didn’t really know how to do anything else. She didn’t really mind though. It was better than what they usually served in the military anyway.

“I ... I suppose we didn’t have these on Krypton either then,” said Alura in a slightly disappointed tone. She didn’t really miss her home. She’d been disenfranchised with Krypton for a while now. But she missed decent technology. And she missed understanding how things worked. She missed having a job. She missed being a native speaker of a language, and not needing to ask people what a seemingly never-ending amount of expressions - that really didn’t make any sense - meant. 

“Well, not to worry. You’ll get to see it in action. What do you feel like? I have quite a range of frozen food. And I know from Kara how much you need to eat, so feel free to pick like ... five,” said Lucy. She wasn’t sure how aware Alura was of her physiology on Earth, and she wanted to make sure that she ate enough.

“I suppose I could eat something,” said Alura, opening the freezer door. She was pretty hungry, but at the same time her taste buds hadn’t adjusted to human food yet, so she didn’t really want to eat any of this stuff. She was really hungry though. “How about this?” asked Alura, holding up a bag of fries. It vaguely resembled something that she knew from Krypton, although she was already sure that she wouldn’t like it as much. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she did miss her home. She did miss the food there.

“Um ... sure,” said Lucy, smiling. Like mother, like daughter, she supposed. “Now this has to go in the oven, because the microwave makes everything soft,” explained Lucy when she saw Alura’s confused look. Alura couldn’t believe how many machines humans used to heat things up. It was absurd.

“That seems like a pretty big design flaw,” commented Alura. She did miss her home. Even if it was problematic. Even if she knew she couldn’t have it back. She didn’t know how to suddenly adjust to an entirely new way of life. And she knew that she should be grateful that these people saved her, that they were looking after her, that they were teaching her. But she didn’t want to learn about this place. She wanted to go back to the life that she knew, that she worked hard for, that had a lot of things that she liked that apparently she could never get back.

“Well, so is drilling your planet until it kills your entire population,” said Lucy dryly. She was getting a little sick of Alura’s constant criticisms of Earth. As if Krypton was so perfect. Besides, she was here for a reason. She couldn’t live on Krypton. She had to adjust to being here.

“I ... suppose,” said Alura, slightly taken aback. She was used to being in charge. People on Krypton would never talk to her like Lucy just did. But this wasn’t Krypton, and Alura supposed that maybe it was good to have someone around who challenged her so freely. Although, she had a feeling that she’d only really like it from Lucy. There was something about that girl Alura couldn’t help but like. She was strong, but also caring, and she had some very nice muscles that Alura couldn’t stop staring at. 

“Okay, so this will take about half an hour ...” started Lucy, putting the chips on a tray.

“HALF AN HOUR?” yelled Alura in horror. Unless Alura had learned the time structure on Earth wrongly, and she was pretty sure that she hadn’t, that was a really long time.

“Yes?” said Lucy, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. She braced herself for another complaint about how bad Earth was.

“That ... that is ridiculous,” said Alura simply. She had thought that the twenty second waiting times on Krypton were a real inconvenience. This was just absurd.

“Well, unless you have a better idea, you’re just going to have to wait,” said Lucy flatly. 

“I think I do,” said Alura, smiling as she fried a chip in seconds with her laser vision. She then promptly put it into her mouth and swallowed it down quickly. “Mm. Crunchy,” remarked Alura as she began frying the entire tray. These weren’t half bad. They weren’t like Krypton, but they were a definite improvement on what she’d been fed before. Also, now that she had actually put something in her mouth, she realized just how starving she was.

“Of course,” sighed Lucy, grabbing a few chips for herself. She had to admit that this was better than waiting thirty minutes. Maybe Alura wouldn’t be so bad after all. Besides, she knew that she needed time to adjust. She couldn’t expect somebody to learn a new way of life overnight.

She took a few more chips and scoffed them down. She was hungrier than she had thought too. This entire day had been an adrenaline rush. From finding Cadmus, to finding Kara’s family, to rushing a whole lot of aliens to critical care, although they knew most of them couldn’t survive the extensive damage they had suffered. It all just felt exhausting now. She grabbed at another chip but accidentally hit the hot tray, and pulled back her hand in pain with a hiss.

“What happened?” asked Alura, concerned. The perks of being noble meant that Alura had never cooked a day in her life. She had also never been exposed to any real danger. She was unaccustomed to seeing any kind of injuries. Even though she had sent a lot of people to war who had died and been critically injured, it was never something she actually had to experience.

“It’s just a little burn. It’s fine. I just need to run it under cold water so it stops burning any more skin,” said Lucy. Alura used her super speed to grab Lucy, lift her, go over to the sink, put her down, turn the water on and hold Lucy’s wrist so that the stream of water hit her burn. Lucy hissed in pain a little at the contact, but she said nothing. She then realized that Alura’s body was pressed right up against hers, seemingly unnecessarily, as she held Lucy’s arm under the water. Lucy forced out a breath. She had always been a sucker for people who showed any interest in taking care of her. It was a rather rare change of pace in her life, given that her family, nor anybody else, really seemed to put any time into making sure that she was okay. And she couldn’t help but suddenly notice how good Alura looked in a tank top and jeans.

“Is this right?” asked Alura, completely untrained in even Kryptonian first-aid and sure that like everything else here she’d done something wrong. And she definitely didn’t want to do anything wrong with Lucy.

“Yeah, I just need to keep it there for a bit. Although, you don’t really need to hold me in place,” said Lucy reluctantly. She didn’t really want Alura to move, but she didn’t want to take advantage of her either. 

“Right,” said Alura, shyly pulling away. She retreated back to her chips and started devouring the whole tray. She may have been hungrier than she had thought. 

“So have you thought about what you want to do?” asked Lucy. She had to be traumatized, even if it wasn’t outwardly obvious. She’d seen the injuries on some of the prisoners there; it was undoubtedly a scarring experience. But she didn’t want to push Alura into talking about anything that she didn’t want to, and she certainly didn’t seem to want to talk about it, so she decided to keep the focus on something else.

“What am I supposed to do?” asked Alura. Her whole life she had just followed the path laid out for her; she didn’t know what she wanted to do with her new found freedom. She didn’t even know what she could do in this new world. 

“You’re not supposed to do anything. You can pick. We can make you a Superhero like Kara. We can set you up with fake documents so that you can get a normal job. Maybe we should just sit down tomorrow. I’ll tell you about all the stuff that’s on this planet and we can see if any of it appeals to you,” suggested Lucy.

“Okay,” said Alura unconvincingly. She was glad to be free, she really was, but there was a nice simplicity to being locked up. She didn’t have to make any decisions. Which came with a nice sense of relief after years of knowing that every bad decision she made would hurt so many people. Now she supposed that this decision wouldn’t hurt anyone but herself if she made the wrong one. In a way, that was more terrifying. She’d never actually been the one who could get hurt. Well, except on the last day of Krypton. And even that she escaped.

“Well, I think it’s time to go to bed. I mean, not, like, together, obviously, I ...” started Lucy, turning the tap off and wondering if her poor choice of words was a result of the shock of the burn, or just her own general ability to put her foot in her mouth. Probably the latter.

“I understand what you meant,” said Alura, cutting her off despite how much she realized that she liked seeing Lucy flustered. 

“Great. Okay. I have a spare room ... which is something that you know, because I showed it to you ... so that’s your room, you know, while you’re here ... obviously. Okay, goodnight Alura,” said Lucy, mentally kicking herself over her inability to be cool around the people that she was attracted to as she walked into her room, shut the door, and softly pressed her head into the wall a few times. 

“Goodnight Lucy,” said Alura, smiling at the very cute human woman as she practically fled the room to get away from her. Alura sighed. Why could she never fall for anyone who liked her back?

She walked to the room that she remembered Lucy telling her would be hers for a while and shut the door. It was certainly nicer than what she had in Cadmus, but it certainly wasn’t like Krypton either. Still, she was tired, so she didn’t think she’d have any trouble falling asleep. She had been told by a doctor at the DEO that she might have trouble readjusting because of the trauma, but she didn’t feel scared. She just felt numb. Part of her was still expecting to wake up and find herself right back at Cadmus anyway. It wouldn’t be the first time she’d had tricks played on her mind. But questioning whether or not things were real didn’t feel sane, so she hadn’t brought that up to anybody. Besides, if it was all just a hallucination, it was a pretty nice one, so she didn’t mind going along with it. 

She changed into some more comfortable clothing and lay down on the bed. It was soft, and it was nice and warm. It was also relatively quiet; she didn’t have to listen to people screaming in agony, making her remember that she would be in that pain soon - as if she could ever forget anyway. It was odd to suddenly be free of it all, and yet it was strangely anti-climatic. It wasn’t like the end of a movie, where people got rescued and then everything faded to black. Life just kept going on. She needed a job now. She needed to adjust to a whole new way of life. She had to come to terms with the fact that almost everybody she ever knew was dead, and she was just supposed to go on. She still had a daughter, but she’d missed half of her life. She was probably a whole different person by now. It was just overwhelming. So Alura just closed her eyes and tried to think of absolutely nothing, letting sleep take away her thoughts.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm basically just completely ignoring season 2 for the purposes of this story. I love Maggie x Alex, but I started writing Astra x Alex, so I think I'll just keep going with that. 
> 
> Also, comments are always good; it's nice to know what people think.

Cat had spent most of the night crying. She hadn’t really said any more; she had just been content to stay in Kara’s embrace. She couldn’t help but feel vulnerable; letting out all this emotion in front of another person was not something that she was used to being told was okay. But she trusted Kara, despite all her bad experience with other people, and she didn’t really want to have to hide her emotions from her girlfriend. If she was sad, she was allowed to be sad. She always hid everything at work, she didn’t need to try to continue that facade at home too. 

Kara had been surprised when Cat had started crying. She had seen a few tears run down her cheek before, although they were quickly wiped away, but Cat had never let Kara see her like this before. She had hoped that Cat might open up to her a little more, but this was definitely beyond her wildest expectations at this point in their relationship. She knew that Cat was devastated, but she couldn’t help but smile. Her girlfriend had finally been able to open up to her, to let her see her vulnerable, and most importantly, to let Kara be there for her.

Cat had finally gotten to sleep around midnight, and Kara had soon followed once she heard Cat’s heartbeat fall into the tell-tale slower rhythm of rest. She had finally been able to sleep through the night, since no calls from the DEO came in the middle of the night to wake her up. Of course, Kara’s normal job with Cat Co. started fairly early, so she was out the door before her girlfriend woke up anyway.

When Cat woke up without her girlfriend, she couldn’t help but panic for a few minutes. She had so many reservations about letting anybody see her being emotional, and after last night she could have used some reassurance when she woke up that everything was still okay. Her entire life was filled with people telling her to shove her emotions down. From her mother, who told her to ‘stop being so dramatic’, to other people she’d had relationships with, who told her to ‘tone it down’, ‘just cheer up’, ‘it’s not that bad’, ‘other people have it worse, you know’, or that ‘women were just so emotional’. But she knew that Kara wasn’t like that. Kara always wanted to know how Cat really was. Kara loved her. She supported her. She had pushed her to open up to her so that she could be there for her. She didn’t have to worry. At least, that’s what she told herself.

* * *

Alex woke up a little earlier than usual. She had set her alarm an hour before she usually would so that she could account for Astra. She had imagined that she may need to buy another cart full of groceries. She reluctantly got out of bed when it was still dark and stumbled towards the shower, incoherently grumbling about who put that box there when she stumbled over it.

* * *

Astra hadn’t moved from her spot on the floor. She hadn’t even been able to close her eyes for one moment. She could hear everything within a ten block radius, and it all blurred together and felt like it was all happening right outside her door. She heard people speak and she had to remind herself not to speak back, because they couldn’t hear her. She heard doors opening and she told herself over and over again that it wasn’t in her house, but her pounding heart didn’t seem to get the memo, because it just kept beating like she was running a marathon.

“Astra? Can I come in?” she heard, although she ignored it like everything else. It wasn’t real, she kept telling herself, repeating those words in her head over and over again in the hope that at some point she would believe it. Then suddenly the door that she had been staring at for so many hours opened and there was Alex, rushing towards her. Astra’s instinct was to tense up at someone coming toward her, although she kept reminding herself that Alex wasn’t going to hurt her again. But her brain just kept telling her ‘how do you know that?’ and since Astra couldn’t predict the future, the reality was that she didn’t. “Astra, tell me how I can help,” said Alex, kneeling down close to her but being careful not to touch her. She knew that Astra didn’t feel that comfortable around her normally, and she certainly didn’t seem to be looking for physical affection now. Despite her earlier flirting, Alex knew that Astra had just been in a bad place, and anything she said or did during that time wasn’t really valid. They weren’t even really friends, so Alex was careful to maintain a respectful boundary, and to not take advantage of the woman in front of her by doing something that she didn’t want but was just too fragile to push back on.

“I don’t think you can,” said Astra softly. It wasn’t a criticism, but she didn’t think that anybody could help. She didn’t know what could possibly make this better. A mind wipe, maybe. But at the same time, Astra didn’t actually want to lose part of herself. She just wanted the terror to stop. Just for a minute. Just for a second. Just to take one steady breath. She was breathing quickly but it still felt like it wasn’t enough, so she just kept trying to force air in and out of her lungs faster.

“There’s medication that can help. I have some in the bathroom. The doctors gave it to me in case this happened,” said Alex. She tried to sound confident, but she just hoped that it would work. They hadn’t actually tried it on Astra, so there was really no way of knowing if it would be effective. And their sample size of Kryptonians to test it on was pretty small, so they didn’t really know if it was highly effective on Kryptonians, or if the 5 people they tested it on just happened to be very responsive although most people wouldn’t be. Also, they had actually just given her a general sedative to knock her out if she got ‘out of control’, but Alex was hoping that at a lower dose it would provide relief from anxiety. 

“No injections,” said Astra firmly, still unable to get the images of previous injections out of her mind. One of which Alex was present for. She started shaking a little harder at those memories, as her thoughts repeated ‘she’s going to hurt you’ again and again and again. She tightened the hold she had around herself, hoping that somehow it would make her feel a little safer. Even though it wasn’t working, it was all that she could think of to try to calm down. She just wanted the terror to go away so badly. The sound of her heart thudding constantly made her wonder if she was having a heart attack, but like everything else she was feeling, that was probably crazy.

“Astra, this isn’t like the others. It won’t cause you pain. It will help,” said Alex, trying to be reassuring. She looked at the woman shaking on the floor and she knew that she couldn’t leave her like this. She was clearly in distress, and Alex had to at least try to fix it.

“No,” said Astra flatly. She couldn’t ignore the fear this time. She didn’t want somebody that she barely even knew to give her anything. She didn’t know if there was even anyone on this planet she could trust to give her a single injection. She didn’t want to go through more pain. She didn’t think she could take it.

“Astra, you’re not actually able to make a competent decision right now. Which means that somebody who can has to do it for you. And since your entire species basically has no rights here, and I’m the doctor with you right now, that’s me. So I’m going to get you something to help you calm down, and I hope that at some point you realize that this is in your best interests,” said Alex, slowly getting up. She couldn’t leave somebody in distress, even if they claimed not to want her help. 

“Haven’t you done enough to me? You have locked me up, tortured me, and killed me. And now I don’t even get to have a say in what happens to me? You’re just like the doctor you rescued me from!” shouted Astra. It didn’t really have any of her usual power; she just sounded desperate. Which she was. She just wanted Alex to leave her alone and not touch her. At the thought of all the ways that Alex could hurt her, she started breathing faster and faster, although it felt like the air wasn’t really going in. ‘She’s going to kill you’ was all Astra could think as she looked at the woman standing over her.

“I’ll be right back,” said Alex softly. She didn’t think it would do any good to try to reason with Astra now. She wasn’t thinking clearly - she was sleep deprived, traumatized, and having a panic attack. She quickly left the room, grabbed her equipment, and then hurried back. Astra was right where she left her, although her glare had a tad more venom in it. It certainly didn’t inspire the fear it used to though.

“You should have just left me there. At least then I didn’t have any false hope about being treated better one day,” said Astra angrily. Alex ignored the statement as she slowly got down to Astra’s level and tried to get close without actually touching her.

“Okay, so I’m going to have to hold your arm still because you’re shaking and if this goes in the wrong place ... well, that’s bad. You’ll also feel the needle go in, and because of your sensitivity on this planet you might feel it a lot more intensely than most people, but it’ll make you feel a lot better very quickly. This will all be over in twenty seconds,” said Alex softly. She grabbed the Kryptonite-laced needle which already had a full dose of the drug in it and held her arm steady as she pushed the needle in. She felt Astra try to pull away, but due to the proximity to the Kryptonite, Alex could hold her steady enough that there was no damage to Astra. She pushed the dose into her a little faster than normal just to try to get it over with as fast as possible for Astra. She then pulled the needle out and put the lead-lined cap on it. “Just give it a few minutes to kick in,” said Alex, removing her hand from Astra but still staying close to her.

“I suppose I’m going to wake up back in that cell you put me in last time,” accused Astra. She was kicking herself for letting Alex get this close. For letting anybody get close. Of course they’d hurt her. Everyone always did. 

“I know it’s hard to trust people after everything that you’ve been through. But over time I hope that we’ll earn that trust,” said Alex gently. She looked for any sign that the drug was working, although of course there wasn’t yet. Astra was just sitting there shaking, looking as terrified as ever.

Astra had decided that she was done talking. She had no interest in telling her new captors anything. Alex didn’t try to say anything either; she didn’t know what she could say to make anything better.

Ten minutes later, Astra decided that maybe Alex wasn’t going to hurt her. She hadn’t yet. “I don’t think I’ll ever trust anything ever again,” said Astra softly, feeling her anger ebb somewhat. She didn’t really mean to be honest; it just came out.

“Give it time,” said Alex, hoping that Astra would be able to trust again but trying to sound more certain. At least the drugs seemed to be working; Astra seemed to be shaking a little less and her voice seemed a bit steadier.

“I don’t think I have anyone left to trust. You’ve locked up my husband. The rest of my family hates me ... or is just dead,” said Astra, slightly calmer than before. She didn’t feel like Alex was really a threat now; she didn’t really know why. But she’d looked after her for this long, so there was no real reason to think that she was suddenly going to change her mind and imprison her.

“Kara doesn’t hate you. I doubt Alura does either. And if it means anything, I don’t hate you,” said Alex calmly, relieved to watch Astra’s shaking finally subside. She didn’t enjoy watching anybody suffer. 

“I ... I’m tired,” said Astra, surprised. After the intense fear was no longer controlling every thought and feeling in Astra’s head, she could feel the exhaustion that had been buried beneath it. She thought that she finally might be able to sleep.

“Astra ... you need to come to the DEO now. It’s part of your immunity agreement. And it’s a little early to start calling in sick. Believe me, I wish you didn’t have to do this, but a lot of people are looking for any excuse to do everything you’re afraid of,” said Alex regretfully. She didn’t want to scare Astra, but she didn’t want to lie about the actual danger either. If Astra knew that she lied about something, she might never trust her again. And she really didn’t want that.

“It’s okay, Brave One. I’ve been through worse,” said Astra stoically, standing up and grabbing the first set of black clothes that she could find. She had no desire to be put through any more pain. And if Alex said that there was a risk of that happening, then she believed her. And if she had to stay up for 48 hours straight, then that’s just what she was going to have to do.

“Just come get me when you’re ready. We can get food on the way if you want,” said Alex quickly, leaving the room and shutting the door to give Astra some privacy.

* * *

When Cat arrived at the office, she found a box of muffins on her desk with a note: 

Hope these make you feel a little better. We can talk more when we get home. I love you. -K

Cat smiled. How could she ever worry about Kara pushing her away? Of course she wouldn’t. Kara was so good to her. She was good to everybody, really. But she was definitely the healthiest relationship that Cat had ever had, and it was a little hard to get used to. She kept worrying about needing to put her walls back up to avoid getting hurt, but Kara kept not hurting her. She wondered when she was finally going to stop worrying about being hurt and just let herself be who she was around her girlfriend. She decided that now might be a good time to start.

* * *

Astra and Alex arrived at the DEO only twenty minutes late. Which was impressive, considering how many drive-throughs they’d been through. Astra had kept saying that she ‘wasn’t that hungry’ so Alex would only order like 5 burgers and then watch Astra devour them in a minute and desperately lick her fingers, and then Alex would proceed to the next drive-through that she saw, despite Astra’s comments that she ‘really wasn’t that hungry’ and that they ‘really didn’t need to get any more food’. Regardless, Astra was okay now, which was all that really mattered to Alex, and Alex had even managed to get in some breakfast herself. 

“So nice of you to show up,” said General Lane, looking annoyingly smug, standing in the center of the DEO facility like he owned the place.

“What are you even doing here, Lane?” asked Alex, addressing her least-favorite member of the Lane family. Sometimes she was astonished how well Lucy turned out despite being raised by that guy. It just further reaffirmed her belief that people really choose their own path; their parents don’t really have anything to do with it. Awful people are awful because they want to be, not because they ‘didn’t know any better’ or ‘were just brought up that way’. Sure, people are always willing to blame other people, and often specifically their parents, for things, but that didn’t make it true. People could be raised by bigots and grow up to not believe a word of that hatred, and people could be raised by great people and turn into Neo-Nazis. You choose who you want to be, and you can’t blame your decisions on anyone else. At least, that’s what her father had always told her. She still believed it though.

“I’m here because that alien is only free so that she can help the US government, and we are ready to start using her. We already have her first mission, although none of you will be able to accompany her. You don’t have clearance,” said General Lane smugly. Astra was already gripping Alex’s hand tightly, a silent plea not to let the man who tortured her take her away. Alex squeezed back immediately, trying to convey that she wasn’t letting Astra go anywhere. Astra’s grip was a little intense, but Alex would have let Astra just about break her hand if it made her feel a little safer. She’d already been through so much, especially from that man, and Alex didn’t want her to have another reason to be scared.

“Well, the US government is going to have to wait. Astra needs time to heal - both mentally and physically - before she’s ready for any missions,” said Alex firmly. Soldiers who weren’t healthy didn’t get put on missions. She was sure that General Lane was aware of that.

“That’s not how this works. You sold us an asset. If she can’t be one, then she goes back to being a prisoner,” said General Lane threateningly. Alex got the impression that he would much rather that she was his prisoner, and that regardless of what Astra did, that that was always what he was going to want.

“She is an asset. She’s a trained General, just like you, with super powers and advanced scientific knowledge from other planets that we couldn’t even dream of. But she is also a person who needs some time to heal after a trauma,” said Alex, trying to appeal to the rational side of the General. She really should have known better. As if his hatred of an entire group of people based on where they were from was rational.

“She’s not a person. She’s an alien. And she’s coming with me, one way or another, right now,” said General Lane, moving towards Astra. The DEO agents put their guns up, which prompted the General’s people to put their guns up, and then everybody was suddenly very still and very tense. 

“It’s okay. I’ll go,” said Astra quietly, dropping Alex’s hand. Her head still felt foggy from the drugs, and she was feeling the effects of her exhaustion more and more, but she didn’t want to be General Lane’s prisoner again. So she was just going to have to get through all of that, as well her crippling fear of that awful man, because she wasn’t going to let anybody get hurt because of her, especially not Alex, who had done nothing but look after her since she’d been back despite everything she’d done.

“HOLD UP!” yelled a voice. They all turned around to see Lucy. “I have been on the phone to the president. She, as it turns out, agrees with Alex, and me, that Astra needs time to recover. Which is something that she apparently told you yesterday, dad,” said Lucy angrily. The General’s soldiers put their guns down at the mention of the president, and the DEO agents followed suit. Alex had never been so grateful for her absolute favorite member of the Lane family.

“Listen ... Lucy, honey,” started General Lane in a very different tone of voice to one that Astra had ever heard. Sometimes it still astounded her when people capable of such cruelty to one person could be so loving to another. It just further proved to her that you could never really know what somebody else was capable of, which meant that you could never really trust them.

“No! I don’t want to hear it. I get it; you hate aliens. You think that you’re more entitled to this planet than they are because ... you were here first? I’ve met six year old children with a better ability to share than you. I am so sick of this xenophobia and I am so sick of excusing it. Lois found a great guy that she loves and all you care about is where he’s from because ‘he could be a threat to us’. Anybody could be a threat, dad! And, newsflash, most threats come from us anyway. Hundreds of people die in cars every year, and you don’t give a damn about making the roads safer. Shootings happen practically every day but you still don’t want to take anybody’s guns away. Unless their aliens, I suppose,” said Lucy angrily.

“Lucy, I don’t ...” started General Lane, but his daughter immediately cut him off.

“Tens of thousands of queer kids kill themselves and you don’t want to help make them feel better. No, because then you’d actually be helping a group of people, instead of blaming all your problems on some group of people that you don’t mind hurting. You want to focus on the 0.0001% of deaths caused by aliens because ... that’s the real problem? I’m done. My best friend is an alien, my sister’s boyfriend is an alien, and I’m currently living with an alien; and honestly, I like them all a lot better than you. Not that that is actually the determining factor in whether or not I think an entire group of people deserve to be targeted or not, because, here’s a radical concept, literally no group of people should ever be targeted. So get out of this facility and get out of my life, and don’t come back until you’re ready to be a decent person. Also, we’ll let you know when Astra is physically and psychologically stable enough for anything, and then you can run potential missions by us and we’ll decide whether it’s worth the risk to her, because you’d probably just send her to die for a corn chip,” finished Lucy with a kind of calm anger that her father had never heard from her.

“Lucy, don’t be ridiculous ...” started her father.

“Can some agents please escort my father off the premises?” asked Lucy calmly, ignoring her father and talking over him once again. She was sick of having conversations that went nowhere. Her father didn’t want to change, and he wasn’t open to reason, so she was done trying to talk it out.

“Oh, it’d be my pleasure,” said Alex eagerly, walking over to General Lane and then dragging him to the nearest exit. She was so relieved that Astra was safe, but she was so mad that this man had wanted to hurt her because of where she was from. She knew that squeezing her hand harder around him so that he was in a little more pain as she pulled him along wasn’t going to change his mind. He wasn’t going to suddenly decide that hating entire groups of people, who haven’t done anything but happen to share some random attribute with a few people who have, was wrong because of some bruises; violence never really convinced anyone of anything. But it made her feel better, and she hoped that maybe he’d think twice before going after Astra again because she was protected. She knew that even if that did happen, he’d just find some other alien to hurt. She wished that she could actually stop him from hurting anybody else, but she couldn’t, so she dug her nails into his skin and just hoped that he’d leave Astra alone in the future.

* * *

Astra was in a meeting room with Lucy and some other agents. She was providing them with a range of information about other worlds and species, as per her immunity deal. It was strange for Lucy, who had spent some time with Alura, to see somebody who looked so much like her. But Astra wasn’t like Alura at all. Alura wasn’t scared of her. Alura didn’t talk about tactical weaknesses in other species. Alura didn’t try to seem as unaffected as possible, even though she was clearly barely holding it together. 

Alex would get up on a regular basis and return with food for Astra. Lucy noticed how Astra’s hand would brush against Alex’s and how both of them seemed so comfortable - even though both of them didn’t usually like people in their personal space. She saw how nervous Astra got whenever Alex left the room, and how Alex acted like Astra was the only person in the room, since she was the only one that she ever looked at. 

Lucy wondered if leaving them together was a good idea. Astra had been through so much, so it wasn’t the ideal time for a relationship. And if Astra wasn’t genuine about her switch to their side, she might corrupt Alex. But throughout the day she saw how much they clearly cared about each other, and how much safer they seemed to feel around each other, so she decided that they should be kept together. It was best for both of them, really, and it was probably best for the DEO too. Astra’s affection for Alex would make her more likely to stay on their side, and Alex’s affection for Astra would only ensure that Astra was well taken care of. It was a win-win.

* * *

Lucy got home to a complete mess. Alura must have been busy learning about the cuisine here because there were a lot of empty frozen food containers stacked on her kitchen table. “ALURA!” yelled Lucy, wondering for a second if Alex had to put up with this stuff from her Kryptonian. 

“Yes?” said Alura, walking into the kitchen. She was just wearing a tee-shirt and jeans, but God, Lucy thought she looked amazing. But she took a breath and remembered that she was mad. 

“Did you plan to tidy up any of your mess?” asked Lucy, slightly annoyed. Alura looked confused and blinked a few times before responding.

“Don’t you have a cleaning robot for that?” asked Alura genuinely. Lucy sighed. Of course Alura didn’t even know how to clean up after herself. 

“No, we don’t. You have to pick it up and put it in the bin,” said Lucy, pointing to the bin.

“But ... what happens when it’s full?” asked Alura, confused. She knew that she was new on this planet and she didn’t understand everything yet, but she was pretty sure she’d found a pretty substantial flaw with that system.

“Well, that’s what the bag in the bin is for. You pick up the bag, you tie it up, and then you put it in a big bin outside the house. And then you put another bag in the bin, and you repeat this procedure every time the bin is full,” explained Lucy patiently. Alura thought for a few seconds, then looked confused again.

“But what happens when that is full?” asked Alura. 

“The government collects it every week to prevent that from happening,” said Lucy, trying not to sound as exasperated as she felt. It was exhausting explaining every facet of life to somebody. But she knew that Alura was probably even more overwhelmed trying to learn it all, so she was trying to be patient.

“But ... where do they put it?” asked Alura, still trying to understand how this system worked. It seemed overly complicated.

“In a big area full of rubbish. And before you ask me what happens when that’s full ... I don’t know, okay? I’ve never put this much thought into our garbage system before. I’m going to get changed. I want this stuff in the bin when I get back, okay?” asked Lucy, trying to be nice but firm. Alura had to learn to clean up after herself. She was an adult. Lucy refused to clean up her mess for her. 

“As you wish,” said Alura simply, although she was still somewhat confused. She could tell that Lucy didn’t really want to explain any more, and she didn’t want to annoy Lucy. She wanted Lucy to like her. Although, she got the distinct impression that that would never happen.

* * *

Lucy returned in a t-shirt that was a little too short to cover her stomach and a skirt that came a few inches above the knee. She always got so hot in that military uniform, and the temperature was really starting to warm up, so she had opted for something cool. Alura had just finished putting all her bits of rubbish that she had scattered around the house in the bin when she saw Lucy.

“Thank you,” said Lucy as she looked at her clean kitchen. Alura was too busy staring to say anything. Lucy was showing off far more skin than anyone on Krypton did - even in their own home - and Alura didn’t quite know how to react. Her mind short-circuited as her eyes raked over Lucy’s insanely attractive body. “Oh, I suppose they didn’t wear stuff like this on Krypton either? Well get over it, you’re here now,” snapped Lucy, not in the mood for some lecture on ‘appropriate’ clothing.

“Okay,” said Alura, forcing the word from her throat. It had sounded a bit weird, but Lucy hadn’t seemed to notice. Alura didn’t mind Lucy’s clothing at all, and even if she did, Lucy was entitled to wear what she wanted, but honestly Alura wasn’t sure how long it was going to be before she could form coherent sentences again. She hadn’t even realized that she was this attracted to Lucy. 

“So is there any food left?” asked Lucy, half-joking, half-concerned after a rather long pause.

“Um ... is ... food? Oh ... yeah,” said Alura, deciding to stare at the floor for a while, although it wasn’t making her stumble over words any less. Lucy just went towards the fridge, got the first thing she saw, and put it in the microwave. 

“So how was your day?” asked Lucy. She couldn’t really tell Alura anything about her day, because it was all classified, but Alura was so overwhelmed with adjusting to living somewhere so different that she didn’t really mind. 

“Fine,” said Alura, still staring at the floor. The shock had mostly worn off now; she thought that she might be able to stop acting like a total idiot and form coherent words. She still wasn’t risking a glance upwards though.

“Okay. Have you given any more thought to what we talked about this morning?” asked Lucy. She wasn’t trying to rush Alura; she was trying very hard to be patient with her. She could only imagine how difficult it would be if she had to flee her home and learn to live somewhere completely different. 

“Well, I’ve been thinking. But I don’t really have an answer yet. There are a few jobs that seem interesting, but the years of training required is staggering. And the cost of that training is just unaffordable,” said Alura. Well, at least she could get some sentences out. Thinking about what on Earth she was going to do in the future made her think a little clearer. It was far less appealing to think about than Lucy was though.

“The DEO can pay for it all. Don’t worry about that,” said Lucy. She couldn’t believe that Alura really thought that they were going to make her pay for that stuff. Obviously, she needed some help to get on her feet before she could actually contribute to the economy. How could she possibly survive here with literally no money or assets without help? Leaving people in that situation to fend for themselves would only lead to increased crime, because push comes to shove, most people would rather steal than starve. And that just helped nobody. Although her father would probably love it, because it would be another way to justify his anti-alien sentiments by declaring them all criminals based on an increased crime rate. As if that would justify the police targeting people who haven’t done anything. As if people’s first choice was crime. As if somehow the causation of that statistic was that aliens were ‘just naturally more violent’, instead of other things, like the police finding any excuse to arrest aliens, or racists in management making it near impossible to get a job that could pay the bills for anybody who couldn’t disguise who they were, or a million other things that nobody really wanted to talk about, because then they’d actually have to help people instead of jail them.

“That is absurdly generous ... and I’ll take it. I just ... there are so many choices. It’s all overwhelming. The law is what I’m used to, but I’m used to a completely different set of laws. And a different language, and a different culture, and ... I don’t know if I can relearn all of that. Or if I can stand in front of a jury and hope that I never accidentally reference anything from my home which would give me away as an alien. There’s medicine, which seems noble, but it’s so competitive that I don’t think I’d make it. There’s business, which seems like far too much of a risk. There’s teaching, which seems far too lowly paid. There’s research science, which doesn’t actually have as many jobs as people seem to think and requires at least a Masters degree to get a job. There’s IT, which everyone says is the future - and I assure you it is - but I can barely cope with using the front-end of your primitive technology; actually coding something with the basic languages you must have would be a nightmare. So, in summary, I am open to suggestions,” said Alura, trying to do the short version of what had been hours and hours of research.

“Wow ... okay ... you’re being a little picky but ... of course you are. I mean ... what about engineering then? Highly paid, you can get a job with a bachelor’s degree, you don’t really have to deal with culture or laws, and it’s competitive but not as competitive as medicine,” said Lucy, remembering one of the engineers she’d met in the military. She was like Alura - very intelligent, and also very, very cute. Maybe she had a type.

“I ... I always was good at math. Astra and I used to swap places during tests at school. I did the math and science tests, and she did everything else. It was a pretty good system,” said Alura. That was obviously before Astra had put that white streak in her hair. She still remembered when Astra had insisted on that permanent white streak when she’d turned 21. She’d gone on about how she was her own person, and despite Alura’s protests, how she wouldn’t regret it. Of course, a few years later when Astra had to give a speech for something for the first time in forever because Alura couldn’t do it for her anymore, she had realized that maybe Alura had had a point.

“So, can I start forging documents to get you into an engineering program?” asked Lucy excitedly. She wanted to get Alura doing something. Interacting with other people. Well, maybe not interacting with other people that much. Lucy liked having Alura with her. But Alura needed to see more of this planet than Lucy’s apartment, and interact with more humans than just her.

“It is worth a try, I suppose,” said Alura. She didn’t really want to do something else. She wanted to be a Kryptonian judge. But she knew that she had to leave that all behind, and somehow learn how to exist on this planet. And trying to learn another legal system in another language just seemed like too much. She would always default to her Kryptonian training; at least this way she didn’t have to balance two competing systems in the same field. 

Besides, she’d been reading about the ‘justice’ system in this country, and she had no desire to be a part of it. She didn’t want to be apart of a system that systematically stopped every black and Latino-looking person because they were assumed to be criminals, and then found ways to charge them with something to justify their prejudice. She didn’t want to see people get convicted because a racist jury decided that the evidence was ‘reasonable’ to convict somebody who was innocent. She didn’t want to be a part of something awful. Even if it would mean that she’d have to work harder at something else, she wanted to do something good.

It was hard to let go of what she knew, but she had decided that she needed to stop trying to hold onto something that she couldn’t have. She needed to make a lot of brand new decisions here. She needed to find the job that she wanted here, because she couldn’t have the job she once did, and just picking whatever seemed closest to what she knew was just limiting. She needed to find things that she liked here - difficult as that was proving - because all the things she liked on Krypton were gone. And she wasn’t going to get them back. As difficult as it was, she had to start anew. Otherwise she would just be miserable, missing things that she could never get back.

* * *

Kara left the office the earliest she had in a long while - 7 PM. She could have stayed quite a bit longer, but she wanted to go home to her girlfriend and make sure that she was okay. Cat had already left, despite usually being there quite late, because she had realized that she really just didn’t care. She needed to take care of herself, and just trust that the company would be there tomorrow. She hoped that she would actually get a chance to talk to her girlfriend today, but she wasn’t counting on it given how late Kara was staying at the office recently.

Cat heard the door open a little after 7 and instantly jumped up off the couch to greet her girlfriend at the door. “Hey baby,” said Kara, smiling. She had been relatively sure that her girlfriend would be home, but it was always a relief to actually see her there. She quickly closed the door and kissed Cat softly. She pulled away after a little while, although she left her hand on her cheek, stroking softly. “So how are you?” she asked gently.

“I’m okay,” said Cat. Kara looked at her doubtfully. “I mean, I’m still not thrilled. But I think once I stopped bottling up all my emotions, stopped pretending like it wasn’t bothering me and just let it out, it made me feel a little better. So I’m not great. But I’m okay,” explained Cat softly. She was feeling a lot more comfortable being vulnerable with Kara now. She was pretty sure that Kara wasn’t going to attack her for her feelings, so she found it surprisingly easy to just be honest. It was all such a relief, really. It was so exhausting to hide how you felt all the time. She hadn’t even realized how draining it was to control every expression and choose every word carefully, but it was so freeing to stop. 

“Okay. So what do you want to do? Eat your feelings? Talk about it? Watch movies? Whatever you want, baby,” said Kara gently. She knew that people coped with things differently, and she wanted to do whatever made her girlfriend feel better. 

“God, I don’t even know. I’m so used to just repressing everything and withdrawing; I don’t know how to actually deal with my feelings. Do you remember when I told you that I wanted a purely professional relationship with you that time?” asked Cat, half-laughing at how stupid that had been.

“Of course I remember. It was one of the worst days of my life,” said Kara, although she was smiling, because obviously she knew now that that had been a complete lie.

“Well, mine too. I had realized just how attached I had gotten to you, and I panicked. I spent an hour going through glasses of scotch analyzing what I had said. I was so scared that I had given my feelings away by admitting that this wasn’t just professional. I imagined the sexual harassment lawsuits, the newspaper articles, the idea of you mocking me ... none of which came. At first, I was relieved. But then it was just awful. I missed you so much. And I didn’t know how I could possibly tell you that and still seem unaffected by you. I mean, I couldn’t even admit that I knew your name after two years; I couldn’t tell you that I missed you. But you ended up coming back to me, so I didn’t have to. My point is ... I don’t think I’ve actually ever really dealt with my emotions, other than coming up with new ways to suppress them. No matter how much pain it has cost me, I’ve always thought that I couldn’t show emotion ... show vulnerability. And I’m trying to be different now ... but I really don’t know what to do,” admitted Cat. She wanted Kara to understand her now, instead of her usual strategy of not wanting anybody to understand anything about her so that they couldn’t hurt her. 

“Oh. You just ... let yourself feel what you feel. If you feel sad, you can cry. We can watch a bunch of sad movies so that you can see something that reflects how you feel. We can watch a bunch of happy movies to give you hope. And at some point in time, the bad feelings eventually fade away,” explained Kara. She was almost horrified as to how long her girlfriend had been repressing her emotions for, but she didn’t say that. She was just glad that she finally wanted to stop repressing everything.

“I ... I guess we can start with the sad movies?” said Cat uncertainly. She didn’t think she really felt like watching people being happy right now, but she didn’t really know what she wanted. 

“Sounds good, baby,” said Kara, taking her to the couch. She had set up Cat’s TV so that it could stream movies from her computer, so she pulled up Netflix, picked something she’d already seen and knew would have Cat crying, and put her arm around her girlfriend. Cat leaned into her and held her close; she was so amazed that she had found somebody that cared about her like this. She couldn’t believe how close she came to never having her just because she was scared, but she was so glad she had decided to dive - dive into the uncertain waters, despite the fact that it might hurt, to end up on the other side happier than she’d ever been.

* * *

“You did really great today,” said Alex softly as she watched the exhausted woman in front of her shove down the last pizza that they’d picked up on the way home. 

“Whatever,” said Astra dismissively. “I’m tired. I’m going to bed.” She was a little irritable after being up for so long. She was exhausted, and she really needed to go to sleep.

“Astra, can you actually get to sleep?” asked Alex quietly, remembering the events of this morning.

“I’ll be fine,” said Astra, annoyed. She was an adult, not a child. 

“I’m going to come check on you in ten minutes. If you’re not asleep, I’m going to give you something to help you,” said Alex gently. She didn’t want to agitate Astra further, but she wanted to let her know that she was definitely going to get to sleep tonight.

“Ah, of course. Of course I don’t have a right to privacy, or my own space, or what goes in my body,” said Astra angrily. She was so sick of people doing things to her. She was finally free of Cadmus, but at times like these, she still felt trapped.

“Astra, you’re in a fragile state right now,” started Alex. She wanted to help Astra understand why she was doing what she was doing.

“Yes, yes, I know. You’re acting in my best interests. But who are you to say what’s best for me?” asked Astra. She just wanted to make her own choices.

“I’m a doctor, and I’ve seen this before. You have severe anxiety after a trauma - it’s astoundingly common. And you don’t want help - also very common. But you need it. You might be able to go to the DEO and act ‘normal’ - whatever that means - but that doesn’t mean that you’re okay. Among other things, you need to be able to sleep. So if you can’t, I am going to help you. And if for some reason you don’t want that ... that’s just too bad. You need sleep to stay alive, Astra,” said Alex bluntly. There were just some choices that she couldn’t let Astra make for herself, because the consequences would be disastrous, and she wouldn’t be making those decisions if she was thinking clearly. She shouldn’t have to suffer just because her brain was making some bad decisions right now.

“Fine! Why don’t you just shoot me up now then?” yelled Astra. Alex could tell that the sleep deprivation was making her a lot more emotional than usual, so she ignored the outburst.

“I’ll be right back,” said Alex softly, quickly going to the bathroom to get a sedative that should knock the Kryptonian out for a good ten hours.

“Are you going to do it here and just leave me to fall on the floor?” asked Astra angrily as Alex returned holding an uncapped needle. The second she saw it she felt the fear come back again. She started shaking and she felt her heart race as she tried to ignore the voice in her head saying, ‘she’s going to kill you’.

“It takes a few minutes to kick in,” said Alex quietly, grabbing Astra’s arm still and injecting the liquid. She took it out and put the cap back on. Then she guided Astra to her room and lay her down on the bed, just managing to finish tucking her in before Astra started complaining again.

“Well I don’t feel anything,” said Astra. That was a lie of sorts. She did feel something. Except all that was there was fear, and she was rather hoping that was going to subside at some point. She was so sick of feeling like this. Of feeling total dread of something that wasn’t there. And no matter how many times she felt this severe irrational fear and nothing happened, she couldn’t stop the terror from reducing her to a shaking mess. 

“You just have to wait for it to kick in. This isn’t TV. You don’t give someone something and then watch them get better in 20 seconds,” said Alex. She had some serious problems with the representation of science and medicine in television. One of them was with how quickly medicine managed to work.

“I don’t know what TV is,” said Astra, somewhat confused. 

“Well, don’t worry about it then. The point is it’s going to take a little while to kick in, but you’ll feel better soon,” said Alex, trying to be reassuring.

“Why can’t it work sooner?” whined Astra. She knew she sounded petulant, but she felt like she was about to die at any moment, and she really wanted it to stop. And being told that it would after some amount of time wasn’t particularly comforting. She wondered if people would think that was a comforting thing to say if they understood how bad one second of this felt. If they understood what it felt like to think that an assassin was just seconds away from killing you, except you felt like that every second, and even though the assassin never came, it never stopped feeling inevitable. Also, she was pretty sure that they had medicine that acted a lot faster on Krypton. She may not have been the biggest fan of her home planet, but they had gotten some things right.

“Because the body is complicated and we don’t really understand it, but we’re doing the best that we can. If I had something that worked faster, I’d give it to you. But this is the best that we have right now,” said Alex. It was just the simple truth.

“Well, ‘the best you have’ sucks,” said Astra. She tried to hide the way she jumped a little at a loud noise a few blocks away, although she got the distinct impression by Alex’s pitiful look that she saw it. She couldn’t help but shake harder every time she heard footsteps, even though they were blocks away, because she was convinced that it was somebody coming to kill her. She kept looking at Alex, wondering if she could protect her, while reminding herself that it wasn’t real, that there was no danger, that she was just imagining things.

“I know,” said Alex. She knew Astra needed comfort, and she was horrible at asking for it, but Alex wanted her to understand that she did empathize with her pain. She wasn’t going to tell her to ‘just toughen up’ until it worked. 

“Are these going to keep happening?” asked Astra, suddenly softer. Her heart was beating so hard in her ears that she wondered if Alex could hear it. She didn’t know much about medicine, but she was pretty sure three heartbeats a second was a bit fast. She wondered how much of this her heart could take. Of course, that was probably just the irrational fear talking. Because she was going to be fine. That’s what she kept repeating in her head, anyway. 

“Probably not forever. Probably for a little while though,” said Alex. She didn’t want to lie, even if she got the feeling that Astra didn’t really want the truth.

“I don’t know how long I could take this for,” said Astra softly. She hated how vulnerable she felt. She hated that she needed somebody’s help. She liked being independent. She hated checking Alex’s reaction to every sound she heard to make sure that the danger wasn’t real, because if it was real then Alex would react too, but it wasn’t real. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real.

“Look, I know this is awful, okay? But this is going to stop soon, and tomorrow we’re going to find you some things that make you happy, and one day it really is all going to be okay,” said Alex, slowly reaching for Astra’s hand, only to have Astra grab it firmly when she half-way there. 

“That’s pretty hard to believe right now,” said Astra. She wondered if she’d ever be able to distinguish real fear from imaginary fear again. If she could ever hope to be truly better. Now she could never be sure if what she felt was really justified. And if she had to check if every fear was a valid one with someone else, then that didn’t really feel like sanity. And being unable to be sure of reality for the rest of her life didn’t really feel like much fun. 

“Yeah. I know. But trust me anyway?” said Alex softly.

“I suppose I’ll try,” said Astra. It was really all she could do to at this point. She couldn’t trust her own thoughts or feelings, so she just had to trust Alex’s. Because Alex was sane. Alex didn’t think that the sound of a door opening that she just heard was one of Non’s loyal supporters come to kill her. 

Alex stood there in silence for fifteen minutes; just staying close so that Astra knew that everything was okay, regardless of what her brain was telling her. 

“Astra? You’re not shaking anymore,” said Alex, still gripping Astra’s hand.

“I ... I’m not. I think I’m okay now,” said Astra. She hadn’t even realized that the fear had subsided. She had just been trying to ignore everything that she was feeling so much that she hadn’t noticed when she had stopped jumping at something every ten seconds.

“Do you want me to turn some lights on or something? Or the TV for some background noise?” asked Alex, worried that Astra still wouldn’t be able to sleep. She had been through so much; Alex could imagine it would be hard to feel safe, even without constant panic attacks.

“I don’t know. This has never happened to me before. I don’t know how to make any of it better,” said Astra, sighing. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do. She just wanted to be okay again.

“Okay, well, I’ll leave the door open and I’ll turn the TV on - and you can always get up and change things if you don’t like it, okay?” asked Alex softly. She decided that despite Astra’s recent protests about being independent, she really did want Alex to make this decision for her.

“Okay,” said Astra, reluctantly letting go of Alex’s hand. She didn’t know if it was a good idea or not, but she didn’t care to argue any more. She didn’t like losing physical contact with Alex though. She had begun to make her feel a lot safer. But she couldn’t ask her to stay. It wasn’t appropriate. So she said nothing.

Alex nodded and left the bedroom door wide open. She turned the TV on but with the volume low enough that it wouldn’t bother the neighbors. Astra should have no problems hearing it though, given her super hearing. Alex finally got ready for bed and by the time she came out of the bathroom she saw Astra sound asleep in the dim glow of the TV’s light. She smiled as she lay down on the couch and pulled a blanket over herself.

* * *

Cat was crying again. It was just all so tragic. Why did the dog have to die? Why couldn’t people just live happily ever after? 

Kara was holding her and softly rubbing her back intermittently. It felt nice. It felt nice to be around somebody that she didn’t feel the need to lie to. She liked who she was more when she was with Kara. She had a tendency to lash out to try to scare people off before they could attack her, and it wasn’t really fair to anyone, and it didn’t even make her happy. Besides, maybe she’d overestimated how bad emotions were. Sure, she wasn’t thrilled right now, but being sad wasn’t that awful. It wasn’t any worse than being terrified of rejection for two years. It wasn’t worse than constantly suppressing everything she ever felt every second of every day.

The credits started rolling, and Kara turned the TV off. “Do you want to go to bed ... or watch something else?” asked Kara. It wasn’t that late, but Kara usually got up pretty early. She knew that Cat didn’t get up that late either.

“Bed, I think,” said Cat with a sniffle. Part of her just wanted to sleep all day tomorrow. She was just ... tired. And her usual drive to do things to make herself forget all her problems was failing her. 

“Okay, baby,” said Kara, gently leading Cat to their bedroom. Cat lay down and then quickly felt Kara’s arms around her, holding her close. They usually did this the other way around; but Cat certainly liked it this way now. She had never thought that Kara, with all her youth and naivety, would be the one who was supporting her like this, but honestly, Kara had been surprising her since that first meeting at 10:15. She should really be used to it by now.

“I know you’re hurting and maybe this isn’t the best time ... but I’m so glad you can finally trust me. I want to be there for you. I love you,” said Kara quietly. She hoped that she wasn’t being insensitive, but she wanted to express how she was feeling. She also wanted to reassure her girlfriend that she was glad that she wasn’t burying her emotions for a change.

“I’m glad I can trust you too. I’ve always loved you too, you know? That was never the issue. My trust issues were always in spite of you, not because of you. Ironically, I think they all started from my mother. My whole childhood, I trusted her with all my feelings and vulnerabilities, and she did nothing but mock me for it and tell me to stop being so ‘European’ - because obviously people with feelings only exist in Europe. I don’t know why I’m so upset by her, to be honest. She has caused me so much pain - and she’s never even apologized,” said Cat. She wished that she didn’t care about her mother’s opinion. It wasn’t like they’d had a great relationship anyway. And yet, if she was honest with herself, she did care. It did hurt. Even if it didn’t really make sense.

“I understand complicated relationships with a parent. I watched Alex get yelled at by Eliza all the time. And it was all because of me. She never asked for me, but for some reason Eliza had decided that I was her responsibility. As if a fifteen year old was somehow the suitable choice for that role, instead of the adults who had chosen to adopt me. But Alex still wanted her mother’s affection. She still got excited any time Eliza said that she was proud of her. She always felt awful whenever Eliza told her that she should have stopped me from doing something - as if a human could stop me from doing anything. And I never really understood why Alex didn’t hate her mother for putting all that on her, but I suppose that she had gotten rather attached to her before I came along, and so even when Eliza started putting unfair burdens on her, she just accepted it. So ... I think you have good memories that you’ve held onto for a long time, and you tend to repress all the bad ones because it feels better,” said Kara. She had had a few conversations with Alex about her mother, and she had always been surprised at how much Alex cared about her mother’s opinion. Her standards seemed completely absurd, and Alex had thought so too. But that didn’t change the fact that Alex couldn’t help how she felt, and that she felt shattered every time her mother said that she was ‘very disappointed in her’.

“Yes, but ... knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less. It should, but it doesn’t,” said Cat. She knew that she obviously missed the few good times, as opposed to the overwhelming amount of bad. But that didn’t stop her from missing the good. 

“Well, I think that it’s a lot harder for you because you let so few people in. It’s a bigger loss for you in comparison to most people. But ... you do have me now,” said Kara. She didn’t want to sound narcissistic; she just wanted her girlfriend to know that she was there for her now.

“Yes, I do. And I assure you, you have shown me more love than that woman did in her entire life. And when you put it like that, losing her to gain you would be the best exchange I’ve ever made in my life,” said Cat honestly, cuddling more into Kara. She was so glad that she finally had someone in her life who just wanted her to be herself. It was such a relief not to have to hide everything she felt.

“I wish you hadn’t have had to choose,” said Kara softly. She stroked through her girlfriend’s hair lightly as she pulled her just a little closer.

“Oh, me too, darling. But I’d always choose you in a heartbeat,” said Cat, closing her eyes. Kara couldn’t help but smile at that. Nobody had ever really chosen her before. Her cousin had almost completely abandoned her the moment she woke up on this planet, and she’d spent her whole life trying to be unnoticeable, so nobody else had ever really paid much attention to her. Cat had noticed her though. She’d noticed that she was Supergirl when literally nobody else did, and she’d noticed her as Kara Danvers long before that too.

* * *

“Hey.” The voice was soft and vaguely familiar, but Astra had no intention of getting up. She rolled onto her side to get away from the voice, but then she felt her arm being stroked and, “you need to get up now, Astra.” She groaned and slowly opened her eyes to see an unfamiliar room. She turned back to see Alex, and remembered where she was. 

“What time is it?” asked Astra groggily. 

“Time for you to get in the shower,” said Alex softly. Astra groaned but got up, grabbed some clothes and headed for the shower.

* * *

Astra had had some time to think in the shower. The stream of hot water that she hadn’t gotten to experience for so long felt nice. She stared at the wall for a few minutes as she properly woke up and remembered everything that had happened. She sighed as she finally felt clean for the first time in about a year. She stayed in the shower for ten minutes longer though, just enjoying the nice warm feeling, and to take the chance to just think alone.

She got out of the bathroom and walked straight to Alex, too afraid that she’d lose her nerve if she waited a moment longer.

“I wanted to say thank you, Brave One,” said Astra abruptly. She just wanted to get the words out of her mouth before she was too scared to say them.

“You don’t need to thank me,” said Alex softly. She didn’t want Astra to feel like she owed her. She was happy to look after her.

“Yes, I do. Thank you for giving me the sedatives. I needed them. Both of them. And I don’t know what I was thinking when I said no to them. I don’t like asking for help. I don’t like needing help either. And I still don’t like needles, but I trust you, and I accept that I might need to be medicated for a while,” said Astra. She was resolutely staring at the floor at this point, because she didn’t really like to admit that she was wrong, but she felt like she needed to say it.

“I’m glad you see that now. Because the thing about medication is it’s a bit of an imperfect system. I need you to tell me how it affects you, and then we can adjust the dose. And you’ll develop a tolerance over time, so I’ll have to give you more over time. Or change drugs. And things have side effects and those have to be monitored ... we can give you drugs for the side effects sometimes, although they have a way of coming with their own side effects,” said Alex, stopping herself when she saw Astra’s somewhat glazed eyes. She realized that Astra probably didn’t care this much about how medication worked. “Anyway, how do you feel? You seemed a little tired when I woke you up, do you think I should give you less of a dose next time?” asked Alex. She was glad that Astra was at least aware that she needed help. That was definitely a good sign.

“Um ... maybe? I don’t know,” said Astra, slightly confused. How was she supposed to know if she was ‘too tired’. She’d never been woken up and hopped out of bed excited to start the day. She was a big fan of sleeping in.

“Okay, we’ll lower it a bit and see how you feel with that then,” said Alex simply. She didn’t want to overdose Astra, so it was worth seeing if a lower dose would be better. She didn’t want to cut it too much though; she obviously still wanted it to work.

“Okay,” said Astra uncertainly. She had always thought that science and medicine were supposed to be exact. And now apparently the entire system was ‘guess and check’. It was all a bit disconcerting. Still, it was significantly better than nothing, so she was willing to go with it. Besides, she was willing to go with whatever Alex said - more or less, anyway. She had helped her more than anybody else really ever had, although that wasn’t saying much. But she got the feeling that Alex might be different to all the other people who’d abandoned her. She certainly hoped that that was the case, anyway.

* * *

When Cat woke up she was almost astounded to find that she was still in Kara’s arms. Kara was always up before she was, but here she was, seemingly sound asleep. Cat looked at the time. It was definitely past the time Kara usually got up. Had Kara forgotten to set her alarm? Cat reluctantly started softly stroking Kara’s arm to wake her up. “Darling. Darling. It’s the morning. Darling,” said Cat softly.

“Ugh, no,” mumbled Kara, tightening her hold around Cat and shutting her eyes after briefly opening them and seeing her girlfriend.

“Darling, I think you overslept,” said Cat softly. She lightly rubbed Kara’s arm again, trying to rouse her once again.

“No, not really,” said Kara tiredly, still pulling Cat a little closer. She definitely liked holding her girlfriend like this; she made a note in her head to do it more often. Even if the touching on her arm was getting a bit irritating.

“You’re usually gone by now,” said Cat, starting to lightly scratch Kara’s arm since she knew Kara would still barely feel it and it wouldn’t do any damage.

“Are you complaining?” asked Kara, eyes open now. Cat stopped touching her arm and kissed her for a second as Kara released her arms from her body.

“Of course not, darling. I just didn’t want you to be worried about being late. Is there any reason I actually get to wake up next to my girlfriend this morning?” asked Cat. She was still a bit confused as to why Kara was still here, although Kara seemed very calm about the whole thing.

“I just ... I do this sometimes. I work a lot - as both Supergirl and as your assistant .. or editor. And it’s so exhausting. So some days I just ... sleep. You assume that I’m being Supergirl and the DEO assumes I’m with you. It works out. I don’t do it often. But when I feel bad I just sleep in for as long as I want and then I feel okay again,” said Kara. Her eyes were half-closed at this point, but she was trying to keep them a little open since her girlfriend seemed so intent on her being awake.

“You do realize that what you’re describing is a coping mechanism? You’re overworking yourself and so you’re tired. Then you try to compensate by occasionally over-sleeping. But that’s not going to work long-term. You’re not really fixing your exhaustion - you just temporarily feel a lot better because you finally got some decent sleep. And you’ve gotten used to feeling so bad that your idea of ‘good’ is just ‘less bad’,” explained Cat softly. She really worried about Kara sometimes.

“Ugh, I’m fine,” said Kara dismissively, closing her eyes again. She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend again, enjoying the feeling of her pressed against her. 

“Of course,” muttered Cat. That girl could be so stubborn. “You know, the advantage of being the CEO is I can mostly show up whenever I want too. So, since you’re here, I think I’ll stay in bed too,” said Cat. She hadn’t really felt like getting up anyway, and she didn’t really have a lot of motivation to go to work, so she figured why not just lie in her girlfriend’s arms for a change?

“’Kay,” said Kara tiredly, pulling her girlfriend into her a little more. Cat looked at her clearly exhausted girlfriend and sighed. What the hell was she going to do with this girl?

* * *

Lucy had given Alura a few brochures on some universities to look over in her spare time. Alura had found the information provided rather lacking, since it seemed to be nothing but marketing, so she got onto Lucy’s computer (Lucy had made her an account with the user name Alura and password Alura, and Alura had just held her tongue about how easy it was to hack into that primitive security system) and started searching for information herself. She had spent hours understanding how the American education system worked, along with the employment system. Which is what had led her to going up to Lucy the second she had gotten out of the shower in the morning and yell, “what is wrong with you people?” 

“Oh, what is it now?” asked Lucy. She was getting a little sick of Alura’s complaints.

“Have you seen the numbers on the sexual assault rate on campuses?” asked Alura. Lucy blinked a few times. That was not what she had been expecting.

“Oh. That. Yeah, it’s awful. But ... you have super strength, Alura. Nobody’s going to hurt you,” said Lucy, instantly softening. The thought of anything like that happening to Alura sickened her, but she was pretty sure that she’d be safe.

“First of all, that’s not the point. Second of all, my powers could burn out - Kara explained that to me. Third of all, what is wrong with you people? You need to save these kids!” said Alura, clearly horrified. This didn’t happen on Krypton. At least, not with anywhere near the same frequency.

“Welcome to America, Alura. Nobody cares about sexual assault here. Not the police, not the politicians, not the university staff. And often, nobody else either. I know it’s horrible, but I can’t change it,” said Lucy bluntly.

“I ... I don’t know how you’re so calm about this,” said Alura, frustrated. She wanted to yell, but she had a feeling that that wouldn’t accomplish anything. She couldn’t make Lucy care by talking louder.

“You get used to it. You get used to everything - it’s called coping. If you let bad things you can’t change affect you, you’ll just make yourself miserable. You should put your energy into the things that you can have a positive impact on. For instance, have you started studying our math and science?” asked Lucy, trying to spin the conversation into something useful.

“Yes, and that’s appalling too. Your science is ... oversimplified is putting it mildly. And your math is ... basic, although mostly correct. But I’m not done about your awful tertiary system yet. Have you seen those prices? I looked up median incomes here, and it’s absurd! How are people paying for this stuff?” asked Alura. This entire day had been quite a shock for her.

“They’re either rich or they get a loan,” answered Lucy simply. She didn’t go into the fact that you could also join the military to get them to pay for it, because she got the feeling that that Alura would want to give her another speech about that one.

“Those loans must take forever to pay off!” said Alura. She hadn’t actually done the numbers for compound interest on those prices, but she could imagine that it would take decades to pay off a really good school.

“Oh, yeah,” said Lucy.

“But then how do you get a loan for a house? I’ve seen those prices too,” said Alura. She felt like she had to be missing something.

“Well, you can get multiple loans. But you’d have to have a pretty good job to be able to pay college loans and a home loan and actually manage to live. Of course, banks have been known for lending to just about anyone at high rates nobody can pay back fully, but they still get some money, and then they take your asset, so they don’t mind. Unless they accidentally crash the entire economy, but that’s a whole other thing,” said Lucy lightly.

“Why would you people let this happen?” asked Alura, not amused despite Lucy’s tone.

“Look, there’s a lot of problems in the world. And honestly, most people are just trying to get by, rather than trying to change a whole lot of systems,” said Lucy simply.

“But why would your politicians not regulate this system better?” asked Alura. Krypton didn’t have this problem either.

“Why would they do that? Businesses hate regulation - it’s a hassle and it’s limiting - and politicians are usually pro-business, although it’s all to varying degrees. Some are more ‘do whatever you want’ than others. Anyway, America is pretty conservative so it tends to be a very free market approach,” said Lucy. She didn’t know if she had the patience to explain America’s political system. Mostly because it annoyed her a lot of the time, and explaining it would just annoy her more.

“So ... just so I’m clear ... if you want a chance at a job that you can comfortably live off, you need a job that requires a university qualification. If you want that, and you’re not rich, you need to take out a loan. Once you pay that loan, you can get another loan for a house. And one you’ve paid that loan, you’re probably dead. Is that about it?” asked Alura. She was trying to seem calm, although she got the feeling she wasn’t actually succeeding. 

“Well ... more or less. Some people can earn a lot of money without a degree, but it doesn’t happen too often. And most of Gen Y, and almost all of the millennials, seem to think that they’ll be stuck renting forever due to housing unaffordability. So they get to pay that cost forever, without ever acquiring the asset ... which is at least not a loan,” said Lucy. She didn’t realize she’d need to explain the entire American economy to Alura. If she had’ve, she would’ve paid a lot more attention in that business subject she took as an elective because it looked easy. 

“Um ... so ... I don’t have any money here and ... how long would you let me stay with you exactly?” asked Alura. She was starting to think that living on this planet was going to be even harder than she thought.

“Oh, is that what you’re worried about? You can stay forever,” said Lucy simply, then quickly realized what she’d said. “I mean, as long as you want. As long as you need. I’m sure you’d rather be somewhere else. But you don’t have to worry about anything,” Lucy said quickly. She took a breath as she realized she’d been flustered and she was rambling. “You can stay here and I’ll pay all your bills for you. Well, the DEO is paying your bills. We’re writing you off as an expense, like all the aliens we deal with. Of course, we don’t send many of them to university, but the fun part of being a Black Ops unit is that we have no oversight and we can really do whatever we want because nobody checks anything since everything is ‘classified’,” said Lucy lightly. There were some definite benefits from switching from a branch of the military with a lot of regulation to a ‘do whatever we feel like’ secret government organization.

“That’s ... very generous of you,” said Alura. She wasn’t used to secret government organizations helping anybody. They usually just killed and tortured people. Maybe there was something better about this planet after all. 

“Well, what else are you supposed to do? We can’t just leave you here with no money and no usable skills,” said Lucy simply.

“I’m sure you could, but I appreciate you choosing not to do that,” said Alura. She knew from experience just how easily a lot of people could leave people in very bad situations. Especially people in power.

“Well, don’t worry about it. Besides, you can fly at super speed between here and wherever you go, so it’s really a lot less money than it should be. You’re a bargain, really,” joked Lucy. Honestly, given how expensive housing was, Alura’s super transport abilities really did save them a fortune.

“I ... thank you?” said Alura. Lucy just smiled. She couldn’t help it. Alura was cute. Even when she was confused. 

“Just keep working on getting ready. We’ll have the documents forged soon enough and we can pull some strings to get you into somewhere without too much hassle. Did I mention that we have surveillance equipment and no oversight? I’m sure we’ll find a few Deans of Engineering at nice schools with some things they’d like to keep hidden to accept you in no time,” said Lucy confidently.

“While I appreciate your help, what you’re saying is rather terrifying. I don’t think governments are supposed to have this kind of power,” said Alura. She trusted Lucy, but she was still concerned about anybody having that kind of power.

“You’re feeling reluctant about blackmail? I suppose you don’t agree with torture or execution either,” said Lucy dryly.

“You people do WHAT?” asked Alura. They’d outlawed that stuff on Krypton centuries ago. She was starting to think that this place was more primitive than Daxam. Actually, at this point, she was sure it was.

“Listen, Alura, you understand that ... you can’t go around criticizing how we do things here to anyone else but me. People will worry that you’ll go on a human killing spree,” said Lucy seriously. She didn’t want Alura to end up in a DEO cell. Or worse.

“But I suppose humans are more than free to criticize it?” asked Alura. Lucy started nodding and looked like she was about to say something, but Alura just kept going. “I can’t point out factual flaws in what you do, like how torture is proven to be completely ineffective, since people just invent things to tell you, because, among a hundred other reasons, once you say ‘that’s all I know’ they don’t believe you and keep torturing you. But I’m an alien, so I just have to blindly say how amazing humanity is, even though you’re really not, because otherwise you’ll be scared of me. And when people get scared, they get violent. But I am not allowed to react to all the actual violence against aliens, because I just have to be better then that. While you people, apparently, get to take the low road. Is that about it?” asked Alura, slightly angrily. She didn’t appreciate being told that there were two sets of rules - and she got the raw deal. She was also starting to realize that maybe a few ethnic minorities on Krypton might have had unfair burdens placed on them. One group of people shouldn’t have to put up with hatred silently while others got to scream their hatred at rallies. It wasn’t fair.

“Yes. I know you don’t like it, and I know it’s not fair, but it’s the reality right now. People feel threatened by anyone different,” said Lucy. She wanted Alura to understand, because if she didn’t, she might get hurt. 

“Who says I’m different though? All this ‘us’ and ‘them’ language, but none of it is based on anything substantial. Humans let their own kind starve if they can’t afford to eat, and all of a sudden you want to pretend like you care about each other? Do you really think that humans are all the same? Or that aliens are all the same? And that we’re fundamentally different? People are just people. Sure, cultures are a little different, and people need some time to adjust, but some people are very much in line with their culture and others are completely counter to their culture. I mean, just look at Astra and me. I was everything I was supposed to be on Krypton, and she was everything that she wasn’t supposed to be. We’re the same species. We’re the same family. We’re even the same genetically. But we’re completely different people, and we should be judged for who we are, not what our genetic makeup is,” said Alura flatly. She couldn’t believe that she actually had to explain this.

“Alura, I know all that. I don’t know if this is coming across, but I really am on your side. Of course it’s silly to say that we should treat an entire group of people differently because of where they’re from or based on their genetics. Of course all people are different. But other humans ... they’re not as tolerant as I am. And I just don’t want you to get hurt because some racist designates you a threat,” said Lucy simply. She was trying to keep her emotion back, but she couldn’t help it in the last few words. She couldn’t stand the idea of Alura getting hurt. 

“I do not want to get hurt either. But I have a right to freedom of speech. The whole point of that right is to be able to criticize people in power, and the power structures themselves, even when those people don’t want to hear it. I know you want me to be safe, but living in a world that hates me does not make me safe,” said Alura softly. She could see that Lucy was scared of her getting hurt, and she wanted her to know that she was taking that seriously. Alura was sure that Lucy was probably this worried about anybody potentially getting hurt, but it made her heart flutter all the same to know that Lucy would worry about her.

“Just ... just pick your battles, okay? Don’t start a fight you can’t win. Don’t say anything if it won’t get you anywhere. Don’t take risks if it’s not worth it,” said Lucy. She decided that Alura was too stubborn to talk out of her position, so she just wanted her to be as safe as possible.

“Okay,” Alura conceded. She had to admit, it was strange to suddenly be on this side of things. She had always been pro-government. But that was the Kryptonian government. She had believed in Krypton’s laws and policies, and she mostly still did, but that didn’t translate into her believing in America’s laws and policies. 

“Okay,” said Lucy gratefully. She imagined that that was as good as she was going to get.

* * *

Cat had just decided to work from home. She didn’t have Kara’s exhaustion, so she couldn’t stay in bed for as long as her girlfriend. She didn’t want to leave Kara though. She knew it was vaguely ridiculous; as if her super powered girlfriend needed her protection. But Kara was vulnerable in ways that her powers didn’t protect her from - like her own naivety. 

Kara finally woke up again and reluctantly got up. She was surprised to find that her girlfriend was in their home office. She had expected her to be in her actual office. “Hey baby,” said Kara, her voice still a little sleepy.

“Ah, finally awake, are you?” asked Cat lightly.

“Look, I can go into the office now and ...” started Kara. She didn’t want her girlfriend to think that she was going to be a bad employee now that she dating her.

“Kara, sit down,” said Cat firmly, interrupting her girlfriend.

“Okay,” said Kara, slightly nervously, sitting down opposite Cat. Was she in trouble? And was that as her girlfriend or as her employee?

“I want to make you part-time,” started Cat.

“What? No!” interrupted Kara. That was not what she wanted at all.

“I am not going to force this on you. Mostly because you’re my girlfriend and I don’t want you to be mad at me, but also because me trying to do something for your benefit that you don’t want hasn’t gone too well in the past. But I just ... I want you to think about it. You’re working two jobs. It makes sense that neither of them is full-time,” said Cat softly, trying to get Kara to see reason.

“But I can’t tell anybody about me being Supergirl,” pointed out Kara. It was one of the biggest downsides of being a super hero, really. Not being able to tell people what you were doing led to a lot of people feeling let down and forgotten, when they really would have understood if they had’ve known the truth. Except then they’d be at a greater risk, as would the superhero.

“Well, you don’t owe anybody an explanation. Especially since I’m the CEO, so I can give you the job that you want, with the hours that you want,” said Cat flatly. She had been making exceptions for Kara since Day 1 of her being Supergirl. For God’s sake, she had even hired another assistant to fill in for her while she was being Supergirl for a while. She didn’t see why Kara couldn’t take advantage of that now.

“I don’t want special treatment from my girlfriend. The whole point of this is to get the normal human experience,” said Kara. She didn’t want people to think that she had a job just because she was sleeping with the CEO. She certainly didn’t want people to think that she got a special arrangement because of it either. 

“I assure you, unbiased treatment is rather uncommon in the workplace. I could tell you stories. I suppose I will at some point,” said Cat. She realized she really did want to tell her girlfriend about what had happened to her, about everything that had ever happened to her, which was something that she’d never felt before. She also felt a real need to explain to Kara how the real world worked. 

“Look, I don’t need it, okay? I’m fine,” said Kara. Part of her couldn’t help but think that Cat wouldn’t be offering her this if she wasn’t her girlfriend. And honestly, she didn’t want special treatment. She didn’t need it. She was capable of doing this herself.

“You’re not fine though. Please, darling, just look at it objectively. You need 16 hours of sleep on a semi-regular basis to try to compensate for your exhaustion. That’s a lot for a human, but for a Kryptonian, that’s beyond substantial,” said Cat. She just needed Kara to admit that there was a problem, and really, the evidence was pretty clear.

“Well, it all works out,” said Kara dismissively. She knew that Cat just wanted to help, but she didn’t want her help on this. Besides, what would happen to her career if they broke up? It was all just too complicated.

“That’s really not how health works, darling. You can’t do something bad for a month and then compensate for it in a day,” said Cat. She would think that Kara knew that, but honestly, she wasn’t sure anymore.

“Maybe humans can’t but ...” started Kara. Cat just put her hands up for a second and sighed.

“Okay, okay. You’re convinced that you are the exception to this; fine. I give up. It’s your life and all that. If you don’t want to do anything until this goes really wrong, I can’t stop you. But I just ... I like to think that this will sink in later. And if it does, I want you to know that I will have a nice part-time contract with your name on it - no ‘I told you so’s required,” said Cat. She didn’t want an argument, she just wanted to help. But if Kara wouldn’t take it, then she wouldn’t take it.

“It’s cute that you worry about me. Everyone else always wants me to do more. You used to do that too,” said Kara. Cat winced slightly at the thought that she had hurt Kara, or was responsible for this kind of behavior from her. 

“Yes, well, everyone wants the hero to do more. Everyone wants their employees to do more as well. But I see what it does to you now. And it’s too much. Have you even had time to see your family since that night you rushed off?” asked Cat. She decided to try to appeal to Kara’s emotions, although she really did get the feeling that Kara wasn’t going to give in on this. She didn’t really get why though.

“I ... no. I’ve been busy. And honestly ... I don’t know what to say. My relationship with Aunt Astra is ... complicated. I’m glad she’s alive but ... I don’t know if I can forgive her for what she’s done. And I don’t think she even feels bad about any of it. You should have seen her there, flirting with Alex like nothing had happened,” said Kara, vaguely horrified at the memory.

“Wait ... she likes Alex? The woman who killed her?” asked Cat, confused. And she had thought people would have a hard time with her dating her assistant. 

“Yeah, I thought it was weird too. But they’re living together now, doing Rao knows what. I don’t even want to think about it,” said Kara, making a slightly disgusted face. 

“They’re living together?” asked Cat, still confused. That seemed a bit soon.

“Yeah, well, they didn’t have anywhere to go so people had to volunteer to look after them. Alex was way too eager about having my Aunt stay with her. At least my mother is with Lucy; I don’t think I have anything to worry about there,” said Kara.

“Why? Because your mother was with your father and Lucy was with James? People make mistakes. People get confused. People can also be bisexual,” pointed out Cat, surprised by Kara’s statement.

“Sure, but mum wasn’t throwing herself at Lucy, and Lucy wasn’t drooling over mum, so I think I’m good,” said Kara confidently.

“And don’t you want to see your mother?” pressed Cat.

“Well ... I don’t know what to say. She remembers me as a 13 year old. I barely remember being 13. She’d have to get to know me all over again. And honestly, I don’t know that much about her. She worked a lot and we didn’t really have many meaningful conversations. It was mostly just ‘I’m hungry’ and ‘but mum I don’t want to go to bed’,” said Kara honestly. She might have had a hundred conversations with that AI of her mother, but talking to her real mother was a very different thing. She didn’t know what her mother would even really be like now. She wasn’t sure that she was ready to find out. What if her mother didn’t approve of her? What if she didn’t really approve of her mother? It was so much easier to just have an image of somebody in your head than to deal with an actual person.

“Darling, as has already been established, you can do what you like. But if Carter disappeared tomorrow and then I found him at 26 years old, I’d want to spend time with him,” said Cat. She couldn’t even imagine losing her child like that, but she shuddered at the thought that he wouldn’t want to see her ten years later.

“Maybe you’re right. When I’m not so busy, I’ll go see her,” said Kara. At least that was one thing that she could agree with her girlfriend with. She was right. Her mother was finally in her life again, and she should take advantage of that. She shouldn’t let fear keep her from something that could be great.

“I can make your life a lot less busy very easily,” said Cat quietly.

“I’m going to go to the office now. I’ll probably be home late, so don’t wait up,” said Kara, ignoring that comment, standing up to kiss her girlfriend goodbye. Cat reluctantly stood up and kissed Kara deeply. She was half-hoping that her girlfriend might stay, although she doubted it. Kara kissed her back eagerly for a few seconds, but she quickly pulled away and muttered, “I love you, baby” before she super sped away.

* * *

Astra was relieved the second that she had finally arrived home with Alex. Every few hours Alex and Astra had ‘coincidentally needed to go to the bathroom’, where Alex would inject some of the sedative into Astra to keep her calm throughout the day. Vasquez had given them some very amused looks, clearly assuming that they were doing something else, which neither of them corrected. Astra had asked Alex why they needed to hide what was happening, and the best Alex could do was to say that people had a lot of prejudices, and if they knew about her anxiety then the DEO might decide that she wasn’t worthwhile as an asset. Alex explained that soldiers and police officers weren’t allowed to have problems like this, and often people from any industry were very reluctant to hire anyone that they knew had mental health problems. Astra asked why the police were allowed to shoot unarmed black civilians but they weren’t allowed to be sick. Alex didn’t really have a good answer for her. 

She mumbled out, “systemic racism and blaming white crime on mental illness so much that now people are scared of anyone who has mental health issues,” anyway though, because she had to teach Astra about how things worked here. Although really, all she would have to do to get Astra to understand would be to turn on the news and listen to them talk about a white male shooter who was ‘mentally troubled’, and an Islamic shooter who people were happy to torture for life because they were apparently just pure evil. Also, one led to conversations about improving mental health care, and the other led to wanting to ban immigrants on the basis of religion, so it was pretty clear who the privileged group was. Even though, at the end of the day, mental health wasn’t something people wanted to put a lot of money into helping people with. Maybe because so many people who had issues were, funnily enough, not from privileged groups, so nobody really cared.

Astra didn’t really understand why people wanted to blame people for their race or their health problems, but it wasn’t like she hadn’t seen it on hundreds of other worlds before. She was disappointed in this world, but not surprised. Although, she had still had a rather good day. She had finally had a calm day where she didn’t feel scared. It was still an adjustment, but she finally felt like this was manageable. Also, given all the takeaway food that had been picked up on the way home and the shows on Netflix that Alex had told her she’d love, she finally felt like she had something positive to look forward to.

She was sitting on the couch with the pizza box on her lap while Alex had her computer in her lap. She leaned slightly closer - partly to see the screen better, partly to be a little closer to Alex - and she realized that she actually felt safe with another person. She hadn’t thought that she would ever feel that again. But the sad reality was that she hadn’t felt this comfortable around anyone else her entire life. Alex was the first person who cared about her as a person - not as the leader who would protect them, or the daughter who would make them proud - and the first person who actually seemed to want to help her without any expectation of something in return. Even though Alex seemed incredibly guarded and really didn’t talk about herself much, Astra couldn’t help but feel comfortable with her despite how little she knew about her. She definitely wanted to get to know her better though. She hoped that Alex wanted to get to know her too.

* * *

Kara got home at around 1. She wasn’t even really tired, but she was definitely a little hungry, so she ended up going home so she could have a late night snack. After a few packets of Doritos, she still wasn’t tired so she decided to play some Call of Duty - which Carter had been playing and was still in the console - for a few hours. 

“Darling, please come to bed,” said Cat tiredly. Kara turned around to see her girlfriend watching her from just outside their bedroom. She was wearing just underwear and a loose t-shirt, which Kara thought might actually be hers. Not that she really wanted it back.

“Oh, Rao, baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up,” started Kara.

“You didn’t wake me up. I can’t sleep. Because you’re not in bed with me. So all I can do is worry about you,” said Cat. She was incredibly tired, and vaguely annoyed at Kara’s seemingly teenage behavior. 

“I’m not tired baby,” said Kara softly. She didn’t want her girlfriend to worry about her, but she didn’t know what she could really say to get that to happen.

“Of course you’re not! Because you slept till the afternoon. This is what happens when you mess with your sleep cycle,” said Cat, trying not to yell, but definitely ending up slightly louder than she usually was.

“Well, I’ll just stay awake for a while and then I’ll be tired tomorrow night,” said Kara simply. She had done this before; she knew the drill. She just had to wait it out.

“That is the worst idea I’ve ever heard,” muttered Cat. Kara had to be the first person she’d met over 20 with no real understanding that exhaustion was bad.

“I do it all the time,” said Kara, trying to be reassuring.

“Of course you do. And how do you like being tired all day?” asked Cat. She was trying not to be aggressive, but she was very tired, so it came out pretty aggressively. 

“Well, it’s not ideal. But it’s fine,” said Kara, still trying to be reassuring.

“Yes, yes, everything is just fine. You’re just fine. Do you know what ‘denial’ means?” asked Cat, being rather openly aggressive at this point. She loved Kara with all her heart, but God she was being stupid.

“Baby, you’re tired. You need to sleep,” said Kara softly. She had worked with her girlfriend long enough to recognize what she was like when she was tired. She super sped across to her girlfriend, gently picked her up and deposited her in their bed. Then she crawled in beside her and let Cat rest her head on her chest as her left arm curled around her. Cat wanted to say more but Kara was so nice and comfortable, and the arm around her made her feel so nice, that she quickly just fell asleep. 

She didn’t stir when Kara soon left to play Call of Duty.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit long but I wanted it to end on a happier note so I had to keep going for a bit longer.

Cat hadn’t seen Kara all day. She’d been gone when she’d woken up, and she hadn’t been at the office either. She imagined she was out saving the city, so she didn’t think much of it.

It was midday when they got the breaking news: Supergirl had failed to save somebody. But it was more complicated than that – she should’ve saved him. She was flying a little boy to safety from a fire to the sound of a cheering crowd when she seemingly dropped him for no reason. And then he fell onto hard concrete and died on impact. Nobody could understand why Cat wanted to go home immediately, but they didn’t question it. They’d seen how Cat Grant dealt with people who questioned her, and they didn’t want to get fired

Cat opened the door to her apartment to see her girlfriend, still in her Supergirl suit, bawling her eyes out, lying on their couch. “Oh Kara,” whispered Cat almost involuntarily, quickly stepping inside and shutting the door. She started to cry harder as her girlfriend walked over to her and sat down next to her head. “Darling, if you hadn’t have been there, he would have died anyway,” offered Cat softly, running her fingers through Kara’s hair. She didn’t really know how to be comforting, but she was going to try for the woman she was hopelessly in love with. 

“You ... you don’t hate me?” asked Kara through her sobs. She had been convinced her girlfriend would tell her what a bad hero was, that she should have listened to her, that if she hadn’t have been so tired, she easily would’ve caught the boy before he hit the ground. She had already played ten different scenarios of Cat screaming at her in her head, and telling her that she was going to leave her because why would she ever want somebody as awful as her?

“I’ll never hate you, darling. And you made a mistake. We all wish they didn’t happen, but they do. But ... it was because you were tired, wasn’t it?” asked Cat gently. She had desperately wanted to avoid this. She had always known something would go wrong. And now Kara was a wreck; she could only imagine how her girlfriend was going to fair when the media got stuck into her. She hated seeing Kara like this. It was one of the many reasons she had implemented that ‘no crying at work’ rule. She’d had a hard enough time trying to be emotionally detached with her normally, and watching her be vulnerable would’ve made it even harder.

“Yes. I should have listened to you. If I had then he’d be alive,” stated Kara, ready to take responsibility for her actions, although she couldn’t help but start crying even harder. She couldn’t believe she’d killed someone. And not someone like Max, but an innocent person. Someone with their whole life ahead of them. All because she’d been worried about her own career at Cat Co. How could she have been so selfish? And how could she possibly expect Cat to want somebody like that?

“Darling, we’ve all not taken advice we really should have. Trivial as it may seem, experience comes with age. And without experience, we make bad decisions. Like beating yourself up over something you can’t change,” Cat pointed out, gently wiping away Kara’s tears as they fell. 

“It’s all my fault though,” whimpered Kara between shaky breaths. She didn’t feel like she deserved her girlfriend’s comfort after what she’d done. She wished she’d stop being so understanding and loving. She wanted her to admit she was a horrible person, because that was what she deserved. Cat, on the other hand, deserved better. She deserved to be loved by the hero she’d thought Kara was. 

“We all make mistakes, darling.” It was a simple truth people had a way of forgetting. The second somebody else made a mistake, most people were happy to jump on it and criticise. But the people who criticise you have made mistakes too, and they often don’t appreciate criticism from anyone else. Of course, then there were people like Kara, who would forgive everyone else’s mistakes, but not their own. 

“Stop! Okay? Stop defending me! A child is dead because of me! And it’s all my fault!” yelled Kara. Cat didn’t think she’d ever heard Kara scream like that. She was clearly upset. More than upset, she was hysterical. Cat wasn’t sure she could be reasoned with right now.

“What do you want, Kara? Do you want me to leave you alone?” asked Cat. She didn’t want to make her girlfriend upset. She wanted to help, but if her presence wasn’t having that effect, then she’d leave her alone for a while.

“Yes,” snapped Kara, not wanting to hear any of the nice things she knew Cat would say because she didn’t think she deserved them. Cat nodded and walked away, although she unable to stop her own heartache as she listened to the woman she was in love with sob in pain.

* * *

Lucy had come home to a nice, clean house. Alura had been eager to prove she wasn’t a burden to Lucy, so she had been sure to put everything away and had even read every bottle in the house to figure out how to clean up her own messes. Although for all her effort, Lucy didn’t seem to notice, because she didn’t even make a single comment about any of it. She just wanted to talk about her future.

“So have you given any thought about what type of engineering you want to do?” asked Lucy. She had bought a few things (because these days just one trolley full of groceries was ‘a few things’) on the way home. She was quickly discovering a Kryptonian appetite rapidly depleted her food stores. She was hoping once she got Alura into college she could eat there and stop going through her fridge quite so fast. Although she needed to know exactly what Alura wanted to do to make a decision about where she should go.

“There are types?” asked Alura. There were already so many professions, did they really need more specialized groupings? She really shouldn’t be surprised at this point. It seemed humans had a way of making everything more complicated than it needed to be.

“Oh ... yeah. So I’ll go over the basic ones. There’s software engineering. It’s a bit specialist – there’s not a ton of people in it - and it’s basically about programming robotics. There’s not a lot of math or science, just coding. They also tend to do a bit of electrical engineering in the degree, but it’s basically programming with lower-level languages, and using inputs from sensors, instead of what users type with their keyboard, and using things like motors as an output, instead of displaying something on the screen like a web page. Then there’s electrical engineering. They do a bit of software too, although they usually don’t use that after they’ve left uni, but it’s basically about building circuits. It’s a bit more popular than software. It’s really a lot of math, with a bit of physics, along with putting wires and components together,” explained Lucy.

“So I pick between those two?” queried Alura. She still thought it was unnecessary, but at least it seemed like she could make a clear decision. Although she got the feeling that everything was about to get even more unnecessarily complicated as Lucy started laughing. 

“Oh no! Then there’s the more classical branches of engineering. For one, there’s mechanical. It’s a lot of physics, and building devices with moving parts. It’s incredibly popular, because obviously quite a few things have moving parts. There’s also civil engineering. That’s about building things that don’t move, like bridges, or buildings. It’s really popular too, because there’s obviously a need for it. It’s also a lot of physics. And then there’s chemical engineering. It’s not as popular, but the oil and gas companies are still a source of jobs, I think. There’s less chemistry in it than you’d think; it’s really about pipes. Because chemical processing is more about the pipes transporting it, or something. I don’t know; I met a girl who told me about the engineering streams once,” concluded Lucy weakly. She was a bit out of her depth on this one. Honestly, she was a lawyer, what the hell did she know about engineering? The truth was she didn’t even know much about what being a lawyer actually entailed until her third year of university, and Alura probably wouldn’t be sure she’d found something she liked for a long time either.

She hoped she’d given her enough information for Alura to make a decision. She knew universities basically outright lied to students to convince them to give them their money with the promise of a great career with so many job opportunities and a starting salary that was literally too good to be true. And sure, they would get the one in a million students who had got these fantastic opportunities to talk at seminars and career days, but it was a gross misrepresentation of the field. She still remembered one of the guys in her unit who had heard all about the excitement of being in the US Army, only to be stuck behind a desk doing paperwork most of the day.

“Well ... I did like math more than science at school. So I guess I’ll do ... electrical engineering,” decided Alura uncertainly. She knew she could always change into something else if she didn’t like it, but it still felt so overwhelming to make these decisions, especially based on such little information. She missed Krypton’s far more general ‘pick one of five things’ system. That was a great system. She really hadn’t appreciated it enough at the time.

“Okay, cool. I’ll get you into somewhere with a good electrical program then.” She had been surprised to find basically every Dean of Engineering had easily accessible dirt on them (well, easily accessible if you had access to the government surveillance systems across America) and she really had needed to narrow down which school to pick somehow. She didn’t want to randomly put Alura somewhere; she wanted her to do something she liked. She just really wanted her to be happy here, and going into a field she didn’t hate seemed like a good start. 

“Okay,” agreed Alura despite her uncertainty, which she had a feeling was obvious in her tone despite how much she tried to hide it. She didn’t really know what the hell she was doing. She barely had any information and yet it felt like she had too much, and she didn’t know if everything she was doing was a horrible mistake. But she supposed there was only one way to find out, and she could always do something else later, so she was trying to just go with it.

* * *

Alex and Astra arrived home after another successful day at the DEO. Astra was still taking her injections regularly, which were still working perfectly, and nobody had even noticed that they kept disappearing together except Vasquez, who just continued to give them highly amused and suggestive expressions. Alex was beginning to get a bit low on the drug’s supply though, since they hadn’t actually been intended for regular use, but she easily got the lab techs to make her a few dozen batches. And since she had seniority, nobody questioned why she needed them or whether or not she actually had any approval for them.

Alex and Astra quickly went to the couch, after a nice filling dinner they had eaten in the car. Astra was learning to thoroughly appreciate human cuisine. She had eaten nothing but Non’s cooking previously, and while she was sure he did the best with what he could, she was very glad to be living with Alex now.

“So should I interpret our continuous watch of police shows as your way of telling me to be a good law-abiding citizen or I’ll be arrested?” asked Astra, only half-joking. She wasn’t really sure if Alex completely trusted her yet. Alex, on the other hand, couldn’t help but laugh at the idea that there was a secret message hidden behind any of this.

“I just like these shows. I always have. I was never into ... I don’t know, those boring dramas. People would be like ‘who will end up with who?’ and ‘wow he’s so hot’ but I never cared that much. I do like trying to figure out who did it though,” explained Alex. She had always thought at some point she would go boy crazy, but at some point she realised that probably wasn’t going to happen. She had decided a while ago she must be smarter than that or something.

“Maybe you’ve been watching the wrong dramas,” muttered Astra. She had a feeling she knew exactly why Alex didn’t care about the dramas she’d been watching. She was also getting the feeling Alex had no idea.

“Maybe. I don’t know. You good for another SVU episode?” asked Alex. She was glad when Astra nodded, although maybe not quite as enthusiastically as she would’ve liked, because she really liked this show. The concept had seemed pretty awful when she’d first heard it, but now she found it oddly relaxing. She liked watching rapists go to jail. It was a surprisingly cathartic experience.

“Oh, sure. By the way, who is your favourite character?” asked Astra. She was pretty sure she knew the answer, especially since she had noticed where Alex was actually looking whenever a certain female character came on-screen, but she was curious whether Alex had picked that up or not.

“Oh, Olivia, for sure,” answered Alex almost immediately. She was so compassionate, but still tough, and also so good at her job. Alex liked to think she was a lot like her.

“Mm. And do you usually like the female characters?” asked Astra. She was hoping to gently lead Alex to a certain conclusion; although since she’d never had to do this on Krypton, she didn’t know if she was doing this right or not.

“Oh, um ... yeah, I guess I do. You don’t?” asked Alex. She couldn’t imagine anybody not liking Olivia. Well, maybe people like Maxwell Lord. But she was sure Astra was nothing like him. Astra was strong, and smart, and beautiful, and … the antithesis of Max. 

“Oh, I most definitely do. But we’re talking about you. So the men in this show? Do you like them?” asked Astra. She was kind of confused as to how anybody could not realise what they were attracted to, but she was hoping Alex would be able to see it through the obvious comparison between something she liked and something she didn’t.

“Um ... I don’t know. I guess I don’t care that much about them,” responded Alex. She thought male characters in general were written so poorly that they were too hard to like. They were always whining about how hard things were for them and then expecting women to support their entire life and then sleep with them. Or they were just boring and did nothing, like in this show.

“And, out of curiosity, why do you think all that is?” asked Astra. She liked to think Alex had to have figured it out by now. It was pretty self-evident.

“I would assume because I’m a woman and I like seeing myself represented,” stated Alex obviously. 

“Uh-huh,” muttered Astra under her breath. Alex looked confused but said nothing as she hit play on the next episode. She didn’t understand why Astra had asked her about any of that, but she decided it was probably badly translated Kryptonian small-talk or something.

* * *

“Darling?” asked Cat tentatively as she made her way over to the couch where Kara had been lying for a while. Her sobs seemed to have subsided, so Cat had decided to try talking to her girlfriend again.

“They all hate me, right? I mean, Supergirl. They must hate Supergirl,” rambled Kara. She could only imagine how badly people were taking this. People who just wanted to hate aliens would have all the ammunition they needed to get people who were on the fence on board with their bigoted agenda. Humans might pretend not to care about species, but when an alien made a mistake, suddenly the entire species was called into question. Of course, humans could go around shooting children every day, and nobody blamed their entire species; only the perpetrators of the crime were guilty. And even then, every news report managed to suggest they were mentally ill, so ‘it wasn’t really their fault’.

“Darling, given the election coming up tomorrow, it’s barely getting any coverage. And I don’t think anyone will even remember this in a week,” predicted Cat confidently. Sometimes people got lucky, and this time her girlfriend had gotten very lucky. People were either talking about how a man who had admitted sexual assault and outright lied constantly was somehow still running for president, or about how a woman who had used her own email server was still running for president. Regardless of what people’s political opinions were, it was a very well covered election, and nobody was really talking about anything else.

“They ... what? But ... really?” asked Kara. She had a lot of faith in her girlfriend, but that didn’t seem possible.

“Trust your girlfriend with the billion dollar media company, darling. I know a thing or two about this. When people release information is important. People always aim to release bad news in the midst of big news about something else. That way nobody even notices,” explained Cat. She had seen it done a hundred times before – and that was in this year alone. Sometimes the best way to hide was in plain sight, and releasing bad news knowing nobody would read it was a smart strategy. Outrage was almost always only present on the release of news, so if after a few days nobody had done anything, it was almost guaranteed to never be heard of again. 

“I think his family will notice,” whimpered Kara, her voice breaking again. She didn’t care about the potential media storm; it was about the impact of her actions. She was still amazed that Cat hadn’t left her for being an awful person nobody could love, although she was starting to believe that her girlfriend really didn’t see it that way. 

“Of course they will. Look, I know this is sad. And you can lie here and feel sad for as long as you want. You don’t have to force anything. But I am here for you.” She still wasn’t sure if she was doing this right, but she didn’t think it was going too badly. Kara seemed to be talking to her again, at least.

“I ... I feel like I’ve failed. You told me I could have everything once, remember? Was that true?” asked Kara. She knew how smart her girlfriend was, but she couldn’t help but doubt that particular line. 

“To a degree. You have to make choices in life. You have to prioritise some things over others. That doesn’t mean the things that don’t come first can’t exist in your life, but it does mean you have to make compromises. I put my career first for a long time. And then I had the flexibility to spend more time on other things. But I had to make sacrifices to get there. I think I told you before you can everything, but not all at once. That’s probably a generalisation. It depends on other things, like whether or not your workplace will actually promote you if you put the work in, or whether or not you have a support system ... you know. But since you have me, and my money ...” started Cat. She always wanted her girlfriend to know she would support her, both financially and emotionally.

“Ugh, I don’t want your money though!” shouted Kara, far louder than she had intended. She was sick of her girlfriend offering her things like that. She didn’t want any of it.

“You are the first person to ever say that to me,” murmured Cat, mostly to herself. She was in a slight state of shock. She had never met anybody who refused the idea of financial help from her. Kara had always seemed a bit hesitant about her money, but Cat had thought she just didn’t want to seem like she was only in it for the money. Which Cat had always thought was absurd, because her girlfriend had never even asked for anything. She supposed this did make more sense – in a way.

“I just want to be ... I’m a superhero. I’m supposed to save people; I don’t want to be saved,” explained Kara more calmly. She wanted her girlfriend to understand. She appreciated her intentions, but she didn’t want her help.

“I see. So after all my trust issues, it turns out you have some too, huh? You’re scared if you rely on me and I leave you then you’ll be in trouble?” asked Cat gently. She was vaguely amused by this turn of events, especially given how open Kara always tried to seem. Although she really should know by now that people are never what they appear to be. She tried to appear cold because she wasn’t, and she tried to distance herself from people so she didn’t get attached and get hurt later. Kara, it seemed, wanted a different kind of distance to avoid getting hurt.

“I ... yes? But also ... I want to help people. I don’t know ... I feel weird when it’s the other way around. Like it’s ... wrong, I guess” rambled Kara. She had never really thought about this in conscious terms, but saying it aloud made her question if she was even making any sense. She had no trouble accepting some help but … for some reason money just seemed like too much. 

“Well, one-sided relationships are, in fact, the problematic ones. So not letting me help you would really be the wrong way to go,” stated Cat calmly. She sometimes forgot she was Kara’s first relationship, and given her age she had almost completely forgotten what that experience was like. She wanted to explain everything to Kara, but often she didn’t know what she was missing, so she didn’t know what to say.

“But I can never help you the way you can help me. All your money, all your power ... it’s not equal. It is one-sided,” countered Kara. She realised she might think money was too much to ask because she couldn’t give it back. Cat didn’t pay her very well. Not that Kara minded, usually. But she didn’t want to take more than she got. That’s not what her parents taught her – either on Earth or on Krypton.

“Kara, darling, it barely makes a difference to me. I have a company worth billions of dollars. If you never paid a cent towards anything it wouldn’t matter. Making you part-time and hiring somebody else part-time is the single most innocuous use of my power as CEO I’ve ever heard of. I think you might have blown this a little out of proportion. I’m not doing much. I’m certainly not really giving up anything. And as for the idea that you don’t want to need me because I might leave, I assure you whether or not our romantic relationship continues I will make sure you get everything you want and need out of your day job,” corrected Cat. She wasn’t used to anybody telling her she was doing too much in a relationship. Most people had told her she wasn’t doing enough, that she was too focused on work and that she didn’t act like she cared enough. Not Kara though. Never Kara. She certainly appreciated that, but she didn’t want Kara to think she wasn’t entitled to her girlfriend’s help sometimes.

“I ... I feel like I’ve been very stupid all of a sudden,” mumbled Kara. She hadn’t really thought about it from her girlfriend’s perspective. Of course it wasn’t a big deal to her. Bringing Cat her morning coffee was more effort than Cat giving her a new contract was. And as much as Kara didn’t want any help whatsoever to prove she could do it herself, clearly that hadn’t worked out.

“Yes, well, we all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them. So, are you finally going to sign my nice part-time contract?” asked Cat gently. She was glad Kara finally seemed willing to let her help. She wished it had been under better circumstances though. She hoped it wouldn’t always take these kind of dire circumstances for her girlfriend to let her do something like this for her.

“Yes,” mumbled Kara. She still found it hard to admit, but she knew she had to. Especially after what had happened.

“Okay, good. So are you feeling okay enough to eat something?” asked Cat. She didn’t want her girlfriend to starve, and she knew how much she was supposed to eat per day.

“Um ... yeah, I guess,” mumbled Kara without her usual enthusiasm for food. At least she was willing to eat something, Cat decided.

“Okay, I made some chicken. I’ll bring it out to you.” She got the impression that Kara didn’t want to move. Kara seemed to silently agree, or at least that’s how Cat was interpreting Kara’s lack of reaction. She brought her a plate full of chicken with a few vegetables on the side, which Kara quickly scoffed down. She hadn’t even realised she was hungry, but the second she took a bite she remembered that she needed like … 9000 more calories today. Cat was just glad she’d bought a few chickens yesterday.

* * *

“What does that word mean?” asked Astra a few minutes into the episode. Alex couldn’t quite believe her bad luck. This particular episode revolved around somebody raping and killing a trans woman, and now Alex had to tell Astra just how awful her species was. Again.

“It’s a slur. Against trans people,” explained Alex.

“Trans?” asked Astra. She hadn’t heard that word before.

“Yeah, like ... people who got ... like ‘male’ put on their birth certificate but at some point they were like ... no, that’s not it. They usually change their name. And sometimes they need hormones and surgery to feel right in their body. You must have had them on Krypton.” She was sure it was a universal concept.

“Oh, yeah, sure. On Krypton you could buy those drugs at ... our version of Walmart. No doctors or surgeries required. But we didn’t have slurs about them. Nobody cared whether your anatomy, or your name, had changed since birth. It’s a rather odd thing to care about, really. Lots of things change from when you were younger. We had slightly different gender stereotypes though. It was green for girls and white for boys. Some people thought that only girls should wear tank tops. Some people thought that only boys could like history. I thought it was stupid then, and I think it’s stupid now. Both on my planet and yours.” 

She had always thought gendered colours were absurd. As she had demonstrated with the white streak in her hair. She still remembered her parents horrified faces when she had come home with it. Alura had just told her she looked great, much to her parent’s horror, although later she had pointed out she’d now have to go to her own boring classes, instead of getting Alura to do it for her. Astra had just told her it was worth it to hear their parents swear like that. 

“Yeah, me too,” agreed Alex. She had never fit a lot of stereotypes about women, and she had decided she didn’t need to a long time ago. People often told her she should grow her hair and wear more dresses, but she realised she felt comfortable like this, and that was what mattered. If it made other people uncomfortable, then that was their problem, not hers. She didn’t want to spend time around people who made her feel like she was supposed to like things she didn’t anyway.

“What’s that word?” asked Astra ten minutes later.

“Um ... it’s another slur. Against gay people,” said Alex. She sighed. This episode was really on a roll for unnecessary bigoted language. She felt her heart rate pick up a little when she heard it, although she didn’t really know why. She didn’t care if someone was gay. She decided she must just be nervous about what Astra was going to say. Were gay people as accepted as trans people on Krypton? 

“We obviously had that on Krypton too, although we didn’t have slurs against them though. I suppose that’s because it’s not okay here?” asked Astra. She was really starting to wonder what other arbitrary characteristics were used as a pejorative here. There seemed to be a long list.

“Um, it is. I mean, not for everyone. But it’s a lot better now.” She had grown up in a small town, so she knew a lot of people still weren’t okay with it. But she had also watched Kara openly date Cat, and although there had been some very unnecessary comments by some people who didn’t actually know either of them, people seemed pretty nonchalant about it now.

“Right. That must be hard then. For the gay people.” 

“Yeah, I guess,” agreed Alex weakly. She could feel her heart rate speed up again. Why did Astra want to talk about this so much? She just wanted to stop talking about it. Because ... it didn’t matter. She didn’t care about anyone’s sexuality, really. She never had. She was very tolerant.

“But, I mean, it must be harder to not be happy. To constantly repress how you feel. Or to constantly lie about how you feel. Or to be scared the people who say they love you don’t really. I think it’s probably better to ... bite the bullet and find out if they do or don’t. Don’t you?” pressed Astra. She was trying to get Alex to see she might be scared of people’s reaction, but being honest really would make her feel better in the long run. It wasn’t like she needed her parent’s money. She didn’t have to hide so they wouldn’t disown her. 

“I guess,” responded Alex. Astra didn’t really know what to do with that, so she decided to drop the subject for the time being.

* * *

The day of the election was of monumental importance to Cat. She had never thought that a woman could ever be president, and she was hoping to God that she had been wrong. Kara had stayed home, since she still felt awful, but she had still lined up to vote in the early morning with her girlfriend. Afterwards Kara had flown home while Cat headed to the office. She knew it was going to be a long day, and probably a long night, but she was looking forward to it all. She had been sceptical about human decency, but all the polls showed Hillary was going to win. Maybe this time hate really would lose. Maybe a man who casually threatened to investigate his political rivals and bomb the innocent families of criminals was too much for Americans. Maybe they would elect the woman with decades of political experience over the man who still didn’t seem to understand what a ‘blind trust’ was.

* * *

“The election results will be on. Do you want to watch the first female president of the United States get elected?” asked Lucy. She wasn’t particularly excited about this election, although she was glad it was about to be over.

“Sure,” agreed Alura. She didn’t know if she actually felt like learning about the American electoral system right now, but sitting on the couch with Lucy did sound nice.

“Okay, then.” Lucy happily sat down on the couch as Alura followed her and sat at the opposite end of the couch so she was a respectable distance away from her as she turned on the TV.

“A strong Latino turn out is expected to help Hilary Clinton, especially in key states like Florida. Not a lot of results have come in, and none for any of the swing states, but exit polling suggests this will be a victory for Clinton,” announced the reporter.

“She’s the one you want to win?” asked Alura. She assumed the woman on the screen in the nice suit was the potential next president.

“Yeah,” confirmed Lucy. She certainly wasn’t voting for Donald Trump. She didn’t like his constant racism and sexism, and above all, his policies were absurd. She did believe in tax cuts, so more businesses would move here and create jobs, and so existing businesses would do better and hire more people, which would increase employment and hopefully the actual tax revenue collected. But that was about the only thing he had said that made sense. 

She didn’t think they needed to spend a ton of government building a wall that anybody could climb over anyway. She didn’t think anybody should be encouraged to have their own nuclear weapons program. She didn’t believe in his brilliant secret plan to defeat ISIS; she was confident the US military was doing everything they could now and they didn’t need Donald’s advice. 

She had always voted Republican, because her views had always aligned with the Republican party, and honestly, she still wasn’t sure how he had ended up as her party’s candidate. She believed in the free market, not pouring tax payer dollars to keep a few jobs that clearly weren’t viable in the country, which had always been her party’s position, although apparently now they believed in protectionism. 

The entire slogan ‘make America great again’ kind of summed it up. He wanted to go back to the past, to have old jobs in old industries. But this was America. The greatest capitalist nation on Earth. They needed to adapt to what the current market needed, and what was economically viable given what other countries were capable of producing, instead of whining about Mexico.

“The Republicans have claimed a few safe seats early ...” continued the reporter.

“What’s a Republican?” asked Alura over the report. She decided if she was going to sit here, she may as well understand what was happening. And she might need to know to blend in.

“Um ... so there’s two sides. Democrat and Republican. The Democrats are left-wing, and the Republicans are right-wing. The right-wing is mostly about pro-business, low-tax policies. And the left-wing is about higher taxes for higher services, almost always to help people who don’t earn that much. I mean, that’s just one bit of the economic policy, and there are other factors, but I’ll keep it simple for now,” elaborated Lucy, who was about to expand on other policies, but shut her mouth when she saw Alura’s glazed over eyes.

“I see. And Hilary is a … ?”

“Democrat,” answered Lucy.

“So you are a Democrat?” asked Alura. She wasn’t sure if she was getting the terminology right, so she decided to check. She would rather look stupid in front of Lucy now than be found out as an alien later.

“Well ... no. I’m a Republican. But I voted Democrat this time, because the guy running for the Republicans hates my entire existence, since I’m a latina woman, and yours too, since you’re an alien, and he literally has no political experience, and why would I trust the economy to a guy who went bankrupt 6 times, and he wants to ban an entire religion, and ...” started Lucy. She honestly didn’t even know where to start with explaining to Alura how awful this guy was.

“I understand. I assure you, other worlds have had people like that who wanted power. You are wise for trying to stop him,” said Alura darkly. She knew how those worlds had turned out.

“Yeah, we’ve had people like that on this planet. And I’ve seen where it goes too, and I don’t intend to see it happen here.” She was confident common sense would prevail. His policies were ludicrous.

“If it did though ... how unsafe would you be?” asked Alura. She knew how often people could win democratic elections on a platform of racism. Lucy may be confident in people’s common sense, but she wasn’t. There was a reason Krypton wasn’t a democracy. People weren’t that smart, and Alura certainly didn’t trust them enough to pick good policies, let alone good politicians.

“He won’t get in,” dismissed Lucy. She’d been very interested in this election. She’d checked the polling this morning. It was okay. She was safe.

“If you say so,” agreed Alura unconvincingly. She was hoping Lucy was right, although watching state after state being announced for the Republican party was not helping her confidence.

* * *

Cat and Kara were on the couch, watching the coverage of the election with Carter. They were ready to watch Hilary get elected as the next president of the United States. The decision in this election had been incredibly simple for both of them. Kara, as an alien who shockingly didn’t want to be deported, had voted Democrat (she had been given false papers when she’d arrived on Earth so she could vote). She a registered Democrat anyway, and she was happy with a lot of what Hilary said, so it wasn’t like there was any doubt as to who she was going to vote for.

Cat was also a registered Democrat. She naturally leaned that way being a journalist, since the left-wing was often more willing to respect freedom of the press while the right-wing liked to keep secrets and say it was all for ‘national security’. She was also concerned about climate change, and she had interviewed enough scientists who had very calmly explained that they had done experiments proving that carbon dioxide absorbed more heat rays than normal air, and heat obviously melted ice, and then they had less calmly explained that debating man-made global warming was absurd. So, naturally, she preferred the Democrat’s policy on that one too.

Cat was also a woman with an alien girlfriend. She would never do anything to hurt Kara, and she was sure that the Republicans, regardless of who was at the top of the ticket, would do just that. Of course, this particular election would be worse for her than she could’ve ever imagined. But no matter who the Republicans ran, Cat couldn’t imagine voting any other way. The Republican party in charge would always be more of a danger to her girlfriend, and she would never vote for that. She’d seen Republican party policy for a few decades, and whether it was enhanced police powers or voter ID laws, it always disproportionally hurt racial minorities, which Cat had no interest in supporting. 

“We’re starting to get numbers from Ohio and Florida. It’s close ... but both are swinging towards Trump,” commented the reporter with a fair amount of surprise.

“Oh God,” muttered Cat under her breath. She had always known this was a possibility. But watching it happen, right here, right now, right next to her alien girlfriend ... was terrifying.

“Baby, it’s early numbers. They only have a few percent of the vote counted. It’s probably just from a pro-Trump area. I’m sure the next areas that they count will be for Clinton,” dismissed Kara. She put her arm around her girlfriend and held her close while she kissed her forehead quickly. She didn’t want to be too affectionate with Carter in the room, but her girlfriend clearly needed some comfort. She was more than happy to oblige.

“Sure, darling,” agreed Cat, somewhat unconvincingly, as she cuddled into Kara’s side and put her head on her shoulder. Kara had just started feeling better. She had been excited about Hilary. She had mentioned that when things went wrong in her life she had thought to herself: if Hilary could get back up after failure, then so could she. But she didn’t think that Hilary was going to come back from this. Honestly, she didn’t know if Kara was going to come back from this one either.

* * *

Alex and Astra were on the couch watching the election coverage. Alex had explained the current situation to her, and given how xenophobic Trump was, Astra was rather invested in the outcome. People had problems with her existence as an alien now. She could only imagine living in a country where the government openly shared that view as well.

“North Carolina, another swing state, has Trump out in front as well. Florida now has Clinton out in front now, but that may change again soon,” commented the reporter.

“Who did you vote for?” asked Astra nervously. She had to know if the person she living with valued her fundamental rights or not.

“Clinton, obviously. I only registered to vote for this election. I’m not very political, but this guy is awful for so many people, and I wanted to vote to stop him,” answered Alex simply. She had watched how horrible Kara felt after hearing his anti-alien rhetoric, and she would never want him in power. She had decided she’d actually vote in this election a few months into the primaries. Kara had been convinced he wouldn’t win then, but Alex had seen the polls and decided he was worth getting off the couch to stop.

Alex had never really gotten into politics. She thought it was boring. She didn’t really understand what people were arguing over half the time. The Republicans talked about jobs. Jobs sounded good; she liked having a job. The Democrats talked about better government services. That sounded good too; she wanted people to have healthcare and an education. But overall, she didn’t really have a preference. So she’d never voted.

“Do you think he’s going to win?” asked Astra, slightly defeated. She had a feeling she knew where this election was going. She had seen some videos of this man’s rallies, of people full of hatred and violence, and she had seen many worlds with people espousing the same hatred elect people just like him.

“No,” replied Alex confidently. So a few states were swinging to the right-wing. It happened. It’s not like the Democrats couldn’t afford to lose a few states.

“I don’t want to live in a country that hates me,” mumbled Astra. She was glad Alex was on her side, but it was hard to imagine dealing with so much hatred for just existing.

“You don’t,” countered Alex confidently, grabbing her arm reassuringly for a few seconds. Astra smiled; not because she really believed Alex, but she did like the hint of physical contact. She had a feeling it was going to be the highlight of the night.

* * *

“Florida is back to having Trump out in front. Ohio and North Carolina are being called for Trump at this time. Michigan and Wisconsin, other key states, are starting to come in now and Trump is ahead in both. If either of those were to fall to Trump, a Trump presidency may be a real possibility,” predicted the reporter with a vaguely horrified tone.

“Darling, maybe we should talk about what you’d do if he wins,” started Cat softly. She was a realist. There was no point in denying the reality. Well, okay, she did have a habit of denying her feelings, but that was different. They needed a plan now.

“He won’t. He ... can’t,” said Kara, her faith somewhat shakier than before, but still there. She loved this country. It was her home. It wouldn’t do this to her.

“Yeah, he can’t win. He’s awful. And he might take away your rights,” added Carter, suddenly horrified at the possibility that his mothers (in his head, he’d accepted that Kara was going to be his mother a few weeks ago, but he wasn’t saying anything yet because adults were weird about stuff like that) wouldn’t be able to get married. What if something were to happen to Cat? He’d be stuck with his father. That was not something he wanted. Kara might have flaws, but she cared about him, and she showed up a lot more of the time than anyone else ever had.

“Carter, maybe you should go to bed. I’ll tell you who won in the morning.” It was getting late, and she didn’t really want to see his face as he slowly realised they were going to lose. Besides, she was scared either she or Kara would fall apart and she didn’t want Carter to see that.

“But I want to see her win!” declared Carter enthusiastically. He was excited for Clinton to be president. She didn’t make his Muslim friends feel terrified. Or his mothers. She had a message of tolerance and acceptance. He was convinced Americans believed in freedom, so how could they vote to oppress people?

“Carter, please. You have school, and I don’t need you falling asleep in class. This is going to take a while. Go to bed,” ordered Cat. She was sure it would be easier for him to hear the news in the morning anyway. And she didn’t want him to be more sleep deprived than he had to be.

“Ugh, fine,” agreed Carter reluctantly, getting up and walking to his room.

* * *

“Both Michigan and Wisconsin are looking like they’ll go to Trump. Florida is being called for Trump as well. Iowa is coming in now and it seems Trump is in front. The chances of a Trump presidency are now looking ... likely,” announced the reporter in disbelief.

“I’m sorry you won’t get your female president,” said Alura sympathetically. Lucy was currently in her arms, trying not to cry with her head buried in her neck and shoulder. Alura ignored the fact that the woman she liked very much was currently so close to her, because she was devastated. Alura hated that Lucy felt like this. She’d do anything to make her feel better, but she was pretty sure there was nothing she could do that would make this better.

“It’s not ... really about that,” said Lucy, leaning more into Alura as she felt her strong arms close around her. It made her feel safer than ... well, anything else that had happened today.

“I know. But ... I’d never let anybody hurt you, you know?” asked Alura. She hoped Lucy knew she was on her side, even if nobody else was.

“You can’t stop them from hurting me though. First of all, because this hurts me. Knowing how much my own country hates me hurts me. And secondly, you can’t be there every second of every day,” explained Lucy in a broken voice. She knew where this hatred led. She’d dealt with racism her whole life, and now the only thing she was sure of was it was about to get worse.

“I promise you I will do everything in my power to protect you anyway,” promised Alura. She didn’t want anybody to be this sad. Or scared. And she certainly didn’t want Lucy to feel like that. She knew she couldn’t be there all the time, but she did want Lucy to know she’d defend Lucy when she could.

“Thank you,” whispered Lucy as the first tear fell. She really did appreciate Alura’s presence. She was being so strong, even though Alura was just as affected by this as she was. But she wasn’t showing it. All Alura was doing was softly rubbing Lucy’s back and offering to get her favourite ice cream from the fridge, and honestly, despite everything that was happening right now, she really did feel like at least someone cared.

* * *

“And the house is definitely going to be Republican controlled. This election, whatever happens, has certainly been an amazing accomplishment for the GOP,” announced the reporter with pride.

“This can’t be happening,” whispered Alex, holding back tears as Astra put her arm around Alex and pulled her a little closer. Alex certainly liked that. She didn’t like physical affection from a lot of people, but Astra made her feel … safe. Alex leaned into Astra and smiled sadly. “I mean, it’s not over yet, right? She can still win, right?” asked Alex, forcing herself to try to have hope. 

“Anything is possible,” said Astra stoically. She had had a feeling that hatred would win. It usually did. She wasn’t as upset as Alex was because she had come to terms with this result long before now. Alex, on the other hand, still seemed to be going for denial. It seemed to be a personal favourite coping mechanism for her, Astra thought dryly.

“He can’t win. He’s offended so many people. I mean, this is a democracy. All the Latinos and Muslims and queer people and ... I mean, women. We’re half the population. He can’t win,” repeated Alex, although her confidence was fading fast. Astra rubbing her shoulder made her feel nice but it also made her feel like there was no way this election was going to go the way she’d wanted it to.

“Just to be clear ... how bad would he be for you exactly?” asked Astra. She wanted to know if Alex was going to be okay. Her heart broke for all the people who were about to suffer, but she couldn’t help but have a specific interest in Alex.

“I mean ... I guess not that bad. I’ve never needed Planned Parenthood, free healthcare, or an abortion. Having a President who admitted sexual assault would be ... disturbing, but maybe nothing would really change. Kara would be in trouble if they ever found out she was an alien. And ... she might not be able to marry Cat, if he takes back same-gender marriage. And he might roll back anti-discrimination stuff ... not that much exists. Which would be sad ... for her.” She hadn’t really seriously thought through the actual consequences of this presidency, because she had been so sure it wouldn’t happen. But now she was thinking of all the people she knew who would be hurt by this. She couldn’t help but wonder if Astra would be taken away since she didn’t have any papers. 

“It wouldn’t be sad for you?” asked Astra pointedly. She was well aware of the looks that Alex had given her. She could hear her heartbeat. She was fairly certain she liked her. Astra had decided that now was as good a time as any to press this issue. If she was going to be deported into space tomorrow, she might as well know how Alex feels about her.

“What do you mean?” asked Alex shyly. She avoided Astra’s gaze as panic started to set in. She didn’t really know why she suddenly felt nervous; but she did.

“I mean, aren’t you attracted to women too?” asked Astra bluntly. She wanted to know if maybe she was reading all of this wrong, maybe due to cultural differences or something.

“What ... no! I mean, no offence. I don’t mind or anything. I ... no. No. Which I guess is good ... wait that sounds bad. I ... because I think this election is about to show us this country really doesn’t care about gay people, along with quite a lot of other people,” rambled Alex, suddenly blushing rather hard. Astra would have found it cute a minute ago, but now she understood. Alex was scared. It wasn’t a small amount of people who were intolerant like Astra had thought. It was half the population or more. She was scared to accept how she felt, because that would mean accepting a lot of people hated her, and who would want that? It would put her in danger, probably. But ... Astra couldn’t help but feel like Alex would still be better off being honest.

“You know ... I’ve been looking at these numbers and okay, a lot of people voted for him. But a lot of people didn’t. And I ... I think there are a lot of people who accept ... gay people. And if you were ...” started Astra, trying to be supportive, but since this wasn’t an issue on Krypton she didn’t really know how to help.

“I’m not,” interrupted Alex, her heart suddenly beating even faster.

“Right, but if ... anyone ... was, I want you to know, they could talk to me. And I may not understand exactly, but I can listen, and I can be very supportive. You know, when I’m not trying to brainwash the population,” added Astra, trying to lighten it up a bit. She could tell Alex definitely wasn’t ready to talk right now, and she didn’t want her to pull away. She might want more, but she did enjoy having Alex this close now.

“Maybe you should’ve,” joked Alex. She wasn’t really kidding though. If she had’ve known this is what people would choose to do, she would’ve taken their freedom of choice a lot less seriously. Astra chuckled and rubbed her arm in an attempt to provide some comfort. Alex’s heart was still beating pretty fast, but she did feel a little better being with Astra. She made her feel warm and safe on a day when she didn’t think that was possible. She was a good friend.

* * *

“And the Republicans have taken the senate!” announced the reporter.

“Darling, I think you need to accept that ...” started Cat.

“No! No! This can’t ... this can’t happen.” She was seeing it but she couldn’t believe it. She was half-convinced an alien must be altering her mind to make her see her worst nightmare.

“Listen, I think we need to make sure there is nothing that can identify you as an alien anywhere. I want you to be safe,” said Cat seriously. Supergirl may be openly alien, but Kara Danvers was not. So long as they could protect her identity, she would be okay. At least that was Cat’s hope.

“Is this what this is now? Everybody hiding so nobody knows we’re different? Because if they do they’ll hurt us?” asked Kara, finally breaking. He was going to win. Her own country hated her.

“Kind of,” admitted Cat, sighing. She wasn’t thrilled about the result either. She didn’t know how people were going to react to her now. She was openly in a relationship with a woman. Were people going to beat her up for that now? If people found out she was with an undocumented alien and didn’t inform the government, would she be charged? Would they call her a ‘sympathiser’ or a ‘traitor’ and kill her? She didn’t know any more.

“Baby, are you okay?” asked Kara, concerned. She had never seen Cat look so ... down. She was weirdly calm about it though, which made Kara even more nervous.

“I think ... I think we should go somewhere else. I have the money,” stated Cat calmly. She had a plan. They were going to be okay. She’d make sure of it.

“What? We have to fight this. We can’t run away,” objected Kara. She was a hero. She didn’t run away from danger; she ran towards it.

“Darling, I want you to listen to me very carefully. I love you. I love you with all of my heart. And it would kill me to see you hurt. People are going to get violent. I love that you’re a hero. I love that you want to save people. But I want you to save me this time. Just this once. Save me from having to see you endure the hatred. Save me from the hatred directed at me. Save Carter from it all. Please. Please agree to come with me. I would never leave you, so if you say no I won’t do it, but please,” begged Cat. She’d been thinking about it for at least an hour. Now that the numbers were clear, she was ready.

“I ... okay, baby. Anything for you,” promised Kara solemnly. Cat hugged her as hard as she could and then kissed her softly.

“Thank you,” said Cat gratefully. This was the only good thing that had happened in hours.

“But if Hilary wins, we stay,” added Kara. She still held on to a shred of hope.

“Of course, darling.” She knew she’d lost, but clearly Kara needed to see it to believe it. That was okay. This wasn’t quite how she wanted their first election together to go, but it certainly had been a bonding experience.

* * *

“We are officially predicting a Trump victory. The numbers aren’t all in yet, but it is definitely looking almost inevitable. The working class has sent a clear message to Washington tonight,” said the reporter.

“Do you want me to turn it off now?” asked Alura gently. Lucy had been crying into her shoulder for a while, but the tears had subsided a few minutes ago. She still looked devastated, and Alura desperately wanted to remove the thing that was causing her pain. But she couldn’t; nobody could.

“No. I want to see it. I have to,” admitted Lucy bitterly. It was like a train wreck she couldn’t look away from. She couldn’t believe it unless she saw it, because it was almost too horrible to believe.

“He really doesn’t like aliens, does he?” asked Alura softly. She had seen worlds with leaders who blamed their problems on various groups of people. It didn’t end well for them.

“No, he doesn’t. You can’t tell people who you are, okay? At least ... not for a while. It’s not safe. I want to protect you too.” She didn’t know what was going to happen now. She had never felt this powerless before. But she needed Alura to be safe, she needed Alura to blend in so nobody targeted her, because she couldn’t take it if anything happened to her. This country was supposed to protect people, to be a bastion of freedom, not terrify people into hiding. And yet she knew that’s exactly what Alura needed to do.

“Okay,” murmured Alura. She was broken. Her previous desire to speak out was dead. All she wanted to do was hide. 

“I liked it better when you disagreed with me. And told me how bad humans were,” commented Lucy sombrely. She understood though. She was broken by this too.

“It’s okay. I understand now. I won’t insult the humans,” promised Alura as Lucy started sobbing again. All Alura could do was hold her tight and promise again and again that she’d do everything to keep her safe.

* * *

“It’s official. Donald Trump is going to be the 45th president of the United States of America,” announced the reporter.

“Okay, maybe it’s time to go to bed,” suggested Astra. She didn’t want Alex to be any more tired tomorrow, and she certainly wasn’t having fun staying awake.

“I ... don’t know if I can sleep. You know he wants to deport you, right? Even though you have nowhere to go back to, I think he’ll do it anyway,” speculated Alex with horror. She still couldn’t really believe this. How could this happen? Why would people want this?

“Yes, I know. And no, I don’t really know what I’m going to do. But he’s not going to take power tomorrow, so I have some time to work it out,” stated Astra calmly. Alex had explained how this weird voting system worked, and Astra was now glad it took so long for the new president to actually get into office.

“How can you be so calm?” asked Alex. She didn’t understand how Astra, who was really going to be affected by this, was calmer than she was.

“Because I’ve been afraid before, and I decided a long time ago I didn’t want to do that again. I’ll hide. I’ll fight. I’ll figure it out. But I don’t intend on leaving you any time soon. All I know is it’s 3 in the morning, and we’re both tired, so let’s go to bed.” She didn’t even try to make that last comment sexual. That’s how tired she was.

“Yeah ... okay,” agreed Alex, deciding she’d seen enough of all of this. She turned the TV off while Astra got off the couch and went to her room. Alex lay down on the couch with a blanket pulled over her. She tried to clear her mind, although her heart was racing and all she really wanted to do was cry. Astra felt the same, but she’d had a lot of practice feeling that way and forcing herself to go to sleep anyway.

* * *

“Donald Trump is about to address the people,” announced the reporter.

“You know, maybe he won’t do the things he said. He’s only one man. If the Republicans just say no ...” started Kara. She didn’t want to give up hope.

“Darling, listen to me. You’re probably too young to remember, but I went through Reagan. Nobody thought he was going to win. He was an actor. An idiot. An economic disaster. And yet, he became the president. And then I watched every queer person I ever knew die as he laughed off the AIDS epidemic and refused to do anything about it. It broke me. I threw myself at every man I could find, and I rushed into straight marriages I didn’t want because I thought if I didn’t I was going to die of AIDS. I told myself my attraction to women had been a phase, and I was really straight, and back then nobody used the word bisexual so I just thought I was broken because I never knew there were other people like me. I do not intend to feel like that again. And I certainly do not want you to feel anything like that. So we’re getting out of here,” explained Cat. Kara’s sunny optimism was getting annoying. They needed to react to this. They couldn’t just hope it was somehow all going to be okay.

“Baby ... I had no idea you went through that.” She was also starting to understand her girlfriend’s reluctance to make emotional connections. Watching your friends die had a way of making you want to build walls around your heart. She remembered how long it had taken her to be able to get attached to people again after waking up on Earth.

“Well, every queer person over the age of 40 went through that, so I didn’t really think I had to bring it up.” She wasn’t quite sure what Kara was confused about.

“You know ... you’re kind of the only queer person I know. Or at least, that I know is queer. I was raised in a small town; nobody was out there. And even once I moved here ... it’s just you. So I don’t really know anything that isn’t my experience,” explained Kara. Her girlfriend didn’t quite seem to understand why she didn’t know queer history by heart, and Kara wasn’t quite sure why she thought she would.

“I ... well that’s ... unfortunate. And I will be sure to tell you all about what it used to be like ... in Canada, which is where we will be very soon. Pack anything special; we can buy anything generic when we get there. Chop chop,” ordered Cat softly, turning off the TV before Trump had the chance to speak.

“Okay, baby.” She was having a hard time accepting that they should run, but if her girlfriend wanted to go, then they were going.

* * *

“So ... you work for him now?” asked Alura. It was hard to imagine Lucy enforcing the policies she’d heard about. But she was well aware people had a tendency to accept authority, regardless of how cruel the orders were.

“No! Well ... I guess in the grand scheme of things ... not yet, I guess. He doesn’t take power for like 2 months. Which is a rule I always thought was stupid, but now I rather like.” She didn’t even know how to process working under President Trump. What was she going to do if they told her to hurt innocent aliens? If she refused, she’d go to prison. If she accepted, she’d be a Neo-Nazi. She realised she’d need to decide which one was worse to her.

“So all the DEO’s records of aliens like me ... he’ll have them?” asked Alura. She was well aware of the dangers of having certain groups of people registered with the government. Anyone registered could be very easily targeted when these kind of regimes took power.

“I ... I’ll delete them. Okay?” asked Lucy. She decided she had to protect these people. And more than that, she had to protect Alura. Nobody else seemed like they were going to. The news reporters had just been talking about how the result was a win for rural areas who were left behind. But they seemed to be missing the fact that anybody in those areas who was in a minority didn’t win anything. She couldn’t help but be amazed at the nonchalance coming from the reporters on the television. They were so unaffected by it all. They got to just go to their jobs tomorrow like nothing happened. They wouldn’t be scared of being harassed, or deported, or beaten, because they were all white.

“So ... now that you think your state might target you unfairly, how on board are you with being able to execute and torture people? Or the constant surveillance they told you was to keep you safe?” asked Alura. She wondered if Lucy might’ve changed her mind given the recent circumstances. People had a way of realising things too late though.

“I ... they wouldn’t ... well ... I don’t know, okay? I don’t know anything any more.” She didn’t know if she trusted the government any more. Maybe they would keep her safe. Maybe they would target entire groups of people unfairly, including her. She didn’t know any more.

“You should go to bed,” suggested Alura softly. Lucy looked tired. And defeated. Alura thought they could both use some rest.

“Why? He’s giving such a nice speech about how tolerant he is. I’d hate to miss how he combines banning an entire religion from entering the country with governing for all,” joked Lucy dryly. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It reminded her of that show where people said ‘There is no war in Ba Sing Se’ when there clearly was. Could people really be that stupid? Could people believe something if they just heard it often enough? 

“Lucy, please. You’re going to see him give speeches for a long time. You can cut this one short. It’s been a long night,” pleaded Alura. She didn’t want to see Lucy get more upset. It wouldn’t even accomplish anything.

“Fine,” huffed Lucy, turning the TV off. Alura couldn’t help but feel some kind of loss when Lucy got up to go to her own room. She missed the feel of Lucy near her. But that didn’t matter. Lucy had shown no interest in her; she had no intention of ever telling her how she felt.

* * *

Carter woke up to see his mother looking more concerned than usual. “What’s up, mum?” he asked sleepily.

“I need you to pack, sweetheart,” said Cat softly. She hoped he was going to be okay with this. She didn’t know how much more she could take today.

“What? Why? What ... he won, didn’t he?” asked Carter, suddenly remembering the events of last night.

“Yeah,” answered Cat sombrely.

“I’ve always wanted to see Canada.” He didn’t really want to move, but he definitely wanted both of his mothers to be safe. Besides, Canada seemed nice. Going to school without having to worry about getting shot since they had gun control sounded cool.

“I’m sorry we have to pull you out of school. You were just starting to make friends,” apologised Cat. She was surprised he was taking it all so well. She really was sorry about how this all worked out.

“Mum, don’t worry about it. We have Facebook,” dismissed Carter. He knew the distance would probably kill most, if not all, of his friendships, but it didn’t really matter. His mother looked more broken than he’d ever seen anybody look, and he didn’t want to make it harder for her.

“You’re growing up so fast,” muttered Cat, getting slightly emotional. She knew what Carter was doing. He was trying to make her feel better. When did that happen?

“Ugh, whatever. Do I get breakfast?” asked Carter. He had made the mistake of not eating before early plane flights before. He had been starving by the time they had landed. His mother had been so sick of hearing about how hungry he was that she’d let him eat greasy fast food. It really wasn’t that good. He really didn’t understand why so many people ate it.

“Kara is making some now. Should be ready in ten minutes. Just pack the irreplaceable things; we can buy you new stuff when we’re there. I know you might not love my job, but money does buy you freedom sometimes.” She liked to gently remind her son why she did the things she did. She didn’t want him to make avoidable mistakes, so she explained things to him.

“Maybe the reason you care about money so much more than me is because you always needed that freedom, but I don’t.” He’d never really thought about how his mother’s sexuality had affected her life when he’d learned she was dating Kara, but now he thought she made a lot more sense.

“Maybe, sweetheart. You’re still going to go to college and get a high-paying job. Ten minutes,” said Cat sharply, walking away. She might be devastated, but she was still holding strong on the ‘you will go to college’ message. She made a mental note to look up what the best colleges in Canada were.

* * *

“You’re quiet,” mentioned Astra on the way to work. Alex wasn’t usually that talkative, but she usually made a few comments. Mostly about how bad the other drivers on the road were, which was incidentally how she’d learnt a lot of English swear words. But now Alex was nothing but silent.

“Nothing to say,” responded Alex flatly. She didn’t know what to do. She felt so ... broken. And yet she didn’t really know why. She felt almost ... betrayed. But she had no reason to. She wasn’t an alien. She wasn’t an immigrant. She wasn’t Muslim. She wasn’t ...

“You know, it’s okay to say you’re sad. I’m sad,” admitted Astra. She didn’t usually open up to people, but she was giving it a shot for Alex. She wanted Alex to stop repressing ... anything, really.

“Okay, I’m sad. I wish he hadn’t won. Happy?” asked Alex dryly. Astra sighed and went back to staring out the window.

* * *

“Maybe you should take the day off,” suggested Alura softly. Lucy was up early, as per usual, although her mood was darker than Alura had ever seen. She was crushed. She was broken. She wasn’t thinking clearly.

“You can’t not show up to work because you don’t feel like it,” responded Lucy sharply. She couldn’t help but feel aggravated. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“Okay, Lucy. You know, if you need to talk to somebody who you know doesn’t hate you, I’ll have my phone on.” She might think the technology here was pretty basic, but it was good enough to help her talk to Lucy, so it wasn’t that bad, she decided.

“Whatever,” dismissed Lucy apathetically. She felt numb. She knew Alura was only trying to help, but she didn’t have it in her to pretend like she was okay. So she walked out the door and tried not to slam it too hard when she closed it, because that was the best she could manage right now.

* * *

When Cat and Kara landed at the airport, Cat quickly realised Kara needed her to lead. Kara looked like more of a confused puppy than usual; she clearly hadn’t been in too many airports over the years. Cat, on the other hand, easily manoeuvred to the nearest exit and got a taxi in a few seconds; all while holding her son’s hand along with her girlfriend’s.

Cat had managed to find a very high-end apartment in Toronto on short notice. It wasn’t exactly her penthouse, but it would do. Kara seemed more than impressed, and Carter just wanted to know what the internet speeds were and where he could plug in his console. Cat was exhausted; it had been an emotionally draining thing to leave everything she knew to get away from a country full of people who were suddenly a threat to her and her girlfriend.

Kara sensed Cat was tired so she gently pulled her towards their bedroom. Kara quickly shut the door as Cat lay down on the bed, hitting her head softly with the pillow underneath her a few times. “Baby, are you okay?” asked Kara, although it was clear she wasn’t.

“I have an overwhelming sense of deja vu.” She had thought at least the world was growing into a more tolerant place. She cursed herself for being so naive. 

“You’ve done this before?” asked Kara quizzically. She didn’t really know what to make of that statement.

“No, I’ve seen this before. I’ve seen it in history classes. The rise of a man who blamed the country’s problems on a few groups of people. It all sounded ... so silly. How could people be that stupid? And yet ... here we are,” said Cat tiredly. She remembered sitting through that unit on Hitler, listening to how he made Jewish people out to be the enemy, and she had sat there bored senseless. It all seemed so irrelevant. How could people hate an entire religion? In this day and age? She realised now she had been so stupid. Hatred had existed forever, and it would continue to exist forever, even if who was hated changed.

“I mean ... do you ever think maybe he’s not that bad? He doesn’t say white people are better or anything. That’s progress, right?” asked Kara hopefully. She’d taken history classes too. She liked to think this wasn’t as bad as some of the things she’d heard about.

“Darling, I don’t know what they taught you in history class, but people tend to come off as nicer than they really are. Hitler never said he was going to massacre ... well, anybody. He said all the people in his camps were having a great time. And yet, people went into hiding anyway, because it wasn’t hard to work out he was lying. Of course, people who weren’t affected seemed to buy into the lie a lot more. Maybe they were ignorant, maybe they didn’t care. I don’t know. But you are kidding yourself if you think a man, whose rallies – which you are free to look up on YouTube if you need a reminder of – basically consisted of people shouting slurs against every minority out there, is not going to hurt people,” countered Cat firmly. She didn’t need Kara’s optimism right now. She needed to be realistic.

“I ... maybe he’s only indifferent to racism. He doesn’t really want to do all that stuff, but he went along with it to get votes,” offered Kara optimistically. She was still having a hard time letting go of the country she loved.

“Well, apart from the fact that his political career – or hobby, really – started with him saying Obama wasn’t really American and we needed to see his birth certificate, although when it was produced that still wasn’t good enough, and apart from the fact that his first – and only, for a while – policy in this election was to build a wall on the Mexican border, both of which were all unprompted and indicate a clear pattern, there is the fact that indifference can massacre people too,” countered Cat. She sighed when Kara looked like she didn’t really understand. “I guess it’s time I told you about Reagan. He was the president a long time ago. Nobody thought he was going to win either. He was an actor turned politician, and he really didn’t understand anything. But he had charisma, I guess. Ringing a bell?” asked Cat.

“Yeah, I see the similarities baby,” agreed Kara with a sigh. She lay down next to her girlfriend so they were face to face and draped her arm around her. She pulled her in close as she got the feeling this was not going to be a fun story.

“Well, anyway, then the AIDS crisis hit. And back then, nobody understood what was happening. They thought gay people were getting sick because God hated them, mostly. And Reagan ... basically just laughed about it. He didn’t care because he decided an entire group of people weren’t worth saving. He didn’t put them in a camp, but he hurt them regardless. Queer people who didn’t die were terrified. Public sentiment had been getting a little better, but all of a sudden people went backwards. I started throwing myself at every man I could find. People called me all kinds of names for that, but I didn’t really mind, so long as they didn’t think I was into women. I rushed into straight marriages I didn’t want because I was scared of anyone thinking I was gay. And I love Adam and Carter but ... let’s just say it wasn’t a good experience. But Trump? He’s worse than Reagan. And that is a sentence I never thought I would say,” explained Cat.

“So, out of curiosity ... when did you start dating women again?” asked Kara. She had always thought of Cat as being so confident; she couldn’t help but wonder how new that confidence was.

“Well, how long have we been together again?” asked Cat in mock confusion. It was easier to say that than to admit outright that Kara had affected her as much as she had.

“Wait ... me? I’m the ... is that why you pushed me away so hard?” asked Kara. She was starting to think back to everything her girlfriend had done, especially in the beginning. Sure, Cat pushed basically everyone away, but she had always seemed to push Kara away more. And now that Kara was thinking about it, her girlfriend’s defensiveness was getting a lot more justified. How could she open up to people when she’d watched people treat people like her so badly?

“Among other reasons. But yes, when I met you I was still adamant I wanted to either be with a man or be with nobody. Over time I started to think maybe the world had changed. Maybe it would be okay if I came out. Seeing other public figures do it and not lose their careers gave me hope. But I never thought you liked me back, so I never seriously thought I had to worry about it. And then, well, it turned out you did. And I’m very happy about that, for the record,” said Cat, leaning into Kara little more. She really was glad that she had ended up with Kara. Despite this election result, she wouldn’t trade her girlfriend in for the world.

“Wait, but ... when I accidentally outed you ... you barely reacted,” said Kara with a confused look. Now that she was rethinking two years worth of experiences, she still didn’t understand that one.

“Well, it’s not like I could change anything. And I couldn’t see any pitchforks so ... I guess I hoped it would work out. And it did,” explained Cat. She had been rather thrown when that happened, but she had put a lot of effort into pretending she hadn’t been. Which, actually, was probably half of her whole life strategy. She had found that hiding how you felt from people kept you safe, because they couldn’t hurt you if they didn’t know where you were vulnerable.

“That’s ... you ... I wish you would’ve told me,” mumbled Kara. She couldn’t believe Cat had gone through all that alone. She wished she could’ve really been there for her.

“Yes, well, as has already been established, I’m a little guarded. But I trust you now. And I’m telling you now. And I need you to trust me when I tell you somebody who once had a rally where a black man was kicked out, because he was mistaken for a protester since his supporters are so white, is not going to be good for aliens. His idea that the police need more power, because it’s not like they’d target people over their race or anything, would hurt you. His idea that undocumented immigrants need to be deported would hurt you. I know some ethnic minorities voted for him. I imagine that most of them either made enough money to be excited about his tax cuts or were convinced that some other minority was somehow the cause of all their problems. But please ... promise me you’re not going back to that country ... until it’s safe, anyway,” pleaded Cat. She didn’t need her girlfriend doing something stupid and getting herself killed. She didn’t think she could take it.

“Baby, I love you. You know that. But I’m a superhero. And if things are going to be as bad as you think they will ... don’t you think I should try to save people?” asked Kara. She wasn’t willing to give up helping people just because some of them might’ve turned against her.

“And do what with them, exactly? When the police target specific groups of people, are you going to beat the cop to the ground? Are you going to get those who were targeted out of the country? Because they’re not safe once you leave. So what exactly are you going to do? Because it’s very easily to stop isolated threats like rogue aliens who you don’t mind locking up in indefinite detention without a trial. But would you do that to a human police officer just following orders?” pressed Cat. She knew Kara had a bad habit of not thinking things through, which was usually not that much of a problem. She was young, and she was so endearing most people helped her out. But this time she needed a real, well thought-out plan.

“I don’t know! Okay? Rao, I just don’t know what to do any more,” admitted Kara. She felt like such a failure. She didn’t even know how to be a hero any more.

“Why don’t you protect this city? It’s your home now. Protect it. Save it from criminals that we can lock away. Punch the bad guys everybody around you agrees are bad. Do what you did before, just here,” suggested Cat. She didn’t think Kara needed to change or have a philosophical crisis; she just needed to adjust to the new location.

“I ... I don’t know. I guess I’ll think about it,” conceded Kara. She didn’t know if she could really leave the people of National City behind like that. 

“It’s okay to run away sometimes, you know? There’s no shame in surviving.” She believed in heroes, and doing the right thing, and being the better person. She really did. But she was also a realist. And you can’t save anybody if you’re dead. And sometimes, the only person you can save is yourself. 

“Do you really think it’s going to be that bad?” asked Kara quietly. She knew this wasn’t good, but she didn’t know if it would be as bad as Cat seemed to think.

“I think before this election unarmed black people got shot on the streets by police and despite having a full video recording of what happened those police officers mostly got away with time off work – paid. I think since Snowden we’ve known the entire population is basically being spied on by the government, and we didn’t really care because most of us thought they were doing it to protect us, despite how much he pointed out that wasn’t the case. I think Muslims were already the victims of hate crimes, as well as actively targeted by the police, especially under the guise of anti-terrorism laws, and nobody really cared. I think people don’t shut up about terrorism despite it being an incredibly small percentage of crime because it’s an easy way to target Muslims, and nobody from any side of politics seems to want to change the fact that we put all this energy and millions, if not billions, of dollars into stopping something fairly inconsequential,” started Cat.

“Baby ...” interrupted Kara, but Cat didn’t stop. She was going to add, ‘that wasn’t really the question’ but she decided her girlfriend was clearly on a roll and wasn’t ready for her input yet.

“I think we already use the police to target various ethnic minorities, especially for non-violent drug crimes, since we know even though people use drugs at about the same rate, they get put in jail substantially more for it. And aliens just got the right to be citizens. Which is good. Unless they revoke it, which they might. But there’s still no anti-discrimination legislation to protect you. And are you even allowed to get married? My point is ... it was bad before. Really bad. And now ... it’ll be worse. And I don’t know how much worse, but honestly, I don’t know how much that matters. But I read hate crimes have already started to go up on my phone when we left the airport. People are being attacked, and people are scared. And I intend to protect you from as much of that hatred as I can,” elaborated Cat. She usually adored Kara’s optimism, much as she may deny it, but optimism didn’t save you from police brutality. And she’d be damned if she let her girlfriend’s naivety get her hurt.

“Because you love me?” asked Kara, almost like it was an accusation.

“Well, yes,” responded Cat slowly, unsure why Kara would ask that question that way. Kara knew she was in love with her. And Cat was fairly certain she loved her back.

“And what about all the other innocent people you don’t love? They just have to suffer?” asked Kara, the accusatory tone even clearer now.

“Oh, darling. You can’t save everybody,” said Cat gently.

“That doesn’t mean you can’t save anybody. And it doesn’t mean you should stop trying to help people,” countered Kara defensively. She knew her girlfriend wanted to protect her, and she appreciated that, but she wanted to protect everyone. And she wasn’t going to let fear stop her from saving all the other people who were afraid.

“Okay, darling. Okay. We’ll think about what we can do to help, and we’ll make an actual plan, and then we’ll help as many people as we can. But can we do that tomorrow? Can you just hold me now so I can relax knowing we’re safe?” pleaded Cat. She was exhausted. She hadn’t slept. She had dealt with more fear today than she had in decades. And she couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of her girlfriend getting beaten up or killed just for who she was. She’d always worried about Kara when she’d realised she was Supergirl, but at least she knew she had chosen to fight for what was right. If something ever happened, Cat knew Kara would happily accept that fate to save the people she could. But this? Nobody volunteered for being an alien. She couldn’t help it. And she certainly didn’t deserve to be hated for it.

“Of course baby,” answered Kara softly. She knew it was bad whenever her girlfriend showed her emotions, so she made sure to be extra gentle with her. She kissed her girlfriend’s forehead softly and gently tugged her closer with one arm wrapped around her.

* * *

“So that was an interesting day,” commented Astra on the ride home. She was trying to engage Alex; she was hoping for more success than last time.

“Yeah, thrilling,” responded Alex sarcastically. They had had an entire meeting about fire safety. Then they had had to walk around the entire god damn building and look at every fire exit. Because they were totally going to remember where those were next week. And the only thing worse than listening to the newly appointed fire safety warden, who was way too excited about showing them the fire exits, was listening to the comments that came Astra’s way.

People had said she’d be back in a cell where she belonged, that she’d be sent back to where she came from, that she wouldn’t be alive to see the end of Trump’s first term. And Astra had said nothing. Alex hadn’t said anything either. She felt guilty at the admission, but she couldn’t help but be relieved they were picking on Astra and not her. She didn’t know if she could take it if they set their sights on her, but she kept close to Astra and made sure nobody did anything.

“You know, just because other people hate you, doesn’t mean you should hate yourself.” She didn’t really understand Alex’s repression of her own feelings. It was one thing not to tell other people, but lying to yourself was not something Astra understood.

“I don’t hate myself,” responded Alex sharply. She didn’t hate herself. Sure, she could be very critical of her own actions. But that was just her wanting to be a better person. And okay, there had been a few times where she had wondered if she liked women and not men. But then she’d thought ‘nah’ and moved on. Because she couldn’t be, right? What were the chances, anyway?

“Right. That’s why you won’t admit how you feel – even though it clearly makes you miserable. Aren’t you sick of fighting this?” asked Astra exasperatedly. She wanted Alex to be happy. Or as happy as she could be. And Astra could clearly see what Alex was doing was not making her happy.

“Why can’t you just accept I don’t like you? I’m ... straight. And ... and even if I wasn’t ... you’re a terrorist who has done nothing but hurt people. Why would I ever want to be with someone like you?” asked Alex harshly. She tried to believe the words as she said them. She was straight. She was. She had to be. She didn’t like Astra. She was confused. Astra was a terrorist. Why would she like her anyway? She ignored the fact that her heart was beating out of her chest again; she was probably just uncomfortable with Astra’s advances.

“Y-yeah ... o-okay,” stammered Astra. Those words had stung; she couldn’t deny it. She crossed her arms and decided to stare out the window again. A few tears fell down her cheek while Alex wasn’t looking, which Astra quickly wiped away as she silently cursed herself for letting her guard down. She did not intend to make that mistake ever again.

* * *

Lucy came home feeling somehow more dead inside than when she’d left. It was exhausting to pretend like she was fine. Lying constantly, especially out of fear, was never particularly fun. But she didn’t know if she’d ever felt this bad before. She didn’t know what to do.

“I made dinner!” announced Alura. She was standing in Lucy’s kitchen with a very large lasagne that Lucy imagined might even be enough to feed one Alura. Although, clearly Alura was willing to share. That was an attribute she did not pass on to her daughter, Lucy thought smiling, as she remembered all the times Kara had eaten a significant amount of her food at game night, and never shared any of hers.

“Thanks.” It was a relief not to worry about making anything. Alura looked pleased as she handed Lucy a plate with a rather big slice of lasagne on it. Lucy was about to mention that portion might be a little too much for a human, but then she remembered she hadn’t eaten a lot today, so she took it without comment and started eating. “Wow, this is good,” admitted Lucy after a bite. She was impressed. She wasn’t expecting much from someone who had just learned what an oven was.

“I practised,” declared Alura proudly. She had spent the day trying different things and eating the results. She had discovered Google, and she had made full use of its’ ability to find recipes. “How was your day?” asked Alura. Lucy couldn’t help but smile at that moment. This all felt so domestic. It was nice.

“It was ... okay,” answered Lucy slowly. Alura knew she couldn’t really say anything about her job. It was all classified. Still, she didn’t seem particularly okay, and Alura was pretty sure it didn’t have anything to do with classified material.

“Were people ... bad? Because of the election?” asked Alura. She wanted Lucy to know she could talk to her. Lucy didn’t really seem to have anybody else, and Alura was more than willing to be there for her.

“I ... I don’t know. Somebody told me I’d be taken back to Mexico any day now. I’m an American citizen. I’ve never been to Mexico,” clarified Lucy. She was vaguely amused by it all. It was kind of funny, given how stupid these lines were.

“You know that … I was looking at – what is it? - Google and it turns out you do accidentally deport your own citizens sometimes.” She didn’t want Lucy’s obvious trust in her government to blind her to what they were capable of. 

“They can’t do that. That’s not legal. I’m a lawyer, I know,” countered Lucy sharply. Growing up, her dad had never shut up about how great American freedom was. She knew some of it was exaggerated, but she was very familiar with the law. American citizens had a constitutional right not to be deported.

“I never said it was legal. I said it happens.” Lucy certainly hadn’t been taught that at school. Or at home. “Look, I obviously hope you’ll be okay. But I think ... maybe you should prepare,” suggested Alura slowly. She didn’t want anything to happen to Lucy.

“What, like learn Spanish?” joked Lucy dryly. She had taken it at school but honestly she could barely say ‘hola’. Her father hadn’t wanted her to get confused, so she had only been allowed to speak English, despite her mother speaking fluent Spanish. Well, that’s what he’d said anyway. Now she wondered if it really had anything to do with her being confused, or if it was really about never learning anything ‘un-American’. She suddenly felt like she’d had a part of her identity denied by a man who just didn’t want her to know anything that was different to what he knew.

“I don’t know, Lucy. I’m kind of new here. But I have seen this kind of thing before. Maybe you’ll be fine, maybe you won’t be. It doesn’t hurt to have a plan. I saw on the television people are protesting the new president. I also understand he controls the two groups that pass the laws, as well as the police and the military. If your people’s plan is to march on the streets, you need a better plan. He controls everything. He doesn’t care if you walk outside or not. So ... just have a plan, okay? If this all goes wrong, when this all goes wrong, you need a plan,” elaborated Alura. She couldn’t share Lucy’s optimism. She’d been here almost a year. She’d spent most of that time being tortured by humans, none of which would be charged for murder because they’d only killed aliens, and they didn’t have any rights under the law. And now she was watching the rise of a leader who had convinced people they could scapegoat all their problems using minorities and foreign countries, and she had seen where that went too many times to think this was going to turn out okay.

“And what about you, huh? What’s your plan?” asked Lucy. She didn’t know what the hell she’ do if she needed to leave this country, so she decided to deflect.

“Lucy, I don’t get to have a plan. I have no money. I cannot leave. And nobody is really accepting immigrants, especially undocumented ones. But you ... you’re a lawyer. You should have options,” stated Alura calmly. She wasn’t optimistic about much, but she liked to think there was a way Lucy could be safe despite all of this.

“I’m not going to leave you!” yelled Lucy angrily. She was offended at the idea that she would ever leave anyone behind. That’s not what they taught her in the Army, and it’s not what she believed now.

“Don’t be foolish. Sometimes you can’t save anybody else, you just have to save yourself,” chided Alura. She didn’t need Lucy getting herself in trouble over silly ideas of heroism. She’d seen her sister take a similar path, and she didn’t want anybody else she cared about to do anything like that.

“No. Absolutely not. I won’t leave you,” declared Lucy defiantly. She didn’t know what Alura’s problem was. She’d find a way to save both of them, if it came to that.

“You barely know me,” pointed out Alura. She wasn’t entirely sure why Lucy would risk so much for her.

“That’s not the point! I’m not leaving you to some Neo-Nazi regime while I run away to safety!” She still found it hard to accept the country she loved was being led by a Neo-Nazi, who was democratically elected. But what else could she call somebody who talked about banning a religious group from entering the country, thought that spending billions building a wall was worthwhile to stop a particular racial group from entering the country, and was actually endorsed by the KKK. And just because they’d decided to call themselves the ‘alt-right’, didn’t actually mean they weren’t still just Neo-Nazis. 

“You are very noble, Lucy. But sometimes realism supersedes ideology.” She found Lucy’s protective streak very endearing, but she knew when people feared for their life, principles had a way of disappearing. That wasn’t really a criticism; she understood people had to make sacrifices to survive. And she definitely wanted Lucy to survive.

“Listen, Alura. I promised to look after you, and I will. No matter what,” declared Lucy firmly. She couldn’t help the soulful way she gazed into Alura’s eyes as she swore to protect her. She couldn’t stomach the idea of anything happening to the woman in front of her. She’d been through so much; she deserved to be safe now.

“You seem ... very attached to me,” started Alura quietly. She wasn’t sure if she was reading this right, but she decided after everything now was as good a time as any to find out.

“Well ... you’re ... you know,” mumbled Lucy. She always seemed to lose her ability to talk properly around this woman. It was getting really annoying. She felt her heart beat faster as she wondered if Alura had realised her feelings for her. She didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, so she really hoped she hadn’t.

“Well ... I ... I mean I like you ... and so ...” mumbled Alura, staring resolutely at the floor. it had been a long time since she’d had to declare her feelings for anybody. She didn’t even know if she was doing it right – in this language or in this culture.

“You like me?” asked Lucy hopefully. She couldn’t help but worry she’d misheard somehow, and Alura had actually said she hated her or something.

“Yeah. But if you don’t like me ...” started Alura.

“Oh, I like you a lot,” interrupted Lucy enthusiastically. She moved towards Alura slowly, giving her time to pull away. But Alura quickly closed the distance and pressed her lips against Lucy’s firmly, and then pulled back.

“Okay?” asked Alura softly. She still wasn’t sure how this was supposed to go here, and she truly hoped she hadn’t made Lucy uncomfortable. She had watched a few TV shows and found that this seemed to be a common way to express affection here, and she couldn’t help but imagine kissing Lucy every time she saw two characters kiss. 

“Very okay,” confirmed Lucy. Alura smiled and used her thumb to stroke Lucy’s cheek gently while she leaned in to kiss her again.

* * *

Astra and Alex were eating in silence. Alex missed talking to Astra, but she didn’t know what to say. Maybe there was nothing to say. Maybe it would be better if they ... drifted apart, or something. They were different people, anyway. She decided it was probably inevitable.

Astra went to her room after she’d finished cleaning up. She shut the door with a thud and jumped a little, still surprised by her own strength sometimes. Alex ignored the sound, and sat down to watch TV. After a few minutes, she couldn’t help but miss Astra sitting beside her. But she couldn’t do that again. It would be weird. They wanted different things. Didn’t they?

* * *

“Okay, wait, we should talk,” said Alura eventually, pulling herself away from Lucy’s mouth reluctantly. They had been making out for what seemed like forever, and Alura had been trying to talk herself into actually stopping and having this conversation for a while. Lucy’s tongue had made a very convincing counter-argument.

“Okay,” replied Lucy quickly, smiling and pulling back. She took Alura’s hand in her own, which Alura squeezed gently. Lucy still couldn’t believe this was happening. She hadn’t thought there was even the slightest chance Alura liked her back, but here she was, holding her hand. Lucy had to squeeze it a little more just to convince herself that this was all real.

“So ... I am not familiar with the courtship rituals here, but I think now would be a good time to explain them to me.” She couldn’t help but smile as she looked at the woman she’d been kissing as she felt butterflies she’d never known could exist. She’d never really done this before. On Krypton, marriage was more of a friendship than anything else. That had never bothered her, but now she had a comparison point she knew she would definitely rather do this instead.

“Courtship? Oh ... you mean dating? Well, people usually eat dinner together. And then ... well, sometimes they take them home. And then they ... well, maybe call the other person and arrange another date. And eventually, after a few years, if it seems to still be working, you get married,” explained Lucy. It was always strange to explain your own culture to somebody. Things you always took for granted were suddenly put into words and you couldn’t help but suddenly question if what you did made any sense. For example, Lucy was now wondering why dinner had to be involved at all. Why not just eat ice cream? She loved ice cream. She should’ve told Alura people had to eat ice cream.

“I ... you ... what? Are you telling me you people just ... have these dates with each other? You just eat dinner and then sleep with each other? And then maybe call the person to do it again?” asked Alura incredulously. She was vaguely horrified at the casualness of it all. She had had a very profound relationship with Zor which had meant a great deal to her. They had known each other very well, and they may not have spent time making out or holding hands, but they had always cared about each other.

“Um ... well, you talk over dinner,” clarified Lucy. Alura looked even more horrified at that statement. She may like kissing, but she would much rather have what she had with Zor, over someone she just kissed. And had one whole conversation over dinner with, apparently.

“I ... I don’t know if I can do that,” admitted Alura, taking her hand from Lucy’s. Lucy missed the contact, but she kept her hands to herself. 

“What happened on Krypton?” asked Lucy. This was the first time Lucy had ever asked that question. Usually Alura volunteered that information quite freely – even when it wasn’t really relevant. But now she felt a real need to understand where Alura was coming from.

“Well ... people made arrangements for their children. It was a complicated union. People were obviously matched for financial gain, but compatibility was a factor too. I had a friend who matched their son with another boy because they both liked the same band. From all accounts, they were very happy together. Matches were usually very happy together, actually. I was very happy with my husband. He wanted more from me than dinner and my body,” commented Alura pointedly.

“Whoa, whoa, I don’t think you’re understanding. I want more than that too. I want to get to know you. And I want you to get to know me. I want a relationship, like you had with him,” clarified Lucy. She was pretty sure this was just a cultural misunderstanding and they actually wanted the same thing.

“Just like with him? So you won’t go on these ‘dates’ with anybody else?” asked Alura. She wanted to know what she was getting into. She wasn’t going to do something that would feel good now but would break her heart later.

“Correct,” responded Lucy. She had always been exclusive with whoever she was dating. She didn’t open up to many people; so when she did, it had always been just one person at a time.

“And you want to talk to me throughout the day? Not just at dinner?” queried Alura. This human courtship system was really rather strange. 

“Correct,” answered Lucy with a chuckle. Alura’s way of seeing to world really was pretty funny.

“And will you tell people of our relationship?” asked Alura. She didn’t want to be a secret mistress. She had seen enough of them on Krypton, and they were very rarely happy people. Sure, relationships on Krypton were assumed to be a certain way, but people were inevitably different and some people wanted more, so they tended to find it elsewhere. Although obviously they had to keep it all a secret which led to a lot of drama and pain.

“If you want. If not, that’s fine too.” She didn’t mind who knew. As far as she was concerned, their relationship was valid whether or not people knew about it.

“I want,” replied Alura sharply. She didn’t understand why anybody would hide the relationship they were in. She certainly wanted to tell anybody who looked at Lucy that she was very much taken.

“Okay, then, yes,” answered Lucy. 

“And what do I call you, exactly? You are not my wife.” It was odd to think of being with someone she wasn’t married to, but then again, everything on this planet was weird, so she was trying to stay open-minded.

“I would be your girlfriend. And you would be my girlfriend,” explained Lucy. She definitely liked the idea of Alura being her girlfriend. Alura didn’t seem quite as thrilled by the word, but she seemed to ponder it.

Alura considered everything for a moment. It didn’t seem that different from what she knew. Although there was only one way to find out. She did like Lucy very much, and she would hate to throw her chance to be with her away just because she was used to a different word. “Okay then, girlfriend,” said Alura. Lucy smiled brightly but also couldn’t contain her laugh for a few seconds.

“Okay, Alura, I’ll be girlfriend, but you can’t use ‘girlfriend’ as a nickname. It doesn’t work like that,” explained Lucy, reaching out for Alura’s hand again. Alura took it this time and stroked her fingers gently with her thumb. She smiled as she realised just how much she liked physical contact with her ... girlfriend.

“Then what can I call you?” asked Alura tiredly. She was getting really tired of the English language. It really just seemed like it was out to get her at this point. When Astra had taught her English when they were in the cell together so she could understand what her human captors were saying, she had left out some of the more painful aspects. Like irregular past participles. Why did people need to say ‘broke’? Why couldn’t they say ‘breaked’? It didn’t even make sense.

“Well, there’s a lot of words. Baby, honey, sweetie ...” started Lucy.

“Okay, well, you pick one that you like and I’ll use that,” interrupted Alura. She knew different words had different connotations, and she didn’t need to accidentally offend her new girlfriend because she didn’t fully grasp the language yet.

“Wow, um ... I don’t know. Baby, I guess,” answered Lucy. She was vaguely surprised by the question, and honestly she just picked it because it was the first word she thought of.

“Okay baby,” corrected Alura, who was relieved that conversation was over, as she reattached her mouth to her girlfriend’s. Lucy was glad too as she quickly reciprocated the kiss and wrapped her arms around her to pull her closer. Alura let herself be pulled towards her girlfriend and forget all about dinner.

* * *

Alex couldn’t help but feel terrified as she watched the news. Donald had appointed an ‘alt-right’ chief strategist? She wondered when people had stopped acting like this wasn’t a disaster; before his election most people had been able to see that this stuff was awful, but suddenly people were casually debating whether or not his policies made sense. She wondered if this was the new normal. 

She was starting to think people were just going to slowly get desensitised to white supremacists and soon enough people would be telling her that ‘it was just an opinion’, or even worse, ‘you have to respect your President’. As if whether racism was acceptable or not was ever something that should be debated. As if whether or not discrimination based on religion should ever be considered. As if a man’s whose entire platform consists of blaming everything on various minority groups and foreign countries should ever be considered normal.

She listened to footage of Trump saying that he was just going to deport the criminal aliens. So that was going to be his justification, she thought. She could already imagine police targeting anybody who fit a certain profile and using it to justify even more targeting. And of course people who weren’t targeted would just think ‘wow they really are criminals’. 

She couldn’t help but wonder if they were going to take Astra away from her. By deportation, or incarceration, or worse. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to waste another moment with Astra either. She was done being scared about her sexuality. She didn’t have time to be any more.

She turned the TV off and knocked on her bedroom door. “Astra. It’s me,” announced Alex loudly. Her heart was beating out of her chest but she was done listening to that fear. She was ready.

“Go away!” yelled Astra loudly. She was still incredibly hurt. She didn’t want to see Alex for a while.

“But I like you!” yelled Alex. A few seconds later, the door opened. Astra looked at her with a confused expression.

“That’s not what you said before,” said Astra slowly. She wasn’t sure what to make of this.

“I’m sorry. I was scared. But now ... now I ...” started Alex. She didn’t really know what to say though, so she gently grabbed Astra’s face and kissed her in a way which she hoped conveyed how she felt. It seemed to, because Astra immediately kissed her back and pulled her closer with a hand on her waist.

“Ugh, wait,” said Astra after a minute, pulling back from Alex.

“Something wrong?” asked Alex, instantly panicking. Had she done this wrong already? Because God, this was the first time anything had felt right for her.

“No, not exactly. It’s ... this is very new for you. And you seemed confused about your feelings ...” started Astra. She didn’t want Alex to do anything she didn’t want to do.

“I’m not confused about my feelings for you. I like you. A lot,” interrupted Alex. It was true. She wasn’t confused about how she felt for Astra. She’d tried to think she was still heterosexual by calling it a ‘girl crush’, but she’d always known deep down having a crush on a girl meant she wasn’t straight.

“Okay, you know you like me. But that doesn’t change the fact that this is all very new for you. And I don’t think you really know what you want.” She was trying very hard to be responsible and respectful, despite her hormones telling her to shut up and kiss her.

“I want you,” interrupted Alex. She did want her. She’d never wanted anyone before. She’d thought she had, but clearly she hadn’t because she’d never felt like this before. It was … exciting. She’d never been excited about men before, she realised. But her heart raced at the thought of Astra kissing her again.

“Sweetheart, can you please let me finish?” asked Astra softly. Alex breathed out heavily but put her hands up for a second in surrender. “Thank you. You are just starting to acknowledge your attraction to women. Which is good. But it means you don’t know ... even what your type is. You don’t know what to expect from a real relationship either, which means I have all the power. I’m pretty sure I could get you to go along with whatever I wanted, because you’d either just think it was normal, or you’d think since I’m the only person you know you like, you have to do whatever makes me happy, or maybe you’ll never find anybody else. And I would never intentionally take advantage of you, but I’m not a mind reader. I can’t know if you don’t like something and you’re just not telling me,” explained Astra. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, let alone someone she cared for. She wanted to make sure Alex didn’t do anything she’d regret.

“So I’ll tell you, okay?” interrupted Alex. She didn’t like where this was going. Her heart was still pumping furiously, but it wasn’t from excitement any more. Now she was just scared.

“You don’t know though! That’s half the problem. It’s all new for you. You don’t have anything to compare it to. I don’t know if you can tell apart not wanting to do something and just being nervous. You said it yourself, the only thing you’re sure of is you like me. But the thing is, although it’s great that you’ve stopped denying how you feel, your hormones aren’t always the most reliable way to make a decision. I know right now your hormones are telling you how amazing I am, but that doesn’t mean I actually am. It doesn’t mean you should actually have a relationship with me either. But it’s all so new for you and I worry you can’t see past your hormones to look at things reasonably,” elaborated Astra. She didn’t want to take advantage of anyone. And while Alex may deny it, she was in a vulnerable place right now. She needed time to figure out what she wanted, without someone else influencing her. 

“So what? You don’t want me?” asked Alex, her voice already breaking. She hadn’t expected this at all. She had been so sure Astra wanted her too. Astra immediately softened when she saw how upset Alex was getting. She moved the hand on her waist to rub her back soothingly and felt Alex relax a little.

“That’s not at all what I’m saying, sweetheart. It’s ... we just need to take this very, very slowly. Intimacy can be a very good experience, but it can also be a horrific one. And I certainly don’t want to be the latter for you. I want you to be actually ready, not just willing to do something because you think you should be, or because other people have told you you’ll like it, or because you just want to make me happy,” clarified Astra. Alex felt encouraged by Astra’s words and the hint of physical affection, but she wasn’t sure she really understood.

“What does that mean, exactly?” asked Alex. She’d only really had sexual relationships – and they were incredibly short-lived. She didn’t know what a relationship looked like without that.

“It means I think we should go watch movies on the couch. And maybe I could put my arm around you?” suggested Astra softly. She had some movies she really wanted to show Alex. She was thinking of starting with ‘But I’m a Cheerleader’. It was pretty funny, it dealt with accepting your sexuality, and it ended happily. She thought it was the perfect movie for Alex right now.

“You don’t even want to kiss me?” asked Alex incredulously. She couldn’t help but feel somewhat offended. She felt like if Astra didn’t want her physically then she must not like her at all.

“You know that’s not true. But I want you to be okay. And unless your desire to be with me is dependent on physical affection right away ...” started Astra.

“No, no, of course not. I’m sorry. I ... I guess I’m just surprised. You didn’t seem like you’d want to take it slow, that’s all.” Although this entire day was not what she was expecting, nor was this week, so she wasn’t sure why she was surprised now.

“And what is somebody who seems like they’d want to take it slow, exactly?” asked Astra curiously. She also wanted to understand all the silly ideas Alex had been given about relationships so she could explain why they were wrong.

“Um ... I don’t know. I guess ... I don’t really know anything about dating, really. I went out with guys, but I never felt anything. There was never even a guy I ever wanted so much as a second date with. But I mean ... I slept with them. All of them, actually. I thought maybe if I kept going I’d like it ... but I never did. I’ve never met anybody who wanted to take it slow,” admitted Alex. Astra was vaguely horrified Alex had let people touch her when it didn’t feel good. It only reaffirmed her position that they needed to take things slow. She was furious at the thought of Alex having that awful experience, but she realised Alex didn’t need to see her angry right now. She was still scared by all this. So she buried thoughts of incinerating every man who’d ever touched Alex with a deep breath.

“Well, now you have. So ... couch?” prompted Astra softly. Alex smiled and led Astra to the couch. Astra pulled Alex’s laptop onto her lap (Alex had given her her login when she moved in) and pulled up Netflix. She went to the ‘LGBT’ section and found the movie she wanted. She clicked play and put her arm around Alex’s shoulders. Alex smiled as she felt her heart rate increase because of something other than fear. She didn’t really know how to describe it but it felt ... nice. And warm. She leaned into Astra and she couldn’t help but feel giddy. She’d never wanted to touch somebody like this. She’d never known it was supposed to feel this way.

“Wait ... is this about being gay?” asked Alex as she heard the line ‘I’m a homosexual’. She couldn’t help but panic a little. What if she didn’t like this? What if she’d made everything up in her head and she was really straight? And what if she did like this? Then she’d really be gay, and there was no way to go back from that. Neither of those options really appealed.

“Well, I’m glad you picked up on that,” said Astra with a chuckle. Alex tried to force herself to breathe. She knew she was being silly. If she liked it, she liked it. It was who she was, and she couldn’t change it. She didn’t want to repress things any more. She wanted to be herself, even if it felt a little terrifying right now. 

“I ... I didn’t even know they made movies ... about that.” Astra pulled her a little closer and started playing with Alex’s hair. Alex smiled as she realised how nice this all felt. Maybe this wasn’t as scary as she’d pictured. Because this wasn’t scary at all. This was very nice, and she was starting to think she’d been missing out on a lot of good experiences out of fear.

“Well, they do. Not a lot. And not very many of those are good, but ... it’s something, I guess.” Astra couldn’t help but be rather disappointed in Earth’s media representation. Krypton had done a far better job. Still, she supposed Alex wouldn’t miss what she never had, and this was a vast improvement on nothing, so she was sure she’d like it.

When they got to the end of movie Alex looked somewhat confused. “You okay?” asked Astra.

“I just ... so this is what it’s like to care, huh? I always thought I was ... but I’m just ... huh,” rambled Alex. She didn’t really know how to describe it. After years of not understanding why anybody would care about ‘Team Edward’ or ‘Team Jacob’, she finally knew what it was like to be excited when two characters kissed. She’d made up reasons as to why she hadn’t cared, but now she realised that obviously anybody who was heterosexual would have a more enthusiastic reaction to heterosexual make outs.

“Tired?” asked Astra. It was getting late, and it had been an emotionally draining few days.

“No! You can stay a little longer,” responded Alex eagerly. She wondered when she’d gotten so clingy. Then she realised she’d never been clingy with boys because they were boys. She didn’t care about them, so of course she wasn’t clingy. But she really liked Astra. She didn’t want her to go. She finally understood why people did so many things now. Honestly, she felt like she should apologise to all her female friends very soon. She’d thought they were being silly but in reality she just hadn’t understood what romantic feelings were and why people held onto them so much.

“You know, since there’s only one bed, we could sleep ... beside each other. Only if you want. But I don’t know how comfortable this couch is,” said Astra sympathetically. She didn’t want her girlfriend sleeping on a couch. She wanted her in a warm, comfortable bed. Were they girlfriends though? That was a problem for another day, she decided.

“I want,” choked out Alex. Her throat was suddenly dry at the thought of sharing a bed with Astra. In truth, the couch wasn’t so bad. But she wanted to be closer to Astra.

“Okay,” agreed Astra softly as she guided Alex to the bedroom. She handed Alex one of the shirts she’d seen her wear to bed with some sweatpants and turned around as she changed into her own pyjamas. “Okay?” asked Astra before she turned around to look at Alex.

“Yeah,” replied Alex, who had not turned around at all, which Astra saw when she turned around. Astra couldn’t help but smirk at Alex’s very dilated pupils. She gently grabbed Alex’s hand and led her to the bed, since Alex hadn’t seemed to be moving, and then crawled under the sheets as Alex followed suit. Astra tried to lie at the furthest edge she could so Alex didn’t have to touch her if she didn’t want, but Alex crawled right beside her and got as close as possible.

“Can I hold you?” asked Astra softly. She had the feeling that’s what Alex wanted, but she had to make sure.

“Yes,” replied Alex quickly. She hated how needy she was coming off, but she didn’t know how to stop. But then again maybe it really wasn’t so bad, she thought, as Astra’s arm draped over her and pulled her close after she turned the light off.

Astra hadn’t been this close to anyone for a long time. She was usually very reluctant to let people in, but given how vulnerable Alex was, she found it surprisingly easy with her. Astra closed her eyes and quickly found herself drifting off.

Alex still couldn’t quite believe this was happening. Her heart was still pounding and she had no idea how she was supposed to sleep. How did people sleep next to people they had feelings for? When she’d been in this situation she’d just closed her eyes and prayed to God they’d be gone when she got up. But now everything was different.

Alex forced herself to take a deep breath and close her eyes. People did this all the time, she reminded herself. If she lay here long enough, eventually she was bound to fall asleep, she decided. And even if she didn’t, she wasn’t sure she minded. Feeling Astra close to her was nice.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay don't worry this chapter is a lot happier than the last one.

“Great news! You got into MIT,” announced Lucy excitedly. Alura had no idea what that meant, but she could tell by Lucy’s tone that she was supposed to be thrilled. She wasn’t entirely sure why her girlfriend had started spelling things at her though, and she had no idea what ‘mit’ was. 

“Yay?” offered Alura half-heartedly. Lucy just smiled at her girlfriend. Of course she didn’t know MIT was the best university in the country. She didn’t know any universities in this country.

“It’s a very good university. The best, actually,” explained Lucy. 

“Oh, well, good then,” responded Alura happily. Lucy got the feeling Alura didn’t quite understand how many millions of people would kill for the chance to go to MIT, but she decided she probably couldn’t get her to understand anyway, so she dropped it.

“You don’t start until February, but I figure that’s good because it gives you some time to figure everything out. Also, I had to blackmail like half the staff to get you in there, so if they give you any dirty looks, just know it’s me they hate, not you.” Alura couldn’t help but smile at that. She appreciated the lengths that Lucy was willing to go for her. Not so long ago, she would’ve abhorred the idea. But after she’d followed her own rigid ideas of right and wrong and ended up killing billions of people, she didn’t feel like she could be much of a moral arbiter any more.

“So I guess I’m free to do nothing but spend time with you until February then,” mused Alura nonchalantly, although she couldn’t stop grinning. She liked the idea of spending time with her girlfriend. She’d never spent that much time with Zor. They would talk a little when they got home, but mostly they either spent time with Kara or they did their own thing. 

“I guess you are,” agreed Lucy happily. She was looking forward to getting to know her girlfriend better.

* * *

“So that was different,” said Astra as calmly as she could manage the second Alex got in the car.

“I … you know I didn’t mean it, right? I just ...” started Alex.

“Don’t want them to know you’re gay, yes, I’ve picked up on that,” interrupted Astra, trying very hard not to roll her eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” said Alex so softly it was almost a whisper. Astra sighed and lovingly brushed a strand of hair out of her girlfriend’s face, mostly as an excuse to rub her cheek reassuringly.

“I don’t want you to be sorry. I know that you’re scared of what other people are going to say, or do, if they know. I just want you to know that you don’t actually have to insult me every five minutes for people to believe you’re straight. I mean, I’ve seen women holding hands get called friends. I’ve seen women kissing be called friends. I don’t think people are as astute as you think they are,” commented Astra dryly. She still didn’t understand how people on this planet could miss such obvious signs of romantic affection. At least it somewhat explained Alex’s confusion. She had clearly been able to write off her feelings for women as platonic for a long time because she had seen a lot of other people do the same. 

“Yeah, I know. I panicked, okay? We’re just so close together all day and I just kept catching myself staring at you. And I didn’t want people to think … the truth. So I thought maybe I could convince them that I hated you,” explained Alex. She was now hyper-aware of every time her eyes wandered below Astra’s eyes, and she couldn’t help but feel a need to compensate for her obvious signs of affection.

“Except people didn’t notice you staring at me. They noticed you yelling at me that I was an idiot. They noticed when that random male agent gave you some papers and your hands brushed accidentally. Because honestly, most people seem to call a man and a woman barely looking at each other romantic, but two women who would die for each other are ‘a beautiful example of friendship’, or my personal favourite, ‘maternal’. So can you just stare at me all day tomorrow? Without the insults? Nobody will notice.” Astra was trying very hard not to be smug about Alex’s clear affection for her and not make a big deal out of the fact that her girlfriend couldn’t keep her eyes off of her. Once she was comfortable with herself though, Astra was definitely going to let that smugness show.

“Yes. Definitely,” promised Alex hastily. She was so relieved Astra was this forgiving. She had spent most of today convinced Astra would never talk to her again.

“Great. So have you seen DEBS?” asked Astra, eager to move on. She didn’t want Alex to feel bad; she wanted to help.

“Uh … no, don’t think so,” replied Alex. Kara had made her watch a lot of movies she only half-watched since she found them so boring. They were always about some girl who thought some boy was great … well, now that she was thinking about it, she realised why Kara liked those movies and she didn’t. It was a shame she hadn’t figured out her sexuality sooner though, because they both could’ve enjoyed movies about two girls together.

“Okay, we can watch it tonight then,” suggested Astra.

“It’s gay, isn’t it?” asked Alex with sudden clarity and panic. She realised that everything Astra had showed her thus far had had a certain theme, and that was a trend that would probably continue.

“Yes, sweetheart, of course it’s gay. Why would I show you a straight movie?” asked Astra rhetorically. She didn’t understand her girlfriend sometimes. 

“I don’t know. Just because I’m … doesn’t mean I can’t watch other things,” replied Alex uncomfortably. She didn’t want to change everything just because of her sexuality. She was more than what she was attracted to. 

“No, but why wouldn’t you want to see happy gay women when you’re clearly struggling with how you feel? And you’ve really missed out on seeing anything other than heterosexuality, so I think it’s time to compensate,” countered Astra. She didn’t mention that Alex probably didn’t actually want to see things that weren’t gay. Sure, she’d gotten used to watching other things, but once she really accepted herself, Astra was sure she’d much rather see something with her own sexuality in it.

“Yeah … I guess.” Alex was having a bit of trouble adjusting. It was terrifying to change. She’d had such a fixed idea of who she was for so long, and now she wasn’t sure about anything any more. 

“Did you like the last one?” asked Astra. She was fairly certain the answer was ‘yes’, but Alex’s reaction made her question that assumption.

“Yeah, I did. It was actually really funny, and I cared about the characters for a change. But … I guess I’m still scared. Scared that I’ll like it. I know it must sound stupid to you, because I know I like you but …. maybe it’s just you? Because if it’s just you, then I could still be straight. But if I like all these gay movies … then it’s not just you. It’s just me,” explained Alex. She was trying to process her feelings for the first time in her life, and honestly, she missed denial. It felt a lot less scary. Especially after a few beers. She was now realising that she might’ve been using alcohol as a way to shove her feelings down for a long time, but maybe she didn’t have to any more. Maybe she didn’t want to either. Being with Astra made her feel a lot better than whisky ever did.

“Okay, first of all, heterosexuality is exclusive attraction to another gender. So since you’re attracted to me, that can’t be true. Second of all, you haven’t been attracted to a man in thirty years; I think it’s safe to assume it’s not going to happen. Third of all, you really will feel better about this when you stop trying to talk yourself out of the reality and start accepting how you feel.” 

“But maybe I am attracted to men. I mean, I’ve been around men and I’ve thought some of them were okay,” argued Alex. Even though she’d told Astra she’d never liked a man before, she still wasn’t really sure. Maybe she was just confused. Maybe she was wrong about what attraction was supposed to be. After all, the stuff in movies wasn’t real; maybe she was expecting an unattainable fantasy.

“Sweetheart, not hating someone doesn’t mean you’re attracted to them. Platonic feelings and romantic feelings are different. Platonic feelings make you feel calm, and safe. Romantic feelings make you really happy and excited to be around someone. Sometimes they coincide, sometimes they don’t. But you’re not attracted to men because you like some of them as friends.” Astra didn’t really understand how someone could possibly be an adult and not know the difference between these basic feelings, but honestly she pitied the poor humans who had to work it out on their own. 

“I’ve been nervous around men before. Maybe that was excitement,” suggested Alex. Astra got the distinct impression it was fear, not excitement. 

“Well, when you’re around me, are you the same kind of nervous that you were with them?” asked Astra. She knew Alex needed to figure it out for herself. She could help her, but she couldn’t tell her her sexuality, no matter how much she wanted to. Alex had to accept that for herself.

“I don’t know. Maybe,” offered Alex hesitantly. She really wasn’t sure about how she felt. It did feel different with Astra, but maybe that was just because Astra was really nice and safe. Maybe she’d just been around a lot of awful men.

“Maybe not, then. Look, I know you want to believe something, but you’re ignoring a lot of common sense to do it. If you don’t know if something makes you happy, then it doesn’t. If you don’t know if you’re excited to be around someone, you’re not. Those feelings are pretty obvious. Well, unless their stigmatised so you’ve repressed them. But do you really think you’ve been repressing your heterosexuality? That you just need to think about it for a while and you’ll suddenly realise you’ve had feelings for boys all along? Because that makes no sense. Why would you repress the sexuality everyone assumes they have?” asked Astra, trying to guide Alex to the dead obvious conclusion she really thought she would’ve arrived at herself by now.

“Yeah, I know, okay? I know. It’s just hard to accept that this is my new normal, I guess,” said Alex in a defeated tone. She knew everything Astra was saying made sense, but her emotions weren’t that clear. 

“Well, maybe by the tenth movie you’ll see that it’s not so scary,” offered Astra hopefully. 

“Maybe,” said Alex, slightly less convincingly. She didn’t know if she could ever not be this confused, let alone not scared. It felt so much easier to try to shove it down and tell herself she was just confused. Except it wasn’t really, because she had never really been happy and now she knew why, and she wanted to be with Astra, and she wanted to tell people about it … but at the same time she didn’t. It was all just confusing.

* * *

Cat’s first priority had been getting Carter into school. Not that she didn’t love spending time with her son, but he needed an education. She was used to sending him to the most expensive private school money could buy, however those schools had very long waiting lists. And she had discovered, after numerous phone calls, she couldn’t buy them anything to bump Carter up that list far enough to get him in next week. So, after much prodding from Kara, she had agreed to send him to public school. She still refused to send him anywhere without a lengthy discussion with the Principle first though, which was why she was sitting beside Kara, staring at the woman sitting across from them.

“Excuse me? His grades are incredible,” seethed Cat, barely keeping herself together.

“Yes, and I’m sure the math, science and English will all carry over very well. But he doesn’t know anything about Canadian history, or geography, or the metric system, or French …” started the Principle defensively.

“Oh, come on. How hard can that be?” asked Cat dismissively.

“Okay, baby, how about you take a breath and I’ll talk for a bit?” suggested Kara. She didn’t need her girlfriend’s defensiveness to make a bad first impression.

“Fine,” conceded Cat with an eye-roll. She knew she was getting emotional, and that didn’t tend to lead to the best decisions, and Kara seemed far more in control right now.

“Listen, I realise he has a few gaps. But we can catch him up on that. He has very high grades in subjects I almost failed at school. He’s very bright, is what I’m trying to say. He doesn’t need to be kept down a grade,” implored Kara. She didn’t express it like her girlfriends did, but she didn’t want Carter to be kept down either.

“While I appreciate that you’re more reasonable than your wife ...” Cat almost choked on air at that assumption. Kara’s eyes just went wide for a few seconds.

“I’m not … I’m just her girlfriend,” interrupted Kara, with what Cat thought might be disappointment. Was Kara ready to marry her? Maybe she should bring it up. Maybe she should do it in a way that wasn’t too serious, so she could back-pedal if Kara wasn’t interested, but she wanted to test the waters. Soon. She’d never imagined she’d be able to trust anybody half as much as she trusted Kara, but she did. She was ready to commit to her – legally, financially, emotionally – whenever Kara was.

“Okay, well, you’re more reasonable than your girlfriend, but your faith in your son might be a little too high.” Kara didn’t bother to correct the ‘son’ thing; it was already confusing enough as it was. She found herself smiling at the fact that Cat didn’t correct her either. “I’m sure he’s very bright, but that doesn’t mean he can sit in a French class and pick it up in a week. And I assume you want his high grades to continue, which would be a lot harder if he has to learn new math and science, along with subjects he’s never studied before.” Kara thought for a few moments and sighed.

“Yeah, okay, you’re right. We just wanted this transition to be as smooth as possible for him, but I guess we have to accept that it’s going to be a significant adjustment. Baby?” asked Kara, eager to check with her girlfriend, since it was her son they were talking about. She appreciated that her girlfriend let her talk, but she would never want to make decisions about her son without getting her approval.

“Oh, I suppose,” sighed Cat. She didn’t like it, but she got the impression she wasn’t going to get what she wanted.

“Great. He can start tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much,” said Kara sincerely, standing up and shaking her hand. 

“Yeah,” said Cat, trying to force herself to sound sincere but not quite succeeding, as she quickly shook the Principle’s hand before leaving as quickly as possible with Kara half-running behind her.

* * *

“By the way, Vasquez is coming over tomorrow,” mentioned Lucy. They were on the couch watching the news, listening to the fact that Donald had used his political interview to talk about his daughter’s business. Because of course he had. Because the millions in tax breaks he was actually going to give himself and his family just wasn’t enough. Well, maybe that was unfair. He was never going to pay tax, Lucy reminded herself.

“Oh. Do you want me to leave?” asked Alura. She didn’t want to intrude on Lucy’s time with her friend.

“What? No! She’s coming over for you. She’s in IT. I work with her. I figured she could help you out.” Lucy had spent ten minutes into talking Vasquez to come over. She wasn’t a big fan of leaving her computer, or the house, but she’d eventually agreed in exchange for Lucy doing her paperwork for a week.

“Oh. Okay.” Alura still found it hard to admit she needed help. She had been used to being so independent, but now she didn’t understand anything. She appreciated that people were willing to give her assistance, but she was still a little frustrated that she needed it at all. 

“You know, I’m not too interested in the news,” started Lucy suggestively. She really didn’t need to hear about Donald’s conflicting business interests. Her girlfriend was far more interesting anyway.

“Yeah, me neither. What do you want to watch?” asked Alura. She still didn’t really care for human television, but she watched whatever her girlfriend did.

“You,” replied Lucy as she leaned in to kiss her. Alura turned the TV off quickly so she could direct all her attention to kissing her girlfriend and gently pulled her closer by her waist. Lucy quickly shuffled so she was straddling Alura’s lap and kissed her deeply. She closed her eyes as she pulled Alura closer to her and tried to remind herself that this was one thing the election couldn’t take away. People could hate them if they wanted to, but they weren’t going to stop being themselves. It wasn’t worth it. This, though – feeling Alura’s gentle brushes against her stomach – this was worth everything.

* * *

Alura and Lucy were making lunch when Vasquez showed up the next day. 

“Okay, so first things first. What laptop are you going to take?” asked Vasquez. She had a whole list prepared of things to get through, and she figured if she moved through them without unnecessary conversation she could make it for her World of Warcraft guild raid tonight. 

“What’s a laptop?” asked Alura. Vasquez couldn’t help it as her mouth hung open for a few seconds. How had this woman gotten into MIT? Then she remembered that Alura was an alien, and maybe it was just a language barrier.

“A portable computer,” replied Vasquez. She realised this all might take a bit longer than she’d thought.

“Do I have one of those?” Alura asked Lucy, who shook her head. Vasquez was equally horrified at that statement. She didn’t know how she’d live without her laptop.

“Okay, well, you need one. You know, to take to lectures. And everything else. Not too many people still use pen and paper to take notes, and in any computer-related field you’ll probably have to run programs on your computer during some classes,” explained Vasquez. She realised things might have been different on Krypton, so she should explain what happened here.

“I don’t have any money,” admitted Alura with a hint of shame. She knew it wasn’t her fault, but she still couldn’t help but feel bad for not being able to afford anything.

“But I do and I can buy you a laptop,” interjected Lucy quickly. She was just going to take it out of DEO funds anyway. It wasn’t like she ever had to explain her expenses anyway. When she was Acting Director, she’d bought twenty coffee machines just so people would have to walk less to get their cup of coffee. Nobody had pulled her up then, and she didn’t think they were going to pull her up now. 

“Okay then! So I guess it’s shopping time?” suggested Vasquez, very excited.

“Well, right now it’s eating time. But after lunch we can go,” said Lucy clearly. She didn’t want Alura to be hungry, and she knew from Kara how much a Kryptonian needed to eat. 

“Cool, okay. I’ll get on my phone and start looking at what’s available at the closest shop,” said Vasquez happily. She loved browsing for the latest technology.

* * *

“We need to talk,” Cat blurted out suddenly. She had been trying to work up the nerve for a while now, and she had finally managed to do it while Kara had just come back to their Netflix-in-bed marathon with a fresh container of ice cream. They both used different laptops with earphones so they could watch very different shows while Kara kept an arm around her girlfriend and pulled her close. “Wait, that came out wrong. I … I just want to ask you something. Hypothetically,” started Cat. Kara didn’t think she’d ever seen her girlfriend so nervous. It made her nervous.

“Baby, talk to me. Whatever it is, it’s okay. I love you,” reassured Kara, putting down her ice cream on the table so she could hold her girlfriend’s hand reassuringly. 

“It’s not … it’s … I just wanted to know how you’d feel about … um, commitment. To me,” said Cat, feeling her voice shake and being unable to control it. She didn’t think she’d be this nervous, but she was; she couldn’t even look at Kara any more, so she was pretending to be very interested in her knee. She realised she’d never been this attached to anyone she’d ever dated before. Or even anyone she’d married. She’d tried to convince herself she could be casual about this, but that plan had really only lasted about ten minutes.

“Baby, I am committed to you. Always,” promised Kara in a confused tone. Did Cat think she was being unfaithful? 

“Right, but … I mean … um … marriage,” said Cat eventually, looking up at her girlfriend tentatively.

“Baby, I know how hard it is for you to trust people. And I completely understand how someone with all your money would be hesitant about marriage. You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to do to keep me, okay? I’m more than happy with this,” said Kara earnestly. Cat honestly did make her so happy, just like this. She didn’t need a piece of paper to validate anything.

“Right, but … what if I wanted marriage? Now? With you?” asked Cat, her nerves fading as she just wanted to get Kara to understand what she was saying. 

“Well, of course I’d marry you if you wanted,” answered Kara carefully. This was starting to feel like a proposal, except Cat didn’t say ‘will you marry me’, nor was there a ring, so she was desperately trying to push her hopes down. 

“Okay, then,” started Cat, pulling a small box out of her jacket pocket (Kara had wondered why Cat had been wearing a jacket on this rather warm day) which she popped open to reveal a very nice diamond ring. “Will you marry me?” asked Cat shyly, vulnerability clear in her voice. 

“YES!” screamed Kara excitedly as she leaned in to kiss Cat, which her girlfriend, no, fiancée, eagerly reciprocated. Cat laughed, mostly out of relief, as she pulled away and put the ring on Kara’s finger. 

“Do you like it? The ring?” asked Cat hopefully, still unable to stop smiling at Kara’s response. She had texted one of the few people she trusted to get Kara an expensive ring that wasn’t too big and had him drop it off this morning while Kara was in the shower. She could never be casual with Kara, no matter how hard she’d tried to make it appear that way in the beginning, and she had had a good feeling she’d say yes.

“Baby, you know it’s all the same to me. I don’t care how many carats it is. I care that it’s from you, and we’re getting married … Rao, we’re getting married. Oh, you need a ring too. I should get you a ring,” rambled Kara excitedly.

“Darling, you don’t need to get me anything. I can take care of everything. I can get the world’s best designers to make us things for free just for the publicity. We could feature something about us in Cat Co. magazine too; that would ...” Cat stopped talking as she saw a hurt look in Kara’s eyes all of a sudden. “Darling, what’s wrong?” asked Cat softly. 

“Nothing. Sounds great,” said Kara semi-convincingly, staring down at the ring on her hand and playing with it. It really was a nice ring. She didn’t really understand why people spent thousands of dollars on these things though; it wasn’t like someone was going to change their answer to ‘will you marry me?’ based on how pretty the ring was.

“Darling, please talk to me. Tell me what I said that upset you,” pleaded Cat softly. Kara looked up at her fiancée, seeing nothing but love in her eyes, and she knew she could be honest about how she felt.

“I just … it’s a bit commercial, that’s all. I get that we’re kind of celebrities and we can get stuff for free and that’s cool … but it’s not about us, you know? I just … didn’t imagine our wedding being a commercial,” explained Kara tentatively. She didn’t want to offend Cat.

“Okay, what did you imagine?” asked Cat gently.

“Honestly? You, me … just signing the papers. I always thought the whole wedding thing was just a way to get people to spend money. Why do you need a super expensive cake? Or stupidly expensive clothes? I mean, I remember when the Supreme Court decision came through and I realised I could maybe get married. I wasn’t excited about the party, I was excited about finally getting the rights I honestly thought I’d never get. But baby, really, we can have the party. I don’t mind,” added Kara quickly, not wanting Cat to miss out on anything. 

“Oh God, I don’t want the party either. I just thought you’d want it. As someone who has had the party before, believe me, it is an absolutely absurd amount of money for a day that really isn’t even fun. It’s stressful, and full of people you don’t even like, and … how about tomorrow? Just you, me, Carter, and your family?” suggested Cat.

“Yes. I’d love that. I love you,” said Kara happily, leaning in to kiss her fiancée again.

* * *

Vasquez was in heaven. She loved walking through the technology section of a shop. It was so exciting. Of course, Lucy was already bored and Alura was confused by everything, so that was killing her enthusiasm a little. But only a little. This was still awesome.

“Okay, so these are the Chromebooks. Now, for uni you need something with decent battery life. These are by far the cheapest option. They only run Chrome OS though, but you can get it to run Linux with a bit of help from the internet. That can be an issue if you have to run specific programs that only work for Windows, or Mac, but there will probably be computers on campus that you could use to run them if you have to,” explained Vasquez. 

She had always used Windows computers to handle her high-performance gaming, but she got the impression Alura didn’t need that. In fact, she was sure she’d mostly only need word processing and internet access, which a Chromebook could provide.

She knew the whole 2-in-1 tablet thing was a popular option for the student market, but honestly, the hardware left a lot to be desired. They were very small, not very powerful, and yet often forced to run Windows just to give the processor a little more to do. Ultrabooks could be good, and she knew there were various models from Apple that were actually very good, especially for students, but they were also obnoxiously expensive and raised compatibility issues because most things ran Windows. But apart from that, Ultrabooks tended to be a bit bulky, were often lucky to last half the day on a full charge, and cost quite a bit of money. So, she’d decided to suggest the Chromebooks first.

“Okay, I didn’t even understand most of that, so she definitely didn’t,” said Lucy. She really wanted to buy the first thing she saw and leave, but she wanted to make sure they got something good so they didn’t have to come back. And she wanted Alura to get something she wanted.

“Um … this is very cheap. Good battery life. Not that bulky. Good value. Not a lot of storage, but not an issue for you. I recommend it,” said Vasquez simply. Lucy looked at Alura, who just shrugged.

“Okay then! Sounds good to me. I’ll take one,” declared Lucy. 

“Well, which one? There are a lot now. So this one has 4 GB of RAM, which is definitely good. But the processor isn’t too good so ...” started Vasquez.

“Listen, Vasquez. Please pick a computer. I will buy it. Neither of us understands any of this,” interrupted Lucy. 

“Okay, okay. Well, electrical engineering doesn’t require any heavy processing, and I get the feeling you aren’t into gaming, so this will be fine,” decided Vasquez, picking up the computer. “So does she have a phone?” 

“No. I guess she needs one,” sighed Lucy, wondering how much time they were going to spend in this damn store. 

“Yeah, obviously you’ll probably want to know if she’s coming home late or something. Also, universities send out emails when classes are cancelled and stuff, so it’s good to have a smart phone to get those alerts,” said Vasquez, mostly for Alura’s benefit. She wanted her to understand what was going on. 

They headed over to the phone section and followed Vasquez around as she looked over all the phones there. 

“She doesn’t need a lot of calls, if that makes a difference,” said Lucy after ten minutes of watching Vasquez drool over phones.

“Well, we’re not going to buy one of those plans. We’ll buy an outright phone. They’re always cheaper in the long run. And then we’ll buy her a plan. But this phone has 3 GB of RAM which ...” started Vasquez.

“Please, please, just pick one,” pleaded Lucy. She still had no idea what RAM was, and she was absolutely not asking. She did a law degree for a reason. 

“Okay, you can’t go too wrong with a flagship phone. And I’d go the HTC over the Samsung, so I guess we’ll get that one,” decided Vasquez. 

“Great!” said Lucy happily, ready to leave as Vasquez grabbed the HTC.

“Have you thought about a wearable?” asked Vasquez as Lucy groaned. 

“Why?” asked Lucy rhetorically.

“Well, it’s handy to get the notifications on your wrist. You really can’t miss them, and some messages are obviously very important. Also, a lot of them come with silent alarms, which can be really good if you two get up at different times and you don’t want to wake each other up. And personally, I find getting the vibration on the wrist to be far less annoying than waking up to beeping,” answered Vasquez. She mentioned the alarm thing because she knew they were living together, but she also got the impression they might be sleeping together, which meant that they would definitely be hearing each other’s alarms. And if Alura was anything like her, she would be taking the latest classes possible and be getting up a lot later than Lucy.

“Oh my God, fine, get her one, and since I’ve had to endure all of this, get me one too please,” said Lucy. She might not understand the specs, but she did like the idea of notifications on her wrist. If Alura was ever in trouble, she didn’t want to miss that text.

“Cool!” said Vasquez excitedly, going over to the wearable section, Lucy and Alura trailing behind.

“Okay, there aren’t even that many,” sighed Lucy after five minutes, her arms crossed.

“God, okay, calm down. Well, since Alura’s an alien and everything, all the calorie tracking is wrong anyway, so there’s not much value in anything geared for fitness. There’s the Samsung Gear watches which are pretty cool ...” started Vasquez.

“Cool, get two. Let’s go,” said Lucy eagerly. Vasquez sighed as she got two boxes and headed for the checkout.

* * *

Alex and Astra were currently watching I Can’t Think Straight. Astra had spent a good three hours this morning hooking up the computer to the TV so they could watch everything on the big screen. It seemed like they might be doing this for a while, so it seemed worth it. Also, it meant that Astra could hold her while she lay beside her on the couch, which was definitely worth it.

“Oh,” Alex breathed out as she watched them kiss for the first time. 

“You know it’s okay to like this, right?” asked Astra softly as she saw Alex swallow hard. 

“Yeah,” replied Alex unconvincingly. It was one thing to think something theoretically, but it was a little hard to believe it when she’d gotten thirty years of messaging that it was wrong. That she was wrong. 

“Because I like it. You don’t think I’m wrong, right?” asked Astra. 

“Oh, no! Never,” answered Alex quickly.

“So how about you just apply that logic to yourself?” suggested Astra. 

“You make everything sound very simple,” said Alex. She couldn’t help how she felt, even if she knew it was stupid.

“You make everything sound very complicated,” countered Astra lightly. She just couldn’t understand why Alex found this so difficult, especially as she pulled Alex a little closer to her and felt her relax even more in her hold.

Alex felt her phone vibrate and got it out of her pocket to check it. “Um … so Kara’s getting married tomorrow? And we’re both invited? And it’s in Canada?” said Alex with a substantial amount of confusion. 

“Can we go?” asked Astra, not knowing what else to say.

“Yeah, of course. You can fly me there, right?” asked Alex, still stunned.

“Of course,” replied Astra, who was also confused but got the impression Alex didn’t have any answers so she didn’t ask.

* * *

“Okay so I’ll set up the computer first. The Crouton download will take a while,” said Vasquez the second they got in the door. She immediately started ripping open the box and started setting up on the couch. 

“Like the bread?” asked Lucy, confused.

“Well, yes. But it’s also a way to install Linux on a machine with Chrome OS. Because all the Chrome OS lets you do is access the web, which can be a bit limiting,” explained Vasquez. 

“Cool,” said Lucy, still confused. She didn’t know what an OS was, and she was not asking about that either. 

Vasquez had given Alura the ‘short version’ (Lucy disagreed about it being short, but said nothing because her girlfriend seemed to be happy to listen) about how to choose a computer. There were two main things to look at: RAM and CPU. 2 GB of RAM was not great. 4 GB was good. 8 GB was great. CPU’s were a little more complicated. Intel i3 was okay. Intel i5 was good. Intel i7 was the best. The first number after it mattered a lot too – the higher the better. So something starting with i3-6 might be better than something starting with an i5-5, but i5-6 would always be better than i3-6.

There were also a lot of other CPU’s, so it turned out you should just look up the CPU in Google along with the word ‘benchmark’ and it will give you links to websites which rate CPU’s. Anything that wasn’t Intel i-something probably wasn’t that good, but if you weren’t doing gaming or anything that needed a lot of processing, it would be okay. However, it was always good to know which was the best of the options you were looking at, so looking up the benchmarks for the CPU’s of the computer’s you were thinking about and picking the highest number was a good way to go.

Then, since the Crouton download really was taking a while, Vasquez explained Linux. It was basically an alternative to Windows and the Mac OS (Alura didn’t know what that meant, but Vasquez decided it didn’t matter), much like Chrome OS was. Except Chrome OS was very limited and only really let you access the web, although given Google Docs and the rise of cloud storage, that did allow you to do quite a lot. However, Linux was something that had been around kind of forever, and was what almost everything was built off. Also, since the Chromebook they’d bought had 32 GB of storage, there was enough room to run Linux on it; she’d seen people do it with 16 GB, but it really didn’t leave a lot of room to download too much. 

That led to talking about Linux distros, which Lucy worked out were slightly different OS’s that work like Windows, except there are different applications, like how there are different applications on a Mac. But, since Linux has been around a while, there are quite a few applications available, and a lot were free. Also, Linux and it’s various distros are almost all free, and as Vasquez explained, there is nothing nerds like more than free software. Also, nerds love to customise stuff, but Windows and especially Mac don’t let you do that much. They also have a bad habit of putting a lot of stuff on your computer you can’t get rid of, even though basically nobody wants it. So, people found ways around that OS and made their own based off of Linux. 

It was possible to wipe your old OS and just use Linux, or to have both installed and choose which one to use every time you turned the computer on. Ubuntu was very popular and easy to use, and was also available as part of the Crouton download, so that’s what Alura was getting. Nerds also took particular offence to the Windows-dominated market, given that literally everybody except Apple really only made computers with Windows installed, and Windows really wasn’t very good, which added insult to injury. They also wanted to charge you quite a bit of money for their programs, when their were often free Linux programs that did the same thing – and often you could find them pretty easily by searching for ‘Linux alternatives to’ and the program you wanted. And if worst came to worst and you really needed to run a Windows program, you could just install WINE for free and use that to run Windows programs in Linux. Sure, it wasn’t good for heavy gaming, but she got the feeling Alura wouldn’t know any of the major games if she fell over them, so it didn’t really matter.

Alura asked how Vasquez learned all this, and Vasquez just laughed and told her it was all just with online tutorials. People might really suck sometimes, but a whole lot of people also just want to help, and if you Google your computer name with ‘install Ubuntu’ you will probably find step-by-step instructions for your machine. You can also look it up on YouTube so you can see exactly what it will look like (Lucy just stifled a laugh at that; she would never attempt this without Vasquez, despite her confidence that it really wasn’t that complicated). Or, of course, if you’re using a Chromebook you can just Google ‘Crouton Chromebook instructions’ and follow those, which Vasquez had had open on her phone this whole time. 

People were often hesitant about Linux (well, that’s what Vasquez said; Alura didn’t understand anything on this planet so she was rather hesitant about everything), thinking that they’d need to be some kind of technical genius to use it and write code on the command line. But although there were some distros that were less user-friendly, there were quite a lot of easy-to-use distros for people who were just looking for something to work without too much hassle like Ubuntu or Linux Mint. Vasquez mentioned that if she ever wanted to see what other distros looked like, she could go to YouTube and type in the name of any popular distro along with ‘Linux scoop’ and click on the first result to see the latest version of the desktop. All you really needed to get set up was internet access to view the tutorials, and a USB big enough to store the .iso file of your chosen distro so you could put it into your computer and then install it on your computer.

She’d thought about getting her own computer out and using Virtual Box to run a few distros and see what Alura liked, but it had become very clear to her after three seconds of meeting her that Ubuntu was the right call. Sure, at some point down the line she’d probably download a few more customisable distros and run them on Virtual Box (since it was really easy to set up – just download Virtual Box and the .iso file of as many distros as you want – and it changed absolutely nothing on your computer unless you clicked on ‘install’) so Alura could see what they’d be like, but not today. God, not today. Especially given Lucy’s exasperation every time someone said the word ‘Linux’.

Vasquez had also set up the phone (they had gotten a SIM card with a good plan on the way home so Alura could actually make calls) while she had been waiting for the download to finish. Once she typed in a few commands that she copied from the instructions on her phone, Lucy stared in wonder at the new desktop. This might be a bit too technical for her, but she did admit that this was pretty cool. It was like … hacking or something. Except it wasn’t really, it was just installing something not that many people decided to install. But it was kind of amazing to look at a desktop that hadn’t been there ten minutes before, which enabled the computer to do a whole lot of things it hadn’t been able to do previously.

“Would you like dinner, Vasquez?” asked Lucy in a concerned tone as she looked at the time. She didn’t want the poor woman to starve setting up their technology.

“Well, if you’re offering,” started Vasquez hopefully. She didn’t want to impose, but she was getting pretty hungry. She was also well aware that she was not going to make that guild raid. 

“I am. You like spring rolls?” asked Lucy.

“Yes,” answered Vasquez eagerly. She’d kind of eat anything right now, but that did sound good.

“Alura, step away from the hardware and superheat these for me please,” said Lucy. Alura reluctantly left the technology behind and blasted the tray with her heat vision, then brought the tray to Vasquez, who started munching on them immediately. “Aren’t they hot?” asked Lucy, slightly panicked.

“Little. Good though,” said Vasquez between bites. Lucy rolled her eyes but said nothing as Alura started eating them too. Lucy realised she should grab a few for herself before they were all gone. 

Vasquez set her up a Dropbox account on her new computer, which let her store her files free in the cloud. She explained that university lecturers didn’t accept ‘my computer broke’ as an excuse, so you needed to have backups somewhere. Also, it made changing computers really easy because you could store everything remotely and just login to Dropbox on your new computer and everything was there. 

She also set up Google Drive because more free cloud space was always good. She showed her Google Docs because it was also able to save files as a Microsoft file or PDF, which she’d probably have to do for uni in order to submit them. She explained and bookmarked Wolfram Alpha – the free site that would solve your math problems for you and give you complete working. She also downloaded the Linux version of Notepad++ (Notepadqq), the somewhat basic and yet still widely used text editor to write programs in basically any language. Sure, there were a lot of more comprehensive editors, but it was always best to start simple and then go from there. 

Alura also got a Gmail account set up for her, because she was one of the few people on Earth without one of those. She also got a Facebook account, because that was usually how people in groups at university communicated, and she added herself and Lucy as friends. When she was done she put the laptop in the bag they’d picked up on the way home (Lucy had just sighed every time they had been finally driving home only to hear Vasquez say that they needed another thing, although she had conceded that Alura needed a bag to carry things). 

It fit easily, which was good, and it also had plenty of room left over for the battery pack and all the other bits and cables they’d picked up (Vasquez had mentioned that Lucy didn’t want Alura’s phone to die and not be able to call her, and so Lucy had reluctantly driven to yet another store at the thought of her girlfriend in distress). She’d also made sure to get some sunglasses and earphones, partly for the obvious reasons, and partly because it made annoying men somewhat less likely to talk to Alura. They’d also gotten a USB because very occasionally it was necessary, and it was better safe than sorry when your marks were on the line.

“You’re like … a tech wizard, you know that?” asked Lucy, clearly impressed.

“No, I just have a degree in computer science and I spend a bit of time reading computer magazines. You know I run the databases for the DEO, right? When all you agents at the DEO call me over because you can’t get a program to work, I’m guessing just as much as you are,” said Vasquez, wondering if anybody outside the technical department had any idea what she was actually qualified to fix.

“Yeah, but you get it to work when we don’t, so you’re still amazing,” countered Lucy.

“Right. You’re still doing that paperwork for a week,” said Vasquez flatly. She did not soften under flattery.

“Yeah, I know,” said Lucy, and she couldn’t even make herself sound disappointed. This day had been kind of fun in the end. It had seemed like a bit of a hassle at the start, but now it was actually kind of incredible. Who knew you could do things like this? She’d seen dumb things in movies where people typed on a keyboard with a tense expression and then magically made things happen, but it was a little mind blowing to see it really happen.

* * *

Cat had already gotten the marriage license yesterday, along with rings, so all they had to do was sign the papers. Even so, part of her was nervous that they’d tell her she wasn’t allowed to get married. She’d spent so long thinking there was no way she’d ever get to have this, she almost couldn’t believe it. 

Kara was so excited. She was also mildly terrified that it was all going to go wrong somehow, but she pushed that aside. She was getting married today to the woman she loved. It was all going to be amazing, she told herself.

When Cat, Kara and Carter arrived, everyone was already there waiting. Alex was holding Astra’s hand, which Kara had to admit was adorable, especially because they both looked like they were going to cry. Alura looked like she had been crying, but she was keeping it together now, although she still looked a bit fragile. 

“I am glad you found someone you truly love, Little One. But I want you to know, if that woman ever hurts you, I will break every law on this planet to make her regret that decision,” said Astra coldly as she stared into Cat’s eyes threateningly.

“Aunt Astra!” chided Kara. She felt Cat squeeze her hand a little harder; she was well aware of what Astra was capable of.

“Oh, me too,” added Alex, smiling while she stared down Cat.

“Alex!” whined Kara. Astra grinned at her girlfriend’s statement.

“Well, I don’t really understand why everybody is threatening Kara’s bride, but I wish you much happiness,” said Alura with a confused tone. Threats weren’t a part of ceremonies on Krypton.

“Thank you mum,” said Kara gratefully. Alura turned to Cat as Cat tensed, wondering what this family member would have to say to her.

“I’ve been told that your mother disowned you for being with my daughter. I know it’s not the same, but I want you to know I would be proud to call you my daughter,” declared Alura proudly. Cat blinked away a few tears as she moved to embrace Alura, who held her firmly. 

“Thanks,” whispered Cat, wanting to say more but at an uncharacteristic loss for words.

“It is okay,” said Alura softly. The human was soft in her hands and she made sure not to apply too much pressure. She didn’t know why anybody was bothering to threaten this poor woman; she could never hurt Kara. Cat, on the other hand, seemed like she had been hurt by the people she loved, and Alura wanted her to know that it was okay now.

“Okay then. Let’s do this,” said Cat after a minute, pulling away, eager to shove down her emotions in public. She grabbed Kara’s hand again as they walked into the room.

* * *

“So we’re married,” said Kara when they arrived home. Carter had stayed back with Alura, because he’d asked to be able to get to know his new grandmother. Alura had been thrilled at the idea, especially when she’d heard about how uninterested Cat’s mother had been in him.

“You’ve mentioned that. Quite a few times,” said Cat dryly. Kara had been saying that the entire car ride at random intervals, perpetually amazed.

“Are you really not affected by this or are you just pretending?” asked Kara knowingly. She was well aware of her wife’s tendency to hide her emotions.

“Okay, I’m a little excited,” admitted Cat as they moved to sit down on the couch. 

“A little?” asked Kara, putting her arm around her wife as she cuddled into her. She knew sometimes Cat just needed a little prodding to know that Kara actually did want her to admit her emotions.

“I still can’t believe you took my name,” said Cat instead of answering. 

“Of course I took your name. I mean, it’s Carter’s name, and I want people to know I’m related to him,” said Kara. She knew better than to push her wife about her emotions. If she didn’t want to tell her, that was okay. 

“We could have hyphenated,” pointed out Cat. She really hadn’t expected Kara’s choice, especially given everyone else she’d been with had always expected her to take their name.

“That feels like way too much paperwork. Look, everyone knows you as ‘Cat Grant’, and basically nobody has ever heard of ‘Kara Danvers’. It just seemed like the best option. Besides, I also like to think it’ll really annoy your mother when she reads that we share a last name in the papers,” added Kara happily.

“Now that is an excellent point,” conceded Cat. 

“Baby?” asked Kara after a few minutes of silence.

“Yeah?” asked Cat.

“You okay?” asked Kara in a concerned tone. She was nuzzled into Kara’s neck so it was a bit hard to see her expression, but Kara felt like something was wrong.

“Yes,” answered Cat automatically, but then she remembered that Kara liked it when she was honest. “I just never thought this could happen. Me having a wife, I mean. When I was growing up the idea of gay marriage was … a joke, really. Even when I saw things change I guess … part of me never believed it could happen for me,” said Cat softly, still having a bit of difficulty admitting these things out loud. And sometimes it was hard admitting it to Kara, because they just hadn’t gone through the same things. She was never sure if Kara would tell her she was just being stupid.

“It must’ve been hard for you growing up,” said Kara, understanding clear in her voice. She knew how hard her sexuality had been for her, she couldn’t even imagine how Cat had done it.

“Yeah. Yeah, I … I wasn’t exactly happy as a child. I always knew there was something different about me. I had friends … who were girls … and when they started going off with boys I guess I was a little jealous. But I didn’t really recognise it then, so I just decided friends were flaky and I didn’t need them. And then college happened, and I met this girl in first year journalism who … made me realise a lot of things. I couldn’t believe it when she liked me back. I couldn’t believe how it felt when she kissed me, when we ...” Cat stopped, wondering if maybe this conversation was too much for her wife to hear.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m glad she made you happy,” said Kara lovingly. She always wanted her wife to be able to talk to her. 

“Well, she did, and then she didn’t. We were together for about three years and then she left me … for some ridiculously low-paid job. And back then, finding someone new was a bit of a challenge. We didn’t have … apps … or whatever you call them. So I followed her. But of course, she’d already moved on … to your cousin, actually. I was a little … broken after that. I never thought I’d ever find anybody. I never thought I’d be happy, either. One night I tried … to jump off the roof. Your cousin caught me,” said Cat. She had felt so bad back then. She’d spent so long repressing everything, only to stop, let in something good, and feel the pain of loss and heartbreak. She’d decided there was no way she would ever be happy, and she was ready for it all to end.

“I’m glad he did,” said Kara softly, stroking her arm with her thumb gently. She couldn’t help but be glad her wife was alive now. She had changed her life, and made her the hero she was.

“Yeah, well, he also more or less blackmailed me into getting therapy. That’s when I got put on the anti-depressants. They didn’t actually make me feel that much better, but I was too scared to try again, and I felt obligated to take them, so in a way it worked out. I didn’t want anybody to know, and Clark kept quiet but I knew I might not be so lucky next time. My point is … I really never thought I’d get here. I used to be so miserable. And I felt that way for so long, for so many decades that it felt … inevitable. I fought my sexuality for so long and I really just never thought I could have this,” said Cat quietly, hoping that her wife understood. 

“I started trying to kill myself when I was sixteen,” said Kara after a few seconds. She took a breath after her wife squeezed her hand supportively. “I didn’t have any Kryptonite but I just kept trying falling from greater distances, or different blades, or chemicals. Eventually I gave up. Nothing worked. I just … I understand. I never thought I could be happy either,” said Kara. She had found it so hard to deal with the loss of her entire planet, especially since she was never allowed to grieve for them. She just had to pretend she was a normal human girl, and it killed her inside.

“Am I the first person you’ve ever told about that?” asked Cat softly. She knew her wife had a tendency to seem happy and friendly while keeping her darker emotions to herself. 

“Yeah,” admitted Kara. She couldn’t tell her adopted family. She didn’t want to seem ungrateful. And she couldn’t tell anyone else, because how could she? She never wanted to burden anybody else.

“You know, therapy really does help,” suggested Cat softly. She may have been blackmailed into it originally, but she did find it valuable now. 

“Oh, I don’t need it now. After I got out of that awful small town, things got way better. And getting to be a hero, I finally felt like I mattered. Like I was worthwhile. And meeting you … well, that was pretty good too,” said Kara. She had never had a chemical imbalance or anything a therapist could ever really understand. She had just needed to get away from a whole lot of bigots, and find a way to be herself – even if most of the time she could only be half of herself, at least she got to be the other half sometimes too, even if she did have to wear a costume to do it. She hadn’t needed a psychiatrist to solve her misery; she’d needed to be in a better situation. 

She’d felt so bad back then. She had been terrified of her own feelings when she was adopted. On Krypton, nobody had cared, so she had had no problem acknowledging how she felt. But then all of a sudden she had to suppress how she felt, on top of her unimaginable grief. She had to pretend to be somebody else, in so many ways, and she had just wanted it to stop. 

It was almost unbelievable how far she’d come since then. She’d learned how to let new people in and let them fill the void in her heart. She’d learned that there were plenty of people who would accept her sexuality and that she didn’t need to hide it. She’d learned that helping people made her feel better, and so did letting people help her. She was still amazed every day she woke up next to Cat. She had never thought she could ever have this. In school, she was convinced she’d have to hide forever. In college, she could never trust anyone with who she really was. At her job, she never thought Cat could like her back. But here she was. It really did get better.

“I love you,” said Cat simply, not knowing what else to say. She had spent so long pushing Kara away, and it broke her heart to think of the damage she really did. She had spent so long wrapped up in her own feelings that she hadn’t noticed Kara’s. Kara, who despite all her pain had always been nice to everyone, had made her rethink her attitude completely. Sure, she was never going to be super warm and friendly, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t keep a few more comments to herself. After all, you never know what people are going through, and she didn’t want to cause anyone any more pain.

“Well, good. You did just marry me,” joked Kara, needing to lighten the mood a little. Cat smiled and cuddled further into her wife, taking the time to think about all the good things Kara had brought to her life. 

“Since you are my wife now, we should probably talk about a few things. Like what bank are you with?” asked Cat after a few minutes.

“What bank am I with? Why?” asked Kara, confused.

“Because when we merge everything into one joint account I need to know which bank to call?” said Cat. She realised suddenly that Kara hadn’t ever done this before, and she was rather young, so naturally she didn’t know how any of this worked. 

“Oh I … maybe it would be better to keep it separate. You know, so I don’t spend your money,” said Kara quietly. She knew Cat knew exactly how much she made, but it still made her insecure to talk about money.

“Darling, you realise we’re married, right? It’s our money now. We need to buy things together for our house … and for ourselves, and I want you to have enough money,” said Cat. She honestly didn’t know how many times she was going to have to tell Kara that she was happy to buy her things until she believed her. 

“Well, I mean, I guess if you want. But I promise I won’t spend anything without consulting you ...” started Kara.

“What? No! What part of ‘our money’ is not getting through to you? Look, I’d obviously like some input into anything you buy for this house, since I live here too. But if you see a jacket and you want to buy it then you should buy it … with our money. Okay?” asked Cat. She had been in relationships with men before who were earning a lot more than she was, and she knew what it was like to be financially controlled. They would do things like buy her some nice shoes and then demand she sleep with them, or imply she wouldn’t be able to pay her bills unless she did exactly what they wanted. She would never do that to anyone.

“Baby, I want you to think this through. I don’t want you to be mad at me. I know you earn most of the money, and I understand that ...” started Kara.

“Okay, I’m just going to stop you there. I don’t know what ideas you’ve been exposed to, but I am not going to get mad at you for spending our money on reasonable things. Yes, if you come home and tell me you’ve bought five thousand gorillas as an impulse purchase, I’d be a tad upset. Where would we put them? It’s just not practical. However, it’s the same way, I imagine, you’d be upset if I spent our money on something absurd. You do not need my permission to spend our money, okay? Just because I earn more, doesn’t mean I get more control. You contribute to this relationship in other ways that are just as valid, like spending time with Carter while I’m working, or being a damn Superhero and saving our city. Okay?” asked Cat. It was very important to her that Kara understood this. She was not letting it go.

“Okay,” said Kara hesitantly. She just didn’t want her wife to get mad at her later.

“Okay. Great. Do you want to be an organ donor?” asked Cat.

“Wow, this is just a day of joy, isn’t it?” asked Kara rhetorically.

“Kara, I’m your next of kin now. I need to know what to say if this comes up,” said Cat seriously. She knew people Kara’s age probably didn’t think about this sort of thing, but she had seen enough friends die to need to ask.

“Yeah, okay, you’re right. I don’t know if the Kryptonian thing will be a problem, but if it’s not, sure, take my organs. You?” asked Kara, realising she’d have no idea what her wife wanted.

“Yes, me too. Under what conditions do you want me to turn off life support?” asked Cat.

“Wow, there’s a question,” said Kara incredulously. This wasn’t exactly how she imagined her first day of married life.

“Do you think I like asking it? Do you think I enjoy thinking about you half-dead on a hospital bed? Because I don’t,” said Cat, her voice breaking. She didn’t want to think about any of this, but she’d seen what happened when people were unprepared, and she didn’t want to have to guess what Kara would’ve wanted. 

“No, baby, I’m sorry. I guess I’ve just always imagined … dying in battle, I guess. But I get that we should be prepared for everything. I guess … if I’d be in a lot of pain, turn it off. You?” asked Kara.

“Oh, never. I don’t pay these outrageous health insurance fees for nothing – I want value for money. That reminds me, I’ll have to put you on my policy,” added Cat, although she wasn’t sure if a Kryptonian actually needed health insurance.

“Okay, cool. Is that it?” asked Kara. She got why this was important, but she really wanted it to be over.

“Yes, darling. That’s it. Was this really so bad?” asked Cat gently. She thought her wife was being a little dramatic, especially for someone who put herself in mortal danger every second day. She had also decided to not bring up putting the apartment in joint names next time the lease came up, since Kara had clearly had enough adult decision making for the day.

“No, not really. I guess … my age group doesn’t really think about any of this stuff. It seems so far away,” replied Kara. She was glad she was with someone older. There were a lot of things she didn’t think about that her wife could help her with. 

“Plenty of people die young,” countered Cat.

“And on that happy note, are you hungry? Because I’m a little hungry,” said Kara. She was a lot hungry, but Cat was well aware of that. She had quickly realised that when her wife mentioned food it was because she was practically starving and ready to eat three pints of ice cream.

“Well, funny you say that. Since we both agreed wedding cakes are an absurd waste of money, but I had a feeling you liked cake, I got you a few cheap cakes from the store. They’re in the fridge,” said Cat.

“CAKE!” yelled Kara excitedly as she ran to the fridge and grabbed a cake and two spoons, returning to her wife on the couch and giving her a spoon. 

“Do you like it?” asked Cat, sighing as she ate a bite. It wasn’t exactly gourmet, but damn, sugar did taste good. Kara just nodded excitedly as she kept eating. “I realised when I was there that I didn’t know what your favourite kind of cake was, so I just got as many varieties as I could carry. What is your favourite?” asked Cat. She was glad she could make Kara happily so easy. She had never met anybody who was impressed by cakes she bought at the supermarket. And yet, as she took another bite, she realised that maybe this wasn’t so hard to like. She was so used to spending obscene amounts of money on everything, she’d never really tried the cheap version.

“Well, all cake is good cake to me. But … chocolate is always great,” answered Kara between mouthfuls. 

“I’ll make sure to remember that,” promised Cat. She still had a lot to learn about her wife, but she was determined to find everything that made her happy and commit it to memory.

* * *

Astra finally put Alex down after the long flight home. Alex didn’t like feeling the loss of Astra’s touch, so she put her arms around her neck and pulled her in close.

“Alex, wait,” said Astra. Alex immediately pulled back.

“Did I do something wrong?” asked Alex, concerned. She had thought Astra liked being close to her, but clearly not.

“No, not at all. I just don’t want you to rush anything,” said Astra. She wanted to pull Alex in and never let her go, but she’d never want to hurt anyone. She knew Alex was confused, and she didn’t want her to do anything she wasn’t sure of.

“Well, I don’t feel rushed. I want to kiss you. I want you to pull me close again,” stated Alex confidently.

“I just … I want you to remember that if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, just tell me and I stop. I’ll always stop if you tell me to. You don’t need to give me a reason why, because you not wanting it is reason enough. Okay?” asked Astra. She always wanted Alex to know she wasn’t obligated to do anything.

“You know, I’m not going to break or anything,” said Alex dejectedly. She hated how Astra kept pulling away from her, even though neither of them actually seemed to want her to.

“I don’t know why you think wanting to establishing basic consent counts as treating you like you’re going to break, but it’s a little concerning that you do,” countered Astra seriously.

“I just … I know I can tell you to stop and you will, okay?” asked Alex. She never doubted that Astra would stop if she asked. She didn’t know why Astra thought she did.

“First of all, better safe than sorry. Second of all, I don’t know what ideas these awful men you’ve been with have put in your head. I know you didn’t like being with them, but you did it anyway, and that makes me a bit cautious around you. Maybe that’s a little annoying. But don’t you think that’s better than somebody who doesn’t care?” asked Astra.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. I just … really want to kiss you. And you keep pulling back, but I don’t want you to pull back. And I don’t think you do either,” explained Alex. She liked that Astra cared about her. Of course she liked that. But she also wanted more, and she was pretty sure Astra did too.

“No, I don’t. But I also don’t want to do anything you’re not 100% sure you want. Okay?” asked Astra. She wanted to make sure Alex understood that she did like her, and she did want more, but she was going to wait until Alex was ready.

“Okay,” agreed Alex, relieved when Astra finally kissed her. She eagerly kissed her back as Astra picked her up again for a few seconds so she could lie her down on the couch, and then hovered a few inches above her as they continued to make out. Astra kept her hands cupping Alex’s face, but Alex’s hands started gently exploring Astra’s torso. Alex couldn’t help but blush as she realised how much she liked this. She’d clumsily forced herself to feel up her boyfriends because that’s what she’d seen in movies, but now she understood. She loved feeling Astra above her, and she really liked touching her.

* * *

Carter had only been able to stay a little while; he’d muttered something about having to learn an entire foreign language over the weekend. Alura had made sure to give him her number, and let him know that she was only a super-sped flight away. Carter had had a great time flying through the air in her arms back to his mothers’ house, and he’d said he’d love to do it again sometime.

Alura flew home to Lucy right afterwards, deciding now was as good a time as any to have a conversation she realised they needed to have.

“Hey babe. How was it?” asked Lucy when Alura came through the door.

“Good. I think Cat makes my daughter very happy,” answered Alura, still waiting for her opening to have that conversation.

“Yeah, she seems to. Kara never shut up about how amazing Cat was even before they were dating,” said Lucy, remembering all the times Kara had brought up all of Cat’s accomplishments. She really should have seen it then.

“Can I talk to you?” asked Alura after a few seconds of silence.

“Sure,” answered Lucy hesitantly, never liking how serious that question sounded.

“So … you know … well, I guess you don’t know, because I didn’t tell you, but you might’ve guessed that I’ve only ever been with Zor,” started Alura hesitantly.

“Okay, babe, listen, it doesn’t matter that you’ve never been with a woman to me,” interrupted Lucy. Was this what she was so nervous about? Did she think she was going to leave her for not having enough experience? Because, really, who would even do that?

“That’s not really where I’m going with this. So … I wanted to know what to do, so I looked it up on Google and ...” started Alura. She had put her new laptop to good use, although it hadn’t been as exciting as she was hoping it would be.

“Oh, Jesus,” muttered Lucy, vaguely amused at whatever horrifically inaccurate thing Alura had found.

“I don’t know if I can do that. I mean, I don’t want to do … that … to you. And I don’t want you to do it to me either,” said Alura with a horrified expression as she remembered that awful video.

“Babe, listen, that stuff isn’t accurate. I don’t know what you found, but nothing is ever going to happen that both of us don’t want. And people put a lot of stuff on the internet that … well, it’s made for men to find attractive. It’s not even realistic,” said Lucy soothingly. 

“Okay but like … are you a top? Or ...” started Alura. She had found a lot of things on Google. She was very attached to Lucy, but she had started wondering what she’d gotten herself into.

“Babe, really, I don’t know where some people get these ideas from. There are no pre-defined roles. Unless, of course, you specifically only want to do that. Look, when you’re ready, I’ll walk you through it, okay?” asked Lucy. She didn’t know where people had gotten the idea that there were somehow only two possible things people could do in bed, and one person would always do one, and the other person would do the other. What was it with people trying to enforce non-existent binaries onto people? And then attaching a whole lot of stereotypes to each part of that binary? 

“Show me,” commanded Alura softly. She knew she wanted Lucy; that’s why she’d started looking things up. She was definitely encouraged by Lucy telling her what she saw wasn’t accurate, but she wanted to know what was.

“Like … now?” asked Lucy.

“I mean, you don’t have to or anything. Just forget I ...” started Alura before being cut off by Lucy’s kiss. 

“I want to. But … are you sure you want to do this right now? You don’t have to,” said Lucy, pulling away slightly. She didn’t want to pressure her.

“Yes,” said Alura simply as she kissed Lucy again and gently guided her towards her bedroom.

* * *

“Do you want dinner or something?” asked Astra after breaking away from another heated kiss.

“Um … yeah,” said Alex, taking a few seconds to process the words. She had never felt like this before. Her heart was racing, but in the best way. She was just enjoying … feeling. Everything finally felt right. She didn’t need alcohol to numb sensation like she usually did, and she didn’t need to escape reality, because right now, in this moment, reality was actually pretty okay. 

“What do you feel like?” asked Astra, moving to stand in front of the couch. Alex instantly missed the feeling of her girlfriend close to her, so she got up too.

“Whatever,” said Alex nonchalantly. She really didn’t care. As long as she was with Astra, she was happy. Astra just smirked at the effect she clearly had on her girlfriend, but said nothing as she grabbed her girlfriend’s hand and led her to the kitchen. 

“How about some chicken? With all five vegetables in this fridge?” asked Astra after looking through Alex’s food supply.

“Cool,” said Alex happily. She did appreciate that Astra could make dinner in about ten minutes with all her super powers. It was also handy because it meant that she could make more very fast, and Astra still tended to drastically underestimate how much she needed to eat. 

“You know, we might want to consider keeping more … real food in the house? I know take-a-way is convenient and everything but I’d prefer it if you stayed healthy,” said Astra, not liking the idea of anything bad ever happening to Alex, even though she knew one day it was inevitable. 

“Well, if you want to do the shopping and cook it all, feel free,” said Alex. She had never been one for worrying about the long-term, but Astra made her open to the idea. 

“Okay,” sighed Astra. She had had a feeling Alex wasn’t particularly risk averse and wasn’t going to do anything, but she was willing to put in the effort to keep her safe and healthy. 

They ate in comfortable silence; partly because Astra always shoved food into her mouth as fast as possible and partly because both of them were actually pretty quiet people – well, around most people anyway. Alex had only really ever let her defences down with Kara, and even then, Kara did most of the talking. Astra had opened up to a few people over the years, but most of them had betrayed her, so she was even more careful now. Despite that, she could see a future for her and Alex. Alex was so vulnerable with her, and that made Astra want to let down her defences too. She knew they would need to communicate more in the future, but right now this felt right.

* * *

“My wife,” mumbled Kara sleepily as she woke up to see Cat. 

“Your wife,” confirmed Cat softly with a few gentle rubs on her shoulder to wake her up.

“Why?” whined Kara at the contact. She was tired. She was still jet-lagged. She wanted to go back to sleep.

“Because Carter is a little nervous for his first day. And he wants you to go with him,” explained Cat softly.

“Okay, okay, I’m up,” said Kara, quickly changing into the first thing she saw. She’d always be there for Carter when she could. She was also incredibly proud that Carter had wanted her to go with him. She was very relieved that her wife hadn’t taken that as an insult, and didn’t seem to mind. 

“Do you remember where the school is?” asked Cat, not wanting her boy to be late.

“Yes, baby. It’ll be fine. Love you,” said Kara, quickly kissing her wife.

“Love you too,” said Cat quickly as she watched her wife rush off.

* * *

“Babe, I have to go to work,” said Lucy after nudging Alura three times. The Kryptonian arm holding her in place still had not moved. The nice, silent alarm on her watch had worked fine, but now she was wondering if she should blast really annoying music instead. 

“You get up this early?” asked Alura, only opening her eyes for a second before shutting them in the darkness.

“Yes, and when the uni semester starts, you’ll probably be getting up this early too. Now move your arm,” commanded Lucy softly, not appreciating that her girlfriend was making it even harder to get up this early in the morning. There was nothing she wanted to do more than close her eyes and go back to sleep, but she couldn’t. 

“Sorry,” mumbled Alura as she moved her arm and turned her body away from Lucy. 

“I’ll see you tonight though, okay baby?” asked Lucy softly, not wanting Alura to feel used. She wanted her to know she really cared about her, and she hoped the soft kiss to her forehead conveyed that.

“’Kay,” said Alura sleepily, smiling as she felt Lucy’s kiss.

* * *

“I really hate that alarm,” grumbled Astra as Alex left her arms to turn the insipid beeping off. 

“You can sleep for another ten minutes while I shower,” offered Alex softly while she grabbed her clothes.

“Great,” said Astra sarcastically, although she closed her eyes anyway. It was soft and warm here, and ten minutes was better than nothing. Alex just smiled when she saw her already asleep again and left to shower.

* * *

“How was he?” asked Cat when Kara returned home. 

“Okay, I think. He was pretty nervous but he went through the gates looking reasonably confident. I think he learned that from you,” added Kara off-handedly.

“I worry about that sometimes, you know? That he’ll pick up all my issues,” admitted Cat quietly. She found it a lot easier to be honest now. It always felt better when she talked to Kara about how she felt about things. She knew her wife wasn’t going to yell at her, or make her feel bad.

“Oh, baby, I think he’s got his own issues. He’s quiet, completely unlike you. He’s … actually kind of your opposite, now that I’m thinking about it,” said Kara, suddenly thinking about how they were really nothing alike. 

“Yeah, mostly. But I hide behind aggression and confidence, and I worry he’s just plain hiding. I’ve been to every parent-teacher confidence and literally everyone has told me he doesn’t talk in class. He never has friends over. He barely leaves the house. I just … worry,” said Cat. She had always been looking to run away from her parents the second she got the chance. Carter, on the other hand, seemed to never want to leave. Part of her was obviously thrilled that he didn’t need to get away from her, but the other part worried if he’d be able to deal with the real world, and people who weren’t his immediate family.

“Okay, he’s quiet. That’s not necessarily bad. It’s not like he really gets into any trouble. In fact, unless there’s things you haven’t told me, the only time he got into trouble was when you pushed him outside his comfort zone. Just because you wouldn’t like certain things, doesn’t mean he doesn’t. He seems really happy playing video games at home. So he doesn’t want people to come over, or to go anywhere. Who cares? He’s fine. And his grades are pretty good too, so who cares that he doesn’t talk in class? I think one day he might find his shyness a burden, but I’m sure he’ll deal with it. Besides, do we really want him to spend time with kids his age? Do you remember the stupid things you used to do when you were that young? I think we’re better influences on him”.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right. I’ll always worry though. Worry that I’m making all the wrong decisions, that I’ll turn into my mother ...” started Cat.

“Hey! You could never be like your mother. You would never abandon your child. And neither would I. I don’t think we have to worry so much, I think we just need to be here for him and love him for who he is,” interrupted Kara. She knew how important it was to have people you could be yourself around. She imagined her wife knew too. Neither of them had had that, and even though they’d managed to deal with it, nobody should have to.

“I’m so glad I married you,” said Cat earnestly. Her wife always managed to make her feel better. And she had experienced a much more loving upbringing, which often saved her from repeating some of her mother’s mistakes because she didn’t know any better. 

“Mm. Speaking of marriage, how about we consummate ours?” asked Kara confidently. It had taken a while, but she finally felt comfortable making the first move. She had always been a little worried that Cat would leave her, or would reject her, but now that they were married, all her fears just felt silly. She knew people got divorced, but she was fairly confident Cat wasn’t leaving her any time soon.

“Wow, it only took me to marry you for you to finally have to confidence to ...” started Cat dryly but her wife cut her off with a kiss. Cat didn’t mind, she just pulled Kara closer and kissed her back. She was glad her wife was comfortable around her and could ask for what she wanted.

“Is that a yes?” asked Kara softly into Cat’s ear. Cat could only nod as Kara quickly sped them towards the bedroom.


	9. Chapter 9

“Baby, this timetable is awful,” whined Alura. She was staring at her laptop, looking like she was in pain. Time had gone so quickly the last few months; she had had such an amazing time with Lucy. She had come to think that maybe Earth really could be something wonderful, but now, staring at 8 AM start times and five hour gaps (at the minimum), she wasn’t so sure.

“I’m sure it can’t be ...” started Lucy, but then she saw what Alura was looking at. One day had two classes – one that started at 8 AM, and one that finished at 8 PM. “Wow, that’s bad,” she breathed out. “Were these really the only options?” she asked a few seconds later, almost confused as to how anyone could end up with this.

“Well, they were the only ones still open,” replied Alura with a huff. Lucy held back a chuckle, because it was kind of funny, except her girlfriend being sad was never funny.

“Oh God baby, I’m sorry. I should’ve mentioned when sign on opens at 8 AM, you need to get on the site at 7:59 and hit refresh every few seconds because those slots fill up in seconds after it opens, because nobody wants to be stuck with … this,” said Lucy apologetically. The more she looked at it, the worse it seemed to be. Was that an 8 AM math class on Monday? That was a rough start to the week.

“It’ll be fine, right? It’s just one semester, I suppose,” said Alura, trying to be optimistic.

“Yeah, it is. And I guess you’ll have lots of free time to do your assignments,” said Lucy, trying to emulate Alura’s optimism. 

“This sucks though,” muttered Alura, dropping the optimism entirely. She just couldn’t keep it up. Lucy just laughed (because it was pretty funny when you didn’t have to do it) and sat on her girlfriend’s lap, kissing her.

“Does this suck less?” asked Lucy lightly after a few seconds after pulling away. Alura just nodded and gently pulled her girlfriend into her, trying to forget the future pain ahead by getting lost in the moment now.

* * *

“What the hell are we going to do about this?” asked Cat tersely. She didn’t want to be emotional; she wanted a plan. No, she needed a plan. Because this was unacceptable.

“Okay one, keep your voice down. Carter’s upset enough. And two, this really isn’t that bad,” said Kara firmly. She didn’t appreciate Cat’s tendency to push her son and hold him to ridiculously high standards.

“What do you mean this isn’t bad? He’s failing!” yelled Cat, although in a very restrained volume. She knew her wife was right; Carter shouldn’t hear this. He was upset. But they needed a plan.

“At a language he didn’t speak a word of six months ago! He’s stuck in a class of almost fluent speakers, and he’s too scared to ask what anything means. Besides, his maths grades are great as ever, and he’s even getting A’s in chemistry,” countered Kara. Her wife had a bad habit of just criticising things that could be better, and not appreciating the things people did well. Carter was doing better (by most people’s definitions) in school than she ever did, so naturally she didn’t feel like she was in a position to criticise. 

“Kara, darling, love of my life, I love that you want to support Carter. And I get it, I do. I know what bad parenting feels like. But I need you to accept, just this once, that love and support can’t fix his French grade,” said Cat, spitting out that last part very harshly despite her best efforts. She had seen the positive affects Kara’s softness had brought to her son. It wasn’t monumental; he was the same shy, quiet kid he’d always been. But there were small moments where he’d ask for help where he never did before, and Cat was certain that was all because of her wife. But that didn’t mean Kara was always right, and it didn’t mean her way was the right way this time.

“And yelling at him can? Look, he wishes he was doing better too, but he isn’t. And he does need to feel loved and supported, not because it will make his grades go up, although it probably won’t hurt them, but because it will make him feel safe and happy,” said Kara firmly. She had watched Alex get pushed her whole life by Eliza, and she’d be damned if she did the same thing to anyone else. Sure, Alex got amazing grades, but she also cried in her room a lot because she felt like a failure anyway. And whenever she’d struggled she’d never reach out for help because she was too ashamed to admit she wasn’t meeting the absurd standards other people had set for her.

“Right, so do nothing; that’s your solution?” asked Cat. She was trying to be calm, but she couldn’t help but be a little annoyed at the lack of a plan her wife seemed perfectly comfortable with.

“Just out of curiosity, what is your brilliant plan to teach our son French?” asked Kara. She didn’t bother answering the question because she knew her wife was being rhetorical anyway. 

“Well, I just thought if we took away a few of those games he likes so much ...” started Cat.

“Oh, I see. Because if we took away his games, he’d really spend the time learning French,” interrupted Kara dryly. She knew she was closer to the boy’s age and hence remembered what it was like better, but surely her wife couldn’t be that naive.

“Well, he will if he wants the games back,” snapped Cat. She was well aware of how to motivate people. She was the CEO of a company that got 100% out of it’s employees – and not by telling them how great they were. It was with fear and constant pushing, because that was what got results.

“Baby, you’ve tried this. He doesn’t respond to it. He just withdraws and gets sad. I realise that it’s a good strategy for some kids when used with achievable standards and good support, but I don’t think it’s magically going to start working on our son. Besides, talking away the only thing he likes doing is cruel,” argued Kara softly. She was trying to appeal to her wife emotionally, which was always a bit hard with Cat, but she knew she had to get the message across. For Carter.

“Well what’s your idea, hmm? Because he needs to do better. Sure, his maths and science grades are great. But he’s barely passing English. He scraped through history because he’s great at guessing multiple choice. He’s only getting through art and health class because they really just pass anybody who shows up. And he’s failing French!” yelled Cat in a volume low enough she hoped Carter couldn’t hear, although she was being a little louder than she really intended to be. Sometimes she wondered if she’d sheltered him too much, or given him too much, because he just didn’t understand how the real world worked. His response to this report card had been ‘wow I can’t believe they passed me in art; I drew stick figures for one assignment’. 

“Oh, come on. We both understand in the real world you only need to be good at one thing. He doesn’t need English. He doesn’t need history. He doesn’t need art. He’ll do a science or engineering degree, and he’ll be fine,” dismissed Kara. The truth was it was probably better that he wasn’t good at any of the arts stuff. Good jobs in that stuff were one in a million anyway. This way he couldn’t get too confused and was bound to pick something that was likely to actually go somewhere.

“But how’s he going to get into the degree with these grades?” countered Cat. She was well aware that Kara was right – he only needed this stuff for school and then it was completely useless outside of it – but he needed it to get into university regardless.

“Baby, I know you have … certain aspirations for him. But maybe now is the time to accept that he isn’t going to get into the top university in the country, and he’s okay with that,” said Kara gently.

“He doesn’t understand though. You know he doesn’t understand. He thinks he’s okay with it because he wants to do less now, but trust me, when that boy is twenty and earning very little, he’s going to be whining about how we didn’t push him hard enough,” warned Cat. She had quite a few friends with older children. She was well aware how quickly ‘mum I don’t want to do this; leave me alone’ turned into ‘mum why didn’t you make me do that; it’s all your fault’.

“Well, if that happens, that’s his problem. At the end of the day, his choices are his. Eliza tried to get me more interested in science, but I just didn’t like it. And there were times when I thought maybe that was a mistake. But if I had’ve done science, I never would’ve met you. So I think maybe things will work themselves out, and besides, he does have your money to fall back on,” countered Kara. 

“Our money,” corrected Cat gently. She wondered when her wife would finally do that automatically. 

“Okay, our money,” correct Kara shyly. It still felt wrong, like it wasn’t really hers, but she was slowly trying to accept it. 

“Sure, okay, maybe he’ll be fine going to a second-rate university and only getting a science degree, which hopefully will be in one of the few things you can do something with, but then what? If he can get a job with that, it won’t be with Google, will it? And do you really think he’ll be so happy with his choice then, even if he does meet a gorgeous CEO he falls madly in love with?” asked Cat lightly. 

“Honestly? I think he will. I don’t think he has your aspiration baby. I think he’s happy to live a relatively minimalist lifestyle, so long as it comes with with a consoles and a few games,” answered Kara softly as she kissed her wife’s hand and gently pulled her down to sit on the bed so she could get her in a more relaxed position. Cat sighed and relaxed slightly as she let her wife put her arm around her.

“I …” started Cat, but then she thought about it. Carter didn’t have expensive taste. It was a bit better than Kara, but not by much. And he certainly didn’t seem to have much ambition either. “I really hope that doesn’t change, because he’s limiting his options,” said Cat finally. She wasn’t thrilled about doing nothing, but it wasn’t worth doing something if it was going to make things worse. And Carter not being happy was definitely worse.

“This is just who he is, baby. And yes, he might be different if he hadn’t grown up with a lot of money, but he has, and I don’t think he’s going to change any time soon. I think we both know what it’s like to have parents who try to force us to be something we’re not, and neither of us enjoyed that. So please, can you just tell him it’s okay and that we love him?” pleaded Kara. Cat hated it when her wife gave her those endearing puppy dog eyes. They were just so hard to say no to.

“I want you to come to the parent-teacher conference in a few days,” said Cat firmly. She wasn’t just going to give in because her wife was adorable. She had conditions.

“Baby, of course I’ll be there for our son,” said Kara lovingly, surprised her wife thought she ever wouldn’t want to go to anything for Carter.

“Oh darling, you’re so naive sometimes. Parent-teacher conferences are not about showing support for your child, they are about listening to how everything is either your fault, or your child’s fault ... and sometimes both,” corrected Cat dryly.

“Baby, I think you might be overreacting. But of course I’ll be there,” said Kara with an easy smile. Cat sighed as she got up and held out her hand for her wife.

“Then fine ... I’ll tell him he can fail and it’s all fine,” said Cat reluctantly. Kara grimaced as she took her wife’s hand and stood.

“How about I do the talking?” asked Kara gently, not wanting her wife’s poor language choices to hurt their son.

“That’s probably for the best,” conceded Cat. They walked out of the bedroom together with their hands laced to where Carter was playing his X-box in the lounge.

“Hey buddy,” started Kara. Carter just grunted his acknowledgement. “We just wanted to say that we love you, regardless of how you do on tests, but also we were really impressed by those maths and science grades. Right baby?” prompted Kara. She wanted Carter to get some positive feedback on the stuff he did well, as opposed to just a constant stream of criticism.

“Yes,” agreed Cat simply, because she decided the less she said, the better.

“Uh-huh,” said Carter disbelievingly. He was well aware of his mother’s standards, and he knew how she felt about his performance. He thought that Kara probably did mean what she said, which was nice, but it would be nicer if both his mothers could be supportive.

“Okay, so anyway we just wanted to let you know that even though some people could’ve reacted better, we understand that this move has been an adjustment for you and we’re really proud of you for doing well in math and science – which is what will actually get you a job, you know?” prompted Kara again, wanting her wife to say more than ‘yes’ during this conversation.

“That is true, you know? A lot of my generation’s jobs are slowly but surely being automated, so you’re actually doing really well in what counts,” said Cat as supportively as she could.

“’Kay,” said Carter dismissively as he noticed another oncoming wave of Zombies. He groaned as he saw his health status. “Is that it?” he asked, vaguely aware that his mothers hadn’t left yet.

“Yeah, sure,” said Kara softly as she led her wife back to their room. She was always a bit taken aback by how unaffected he seemed to be sometimes. But she knew it wasn’t that he didn’t care about them, but he just wasn’t very interested in other people’s validation – which had been a bit of a shock after dealing with Alex for so long. Cat had explained that Carter may be very sensitive around people, but he wasn’t particularly affected by praise; he just liked to be left alone with a game most of the time.

* * *

“So, obviously his grades are very good,” started Michelle. She was his maths teacher. Cat had decided to start with the easy ones, just to ease her wife into things. “But he doesn’t always do his homework, which you should really work on,” she added seriously.

“He’s getting A’s in every test; why would he need to do more homework?” asked Kara, slightly confused, slightly defensive. Cat was grinning already. This was going to be so much better than she’d thought.

“We set the homework for a reason Mrs. Grant. We expect our students to complete it so they can get the best results possible,” said Michelle firmly. She was a little surprised at the question, but she tried to answer it calmly anyway. 

“Right, but he’s already getting the best result possible. Because he’s getting A’s. So he really doesn’t need to,” argued Kara firmly. This was absurd. Why would he need to do more?

“Maybe he’s getting his anti-authoritarian attitude from home,” said Michelle quietly. She had seen this all before - kids who repeated bad attitudes their parents had taught them - and all it led to was detentions and bad grades.

“Maybe him not blindly following your instructions isn’t a bad thing; did you ever think of that?” asked Kara aggressively. She didn’t appreciate Michelle not giving her a reasonable explanation of her demands, or deciding her child should be forced to adhere to whatever this woman decided was necessary.

“Okay, darling, calm down. Thank you so much Michelle, we’ll get right on that. Anything else?” asked Cat sweetly. Kara noted it was the same tone Cat used around investors. 

Michelle took a breath and seemed to calm down at Cat’s demeanour, which Kara found mildly amusing. She was used to things being the other way around. Cat was just enjoying Kara’s Sunny Danvers personality finally crack. She kept it up so often that whenever it finally dropped she had a whole lot of repressed rage just waiting to be released, which was often highly entertaining – so long as it wasn’t directed at her, obviously. 

“Well, he doesn’t really seem to want to work with the other children. Is he an only child?” asked Michelle in a knowing tone. She’d seen enough only children who didn’t understand the concept of sharing for a god damn lifetime.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to because he can do it himself and he doesn’t feel like doing your job for you,” answered Kara aggressively, although she was trying to be calmer. She had heard Carter talk about his classes a few times – he didn’t do it unless he really had something to say, which wasn’t too often, but when he did it was always a pretty entertaining rant. She distinctly remembered one boy in math who didn’t seem to understand basic multiplication who Carter had just let copy off him out of desperation to get it all over with.

“Yes he is, Michelle, and you’re so right, we’ll talk to him about that,” answered Cat smiling, lovingly grabbing Kara’s hand and rubbing her thumb soothingly. Kara seemed to calm a little at the contact, but not enough to make this any less fun, which Cat was glad for.

“And he just doesn’t ask questions,” started Michelle.

“He is getting straight A’s,” stated Kara bluntly. 

“Yes, but ...” started Michelle.

“Why would he need to ask you anything when he is getting straight A’s already?” asked Kara, who was just vaguely annoyed at this point. This had to be the most absurd conversation she’d ever had. This woman made no sense, but she had all the power. It was infuriating.

“Well, he doesn’t get 100%, does he?” asked Michelle knowingly. Kara was about to say something else in a tone she had agreed not to use when the bell rang, indicating it was time to talk to the next teacher. 

“So great seeing you, bye!” said Cat quickly as she pulled her wife to the next teacher, trying very hard to contain her glee. 

“That was stupid,” muttered Kara so just her wife could hear. She didn’t want to be rude, but she was finding it increasingly difficult not to scream.

“Oh, just you wait,” whispered Cat. “Penelope, hi, so good to see you. I’m Carter’s mother, and this is his other mother,” said Cat warmly as she approached Carter’s science teacher.

“Oh, great. You know, Carter is such a joy to have in class. Although ...” started Penelope.

“He is getting straight A’s in your class,” interjected Kara in an incredibly annoyed tone. She knew exactly where this was going, and she was getting in on the front foot. What were these people’s problems?

“Yes, but he just doesn’t talk in class,” said Penelope with a sigh. She felt bad for the poor boy sitting alone in class. 

“So what?” asked Kara, exasperated. 

“Well, in the real world, he’s going to have to talk to people,” said Penelope defensively.

“Right, but that’s a while off, isn’t it? And, since we’re talking about the real world, I have a sister who has a PhD in science, and she’s mentioned to me that the stuff you teach at school is not only completely unable to be applied to anyone outside of the science industry, but it’s not even teaching anything relevant to any vaguely modern scientific techniques,” countered Kara aggressively. She remembered Alex explaining how a lot of experiments in school and university were done just because they were easy to set up, the materials were easy to get and cheap, and the experiments could be done in under an hour. The fact that real science used very expensive machines with very different materials was apparently beside the point as far as most educators were concerned. 

“I don’t write the curriculum, Mrs. Grant,” said Penelope dejectedly. She was well aware that nothing they were teaching was industry standard, but it would take real money to get a lab that would do that, and shockingly nobody was willing to put that into the curriculum.

“Yeah, I get that. I’m just saying nothing about your class is teaching him anything to do with the real world, so ...” started Kara. 

“Okay, darling, I think that’s enough. Of course we’ll talk to him about speaking up more,” said Cat warmly. She still hadn’t let go of her wife’s hand and she squeezed it a little for effect. Kara sighed as she let her wife placate the teacher once more.

“That’s great. He really does seem to have a great interest in science. Is he thinking about it for a career?” asked Penelope excitedly.

“My sister says that jobs in science are basically either in a research environment, which aren’t very common anyway, and where you rely on research grants which only cover a few years and then you have to hope that you’ll get another one – because otherwise it’s going to get very hard to pay the bills all of a sudden – or in a steady lab job, where you just run the same tests all day – which there really aren’t all that many of because machines do a lot of testing now. So, you know, we’re not really pushing him towards it,” explained Kara calmly. She’d had a bit of a long conversation with Alex when it became clear that Carter’s strength was math and science. She had been a bit surprised when Alex spent the next hour telling her why she shouldn’t do a science degree – unless of course it was in computer science, which did have quite a number of steady jobs.

“Oh, I think people can do anything they put their minds to,” said Penelope brightly.

“Is that why you became a teacher?” asked Kara with a glare. Of course, people who got into science and then realised it wasn’t actually the gold mine people pretended it was often went into teaching because it didn’t pay well but it paid better than unemployment. At least, that’s what Alex said. She’d also mentioned she basically had to sign up to the military to get a real job, and if that didn’t sum up the employment options from a science degree, she didn’t know what did. Kara really didn’t appreciate people misleading kids – especially her kid – into doing something which really wasn’t a good option.

“Okay, darling, calm down. Yes, I think he is considering it quite a lot. He clearly has the aptitude for maths and science,” said Cat calmly. It was true, of course. It was really computer science that he was interested in, but that was a detail Carter never bothered to share with anyone, so Cat wouldn’t either.

“Oh, well that’s great. He’ll be earning millions in no time,” said Penelope grinning.

“He’d have a better chance of earning millions if he was doing well in arts. And FYI, that’s not a great chance either,” said Kara dryly. The best option for a science degree was academia – academics sure did get paid a lot for people who seemed to go on strike demanding better pay a lot . Of course, that job required a PhD, which required a lot of money and great grades, a current academic to like you, and the ability to trick students into picking your field of research so you could put your name on it and publish the bucket loads of peer-reviewed publications (which were often done sketchily because needing to produce a lot of papers results in people skipping real quality control) needed to succeed in academia. But even with that, nobody was earning millions.

“You know, maybe your attitude is killing his love of learning,” suggested Penelope sadly at Kara. She hated seeing parent’s bad attitudes wear kids down.

“You know, maybe hours of homework, constant pressure, useless testing that results in kids memorising things for a few days and then forgetting them completely, and poor teaching is killing his love of learning,” said Kara in the same tone, but with a little bit of sarcasm thrown in. Cat had to cover her mouth to try to hide the start of laughter that threatened to spill out. 

“I really ...” started Penelope, but then the bell rang and it was time to change again.

“So great to meet you. Please excuse my wife; she’s having a bad day,” said Cat quietly, earning an eye roll from her wife. Kara was about to say something else but Cat quickly pulled her away to the next teacher.

“You were not overreacting before. I see that now. I’m sorry,” admitted Kara quietly.

“Oh, I’m so glad,” whispered Cat as she eyed the history teacher and walked towards her with enthusiasm. “Hi Rachel, so nice to meet you; we’re Carter’s mums,” said Cat warmly. She had a great feeling she was going to enjoy this one.

“Oh,” started Rachel dejectedly. Kara was about to say something about that, but Cat pulled her down to sit. “Well, he could be doing better, obviously. He just doesn’t seem to want to learn, to be honest,” said Rachel bluntly.

“Well, it’s not like there are any jobs in this stuff anyway, so maybe it’s for the best,” said Kara calmly, although the slight annoyance in her voice shone through.

“Excuse me? History can teach us a lot, regardless of the career potential,” said Rachel in an offended tone.

“Can it? Because last time I checked, knowing what date Henry Tudor killed and divorced his wives didn’t actually teach me anything. But if you mean learning real lessons from history like ‘remember that time Hitler hated an entire religion and that led to a lot of bad things? let’s not repeat that mistake’ then good luck with that, because I’m assuming your class never actually brings up all the thousands of times throughout history atrocities have happened against minorities, or even women, because you’d all rather talk about how great a bunch of long-dead racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic men were,” countered Kara angrily. She was honestly still astounded at the history curriculum’s ability to only teach white male human history and then systematically ignore all the awful things white people had done which resulted in being a bunch of dates with events being skipped over completely and the use of the word ‘colonisation’ instead of ‘invasion’ to make them feel better about the history of their country. 

“Oh, millennials. So passionate. So do you think if we pushed him more, he’d do better?” asked Cat sweetly.

“Uh … yeah,” said Rachel, slightly confused and still trying to process what Kara had said. 

“Great, we’ll get right on that. Anything else?” asked Cat.

“Well, he is a bit quiet ...” started Rachel, and Kara just groaned. Cat smirked but hid it quickly. “What is your problem?” asked Rachel. She didn’t appreciate parents who didn’t care about their children. 

“I’m so glad you asked. Please tell me what is the right amount of minutes for my son to talk in class in order for him to be ‘not too quiet’? And then tell me how exactly you came up with that number and what on Earth makes you think you’re qualified to know how much he ‘should’ talk?” asked Kara, frustrated. She was honestly just wondering what the magic number was at this point.

“Well, he talks 0 minutes, so more than that would be good,” said Rachel flatly.

“So if he talked 1 minute, would that be okay?” asked Kara with obviously fake confusion.

“I … I don’t know,” dismissed Rachel.

“You don’t know? But I need to tell him how long he should talk for. Also, what exactly do you want him to say? Because if he says he doesn’t care, you’re just going to tell him he should. If he says he doesn’t understand, you’re just going to tell him he should. So maybe he doesn’t talk to people who don’t value his opinion, which is why he mostly only talks to us,” accused Kara in the loudest voice Cat had heard all day.

“I don’t think ...” started Rachel, but then the bell rang again and it was time to move on.

“Okay darling, let’s go,” said Cat, tugging her wife away.

“I want to throw them into space,” whispered Kara menacingly. Cat just chuckled as she moved to the next teacher.

“Mark, hi, Carter’s mothers” said Cat happily.

“Ah, hello. Well, obviously he’s struggling a bit. We’re doing Shakespeare now and he’s just completely disinterested. Do you know who Shakespeare is?” asked Mark and Kara got the feeling that was going to be the start of a speech she didn’t want to hear, so she cut him off.

“The pinnacle of white male mediocrity mistaken for art by a bunch of people like you,” answered Kara dryly. Cat rested her elbow on the table as she slowly brought her hand to cover her mouth nonchalantly, already sure this was going to be hilarious.

“Excuse me?” asked Mark, horrified.

“Shakespeare wrote plays for the masses. It wasn’t art. It was more like … The Big Bang Theory. Except somehow that show actually ends up being more intelligent because at least they put a few science references in there – even if it is about high school level. Shakespeare is a bunch of dick jokes you don’t understand because it’s written in Old English, and if it wasn’t written in a way you didn’t understand, I really don’t think even you could call it art. People remake Romeo and Juliet every ten years like it’s some deep love story and really … it’s two kids who decided after barely knowing each other that they were going to get married despite being from two families who hated each other. But like … that’s stupid. Just pick someone else. That’s not a real problem. And who has family wars? It’s not even remotely relatable,” explained Kara. 

Honestly, after knowing everything about what Cat had gone through, it was just insulting to call Romeo and Juliet deep. Cat had really struggled with who she loved, but no English curriculum was ever going to talk about that kind of love. No, instead it was yet another story with white cis straight people being obviously attracted to each other and yet somehow still too afraid of rejection to say anything.

“Then why has Shakespeare survived this long, Mrs. Grant?” asked Mark smugly.

“Because people like you won’t let it go! The entirety of the arts discipline acts like he’s this amazing writer and you all just keep it going … and because almost nobody understands a word of the material any more everyone just goes along with it. But it’s just this really dumb collection of stories that were highly entertaining centuries ago, but now nobody gets. So maybe he doesn’t like Shakespeare because he has taste,” finished Kara pointedly.

“Well, he doesn’t really seem to have any interest in any of the material I’ve given him,” countered Mark.

“Well, is it all the same straight white cis nonsense where they drag out a romantic relationship for the whole thing because … like rejection is hard or something … and then call it incredible? Or some man who thinks he’s deep because he has feelings … but wait for it … he hides them and … wait for it … some woman puts up with him despite getting absolutely nothing out of the relationship?” asked Kara angrily.

“We did Animal Farm,” said Mark after a moment.

“And what did he say?” asked Kara, curious.

“In class? Nothing, as per usual. But in the book review he had to write he said it was boring, lacked any real character development or action, and needed more women,” answered Mark in a somewhat amused tone. He had to admit, his review was nothing if not interesting.

“Well, he’s right,” argued Kara.

“He kind of missed the point though. It was a critique of revolutions and governments and communism, and he spent an entire paragraph about how much cooler it would have been with Zombies,” said Mark in a slightly astounded tone he couldn’t hide. 

“Who says he’s wrong? Look, he doesn’t care about revolutions or all the rest of it. It doesn’t mean anything to him. He likes shooting Zombies in games, and that’s what he wrote about. He’s a kid. I don’t know why you think this kind of material is really going to resonate to kids who have lived in a nice, stable democracy their whole lives,” countered Kara. She wasn’t sure why teachers were surprised when kids didn’t see the connection to something they knew nothing about, but at this point she was realising that teachers seemed to think kids should be putting all their time into their particular subject and hence be able to do really well at it. 

“Maybe exposing them to this stuff is what will keep us a nice, stable democracy,” suggested Mark with a smile.

“You have a really high opinion of your job, don’t you? Americans all read Animal Farm and voted for a Nazi anyway, so I don’t think that’s particularly effective,” said Kara with a sigh. She really had no patience for that line after what she’d been through. In fact, her patience for this entire thing had well and truly run out.

“Well, uneducated people might have voted ...” started Mark.

“It was white people, Mark. White people voted for him in droves. Both educated and uneducated white people, as a majority, voted in favour of Trump. Look it up,” said Kara, frustrated with that stupid rhetoric in an age where information was a Google search away. Sure, the educated group voted for him a little less, but maybe that was just the people with finance degrees thinking that trusting the economy to someone who went bankrupt six times was a terrible idea, or people who majored in political science who could see the fascism a mile away.

“Well, the youth ...” started Mark.

“Have always and will always vote predominantly left. They did that before Animal Farm was ever published, so don’t even try it. And yes, queer people also voted predominantly against him too, because shockingly they didn’t want their rights taken away. None of which has anything to do with some amazing book you think affects what people think,” said Kara tiredly. It was frustrating and scary to know that just a year ago people were saying the same thing in America. She was terrified that she was going to wake up one day in this country and find out she was in the same situation as before.

“I think you’re underestimating the power of literature. When I was in the third grade ...” started Mark.

“Oh, what is this, a Macklemore song? I don’t need your life story. Is there anything else you to tell us about our son?” asked Kara, annoyed. She didn’t feel like engaging in some ‘theoretical debate’ about why people wanted to take away her rights. It wasn’t interesting. It wasn’t fun. It was horrifying, and it was terrifying, and she just wanted to go home with her wife at this point.

“Well, he doesn’t really seem to have many friends. He’s very quiet ...” started Mark when the bell rang.

“Okay, bye,” said Kara with an eye roll as her wife guided her to the next person. 

“You’re hilarious when you get mad, you know that?” whispered Cat as she tried to get her amused smile under control. Kara just shook her head as Cat sat them down. “Francois, hi, we’re Carter’s mothers,” introduced Cat smiling.

“Oh, Carter. Listen, you really need to do more at home with him. He doesn’t understand a word I’m saying,” said Francois in a French-Canadian accent.

“Right, well, isn’t it your job to teach him? Not ours?” asked Kara aggressively. She was a little tired of this constant ‘do more at home’ line which was apparently independent of how well Carter was actually doing. 

“His level is way below the rest of the class. I couldn’t possibly dedicate enough time to him and still teach the rest of the class,” said Francois apologetically.

“That’s a bit of a flawed system, isn’t it?” asked Kara, although she was calmer than she had been before. At least this guy seemed less arrogant.

“Yes, it is. But it’s the system. So if you want him to start passing, you need to do more at home,” said Francois bluntly.

“How long is French compulsory for?” asked Kara curiously.

“A while,” answered Francois with a chuckle. Kara just sighed.

“I’m not going to force him to do anything he doesn’t want to. And honestly, I don’t think he’s going to want to spend his free time learning French verb conjugations,” said Kara simply. She knew her son. He wasn’t big on doing the compulsory material, let alone extra. 

“Well, yes, that sounds awfully boring. But maybe if you tried to get him into some French music or French TV shows? Maybe with subtitles?” suggested Francois.

“I wouldn’t count on it, but I’ll suggest it,” conceded Kara.

“You know, he’s also a bit quiet so ...” started Francois.

“Baby, I want to go home,” stated Kara, exhausted.

“Now, darling, don’t you want to hear more of his amazing advice?” asked Cat, barely concealing her laughter. 

“Baby please,” whispered Kara so desperately that Cat could only quickly tell Francois how great it was to meet him before grabbing her wife’s hand and leading her out of Carter’s school.

“You okay?” asked Cat, worried as her wife hadn’t said anything for the entire two minutes they’d been in the car for. It wasn’t like her.

“I don’t like it when people attack my family,” said Kara in lieu of an answer.

“They didn’t see it that way, you know?” asked Cat gently.

“Yeah, well … I just want to go home,” said Kara sadly. She knew Cat was right, but that wasn’t really the point. 

“Hey, I didn’t want to upset you. You don’t have to do this again, okay?” asked Cat softly.

“I just … he can’t win, can he? Even when he gets nothing but A’s in a class, they still want him to do more,” said Kara. She was surprised and annoyed at the same time, and she’d never wanted to punch someone so much in her life. And she hadn’t been expecting to feel any of this, which made it all worse.

“There’s always room for improvement,” said Cat quietly. She wasn’t trying to make her wife any more upset, but she just wanted to give another side to it.

“Yeah, like maybe in the classes he’s not getting A’s in? Do they realise he takes other classes?” asked Kara, frustrated.

“Everyone always wants more from you,” commented Cat softly.

“Does anyone care about him being happy? They just want to pile on more homework and more work, as if he doesn’t have anything better to do with his life. Who could actually live every day just doing school work?” asked Kara. She remembered watching Alex stay up till midnight doing all her school work while she went to bed a little after the sun went down. When report cards came out Eliza would always buy Kara ice cream and tell her she was doing great despite everything that had happened to her, while Alex was berated for an hour about everything she needed to do better. Kara had then watched Alex drink herself to near death at college trying to finally earn her mother’s approval, and that was not something she intended to watch happen to Carter. 

“We care about him being happy, darling. It’s not their job to, it’s ours. They just want him to do better on tests, mostly because it makes the school look better,” said Cat knowingly. She was well aware of all the ways to skew test results to convince parents to pay more for their child’s education. Her mother had sent her to the best school money could buy and all it really taught her was to look for patterns in the multiple choice answers (if there are 4 questions and you have one as A, one as B, and one as C, the other one is probably D; if you have 3 A’s in a row just guess A), memorise solutions she didn’t understand (they just copied the questions from the classes on the test), if multiple answers reference the same part-answer one of them is probably right, and when there’s wordy answers just guess the longest one.

“I just don’t like the way they act like his life revolves around their tests. He isn’t even going to use most of this rubbish, if any,” said Kara, annoyed that Carter had to waste his life on this stuff.

“I know. I love that you care about him so much, you know?” said Cat lovingly.

“He’s my son,” said Kara simply.

“Yeah, he is,” said Cat.

When they got home, Carter was still playing on his X-box. He didn’t pause the game, but he asked, “so?” fairly loudly.

“Your teachers suck,” yelled Kara, which earned a giggle from her son. 

“They told me you should do more and talk more. They seemed to think their advice was original and useful. We’re going to bed; don’t stay up too late or you’ll be tired,” said Cat gently. Carter sighed in relief at his mother’s nonchalance. She had usually given him speeches about things that needed to change, but this time Kara seemed to have gotten her to be reasonable. He was so glad they were married now. It had made his life so much better.

Cat gently pulled Kara into their bedroom and shut the door. “You okay?” asked Cat softly. 

“Yeah,” sighed Kara. Cat manoeuvred them to their bed so Kara could lie in her arms as she gently played with her hair.

“I forget how new you are to parenting sometimes,” mumbled Cat. She held her wife a little tighter to try to soothe her.

“Does everybody try to tell you how to raise your child?” asked Kara, snuggling into her wife’s embrace.

“Basically,” replied Cat with a smile. She was used to it, but Kara clearly wasn’t. 

“Is their advice always this bad?” asked Kara genuinely. She didn’t know what she’d been expecting, but that wasn’t it.

“Usually,” answered Cat honestly.

“Doesn’t it annoy you?” asked Kara, confused at her wife’s lack of reaction.

“Oh, not really. People give people their unnecessary opinion all the time; you get used to it. You’re very defensive about Carter though. Any particular reason?” inquired Cat. She always wanted to understand where her wife was coming from so she wouldn’t accidentally hit a nerve someday. 

“I guess … I get him, that’s all. He’s a lot more introverted than I am, but I understand what it’s like to have people tell you that you’re supposed to be like them just because they can’t handle difference. And coming from Krypton’s education system, let me tell you, this one was a bit hard to adjust to. He’d fit right into the Science Guild where I’m from, but here people just want him to be able to do everything, even though he’s only going to go into one field. I just … sympathise with him,” explained Kara.

“I think you’ve been good for him, you know? In hindsight, I pushed him towards things that weren’t right for him, and he resented both me forcing him to do it and the thing itself. He’s a lot happier now, and he doesn’t show it that much, but he really likes you,” said Cat lovingly, hoping her wife understood how amazing she was.

“Good. He’s a great kid,” said Kara. Cat just smiled and pulled her wife closer.

* * *

“I can’t believe that was the last one,” said Alex sadly. They had watched all six seasons of Xena, because as Astra had informed her it was a great PG show with two female leads who were absolutely in love with each other, despite some people’s assertions that it was ‘subtext’, they called each other soul mates and kissed. So it was a pretty cool canon epic love story between two women on a show which mostly focused on action and occasionally heterosexuality.

“Yeah, it was a while ago but it was actually pretty good. So I suppose next would be … Lost Girl. Look, there’s a few men who just don’t go away, but you have to take what you can get,” said Astra, already wanting to lower her girlfriend’s expectations. Even though Xena was made over a decade ago, the truth was it was probably one of the better things for queer women ever made, given that they were both the main characters and the build for their relationship was the definition of slow burn.

“It’s okay. Men are fine,” said Alex, and Astra just sighed at her girlfriend’s continued denial of her own feelings. The best she’d gotten was Alex saying she might be gay, but that was as far as she could go right now. She could admit she was probably into women, and probably not that into men, but she was still confused. They kissed a lot, but Alex was always hesitant to go further than that, which Astra didn’t mind. Astra moved to start downloading the new show but Alex gently put her hand on her leg, not actually stopping her, but indicating that she wanted her to stay.

“You okay?” asked Astra, concerned.

“Yeah baby. I think I am,” said Alex softly as she quickly moved to straddle Astra and kiss her deeply as she let her hands wander downwards.

“Hey, hey. We don’t have to do this,” said Astra gently, pulling back from her girlfriend and leaning back into the couch as far as she could. She had no desire to pressure her girlfriend into anything.

“No, I want to,” asserted Alex as she took off her shirt quickly and started kissing her girlfriend’s neck.

“Baby, I can hear your heartbeat. That’s way too fast. You’re scared,” said Astra, gently pushing her girlfriend away, wanting to stop her but being careful not to use any real force.

“No, I’m just nervous because I’ve never done this before, but ...” started Alex.

“Baby, I remember my first time. My heartbeat was not that fast. It shouldn’t be that fast,” stressed Astra gently, kissing her cheek softly.

“You have to be getting sick of waiting,” said Alex quietly. She didn’t want to disappoint Astra. She wanted to be the perfect girlfriend. She wondered if the election had gone differently if she might feel comfortable already. Maybe if Kara was still here she’d have the support she needed to figure this out. But that wasn’t what had happened. Because now she couldn’t help but panic at the thought of being gay, about all the people who would suddenly legally be allowed to fire her, or refuse her service, or hate her. She couldn’t help but think about the millions of people who had voted for Trump and Pence, and so yes, Astra was right, she was scared. And honestly, she didn’t know how to stop being scared. She didn’t know if she ever would.

“No,” dismissed Astra simply as she leaned down to pick up Alex’s shirt and put it back on her girlfriend, who after a few seconds relented and put her arms up so she could put it on. “I wish you would believe me when I said that didn’t have to do anything you didn’t want to do to keep me.”

“And that’s really nice ...” started Alex.

“That’s not nice, sweetheart; that’s pretty basic,” interjected Astra. She was rather concerned by her girlfriend’s absurdly low standards. 

“Okay, well, I appreciate it regardless. But you can’t tell me you don’t want more,” said Alex, deciding that they really should talk about this, despite both of their preferences for silence. She remembered Astra’s advances when she’d rescued her. She knew she wanted her. And Alex couldn’t help but feel compelled to do what the people she loved wanted.

“If you wanted to, sure, I wouldn’t push you away. But you don’t. So no, I don’t want more than this,” answered Astra gently. She didn’t know why her girlfriend seemed so convinced that she’d rather see her naked than comfortable, but she was going to keep telling her that she actually cared about her until she believed her.

“Okay, but you can’t tell me you wouldn’t prefer it if I was ready,” stressed Alex. Astra was being very understanding about this, but she couldn’t help but feel like she was letting her down or something.

“I mean … I guess. But I’d prefer it more if you worked a less dangerous job; I doubt you intend to change your career based on that,” countered Astra. She knew Alex loved her job, and she’d never seriously want her to do something else, but she did always want her to be safe.

“Yeah, but we’re in a relationship and I … I mean,” started Alex, but she didn’t really know what more to say.

“You think you have to?” offered Astra. Alex nodded. “That’s dumb. You don’t have to. And you absolutely shouldn’t do anything you don’t want to do. And if someone wants you to do things you don’t want to do, you should run away from them as fast as you can, because they are not worth having in your life.”

“Okay,” sighed Alex, tucking her head into Astra’s neck as Astra held her gently. Astra got the feeling Alex needed some affection more than she wanted to watch another show, so she just stayed there, holding her girlfriend gently as Alex nuzzled into her lovingly. 

Astra smiled as she heard her girlfriend’s heartbeat come right down a few minutes later.

* * *

“Oh Rao. No!” whined Alura as she felt her watch vibrate in the morning. It was dark. It was cold. She didn’t want to get out of bed for a number of reasons, one of whom she had her arm around and was still sleeping soundly. She spent a minute talking herself into leaving the nice warm bed, and then sighed as she got up – and then quickly ran towards the nice hot shower.

Alura underestimated how much slower she’d fly on an empty stomach and so early in the morning, so she arrived on campus with only ten minutes to find where she was supposed to go. The campus was huge and the maps were poor, but with the help of her smart phone she managed to navigate to the room with a whole minute to spare.

She realised she hadn’t needed to rush ten minutes into the lecture. She realised she hadn’t needed to get out of bed twenty minutes in, when they were still talking about the outline of the course. By the end, all they’d gone over was one math formula she already knew. 

She decided to use the start of her ridiculously long break to eat something. She got some weird looks for ordering five serves, but she didn’t particularly care – partly because she was very hungry, and partly because who cares what they think? She then had nothing real to do so she just watched You Tube videos in a quiet corner of the campus it took her two hours to find.

She should’ve guessed the next lecture wasn’t actually going to be useful either, but somehow she didn’t. Maybe she was tired. She got another hour of course outline and policies nobody cared about, and then the formula V = I x R. She didn’t know what she’d been expecting, but basic multiplication wasn’t it.

She was just relieved when it was over though. She raced home to see Lucy, and was very happy when she saw Lucy had made a huge bowl of rice, meat and vegetables. “Oh Rao, real food,” said Alura in awe as she grabbed a spoon and just started eating from the gigantic bowl. Options at university were a bit limited, as half the outlets seemed to just serve coffee. Also, the portion sizes were way too small for a Kryptonian. Besides, she wasn’t her daughter. She didn’t like greasy food, although she was really starting to wish she did, and a lot of things tasted either too salty or too acidic to her.

“So how was your first day?” asked Lucy with a hint of concern, wondering how her girlfriend was going to survive years of this.

“Um … basic,” replied Alura between mouthfuls.

“Well, it was the first day of first year,” chuckled Lucy. She realised Alura might’ve been used to higher standards, but surely everyone started out basic.

“So it gets more advanced?” asked Alura hopefully.

“Yeah baby, it gets a lot more advanced,” confirmed Lucy with a grin.

“Okay, good. I don’t know, it was a bit boring to be honest,” admitted Alura. That was one hell of an understatement, but she was trying to be positive for her first day.

“Well, that’s the education system for you. It’s very boring, and then there’s assessment due and it’s very stressful, and then it goes back to being boring again,” explained Lucy.

“That’s a dumb system,” commented Alura. Sometimes she really hated it here. She knew Krypton was gone and she couldn’t go back but it was so annoying to have to use worse things than she’d used as a child.

“Oh, just you wait,” said Lucy ominously. 

“Fantastic,” replied Alura dryly. “How was your day?” asked Alura after a moment.

“Oh, fine. We’re putting Astra back in the field tomorrow,” said Lucy.

“You know … what she went through in that place was a lot more traumatising than what I went through,” said Alura vaguely. It wasn’t her place to tell anyone what had happened to her sister; that was her story which she could choose to tell and not tell.

“Look, she passed the psych eval. The doc says she’s good to go,” said Lucy despite knowing that wouldn’t change her girlfriend’s concerns over her sister.

“My sister has a bad habit of not reaching out when she needs help. And not telling anyone about … anything, actually. I just … be prepared for her not being okay,” warned Alura. She didn’t want her girlfriend to be caught off-guard.

“Have you two even talked since you got out of that place? I know you’re worried about her … maybe you should talk?” suggested Lucy.

“My sister tolerated my presence while we were locked up but … I know she still resents what I did to her. And I don’t blame her for that. I’m certainly not going to go over there and tell her that she should forgive me, or talk to me. She knows where I stand. If she ever wants to talk to me, she’ll reach out,” said Alura.

“Because she’s so good at that,” said Lucy dryly.

“Maybe not. But I’m not going to go to her unless I know she wants me there. I’ve done enough damage,” said Alura darkly. She regretted so many things, but she didn’t expect forgiveness from anyone. She’d inflicted so much pain, and she wasn’t going to tell somebody that they had to get over it because she wished she hadn’t done it now. She had done it, and she had to live with those consequences as much as the people she’d hurt.

* * *

“Are you sure about this?” asked Alex as she stopped in front of their door. 

“Why wouldn’t I be sure?” asked Astra, confused.

“Because the only reason you passed your psych test was because you lied and because you’re being medicated – which you’re not telling them. What happens if out in the field the meds aren’t enough and you have a panic attack?” asked Alex, terrified her girlfriend wasn’t going to come home.

“Sweetheart, you said it yourself. I can’t tell them the truth. So we just have to hope everything turns out okay,” said Astra. Alex nodded but she didn’t move from in front of the door. “You know you can’t actually stop me from leaving the house, right?” joked Astra as she thought about her brave human trying to hold her back.

“Baby I’m scared,” admitted Alex softly, staring at the ground. Astra embraced her and kissed the top of her head a few times.

“Sweetie, it’ll be okay. I hate to pull rank, but I am a General. Or was, I guess. And I survived a prison world full of criminals, as well as a human-made prison, so I think this is going to be a walk in the park,” promised Astra reassuringly. 

“Okay. Okay,” said Alex, mostly to herself, as she reluctantly pulled out of Astra’s embrace and opened the door.

* * *

“Do you want to tell me what actually happened?” asked Alex when they got home. She was vaguely annoyed, but also happy her girlfriend was still okay.

“I don’t know what you mean. You sent me to look for an alien, I couldn’t find him, we went home,” responded Astra innocently.

“Right, because your X-ray vision somehow couldn’t spot the guy?” asked Alex, not buying it for a second.

“I guess he’d left the area by the time we arrived,” hypothesised Astra. Alex just glared at her, unamused.

“Except there’s no way that’s true, because we were guarding the only exit,” said Alex angrily. She really didn’t appreciate being lied to by her girlfriend.

“Well I guess there was another one you didn’t find!” yelled Astra. Alex took a breath and tried to calm down while she grabbed Astra’s hand.

“Okay, baby, if you don’t want to tell me, don’t. I don’t know what more I could possibly do to earn your trust but ...” started Alex.

“No, sweetie, it’s not about trust. I … it’s better if you don’t know,” said Astra, a lot more calmly. She couldn’t bear the hurt look on her girlfriend’s face; she had to give her something.

“Why is better if I don’t know exactly? Can you tell me that much?” implored Alex. She didn’t like not knowing. That’s what she liked about science. There were facts, and everything was very clear.

“It’s just … it would put you in a bad position. You have a personal relationship with me, and you have responsibilities for your job,” explained Astra vaguely.

“You let him go,” said Alex with a smile. She’d worked it out. She knew she was right the moment she said it and Astra’s eyes went wide.

“I … what if I did?” asked Astra, deciding to not lie to her girlfriend this time.

“I would ask why you let the criminal go,” said Alex calmly, ready to hear her girlfriend out since she was sure there was a good explanation.

“He wasn’t much of a criminal. He was a poor boy who stole food to eat. And because he’s an alien, you want to lock him up for the rest of his life? I don’t agree with that,” said Astra simply. She had always had a big heart, which Alex adored, but she wasn’t sure her girlfriend had really thought this through. 

“I see. And how long do you think it’s going to take the DEO to figure out you’re tanking these missions?” asked Alex softly, trying to communicate to her girlfriend that she was on her side as she squeezed her hand gently.

“I was kind of hoping there would be actual bad criminals next time so it wouldn’t look like a pattern,” admitted Astra.

“Well, maybe, maybe not. But there aren’t going to be enough of what you deem bad criminals for them not to notice. And if they notice, they’ll lock you up,” warned Alex. She definitely got the impression Astra hadn’t thought this through.

“So be it,” said Astra simply.

“What?” yelled Alex.

“I will not hurt people because they happen to be a different species to you, or because they’ve made a few mistakes. And if that means I get locked up, so be it,” explained Astra calmly. 

“Baby please, I can’t do this without you. I need you,” pleaded Alex softly. Astra cupped her girlfriend’s face and kissed her deeply before pulling away.

“Sweetie, you mean quite a lot to me. But I’m not going to punish other people to help you,” said Astra gently.

“The more things change, the more they stay the same, huh? You know we’re right back to where we started. We’re on opposite sides and you’re going against the government for what you think is right,” mused Alex, vaguely amused and a little annoyed.

“Are we on opposite sides? I don’t think you agree with the DEO’s new mission to target any alien who so much as gets a parking ticket any more than I do,” countered Astra. She knew her girlfriend was better than a lot of the other agents in the DEO who just wanted to shoot aliens. She wouldn’t be with her if she wasn’t.

“We have to take orders from the new President. It’s the law,” defended Alex. She didn’t like it, but it was true. He’d won. He was in charge now. And if he said that all alien criminals had to be stopped, they had to comply.

“Well, he’s a bad President, and it’s a bad law. Maybe it’s time to do what’s right instead of what’s lawful,” countered Astra. She had seen too many people choose to follow orders instead of follow what’s right. They said they were still ‘good people’ who ‘had to’, but there were real good people who chose to resist. She was proud to be one of them on Krypton, although admittedly she could have done certain things better. 

“You are never going to be able to win against the American government,” argued Alex. She knew the kind of power the government had. They had guns, bombs, tanks, planes, ships, and an army. It wasn’t anything a group of civilians could do anything about. 

“I suppose it depends on your idea of winning. A man is free who otherwise wouldn’t be. That matters to me. I imagine it matters a great deal to him too. I believe in having a positive impact, even if that impact isn’t as big as you’d like,” countered Astra. She wasn’t going to do nothing just because she couldn’t take down the entire government.

“And you’re happy to spend the rest of your life in a cage?” asked Alex quietly, remembering the last time she had to watch her girlfriend suffer.

“I don’t know about happy. But I just can’t do nothing. Or maybe I just can’t know something is wrong and do it anyway. Well, I guess I could, but I choose not to,” said Astra as Alex sighed.

“We can talk about this tomorrow. It’s late; let’s go to bed,” suggested Alex. Astra was relieved they could stop talking and get some sleep. She followed Alex into the bedroom as they quickly got changed and then headed under the warm sheets. Astra moved further towards the edge than she usually did since she wasn’t sure Alex wanted to cuddle tonight, but Alex immediately moved towards her and lay as close as possible. Astra quickly put her arm around her and pulled her a little closer, earning a contented sigh from her girlfriend.

“I love you,” said Astra softly. She tensed, wondering if she’d said it too soon, or in the wrong moment, but thanks to her Kryptonian eyes she could make out Alex’s smile.

“I love you too. I just don’t want to lose you, you know?” said Alex, intertwining her hand with her girlfriend’s. 

“I do. But you can’t hurt other people to make yourself happy. Well, I could, but I won’t,” said Astra. She didn’t want to argue, but she wouldn’t back down. 

“I know. I admire that about you, I really do. But aliens are going to be targeted with or without your help, and all you’re going to do is get yourself locked up as well. And I’m not looking to argue about it right now I just … want you to know how I feel,” said Alex, suddenly worried that time was running out to tell her girlfriend everything she wanted to say. 

“Okay,” said Astra quietly as she finally closed her eyes. She didn’t want to argue either.

* * *

“Hey baby,” said Cat as she watched her wife finally wake up around midday. She had been typing on her laptop, but her focus instantly shifted to the woman beside her as she finally moved. 

“What … time?” asked Kara, still very sleepy and confused.

"It’s a little after 12,” answered Cat smiling, running her fingers through her wife’s hair tenderly.

“Just five more minutes,” whispered Kara as she closed her eyes again. Cat shook her head slightly as she went back to her document. “You called me baby,” said Kara a few seconds later, opening her eyes in confusion.

“Does that bother you?” asked Cat genuinely.

“No, of course not. But you’ve never used that before,” answered Kara.

“Well, I figured if I was going to be married to a millennial, I may as well update my vocabulary a little. Besides, I like it when you say it,” explained Cat. If she was being entirely honest, she had resisted the word because it was unequivocally soft and romantic, which were two things she had fought ever being seen as. But now she didn’t feel like she had to any more, and she felt so much better.

“Well, I’m glad to know I’ve changed you for the better,” joked Kara.

“Oh, you have baby. You have,” said Cat seriously. “Although you do realise you are going to have to start going back to work and getting up at reasonable times, right?” asked Cat softly. She’d been waiting for a good time to bring that up; now seemed right.

“Already?” asked Kara with those puppy dog eyes Cat had a lot of trouble resisting.

“Baby, it’s been months. I know you were very … sad … about everything that happened, but I think you’re okay now. Am I wrong?” asked Cat softly, not wanting to push her wife into anything she wasn’t ready for.

“No, I guess you’re not. It’s just been so much change, you know? And I’m not so good with change,” admitted Kara.

“I know. But sometimes you have to do things that make you a little uncomfortable to make things better in the long run,” said Cat. She knew how scared she’d been to soften around anyone, but opening up to her wife had been the best decision of her life. She didn’t want Kara to miss out on good things because she was a little nervous.

“Speaking of being uncomfortable, I believe you promised me a movie a while back,” said Kara, smiling.

“Yes, I suppose I did. We can go now if you want,” said Cat reluctantly as she watched her wife race out of bed, change into some casual clothes and pull her out the door.

“Carter! Want to go to the movies?” asked Kara.

“Sure,” said Carter nonchalantly.

* * *

“Okay you can’t tell me you didn’t like Ghostbusters. Kevin was hilarious,” said Kara when they had come home and were cuddled up in bed. 

“I mean … sure, it was funny. And it was nice to see women in real roles. But it’s still just not my kind of movie. It didn’t mean anything real. I like movies that make me think. I like things with aliens as a metaphor for race that bring up real issues – unlike those stupid movies where the aliens are either human-like heroes who just punch things or look substantially different and are killed without thought. I like movies that bring up police brutality or racial profiling or ...” started Cat.

“Yeah, baby, I know. But here’s my issue with those movies – because I’ve watched quite a few. They’re always full of straight white men. They use metaphors like aliens so they can talk about race with almost nothing but white people, and even with that metaphor they still dance around the point. They make pretend interracial couples that have to face pretend stigma, instead of using real interracial actors that would actually break some of the stigma. If they bring up sexuality or gender, they do it for like ten seconds and it’s usually only as a concept – like ‘oh that’s fine here, but we won’t give you any representation’,” said Kara.

“Okay, I admit they could be done better. But that doesn’t help me find two hours of punching and random conversations that don’t mean anything interesting,” countered Cat lightly.

“Don’t you like the idea of something being escapism though? Of not reminding you of all the horrible things out there?” asked Kara.

“Hmm … no, not really. I don’t want to forget real problems, I want to make the real problems better. And I don’t think I could forget, even if I wanted to. Besides, me being bored only makes me think about reality more, because I’m barely paying attention to the movie,” answered Cat. She’d sat few quite a few very boring movies with quite a few boring men, and she had no desire to repeat either of those mistakes.

“Okay, okay, you find it boring. Even comedies?” asked Kara.

“I’ve never found the jokes all that entertaining. Yes, ‘graphics design is my passion’ was pretty good, but most movies are just insulting groups of people and laughing, or incredibly juvenile. And they always throw in some boring plot so there’s not even that many jokes. I suppose if there was something that was consistently funny for an hour, I’d like it. But I’m yet to see anything that meets that standard,” responded Cat honestly.

“And romance?” inquired Kara.

“You’re all the romance I need,” said Cat tenderly, kissing the top of her head gently.

“Okay, that’s very sweet, but really,” said Kara, still blushing.

“Oh, I don’t know. The straight ones are always so stupid. The men are awful and the women are amazing and incredibly attractive but settle for them for some reason and … just … no. And the gay ones are often very poor quality all round, and the few decent ones are … it’s nice to see something positive, but that doesn’t really matter to me now that I have you, and I know I can find someone to be happy with. So they’re okay but I’m not that attached to them either,” answered Cat.

“Horror movies?” tried Kara.

“Why would anyone want more fear in their lives? I’ve never understood that genre,” responded Cat with that face she got whenever Kara brought up ‘one of those millennial things’ as Cat called them.

“Thrillers?” asked Kara.

“Never really that thrilling. Am I supposed to care whether the fictional people survive or not? Because I don’t,” answered Cat.

“Okay, I give up,” said Kara, admitting defeat as she put her hands up in mock surrender.

“We just like different things. There’s nothing wrong with that. Nobody is hurting anyone. Nobody needs to change,” said Cat as she took one of Kara’s hands and put them in her own. Kara put her other hand down and smiled.

“Yeah, you’re right baby. I love you,” said Kara softly, pulling her wife a little closer.

* * *

“Thank you for helping us out,” said the Detective professionally as she glanced at Astra’s strange eyes, and then tried very hard to look elsewhere as to not appear rude. 

“Don’t mention it. We all want to get this killer off the streets,” dismissed Astra. She was glad she’d been given a case she could actually get behind, and this human didn’t seem so bad. She reminded her a little of Alex; she had a tough exterior, but she really did care about people. 

“Yeah, whoever is doing this is leaving one hell of a body count. We’re trying to avoid panicking people, but burning buildings are pretty hard to cover up. Can you … see anything … that would help?” asked Maggie.

“Well, I think you’re right to think it’s an alien doing this. The way these bodies are burnt … fire from a lighter wouldn’t do that. So either it’s a very creative human, which is unlikely, or it’s someone with heat powers,” deduced Astra from her X-ray vision.

“Any idea where we could find people like that?” asked Maggie hopefully.

“Well, in the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you I am ‘people like that’,” said Astra with a hint of nervousness, unsure if she was about to be arrested.

“Oh, I … obviously I’m sure it wasn’t you. But I mean … would you happen to have an alibi for last night?” asked Maggie reluctantly. She wanted to establish trust and not be one of those cops who harassed aliens for everything, but she really had to ask on this one.

“I was with my girlfriend,” answered Astra hesitantly after a few seconds. She wasn’t sure how Maggie was going to react to that one either.

“Oh, cool … I have a girlfriend too,” said Maggie with a smile. It was always nice to meet somebody like you.

“Oh … cool,” said Astra, not really sure what else to say. Maggie smiled brighter than she had all day though; she was relieved to be around someone who wouldn’t make any stupid comments. “And to answer your question, there are a few people I know who could’ve done this. I wouldn’t recommend you being with me when I go talk to them though,” said Astra.

“Okay, well I have my own lead, so maybe I’ll go follow that up and you do your thing and we can meet up later?” suggested Maggie.

“Sounds good,” said Astra as she turned around and walked towards the last place she’d seen her former friends.

* * *

Five hours later Astra texted Maggie that she didn’t have any luck and asked if any of her leads panned out. She waited three hours without a response before she got concerned enough to go to the precinct and found out that Maggie hadn’t been back there all day. 

Astra called Vasquez to have her trace Maggie’s phone and send her the address. Two minutes later she was in some warehouse looking at the poor woman tied up, so she instantly moved to rescue her. “It’s a trap,” breathed Maggie as she struggled to untie the ropes herself.

“I figured,” muttered Astra back as she easily snapped the rope in pieces and quickly held Maggie firmly so she wouldn’t fall. She put her down gently as a woman came out of the shadows.

“So, one of my own kind? How can you stand with them?” asked the woman in disgust.

“Killing unarmed civilians isn’t as brave as you think it is. It doesn’t accomplish anything, and it just gives the extremists on the other side more ammunition to hate us,” answered Astra calmly, trying to get the woman to see reason.

“They’re going to hate us no matter how good we are to them. We may as well inflict some damage. Don’t you want to fight back?” asked the woman angrily.

“Yes, but killing a few humans – some or all of which could be on our side for all you know – doesn’t do anything,” responded Astra.

“Maybe not. But at least I can say I did something. At least I can say I’m not a collaborator,” said the woman with venom.

“No, you’re not. But you are a murderer, so there’s that. Also, you could’ve spent your time actually helping people – like just talking to them, showing them around, helping them adjust – but instead you just wanted to hurt people. And not the police officers who target us, not the politicians who encourage people to hate us, but a bunch of easy, vulnerable targets who couldn’t fight back,” said Astra with her own venom. She had spent enough of her time with murderers; she had no real sympathy for them.

“You know what? I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree,” said the woman as fire shot from her eyes. Astra grabbed Maggie and sped her behind a barrier where she’d be safe. She was incredibly disoriented for a second but then she relaxed into Astra’s grip. 

“Go get her,” encouraged Maggie as she handed Astra her gun, deciding she wasn’t able to really participate in this fight.

“Stay safe,” whispered Astra as she gratefully took the weapon and sped towards the assailant. Maggie took her advice and stayed out of the line of fire before she heard two gun shots. She immediately peeked over the barrier to see Astra holding her gun and the woman dead on the floor. 

Maggie got up and walked over to Astra and took her gun while Astra held her body still and relaxed her hold just enough to let Maggie take the gun. “Hey, you had to do it, okay?” asked Maggie softly, sensing Astra’s distress. 

“I just … don’t like killing,” said Astra quietly, dropping her arms beside her body limply. She hated killing, actually. She knew what it was like to be convinced of something wrong, and she was certainly glad that people had given her the chance to change. But she also knew that sometimes that just wasn’t an option, and you had to save everyone you could, even if it meant killing someone.

“I’m going to call this in, and then maybe we could have a drink or something?” suggested Maggie gently, not wanting to push, but hoping Astra would let her help.

“Um … yeah, okay,” agreed Astra. She decided not to go into the fact that alcohol didn’t affect her because she liked the idea of Maggie’s company. She thought it might be nice to have a friend here, and Maggie seemed like a good person.

* * *

“It’s so weird, you know? I didn’t think it would be like this,” said Lucy as she lay her head in Alura’s lap with her body resting comfortable on the couch.

“What do you mean?” asked Alura curiously.

“I mean … I didn’t think people who laughed at the idea of Trump and swore up and down America could never be that intolerant would be cheering him on a year later. I didn’t think when I heard Hitler wrote that you lie to people again and again until they believe it’s the truth that it would work – especially when we have internet access and easily accessible proof of the truth. I thought there’d be more screaming and panicking; I didn’t think we’d all just go to work tomorrow and everybody would act like it’s just another day,” said Lucy, staring at images of her President doing yet another thing that should be outrageous, but was somehow fine. She still didn’t understand how the news only dedicated a few minutes to this, and then it was on to sports and weather and other random stories. As if everything was normal, as if nobody was worried (although as she looked at the straight cis white men on her screen she knew why they weren’t worried), and it just became so unbelievably apparent that nobody was really going to do anything about him. People talked about impeaching him, but honestly, if he hadn’t been impeached by this point, she highly doubted the Republicans were suddenly going to be decent people and impeach him now. 

“Well, we read about those kinds of people in history class, so I can’t say I’m that thrown by it. Also, I had to meet quite a few fascist leaders on Krypton because we were allies,” said Alura softly. She had held meetings with people she knew were awful – they fired anybody in the government who ever spoke out against them, they put restrictions on the internet to try to limit people’s ability to get decent information and communicate their unhappiness, they acted like there was all this crime (claimed to be only perpetrated by minorities) and used that as a justification for their brutal methods. 

“Yeah, well in our history class they told us about how great the white people who invaded this land were and made us memorise a lot of dates. And just out of curiosity … why didn’t you try to fight the fascists? I thought other countries would come to our defence or something,” said Lucy dejectedly. She knew fascist leaders existed in the world and nobody came to save the people there but … it was suddenly very real. That they were real people and the whole world just let them suffer. North Korea was just a dumb meme to most people, and she suddenly wondered if they were going to be viewed the same as that. A hilarious joke for people in nice, safe countries to sit back and laugh about as they sat by and did nothing.

“Because they are a sovereign state; you can’t go around invading other countries because you wish they operated differently. Well, obviously America has taken that approach for a while, but I like to think you realise that the trillions you spend on warfare haven’t accomplished very much for you. And when you do that you burn bridges. Most people want trade rather than a war,” explained Alura calmly. She was well aware that America had had a hand in putting leaders into countries all over Latin America and the Middle East, but of course they were all absolutely stunned when Russia suddenly intervened in their electoral process. However, the reality was that most countries weren’t that interested in controlling other countries.

“Yeah, I guess. But like … just a year ago everyone was so on board with fighting Nazis. And now suddenly it’s ‘don’t fight hate with hate’ - which makes no sense because wanting to fight someone who wants to get rid of whole groups of people based on arbitrary identifiers isn’t hate, it’s heroism – and more importantly, I didn’t think my friends would support them. Or my family. I didn’t think people would suddenly start calling my anti-Nazi views political … because since when is it debatable that Nazis are bad? Since when is saying ‘no religious group should be banned from a country’ controversial? Since when is saying ‘the man who has disrespected women in the worst ways possible does not deserve my respect just because you elected him’ anti-American; I thought we had freedom of speech here,” said Lucy angrily. She still couldn’t really believed this was happening. It was all so … dystopian. She had never thought that people could be like this, even though she knew it had happened in the past. She had somehow thought that people had learned, but she should’ve known better. People had been doing the same thing for the entirety of human history, and she didn’t know why she thought people were magically better now. Religious and ethnic groups had been expelled from various countries countless times, and then those countries had adopted a more progressive policy, and then they had reverted to the same hatred. 

“Sweetie, the reality is people adapt to the circumstance. And when the hate isn’t directed at you, it’s very easy to not care very much,” said Alura knowingly. She’d been to Daxam once and seen people choose to use people as slave labour rather than treat them as equals. And she understood it, really. It was easier. It was cheaper. Everyone else was going along with it. And she’d seen people who didn’t really like it go along with it too because they didn’t want the fight. They had had the nerve to think that they were ‘better’ for thinking that way, but she had never seen how doing nothing in the face of something you knew was wrong in any way made you ‘better’. 

“Yeah, well … this wasn’t what I thought my country was,” admitted Lucy bitterly. This country was never really the bastion of freedom it promised to be – given that black people weren’t really free to walk on the damn street without being scared – but this was getting terrifying fast. Apart from the fact that Trump’s picks for everything were rich and clueless, his policies were getting worse by the day. Stopping scientists from telling people science about climate change? Effectively banning Muslims from certain countries? Ripping health insurance away from people? It wasn’t that she didn’t know he was going to do all those things; but it was somehow so much more horrific to see it happen.

“Your country is made up of people just like everyone else. You might see something happen in a different country and think ‘that could never happen here’ but that’s silly. Of course it could. Your country isn’t magically immune to bigotry, and if you think it is then you’re just seeing what you want to see and probably just listening to what the big media outlets are telling you, but if you talk with one whole Muslim, or someone from like a hundred other groups, about it I guarantee you they will tell you all about how prejudiced your country already is – so long as they feel safe enough to tell you. My point is … nothing has really changed. You’re just seeing it now,” countered Alura sombrely. She had watched planets full of people slowly be convinced that some group was a threat, and so many people were still surprised when one day enough people reacted to that perceived threat by implementing a regime that promised to use strong measures – which they did, although naturally they used them on everyone who ever opposed them.

“What about the protests? Do you think they’ll do something?” asked Lucy genuinely. She had the feeling her girlfriend knew what she was talking about with this stuff, so if she said it would help, she was probably right.

“Oh, no. Protests in general are almost never effective. And if they are, it requires a real democracy, not a fascist leader who wants to silence everyone who disagrees with him. Besides, a majority of white women voted for him. And they’ll do it again next election, because they’ll be scared of the Muslims, or the Mexicans, or whatever enemy he invents. And he knows that. At the end of the day, they aren’t a threat. They’ll go back to work, they’ll follow his laws and they won’t actually protect anyone who’s hurt by them,” answered Alura honestly. She wasn’t entirely sure what people thought they were proving by holding signs and walking in the street, but it certainly wasn’t that they would provide a viable resistance against the government. The second there was a real threat of consequences for going against Trump, they’d all get in line. And she understood that. It was scary, and they had people who needed them, and what could they really do against an army anyway? But it didn’t change the fact that most, if not all of them, would stand by as aliens and other minorities were inevitably persecuted.

“Please tell me you think he’ll lose the next election though. I don’t know how long I can do this for,” pleaded Lucy. He’d barely gotten into office and every day she got up, refreshed the news on her phone and was somehow even more horrified than the day before. Part of her wondered if it would be better to just stop looking, if maybe she could just ignore it all and feel okay, but she knew she had to know. She had to know for Alura, and all the other people who were going to be targeted by this administration. She knew she probably wouldn’t be able to do much to help, but she had to at least know what was happening.

“Oh, honey. He’s threatening the press left and right which means soon enough they’ll be publishing whatever he tells them to. He has repeatedly questioned the integrity of the voting system by saying he’ll have to wait and see if he feels like accepting the democracy – and that was before he even got elected once. So good luck with a fair election. And don’t even get me started on the voter restriction nonsense that consistently helps Republicans. He’s looking to increase the police and military presence, which will likely soon be used to target people more than ever before. He knows the voting demographics; so long as he can lock up or deport everyone who isn’t white he’ll win in a landslide. And he just needs a basic majority. So … I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” said Alura gently. She didn’t want her girlfriend to have false hope. This wasn’t going to go away. She wasn’t even sure he’d leave after the supposed maximum two terms, but even if he did, that didn’t mean some other Nazi wouldn’t take his place. 

“You’re so calm about this,” pointed out Lucy with confusion. She didn’t understand how her alien girlfriend could be so soft and calm having this conversation. 

“Yes, well … I did get tortured for a year. By comparison, this is an improvement,” said Alura lightly.

“You never talk about it. About what happened,” said Lucy quietly. She hated to think her girlfriend felt like she couldn’t talk about the bad things with her. She was here to support her, and not just when everything was going great.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” said Alura simply.

“Okay. But if you ever do ...” started Lucy.

“I know,” interrupted Alura gently. She knew her girlfriend would be there for her, but she had no desire to talk about the pain she’d been in. She didn’t need to anyway. She was free and she was fine, and the only thing she was worried about was Trump’s next Executive Order.

* * *

Maggie took Astra to an alien bar where she could get alcohol which affected her. Of course, Astra wasn’t big on the idea of letting her defences down with someone she barely knew, so she only had one drink and then she just switched to water. Maggie didn’t care at all though. Astra might not have been excessively comfortable around her, but she was a nice change of pace. They talked about where they came from and how they’d made it here – Astra had given her the short version by just mentioning she was from Krypton which exploded and that she escaped to Earth – and by the end of the night they found that they were fairly compatible, so Maggie said she’d like to be friends and Astra grinned and said she’d like that too.

* * *

Astra arrived home to find Alex a little more concerned than she’d expected. “WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?” asked Alex the second she opened the door.

“Out,” answered Astra defensively. She was allowed to go wherever she wanted; she wasn’t a prisoner.

“And you didn’t think to text me? To tell me you’d be home late? To tell me you were alive?” yelled Alex in a slightly lower volume than before. She was relieved her girlfriend was still in one piece, but she was still angry.

“I … I realise now that I should’ve,” admitted Astra, seeing her girlfriend’s concern.

“Right, well I’m glad you realise that now. I’m going to take a nice long shower to try to relax a little and get my heart rate down after worrying you were dead for four hours,” said Alex, clearly annoyed.

“I’m sorry,” said Astra softly. She never wanted to hurt Alex. It just hadn’t occurred to her to text.

“Yeah, just … will you text me next time?” asked Alex, trying to calm down.

“Yes,” promised Astra.

“Thanks,” conceded Alex as she headed to the bathroom.

* * *

When Alex got out of the shower she was a lot calmer, but only slightly less annoyed. Astra was safe, but she still couldn’t help but be annoyed that Astra hadn’t let her know she was okay. She entered the bedroom to find Astra sitting up in their bed reading something her phone, although when she noticed Alex she quickly put her phone away. “Hey baby,” said Astra softly. 

“Hey,” said Alex with almost no softness as she got into bed and turned the light off. Astra noticed Alex was lying on the bed as far away from her as possible, so she moved closer to the edge herself to give her girlfriend some space.

* * *

Alex and Astra woke up to the sound of that awful beeping that Astra hated more with each passing day. Alex turned it off after listening to Astra’s annoyed groans and then came back to bed and lay as close to her girlfriend as she could get. Astra immediately put her arm around her and felt Alex snuggle in closer. “Hey, I’m sorry if I overreacted last night,” said Alex softly.

“No, you didn’t. We do dangerous jobs and there’s a real probability of something happening. I just didn’t think. I’m sorry,” said Astra softly.

“It’s okay. I was just really emotional last night, but I’m okay now,” promised Alex. All her emotions had drained away now, and she was just happy to have her girlfriend home safe.

“Yeah? We’re okay?” asked Astra gently, not wanting her girlfriend to bottle anything up. If there was still an issue, she wanted to know.

“Yeah,” answered Alex easily as she leaned in to kiss her girlfriend, which was eagerly reciprocated. 

“I’m just not used to people worrying about me. Non never cared if I wasn’t home. Rao knows he didn’t come home quite a few nights,” explained Astra.

“You don’t talk about him. Like … ever,” said Alex softly. She didn’t want to push her girlfriend into saying anything she wasn’t ready to say; she just wanted to bring it up.

“There’s not really anything to say,” said Astra simply.

“I think there’s quite a bit to say about your marriage that lasted decades, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” said Alex calmly.

“Oh … I don’t know what you want to know. He wasn’t the worst husband in the world, but he wasn’t ideal. He cheated. A lot. He was loyal in every other way though, and I didn’t really mind. He wasn’t that good in bed either. We were … friendly. Neither of us was very warm or open, and that never changed. We always had a certain amount of affection for each other though,” said Astra.

“Just to be clear, you understand I’d mind quite a lot if you cheated on me, right?” asked Alex. She figured it was better to be too clear than to walk in on her girlfriend with someone else. 

“Yes, sweetheart. And I wouldn’t do that to you. My relationship with you is completely different to him. He wasn’t very attached to me, and I wasn’t looking to get attached to him. Our relationship was about a few things, but emotional intimacy certainly wasn’t one of them,” answered Astra softly, pulling her girlfriend a little closer and kissing her again.

“And you understand I’d never cheat on you either right? That guy was an idiot for getting to marry you and not truly appreciating you,” said Alex, amazed at how anyone could not totally love this woman.

“Yes, I do. You should get up,” said Astra softly. She was glad that they’d talked things out, but she didn’t want to be late.

“You get up,” responded Alex playfully, cuddling more into Astra. Astra sighed and got up first for a change after disentangling from her girlfriend who was already drifting off again, relaxed now that they’d talked everything out.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to put Maggie in there because she just doesn't get enough screen time, so I thought I'd see how hard it was to put her in the story. Conclusion: not at all, it's really easy, just bring her along to all the missions, she's literally a cop it makes perfect sense. Also: we could always see her not at work, and/or having long (i.e. more than 1 minute) scenes with Alex, but whatever.

“Sorry, did you say your name was Maggie? Would you by any chance be the Maggie who met my girlfriend a month ago?” asked Alex. She had been about to say ‘this is our jurisdiction, go away’ - or words to that effect – but then she’d processed the name she’d been given. 

“Would your girlfriend be Astra?” asked Maggie. Alex nodded proudly. “Then yes, that would be me,” answered Maggie cautiously. She knew Astra talked about Alex like she was the most amazing thing on Earth, but that was because they were dating. She wasn’t sure if Alex was going to be particularly friendly towards her, although she was trying to maintain her confident appearance. 

“Wow, she didn’t mention you were so ...” started Alex, although she paused when she realised it would be inappropriate to say ‘beautiful’. “Short,” finished Alex a moment later, smiling as Maggie showed her dimples as she laughed. 

“Well, now you know. So does your department have any idea what happened?” asked Maggie. She was hoping Alex would be helpful, although she wasn’t exactly expecting it. Other departments had a way of being more interested in getting credit than helping anyone.

“Not really. We’ve had a few aliens who have been found dumped like this; we think it might be related, but we’re not sure. You?” asked Alex. She had planned to completely exclude Maggie, but now she felt like she couldn’t. Partly because Astra would probably be mad, and partly because Astra had mentioned Maggie was pretty good about aliens, so she’d probably be a good asset.

“He was flagged as a missing person; obviously now we know why he was missing – he was dead. Beyond that, we have found a few other aliens dead recently, although we hadn’t thought it was connected. But now that you mention it, do you think we’ve got an anti-alien serial killer on our hands?” asked Maggie. She was glad Alex seemed to be helpful. She was happy to share so long as it was mutual.

“Anything’s possible, but not really. You’d expect more … torture … you know, if that was the case,” said Alex slowly, feeling her stomach turn at the thought of all the horrible things people wanted to do to aliens, and the things she’d seen her own government do to aliens. She knew how much hatred people had, and how hatred led to such extreme violence – they didn’t just want to kill aliens, they wanted them to suffer too.

“Hey, you worried about your girlfriend?” asked Maggie softly. She had dated aliens herself in the past, and she was well aware of the feeling of dread just walking into a room, or a train carriage, or on the footpath, and wondering if they were about to be hurt because of who they were – and although it felt selfish to admit, she always had in the back of her mind if she was going to be hurt as well. It was not a fun feeling.

“I mean … a little. It’s hard to read the hate crime statistics and not worry,” said Alex quietly. She didn’t usually admit things like this, but she decided if her girlfriend trusted Maggie, then so did she – to a degree, anyway. 

“Yeah, I know. But we’re going to catch whoever is hurting these people, okay? So what’s our first lead?” asked Maggie. She was trying to focus on the case, because they both knew they couldn’t really arrest everyone who could be a threat to Astra. But they could catch whoever hurt these particular people, and that was just going to have to be good enough.

“Well, we tracked the guy’s cell phone’s GPS data the day of his death. I was going to retrace his steps. I guess you can come along,” said Alex with fake reluctancy. She liked the idea of Maggie coming along, but she hated the idea of Maggie knowing that.

“I guess I will then,” said Maggie, smiling with those dimples Alex was really starting to like seeing.

* * *

“I still can’t believe you people still print things,” said Alura the second she walked in the door.

“I missed you too,” said Lucy sarcastically. Alura rolled her eyes as she kissed Lucy for long enough that she was fairly certain her affection was obvious, before breaking away.

“I went to class with my computer to show the tutor my assignment, and she informed me that it needed to be printed! And apparently, I only had till the end of the class – which was an hour – to hand in the printed copy or I was told I would get 0. So I ran to the library to get a computer, but they were all taken because it was midday so everyone was there. I had to go to four libraries and got lucky eventually, and with three minutes to spare I handed in my math assignment worth a whole 2% of my grade. So I’m curious, why are you people still printing things? I know you can transmit files online,” said Alura with a combination of confusion and annoyance. She was trying to understand this world, but it seemed deliberately difficult most of the time.

“A lot of people find it easier to mark paper copies with a pen. So they make students print their assignments,” answered Lucy. She had a friend who was a teacher who constantly lamented the increasing use of technology to her, and he had mentioned, among other things, how painful marking on a computer was. She made a mental note never to introduce him to Alura.

“Right. Fine. Of course. Let’s destroy half the forest because teachers find typing too hard,” said Alura with an eye-roll. Sometimes she really understood where Astra had been coming from all those years ago. People really could be incredibly self-destructive for very trivial reasons. And people were so reluctant to change, sometimes it felt like authoritarian brain washing really was the way to go. 

“Yeah, basically. Was your day okay after that though?” asked Lucy.

“Well, after a solid five hours of Netflix on my laptop, I sat through two hours of a whole three formulas in an absurdly long example of how to use them in an electrical circuit. I just ...” started Alura, and before she knew it she was crying, and Lucy was holding her tenderly, completely confused as to what was wrong, but wanting to support her anyway. 

“Baby it’s okay. Talk to me,” said Lucy gently. Alura nodded but she was still crying, so she decided not to talk. After a few minutes she realised the crying wasn’t going to stop and she was just going to have to hope Lucy could make out the words despite her tears.

“It’s just … my whole world’s gone, you know? And everyone’s dead. My friends are dead, my family is mostly dead, and the few people who aren’t may as well be. Kara’s an adult who doesn’t need me any more, and Astra hates me for what I did. Everything’s different here. And it sucks. And I don’t know how to be okay with that. I don’t think I can just keep going like I have,” admitted Alura quietly. She didn’t know what was happening. She just suddenly felt overcome with grief and she wasn’t sure it was ever going to go away. She loved Lucy but she’d lost so much, and she didn’t know how to be okay with any of it.

“Baby, listen to me. You’ve been repressing this for so long; of course you’re having trouble with the intensity of it all. When you were captured you thought you had to repress how you felt because it wasn’t a safe environment. And then when you were freed you were still hesitant, because you’d been exposed to danger for so long you weren’t ready to accept it was safe just like that. But now I think you’ve decided it’s safe enough and all these feelings you’ve never really dealt with are still there, and they’re ready to come out. And you have to let them out, okay? You can’t process emotion if you just shove it down. I need you to talk about how you’re feeling. You miss Krypton; that much seems clear. Tell me what exactly you miss,” pleaded Lucy. She knew Alura wasn’t a fan of letting her emotions out, but this was important. She clearly wasn’t coping, and the last thing Lucy wanted was for her girlfriend to just try to shove everything down again and let it all get worse.

“I guess … I miss feeling safe. I miss not being an outsider. I miss knowing what to do. I miss not needing anyone. I miss having a job. I miss feeling confident. I miss feeling at home. I miss ...” started Alura, but then she was sobbing too hard into Lucy’s neck. She was just suddenly so overwhelmed by thinking of all she’d lost, she couldn’t talk any more.

“A lot of what you’re saying is just going to take time. You’ll know what to do in time; you just need the experience to work out what to do in a wide range of situations, and then you will feel confident. You’ll get a job after uni, and then you won’t need anyone. Once you establish yourself here, you will feel at home and not like an outsider. And I know that racism is terrifying, but you can shoot lasers out of your eyes, so there is that. Also, there is usually safety in numbers, so maybe if you found a few people to hang around with you’d feel safer?” prompted Lucy. She had been ready for Alura to fall apart for a while now, so she was fairly prepared as to what to say. 

“Maybe,” breathed out Alura as she pulled her girlfriend tighter. She’d never felt like this and she didn’t really know how to deal with all of this, but Lucy seemed to know what to do. She couldn’t help but grip her girlfriend tighter as she wondered what would’ve happened if she didn’t have her.

“I know it’s hard to hear that you just have to wait for things to get better, because that is a lot to ask of someone, but it is the unfortunate reality. But you need to talk to me when you feel bad. Telling yourself that you feel fine when you don’t doesn’t actually help. You need to acknowledge how you feel so you can try to work through it, instead of just being miserable and lying to yourself about it,” said Lucy. She’d seen a number of soldiers try to just repress everything and pretend to be unaffected and it worked – until it didn’t. They’d tell themselves they didn’t care because they managed to distract themselves most of the time, but eventually the distractions either went away or stopped working and then they fell apart – and it was so much worse because now they had years worth of repressed feelings to deal with as well.

“Okay. Yeah. I guess … I feel like I didn’t deserve to live when so many people died. I feel like it’s my fault, and yet somehow I survived. I feel like I don’t deserve you, because you’re so good, and I’m so awful,” said Alura quietly, unable to meet Lucy’s eyes, convinced her girlfriend was finally going to run and leave her after hearing how she felt. She’d replayed all the hurtful things Astra had said to her over and over again lying awake at night, and she’d always wondered if Lucy would end up saying the same things to her one day.

“So that’s survivor’s guilt. It’s really common. The reality is you are alive, and you can’t do anything to save them. You deserve to live because everyone deserves to live, and you tried to save your planet, but other people wouldn’t listen. That’s not your fault. And you definitely deserve me, because you make me very happy, and I love you,” said Lucy softly. She’d seen a lot of survivor’s guilt in the military, so she could recognise it pretty fast. Alura was astonished that there was a name for what she felt, and that Lucy wasn’t telling her that she was just weird and awful.

“Okay,” said Alura. She didn’t really believe it, but she was trying to.

“Baby, I don’t actually expect you to get over your survivor’s guilt and grief and everything else in one conversation. Mostly because that’s not possible; people can’t change that fast. I just want you to think about it and the next time you feel like you don’t deserve good things, you can think about what I said and maybe feel like it’s a little more okay. And maybe over time you don’t need to tell yourself over and over again why you deserve good things, because you’ll be used to believing it, but let’s start small, okay?” asked Lucy. 

“Okay,” agreed Alura, somewhat more believably. Part of her liked the ‘this will take a long time to process’ thing because at least that seemed plausible. She knew how different she’d been a decade ago, and she knew that change over long periods of time was definitely possible. However, she’d also rather be 100% fine now, and hearing that was basically impossible wasn’t exactly ideal. Still, she knew Lucy was right and she had to start somewhere, otherwise it would all just get worse and she didn’t want that.

* * *

“Darling, can we talk?” asked Cat softly. Her wife was sitting on the couch watching a soap opera that she really wanted to criticise for being tacky and unoriginal – but she didn’t because it made her wife happy and that was all that really mattered.

“Yeah baby, what’s up?” asked Kara, suddenly worried she’d done something wrong, but trying not to come off as worried as she sat down next to her.

“Baby, it’s okay, it’s nothing terrible,” said Cat quickly, realising her wife was panicking when she immediately turned her favourite show off. Kara breathed out for a second before she sat down next to her wife and waited. “So it seems Carter is skipping French class now,” said Cat calmly. It was admittedly a rather forced sense of calm, because she was trying very hard not to internally or externally panic, but Cat was proud of herself all the same.

“Oh Rao,” muttered Kara.

“So I wanted to know what you wanted to do about that,” said Cat, trying to be sensitive to her wife’s desire to have a very gentle parenting style. She had grown up with the idea of ‘tough love’, and she’d seen enough stories about how ‘helicopter parenting was ruining millennials’ to believe she’d been doing the right thing, but she had to concede Carter was much happier and a bit more confident under Kara’s system. She had always thought of herself as open to evidence, and the evidence did seem to be in Kara’s favour, but in this circumstance Cat was relatively convinced that it was time for some harsher methods.

“I’ll talk to him,” promised Kara.

“Oh come on,” muttered Cat under her breath, frustrated at her wife’s somehow completely predictable response.

“Excuse me?” asked Kara, frustrated. She didn’t appreciate her wife’s tone, and she intended to demand better. Cat sighed.

“I’m sorry darling; that wasn’t productive. I just don’t think that’s going to achieve anything. We know he doesn’t like it, and he doesn’t even understand what they’re saying during the class – I mean, it’s honestly a miracle he passed last term. But we both agree he needs to go to classes, right?” asked Cat. She hoped they could at least be on the same page on that one. Although, honestly, she never really assumed any more. It was always better to check anyway.

“Well, I imagine he’d be getting in trouble for not going,” started Kara.

“Yes, he has detention today. So he’ll be home late,” replied Cat. She had received the phone call from the Principle telling her she’d have to pick him up later, along with a ten minute lecture on how she needed to enforce more discipline at home. She didn’t plan on giving her wife that speech because she was well aware what Kara would think of it.

“So maybe that will be enough to make him reconsider his behaviour all on his own,” said Kara. Cat sighed but said nothing. “Baby, I’m not saying it’s likely, but I want to talk to him to get a sense of how he feels. And then after that we can talk?” suggested Kara. 

“Okay darling. Okay,” said Cat defeatedly, not wanting to argue. She didn’t think it was going to happen, but she supposed it didn’t really matter. Whatever happened, they’d talk about it later.

“Thank you,” said Kara genuinely. Cat huffed, because she still didn’t really what to do with genuine gratitude, and just turned Kara’s show back on. Kara smiled and naturally put her arm around her wife, which Cat responded to by leaning into Kara.

* * *

“So I met your Detective friend today,” said Alex when she walked though the door to find Astra cooking. Well, maybe cooking was a stretch. She was re-heating, but Alex was glad for dinner all the same.

“Maggie?” asked Astra curiously. She didn’t have a lot of friends, let alone Detective friends, so she assumed they were talking about Maggie.

“Yeah. She’s nice,” remarked Alex genuinely. 

“I certainly think so. Did you have any luck on the case?” asked Astra.

“Not really. We did spend a good twenty minutes walking around an empty warehouse which we still can’t figure out why he was in, but apart from that nothing seemed too out of the ordinary,” answered Alex, clearly dissapointed.

“If anyone can find him, it’s you,” said Astra encouragingly. 

“We’ll see. So how was your day?” asked Alex.

“Oh, nothing too exciting. Your Director has decided that I should be trained in DEO protocols if I’m going to be going on missions. Your protocols are very boring,” answered Astra. She had been given a horrifically long manual and a practice test which she’d skimmed. It had definitely seemed boring, so she’d decided to ignore it for a bit.

“Oh my God, do you have to do the test and everything?” asked Alex, clearly thrilled with this development. Astra sighed.

“Yes, I do. And how is everything in a 200 page manual all assessable? Nobody can remember that!” said Astra. Sometimes even she missed Krypton. There was a lot to dislike, but at least there wasn’t this nonsense.

“Don’t worry, I’ll go over the bits that actually matter with you,” promised Alex.

“Really? Thanks,” said Astra, relieved she didn’t actually have to learn 200 pages.

“So I think I’m gay,” said Alex after a beat. She’d been nervous to say it, even to Astra, which she knew was stupid, because obviously Astra didn’t care and kind of knew, but she still felt nervous all the same. It was the first time she’d said it, and saying it out loud made it feel more real to herself, which she knew shouldn’t matter, and yet she couldn’t help the way she felt.

“Oh?” asked Astra with fake surprise. It had always been rather obvious to her, but she knew her girlfriend was working through a lot of emotions, and the unfortunate reality was that logic almost always took a back seat to emotion. People could very easily deny the truth because they liked the lie better, and she was well aware why Alex didn’t like the truth in this case. Still, she knew Alex was going to be a lot happier now that she didn’t have to suppress her own feelings all the time to try to maintain a narrative in her head which she liked better than the reality.

“Well, this isn’t going away, is it? And looking back at certain things I think this was always there, but I just didn’t want to accept it. I was never big on having friends, but now I think I just felt uncomfortable around men who inevitably ended up hitting on me, and women made me feel things I didn’t want to feel, so I pushed them away too,” explained Alex. She felt relieved to finally say it; it felt like a weight she hadn’t even noticed coming off her shoulders, and now that it was gone she realised what a burden it had been.

“I’m glad you can be honest about how you feel,” said Astra genuinely. She was glad her girlfriend was finally able to accept who she was.

“Yeah, me too,” said Alex, smiling. She was relieved to finally accept it. It was exhausting trying to rationalise it all away anyway.

* * *

When Kara and Carter arrived home, Cat got the impression her wife might be ready to listen to her a little more. They were both completely silent, which was pretty common for Carter but very unusual for Kara, and Carter seemed to freeze the second he saw Cat standing there with her arms crossed. His eyes were fixed on the floor, and he wasn’t running to go play his games, so Cat could tell he was nervous. “Carter, dinner’s on the table. Kara and I are going to talk now, but then we’ll probably talk to you, okay?” asked Cat calmly. Carter just nodded and went to the table while Cat pulled her wife into their room. “So?” prompted Cat.

“Well, he hates going to classes he feels stupid in. Everyone laughs whenever he tries to say anything. You know how sensitive he is. He said he was just having a bad day, and he didn’t plan to do it again because he didn’t want a string of detentions, but today he just didn’t feel like he could do it,” explained Kara.

“Okay. I suppose you just want to let this go then?” asked Cat. She was trying to be calm and neutral but a hint of aggression slipped into her tone.

“Well yes? I suppose you want to punish him more?” asked Kara with more venom than Cat was accustomed to hearing from her wife. She was slightly taken aback, but she recovered quickly because she knew it was just coming out of a sense of protectiveness.

“No, darling, I concede that strategy has had a low success rate. I was thinking more along the lines of a French tutor,” replied Cat calmly. Kara took a breath and tried to be calmer.

“I’m sorry baby. I shouldn’t have snapped. But I don’t think he wants to do that. And honestly, given the time it takes to actually build proficiency in a language, even if he did it, he’d probably give up before it was useful anyway,” said Kara. She was well aware how long it took to learn a language. There were thousands of words, then ten to twenty tenses, then an absurd amount of expressions, then a bunch of weird grammar rules, spelling was almost always a nightmare, pronunciation took years, recognising native speech with all the absurd amount of accent variations took forever, and it was pretty hard to find speakers to practice with who were patient enough to listen to your broken attempts at their language anyway. 

“I just want to help,” said Cat, feeling frustrated that there seemed to be nothing she could do that her wife would like, despite her best intentions.

“Sometimes the best course of action is to do nothing baby. You can’t always make things better, much as you may want to,” said Kara. 

“I just … I want you to think about this for a second. He’s incredibly sensitive. He says he doesn’t plan to do it again, but he hates going, and if his French doesn’t improve that won’t change. And as you have pointed out, language takes a long time to improve. So he may not be so keen now, but when he’s getting suspended because he can’t do it any more and he’s skipping class every day, it’ll be too late to fix it,” said Cat. She knew Kara was a reasonable person, although she had a very big heart which she let guide her a lot of the time. Regardless, Cat was sure her wife didn’t want their son to struggle later any more than she did.

“I get all of that. But how are you going to make his French improve? How are you going to force him to spend hours of his free time doing something he doesn’t want to do?” asked Kara. She understood her wife’s motives, but it didn’t change what Carter wanted.

“How do you feel about bribery?” asked Cat with a surprising amount of seriousness. After a few seconds Kara realised she meant buying Carter something.

“Depends. What are we bribing him with?” asked Kara. She didn’t want anything important held over his head, ever. That was just cruel and abusive and all it would ever teach him was that people who say they love you will take things you need away from you when they don’t get what they want from you, and even worse, that that dynamic was okay.

“I don’t know; I hadn’t gotten that far,” replied Cat. She hadn’t been too sure Kara was going to agree, so she hadn’t thought it through any more.

“Well I’ve listened to a few gaming-inclined people talk enough to know a few things, and I guess we could offer to buy him some overpriced 4K monitor for his PC if he does a month of French lessons. And we maybe hope he likes understanding more so he keeps doing it. Or, of course, we offer to buy him something else,” suggested Kara.

“4K?” asked Cat curiously. She tried to keep up with the millennial slang, but sometimes she just didn’t care enough to look this stuff up.

“It means there’s a lot of pixels in the screen. About 4 thousand in every row of the screen,” said Kara. Vasquez had spent an hour explaining how cool her new monitor was. Which had meant she’d had to explain how monitors worked for a good half an hour first.

“What’s the value in that?” asked Cat, confused.

“Well, nobody likes pixelated images,” answered Kara.

“Right, but who looks at their computer and sees pixelated images? It’s all pretty clear from what I’ve seen, and I bought the absolute cheapest monitors for my employees,” said Cat. She wasn’t ashamed of buying budget-friendly items for the office. It was all working fine anyway, so clearly anyone who was paying more was wasting their money.

“Yeah, well, there are some people who … say … they can see the pixels, and they’re excited about 4K, as are the companies who can sell technology most people probably don’t need for a high price. I mean, it’s technically a better quality image – although how much you really get out of it seems pretty doubtful to me – but gamers tend to get ridiculously expensive monitors, so I’m pretty sure Carter will love it,” said Kara. She had been a little confused by Vasquez’s excitement, but if she was happy, Kara was happy for her. And it definitely sounded like something their son would jump at, so it had gotten her thinking about maybe getting one for his birthday. This could work too though.

“That sounds good to me, but I still don’t know if Carter will go for it,” said Cat. She wasn’t too concerned about the fact that it wasn’t the most logical purchase; if it got Carter to help himself then she’d be happy.

“Let’s find out?” said Kara, offering Cat her hand. Her wife instantly took it as she was led to find Carter just finishing his dinner. “Hey buddy, we have an offer for you,” started Kara.

“Oh?” asked Carter, completely disinterested.

“We want you to feel better about going to French class, so we want to get you a French tutor,” said Kara. 

“Gee, thanks but no thanks,” replied Carter in the same disinterested tone. He had no intention of spending more of his time doing things he didn’t like. 

“In return for one month of lessons, we will buy you any monitor you want for your computer,” offered Kara.

“You … like a 4K monitor?” asked Carter, suddenly intrigued.

“Yes,” replied Kara confidently. Cat smiled. This just might work.

“Just a month?” asked Carter with a defeated sigh.

“Yes,” replied Kara smiling.

“Fine,” agreed Carter reluctantly.

* * *

“Hey baby I’m … home,” said Astra, slightly confused as she entered her apartment to find all the lights off and completely lit with candles. There also appeared to be music playing, although she wasn’t sure if it was coming from inside or if her super-hearing was just being over-sensitive again.

“Hey baby,” said Alex, coming into view suddenly, wearing black lingerie with a very low neckline and the shortest skirt she’d ever seen.

“Alex, we’ve talked about this ...” started Astra. Her girlfriend was breathtaking, and barely clothed, but Astra wasn’t going to let a few hormones override her desire to protect Alex. She wasn’t ready for this, much as she liked to assert she was. And Astra had no desire to hurt her girlfriend.

“Yes, I know, I don’t have to do anything. But I want to. And yes, I was forcing it before. I was so scared I was never going to feel … lust, I guess is what this is? And I know if I had’ve never felt it, that would’ve been fine, and I shouldn’t have tried to force it, but I just wanted to give you everything you wanted. But I feel it now, okay? I really do. Once I stopped being scared of a label and admitted how I felt, things just fell into place. I didn’t even know what was happening at first because this is all so new to me. I started thinking about you … like all the time. And then my body … reacted. And it was weirdly nice and also weirdly uncomfortable and I just … I still don’t really know how to talk about this but I want you. Listen to my heartbeat baby. I’m not scared any more,” said Alex, slowly moving towards her girlfriend until she was standing just inches away from her, still not closing the gap between them because she was too scared Astra was going to push her away yet again.

“You understand the second you say ‘stop’, I stop, right? And if anything doesn’t feel good, you tell me immediately?” asked Astra, tentatively putting her hand around her girlfriend’s waist. She was still cautious, but her girlfriend was right; there were no signs of stress that she could see or hear. There certainly were signs of arousal though, and it really did seem that Alex really was ready this time.

“I know,” said Alex softly, smiling because she did know her girlfriend would never do anything she didn’t want. All the men she’d been with had never cared about how she’d felt for one second, and it had taken a while for her to believe that Astra actually did care if she was okay or not. But now she really did understand what it felt like to care about someone, and to want someone, and to never want to hurt them.

“Okay,” said Astra slowly as she softly took her girlfriend’s hand and walked her to the bedroom she knew so well, and was vaguely unsurprised (although still kind of impressed) to find a significant number of candles there too. “You want to lie down?” asked Astra gently, careful to make sure that her girlfriend wanted this by not giving her any commands, just suggestions. Alex eagerly lay on the bed without letting go of her girlfriend’s hand, so naturally Astra had no choice but to follow on top of her, although all her weight was being supported on her arms as she hovered above Alex. She lowered herself down slightly to softly kiss her girlfriend, who wrapped her arms around her and tried to pull her down as hard as possible. Of course, with Astra’s super strength, it didn’t really have much effect. 

“Baby ...” whined Alex, slightly frustrated that her girlfriend wasn’t doing anything yet. 

“We’re taking this slow, Alex. I know the hormones in your body are telling you that you just want to feel everything now, but just trust me, okay?” asked Astra gently, moving to kiss her neck.

“Okay,” sighed Alex, because she did trust Astra.

* * *

“So I wanted to ask you something, and I want a real answer,” said Kara when Cat was sitting up in bed typing on her laptop. 

“Um … okay,” said Cat uncertainly, not sure where this was going.

“Do you really believe that journalism matters? That we can change anything?” asked Kara despondently.

“It’s a little early for a mid-life crisis, isn’t it?” joked Cat, but Kara just looked at her with a very unamused expression. “Well, okay then, I guess … I mean, yes. I’ve seen journalism bring change. I’ve seen corrupt people get exposed,” answered Cat carefully. She wasn’t sure where this was coming from and that always made her nervous.

“We couldn’t stop Trump though. Everyone tried to warn people, and it didn’t matter,” countered Kara.

“Ah. That’s what this is about. Well, it’s like this. You can’t win every time. Sometimes people just don’t listen, and there’s nothing you can do. That doesn’t mean you stop trying altogether,” said Cat. If she’d given up the first time she’d lost, she never would’ve gotten anywhere.

“Does it feel worthwhile? To work so hard and know the impact is minimal at best?” asked Kara genuinely. She didn’t think she could do that. Every time she saved someone, she knew she’d made a huge difference to someone – and their family, and their friends, and probably a lot of other people too. That’s what gave her the motivation to keep going.

“I think your young enthusiasm is finally starting to calm down, which was inevitable. Obviously after a while you stop trying as hard, since you realise just how hard it is to change anything. You have to pick your battles. Don’t exert yourself for nothing. Especially because if you ever want real change it takes a long time and continued pressure, and that’s not going to be something you can do if you try to do everything,” answered Cat gently. She had seen things change over time, but she also remembered how long that change had taken. She remembered not being able to get a bank loan without a husband, and all the other barriers that had existed just for being a woman, and she knew how long and how hard it was to get those things changed, and they still didn’t even actually have equal pay.

“People tried hard with Trump though. It was consistent pressure, and consistent explanations on the problems with everything he said, and it didn’t help,” said Kara. She remembered all the criticisms that people had written, and she had really thought it would be enough. Obviously she was wrong. And even now, despite actual government agencies investigating Trump’s ties to Russia, somehow people still acted like it was all nothing. News report after news report gave people more information that Trump or someone linked to him had done something else – and it still didn’t seem to be making a difference with the people who voted for him. In fact, now people were acting like he was some kind of great hero of humanity for attacking Syria, when it was looking ever likely that he was about to provoke another war, and it was highly unlikely he had actually accomplished better conditions for the Syrian people. It was astounding how after an entire campaign of saying how America should focus on ‘making America great again’ he had suddenly decided to get involved. It was ironic, really. After millions of Trump supporters telling people they shouldn’t be taking Trump so literally when he said things like ‘we’re going to build a wall’, it turned out he was lying about not wanting to start a war. Although, a number of people had said that he had a temperament prone to violence, but once again, it just didn’t get through to people.

“Like I said, you can’t win everything. You can try your absolute best and still fail. And you will. But that doesn’t mean you don’t try again,” said Cat. She understood Kara’s pessimism, but that didn’t mean freedom of the press didn’t mean anything. Sometimes – although admittedly not that often – journalism changed things. And just because you can’t win every battle, doesn’t mean you don’t fight.

“Do you worry about it happening again here?” asked Kara quietly.

“You mean someone else like Trump getting elected? Yes and no. I don’t actively think about it, but I’d never rule it out. And obviously things are getting … very tense … around the world. The government have managed to convince a whole lot of people to be afraid on the basis of terrorism – one of the most unlikely things to hurt you, and that was way before Trump. And then all the wars and the refugee crisis ramped things up even more, and … I guess I’m saying there’s a lot of racism going around right now, and it’s not going to disappear. It used to be anti-Communist, and now it’s mostly anti-Muslim and anti-alien, and unless another target comes along, people aren’t going to stop hating you. And I don’t see another target coming along. Although maybe it’s naive, I like to think our money can protect you somewhat,” admitted Cat. She knew money couldn’t save you from everything, but she did hope that maybe it could save the woman who meant everything to her.

“You know, even though money has saved some people from these situations, a lot of the time people didn’t want money. They just wanted to hate,” said Kara. She was astounded at the amount of money governments here happily spent on keeping people out, but then acted like letting people in to work, buy things and pay taxes was somehow going to destroy the economy. It reminded her of Trump telling everyone that he had to spend all this money to bomb people because he cared so much about the innocent people dying – but he’d never accept those people as refugees, even though it would be far cheaper and actually help people. Because he doesn’t really care about the money, he just wants to fight someone, and he’s finally found a target it seems a lot of people – even around the world – might support him on.

“I know they do. I know I can’t bargain with people like that for you safety, at least not with any real assurance. But it got us here, and at least for now, this is better,” said Cat. She understood her wife’s concern, but she knew they were much better off with money than without it.

“Yeah, it is. And I appreciate everything you’ve done for me baby, but it’s hard not to still feel vulnerable. People are still debating the validity of my existence here. And it all feels a bit familiar. And whenever Trump comes up, everyone is so sure that couldn’t happen here, but most people in America thought the same thing up until hours into counting the votes. You know, after Hitler won there were other countries that followed. I can’t help but wonder who’ll be next,” said Kara. She still couldn’t believe that people around the world didn’t really take Trump seriously. Despite putting white supremacists (she still wasn’t sure who they thought they were fooling by saying ‘white nationalists’) in the government, looking to spend billions to build a wall to keep foreigners out, and trying to ban immigration from Muslim-majority countries (which only didn’t happen because the American justice system ruled it unconstitutional), people still didn’t want to see what was right in front of them. 

“Look, I’m not going to tell you that there’s nothing to worry about, because you’re right about everything. But if you worry about it all the time you’ll be miserable all the time, and sometimes you just have to push things out of your mind and deal with it if it comes up,” said Cat.

“What? Just bury my head in the sand and pretend it’s not happening? That’s the same thing the Germans did. We need to rally, we need to ...” started Kara, before her wife cut her off.

“Darling, please. I know you want the system to correct itself and get rid of him, but I don’t think that’s going to happen. The GOP might’ve started off very opposed to Trump, but they’re more than behind him now. So I think it’s time to accept that this is what it is, and it’s not going to go away. And much as the numbers are problematic, he did win a democratic election. He has the majority in enough states that he was declared the winner, and you can march all you like about that, but it’s still true. He has a comfortable majority, and he knows it. He has the House and the Senate, and they will probably approve every bigoted measure he tells them to, regardless of how many calls they get asking them to reconsider, because the Republican party has always been incredibly bigoted and apparently they were always willing to go even further than anyone thought. They might be opposed to his awful healthcare replacement, but the entire party still campaigned on getting rid of Obama’s policy, and if he’d just talked to them then we’d already be living with that new policy. This is real. This is happening. And unless you intend to throw the President into space, you’re not going to change anything,” interrupted Cat. She didn’t want Kara to waste her energy on something she was never going to change.

“Well, I guess I’m just not that cynical,” said Kara.

“Okay, darling, okay. You keep all your hope, and your optimism, and the whole Sunny Danvers TM package ...” started Cat.

“Did you just say TM?” asked Kara with an amused expression.

“Yes darling, it came in the slang dictionary with the ‘I married a millennial’ starter pack,” joked Cat. Kara smiled though, because she knew it meant that Cat actually listened to her, and was trying to adapt for her. “Anyway, my point is you can keep all that. But if … just if … one day you feel like it hurts too much to care, you have to promise me you’ll stop. You may not understand it right now, but cynicism stops you from getting your hopes up and getting dissapointed, and after enough disappointment you’re going to change something so you don’t feel so bad any more,” said Cat.

“Is that why older generations vote conservative? You’ve given up on change so you can’t be dissapointed?” asked Kara, somewhat rhetorically.

“In a way, yes. We fought for change, got some of it, got tired, and accepted this. And one day you are going to see your generation do exactly the same thing. Every generation in human history has followed the exact same patterns – and it is absolutely absurd to think that you will be the exception. And speaking of human history, hatred, racism, and anti-religion sentiment have always been there, and they’re not going to go away. The Germans protested Hitler for a while too, but then they got used to it. I cannot remember a single point in history where a wave of hatred has risen up only to have a protest make it go away,” said Cat. She remembered hearing about the end of the French occupation of Algeria. People got sick of being treated as second-class citizens in their own country and used terrorist tactics to make the French decide it wasn’t worthwhile to stay. Nobody decided to be a better person. Nobody won by having a rigorous debate. It took violence, and death, and sacrifice. The same way they’d beaten the Nazis. 

“We have to try,” said Kara emphatically. She didn’t believe in giving up – especially before she’d even tried.

“You have to learn to pick your battles. And this is one you can’t win. Not your way, anyway. It took a war to stop the Nazis, and you’re not ready for that. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t like hard decisions. You don’t want to kill anyone ever … which is nice, but what happens when that leads to other people dying?” asked Cat. She didn’t know if Trump would step down if he lost the next election. She wouldn’t bet on it – he didn’t seem eager to accept the election result last time until it was clear he’d won. But even if he did, there was still four more years of this administration, and she didn’t think he was going to suddenly abandon his awful, bigoted agenda he’d been elected on. She also knew that war was cyclical – people went to war, then realised how bad war was and wanted peace, then found a new reason to go to war. America was a major power who had been at peace for quite a long time – even though it had plunged a number of other countries into war – and considering who the President was, it was highly likely that sooner rather than later there was going to be a conflict that would kill American enthusiasm for war … for about fifty years, anyway.

“There’s always another way,” said Kara firmly.

“Sometimes there’s another way. Sometimes people kill when they don’t have to, because they were scared and it seemed like the safer option for them, or because they just didn’t care about their target, or because it’s easier. But sometimes there isn’t another way, and you can be in denial about that all you want for now, but one day you’re going to have to face it. The reality is absolute statements are almost never true, because life is complicated, and things that work in one situation are unlikely to work for every situation possible,” said Cat. 

“I guess we’ll find out who’s right eventually,” said Kara quietly.

“Yeah baby, we will,” said Cat gently, trying to hide the awful feeling she was right. She really didn’t want to be right. But she also didn’t want her wife to be unprepared.

* * *

“Okay, so like … I don’t think I can move,” said Alex, vaguely concerned, but also very happy. Her legs were just not cooperating right now. She was sure she wouldn’t be able to stand.

“That should go away pretty quickly,” chuckled Astra as Alex just cuddled closer while Astra put her arm around her girlfriend to gently hold her in place. She also started to gently rub her back, which Alex seemed to like as well because she made a little happy noise.

“So that was incredible. I mean, for me. I know it was probably bad for you ...” started Alex.

“What? Why would you think that?” asked Astra, confused.

“Because I didn’t know what I was doing,” answered Alex quietly.

“You know, for someone who didn’t know what they were doing, you sure knew what you were doing,” countered Astra, amused.

“Well, I did look a few things up,” said Alex shyly. Okay, she’d looked a lot up. So much so that she’d wondered yet again if she really was gay, because some of that stuff really didn’t appeal. But then there were things that did, and part of her had worried that Astra would want things she didn’t and vice versa, but eventually she had decided there was only one way to find out, and she was more than ready to see what she actually liked in practice, not just theory. It had turned out that they were very much in sync, and she was definitely gay.

“I see. But you’re still convinced I secretly hated everything you did; is that about right?” asked Astra curiously. She had to wonder where this was coming from. Was Alex naturally this insecure? Was it just because she hadn’t done this before?

“I don’t know,” answered Alex, burying her head in Astra’s neck in embarrassment. Astra kissed her head gently. She didn’t want Alex to be insecure; she wanted her to feel loved.

“It was good, Alex. I would’ve told you if it wasn’t, and I would’ve told you what I liked instead. But I didn’t have to, because it was good,” affirmed Astra softly. 

“Okay,” accepted Alex reluctantly. She had never really gotten a lot of people who told her she was good. She’d never been good enough for her mother. She could never really compete with Kara. J’onn was probably the nicest to her, but he wasn’t big on words. But Astra had always made her feel like she was enough, and that meant more to her than she had ever realised until now.

“As a side note, you know you didn’t have to light hundreds of candles, right? I know there was that show with the girl who really liked candles, but that’s not really necessary,” joked Astra softly. She wanted Alex to know she didn’t need anything other than her girlfriend.

“Believe me, I’m not trying to emulate anything from that show. I just … wanted to make an effort. You deserve the pomp and the fuss, you know?” asked Alex quietly. She still felt weirdly vulnerable in a way she never had before and hadn’t really expected to feel, but Astra’s firm grip around her and gentle kisses to her forehead were making her feel like maybe that was okay, maybe she didn’t have to worry about being guarded, maybe she wouldn’t get hurt. She still wanted to make sure Astra was okay though, because it didn’t matter that she’d done this before and was way more comfortable with all of this, she still needed to be looked after.

“Hmm, well, that stuff isn’t what really matters. You can light some candles for someone, or make them a nice cake, or whatever … and it’s nice, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not what makes a good relationship. That comes down to someone being there for you consistently, and helping you, and not hurting you. And I know there’s a whole thing here about the first time being special and having very soft lighting and a nice soundtrack – at least, that’s what I’ve gotten from your TV shows – but none of that really affects how it is. It’s all down to who you’re with. People can light you a hundred candles and not take care of you, you know?” asked Astra. 

Astra worried sometimes that Alex just didn’t understand a lot of things and that someone could easily take advantage of her. Astra had been married for decades, while Alex had never been in a real relationship before, and Astra hoped she could make sure Alex understood what really mattered, and that short-term things that might make you feel nice at the time weren’t in any way a sign that you should really trust that person. 

Non had been very generous at the beginning of their relationship. He’d bought her the pastries she loved and let her pick all the movies – and she’d thought she’d found someone she could very easily spend her life with. But soon enough, all that stopped. Everyone told her that was normal – she had just gotten out of the ‘honeymoon period’ - but she couldn’t help but feel somewhat betrayed. Like he was only doing those things to get her to like him, but none of it was real. Besides, she’d never done any of that; she’d always been honest about who she was. But she got told that she was just being over-dramatic, so she’d let it go. Of course, once she found him in bed with someone else, their relationship became purely professional – people still told her she was being a bit over-dramatic with that decision, but she’d decided by that point that people were idiots and she could make her own decisions.

“That’s … true, I guess. I might’ve gone a bit overboard with the candles. I just wanted it to be perfect, and I know nothing’s perfect, and I know lighting doesn’t actually make a big difference in the experience … I don’t know, I just wanted to do everything I could think of to show you I cared. But if that kind of thing doesn’t convey that to you, because you’re more practical – which I love, you know – then that’s cool. That’s great, really, because candles are surprisingly expensive,” said Alex with a light tone, finally feeling herself relax. She had been so worried about how this was going to be, had spent so long convincing herself everything was going to be a disaster, that now she just felt so much lighter. 

“I love you,” said Astra simply, hoping to stop her girlfriend’s nervous rambles. She never imagined she could ever be this soft with anyone – she’d been betrayed by almost everyone – but with Alex she felt truly safe to let her guard down. She truly hoped she could make Alex feel just as safe.

“I love you too,” said Alex.

* * *

Maggie called Alex at around noon, and Alex eagerly picked up the phone. She had been informed that her relationship with Astra required a number of HR forms to be filled out, and she’d been finding excuses for hours. She hated paperwork. Coming out was definitely not like this in the movies. There was supposed to be more crying, or yelling, or something. But Winn had just said ‘nice’, Vasquez had been thrilled and said ‘I knew it’, Lucy had said ‘maybe we’ll be sisters one day’ (she was still vaguely confused about that), and J’onn had just given her directions to HR. She figured J’onn had actually called Pam at some point because now she was roaming the floor looking for her while Alex hid out in this particularly dark conference room. 

“So I have a lead on the dead aliens. I’ve heard from a few aliens that some shady organisation is offering aliens money to fight, but almost everyone said no since they heard a few people didn’t come back. They started recruiting about when we started finding bodies,” said Maggie.

“Okay, great! Where are they?” asked Alex.

“Ah, that’s the thing. They constantly switch locations. And nobody seems to be able to identify anyone involved, beyond some basic description of a thirty year old nondescript white guy approaching them, which doesn’t really narrow it down,” said Maggie.

“Well, what if we found an alien who said yes? Then we could follow them,” suggested Alex.

“Do you know an alien who’s said yes?” asked Maggie curiously. Had Alex been holding out on her? She wouldn’t appreciate that at all.

“I know an alien who would do just about anything I asked,” answered Alex.

“Wait, are you talking about your girlfriend? You want to use your girlfriend as bait?” asked Maggie incredulously. She was vaguely horrified Alex would even suggest that. Girlfriends were definitely not supposed to be bait.

“I wouldn’t call her bait exactly. Once they give her the location of the next fight we can pull her out,” said Alex. She was positive there wouldn’t be any real danger. 

“I don’t know, Alex. She’s clearly very in love with you, and I’m sure she’d do it, but that doesn’t make this safe,” said Maggie. She felt strangely protective of her new friend.

“Believe me, she can take care of herself. And this is going to save people from being killed, okay? This is too important to blindly search every warehouse in the city until we maybe get lucky,” said Alex. She knew Astra would want to help, and she was sure it was the best approach.

“Okay, Danvers. Whatever. She’s your girlfriend,” said Maggie reluctantly. She didn’t like it, but she knew she didn’t really get a say.

* * *

Astra had been sitting at the bar for five hours, talking very loudly every few minutes about her gambling debts. She was starting to think this entire day was going to be a waste of time until some random guy sat next to her and said, “how would you like to make $4000 tonight?”

“No thanks, I’m rather fond of my girlfriend,” answered Astra with restraint. She pushed down thoughts of violent murder by imagining Alex’s sad face if she actually went to prison for murder.

“That’s not what I meant. I was talking about a fight. You fight, and you win, and you get $4000.”

“Where?” asked Astra, trying to seem only vaguely interested. But oh, she was most certainly interested. This was it. Finally. 

“That’s the kind of detail someone only needs if they’re in. Are you in?” 

“Well, I suppose I could use the money. So … I guess,” said Astra with fake reluctance. 

“Give me your number. We’ll text you when it’s time.” Astra very reluctantly gave him her real phone number and then watched him walk away.

* * *

Alura really wasn’t a fan of this whole ‘actually dealing with things’ thing. She just wanted to shove everything down, but Lucy kept telling her that it really was going to be good for her in the long run. Alura didn’t really see how talking about anything made it better, but her girlfriend had been so amazing, she didn’t want to say no to her. So, she was on the couch, talking about everything. 

“It’s just hard to talk to anyone because … I mean, I can’t even be honest with them, so what’s the point? What would I say? Hi, I’m Alura, my world exploded and I’m concealing my grief, did you think the math test was hard too?” asked Alura.

“Okay, sure, but what about alien friends? People you can actually be honest with?” asked Lucy.

“But how would I find them?” asked Alura.

“I’ve heard of places where you could go,” said Lucy.

“It would be a risk, wouldn’t it? If people saw me go there, or leave, then they’d know who I was,” countered Alura.

“That’s true,” conceded Lucy. “There is always your family,” said Lucy after a beat.

“What? You want me to use my daughter as an emotional support system? Or do you want me to use the sister I sent to hell on Krypton?” asked Alura rhetorically.

“I really don’t think Kara would mind,” said Lucy, confused as to why Kara wouldn’t want to help.

“That’s not the point. I’m supposed to look after her, she’s not supposed to look after me,” said Alura.

“Well, people usually look after each other. That’s what we do, right?” asked Lucy.

“Yes, but you’re my girlfriend. That’s very different from being a parent. And I think I have burdened my daughter enough,” said Alura. The more she was here, the more she wondered how hard this all must’ve been for a young girl. She had wanted to protect her daughter, but now she wondered just how much pain she’d put her through.

“You think talking to her would burden her? Has it occurred to you that maybe she’d like to listen to what you’re going through? Maybe she’d like to hear how you’re dealing with the things she went through? Maybe she’d like to connect more to you in general?” asked Lucy.

“I don’t know,” said Alura non-committally.

“Could you think about it?” asked Lucy softly.

“Okay,” sighed Alura.

* * *

Astra, Alex, and Maggie had all decided to stay together until Astra got the text. So at 6 when Maggie’s shift ended she went to Alex and Astra’s place, and was very pleasantly surprised to find she had dinner waiting for her. They had even waited to eat with her. 

Maggie very happily sat down at the table and ate her own serving, while being slightly amazed at just how much Astra could eat. They each talked about their day and she couldn’t help but feel like this was all very nice. It was also rather tense though, because they were waiting for Astra’s phone to sound. So far, she’d gotten two Spotify alerts, one ‘your apps need updating’ alert, and one Facebook update from Kara. Naturally, all of those had been a bit of an anticlimax.

It was 7:30 when they ended up on the couch, deciding they may as well try to relax while they waited. They ended up giving up on the TV pretty fast because there was nothing good on, and Alex grabbed her laptop so they could watch Netflix. Alex let Maggie pick what to watch and she chose an action movie she’d already seen so it wouldn’t be too stressful. Both Alex and Astra instantly approved of the choice and Alex sat in the middle with her laptop so everyone could see the screen. Of course, with the rather narrow range of decent viewing angles on her laptop screen, both of them had to sit very close to Alex. Astra didn’t mind in the slightest, instantly putting her arm around her girlfriend and getting as close as possible. Maggie, on the other hand, had to balance sitting a respectable distance away with actually being able to see what was happening.

The movie ended, and Astra’s phone still hadn’t gotten a message. Astra was compulsively checking her phone every 5 minutes just to make sure she didn’t miss anything, so it definitely hadn’t been sent. They ended up just talking some more, mostly because by now they were too antsy to enjoy anything that required looking away from Astra’s phone screen. 

Maggie was rather taken aback when an alarm on Alex’s phone went off and Alex disappeared for a minute and then returned with a needle which she then stuck in Astra’s arm. “Okay, I know I’m not DEA, but really? Right in front of a cop?” asked Maggie with a certain amount of indignation.

“What? Oh, calm down, it’s not heroin! It’s to manage her anxiety,” said Alex.

“Oh. Cool. Wait, are you sure she’s okay to do this at all? This has to be stressful,” said Maggie. She didn’t like this before, but she certainly liked it even less now.

“I am fine. Both of you need to relax. I’m the one with the anxiety condition,” joked Astra, but neither woman seemed amused. 

“Really, I don’t know if this is a good idea,” started Maggie.

“Well, it’s too late to go back now,” interrupted Astra. She was right, of course. They all knew it. They couldn’t go back; she’d given him her real number, and there were people who would die if they didn’t stop this.

“God, what have I gotten you into?” asked Alex, mostly to herself.

“Something that is going to save lives. Will you two just ...” started Astra and then she heard her phone beep. They all held their breath as Astra picked up her phone to see what it was. “It’s an address. Well, kind of. It’s an alley,” said Astra.

“Okay, no way. We have to pull the plug on this,” said Maggie. Nothing about that sounded good. You didn’t have to have police experience to know meeting someone in an alley ever, but especially at night, was a really bad idea.

“Yeah, I think ...” started Alex.

“Neither of you can stop me. Now I am going to go to this location, and presumably they’ll drive me to the real location from there – to prevent exactly what you were planning to do. But all you have to do is put a tracker on me and we should be fine,” said Astra. She was half-expecting this anyway. She’d run quite a few operations, and she knew it was standard procedure to give people a location that didn’t really expose you. She knew these people probably weren’t military, but it still made sense.

“Maybe. Or maybe they know you’re out to betray them and they’re just going to shoot you,” said Maggie with concern.

“We can track your phone,” said Alex reluctantly. It was better than just letting her girlfriend go, she supposed.

“They’ll probably get me to leave that behind. People are aware phones can be traced,” countered Astra. She had watched enough TV to know that people were probably aware of that capability.

“Okay, Vasquez let me borrow some tech to test. It’s all in beta, but I guess it’ll do,” said Alex, getting up to get a pen with a tracker inside it. “So click it to turn it on, click it again to turn it off. So if they scan you at any point you can turn it off so it won’t be detected.” 

“Okay. I love you,” said Astra, taking the pen and briefly kissing her girlfriend.

“I love you too,” said Alex after reluctantly pulling away and watching her girlfriend fly towards danger.

* * *

After an hour of staring at a screen that said ‘Tracker Not Active’ it finally changed to a map with a pin. “Okay, let’s go,” said Alex eagerly.

“Wait, wait. Look at that. That warehouse is private property. We need a warrant to go in, unless they let us in, or unless we see or hear something that indicates imminent danger,” said Maggie.

“Maggie, she is in danger ...” started Alex.

“Alex, I know, okay? But if this isn’t legal, we can’t charge anyone. And that means we don’t save anyone. So we need a plan to get in,” said Maggie. She knew why Alex was being emotional about this, which is why more than ever she had to be the voice of reason. 

“You said that the people who watched the fight were all rich, right?” asked Alex.

“Yeah,” said Maggie slowly.

“Okay, I have a plan,” said Alex, getting out her phone. After dealing with a very annoyed Cat for a few minutes, and waiting twenty minutes for Cat to make some phone calls, they got hold of an invitation (although they did have to print it themselves since Cat could only e-mail one through). Alex and Maggie very quickly tried to find the most expensive things in the closet to pass themselves as looking like they belonged at an event like this, then they sped off in Alex’s motorbike.

Getting in was surprisingly easy. Nobody blinked at them or their invitations; they went right through. They didn’t have to wait more than five minutes before some woman in a red dress announced that a Kryptonian would be fighting and watched as Astra was paraded in front of people. That was all Maggie needed. “Now,” she whispered into her comm unit. Obviously she had brought an entire team of police officers who were waiting outside, although Alex had insisted an entire DEO team had to come as well, so she also gave the signal into her comm unit.

Astra didn’t even get to see her opponent before swarms of officers entered the building and told everyone to freeze. The woman in the red dress fled in the commotion but neither Alex or Maggie paid much attention because Astra was safe. They both ran to her, although Maggie stopped a little shorter of her while Alex ran into her arms and kissed her. “Yeah, okay, so I should go. Glad you’re okay,” said Maggie, although she wasn’t sure if either of them heard her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I know this took forever but I really wasn't sure how to end this. Thanks to everyone who read, commented, and gave me kudos.

“Hey baby,” said Alex. She had only just opened her eyes and all she was thinking was, ‘it’s Saturday I can sleep in’, but Astra was rubbing her arm softly and the only thing she was actually willing to wake up this early for on a Saturday was her amazing girlfriend.

“I didn’t mean to wake you. I just wanted you closer,” explained Astra quietly as she pulled Alex a little further into her.

“I never used to like this, you know? Being close to people. I tried so hard to convince myself that I liked men, but I never had a real desire to be anywhere near them. I just made myself, because everyone told me it was what I wanted. But I never understood what people meant when they talked about wanting to be held or kissed or … any of that. I never understood why people would give up opportunities or friendship … or anything really ... for romance. I never understood why I had friends who would go on and on about some boy for hours as if he was so amazing, and spend hours thinking about what greeting they’d say to him. But you … you make me understand all of it,” said Alex softly, resting her head under her girlfriend’s.

“Yes, I am well aware that you never acknowledged your attraction to women before me,” said Astra lightly. She still didn’t really understand how Alex was surprised by basic signs of attraction, but she supposed after thirty years of denial, it was bound to be a little confusing.

“I know it must be annoying how I’m still coming to terms with everything,” started Alex. She knew Astra had always known how she felt about women, while Alex had just figured things out. Alex was sure it must be annoying to hear about.

“No. No it isn’t,” interrupted Astra. She hated how Alex always felt like she wasn’t good enough. She imagined it was mostly due to her mother giving her that impression from birth, and the fact that the entirety of her planet had made her feel like she couldn’t admit how she honestly felt without fear.

“Baby, it’s okay. I know you love me. I know you don’t want to rush me. But it’s okay to admit that you’d like it better if I had everything figured out already,” said Alex. She knew Astra was really good about waiting and giving her time, but she wasn’t an idiot. She knew that deep down her girlfriend would rather not wait and not have to hear about things that she figured out decades ago.

“Hmm … I don’t know. You’d be a different person then. You’d also probably be with someone else,” said Astra. She wasn’t sure why Alex was so convinced that she didn’t really want her – that she wanted some alternate version of her who came out at age 6 and was unaffected by a whole world of people telling her that she was wrong in a variety of ways. From everything she knew about Earth, she was actually glad she had waited until things had gotten better to admit her sexuality to herself. She was also happy that she hadn’t found anyone else, and she was positive if Alex had’ve been looking for a girlfriend earlier, she would’ve found one; she was amazing, and Astra knew she was lucky to have her. 

“I don’t think so,” said Alex. She couldn’t imagine being without Astra, or being in a world with Astra and not being in love with her. She was certain that regardless of life choices, she would pick her. In any circumstance, in any life path, Astra made her so unbelievably happy, and she wouldn’t give it up for the world.

“That’s the hormones talking. I know these chemicals in your brain are new to you, but you’ve got to see them for what they are. We’re not destined to be; nobody is. Love isn’t some indescribable magical experience; it’s a few chemicals in your brain that give you a very nice feeling, and there are a lot of people in the world who could make you feel that way. Of course, different people will treat you differently, and just because someone makes your brain happy, doesn’t mean they’re good for you, but it’s naive to think you couldn’t just as easily be with someone else,” said Astra. She never wanted Alex to feel like she had to be with her to feel the love chemicals in her brain. She loved her, but she didn’t want to manipulate her into staying with her.

“I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree,” said Alex lightly. She didn’t think it was the hormones at all; Astra was amazing to her. She was loving, strong, and supportive. She wasn’t just high on the chemicals in her brain; she loved Astra and she loved being with Astra.

“No, this is important. I need you to understand that you’re capable of being with other people. You don’t have to stay with me to feel these chemicals; I guarantee you there are other people who would make you happy too,” said Astra. She sometimes wondered if Alex understood that there were a whole lot of people that were capable of being good and loving and that Alex would be attracted to. Alex sighed as she wondered if Astra would ever just accept that she loved her and that she was never going to want anyone else.

“Okay, fine. Fine. I get that. You’re so worried about making sure you never take advantage of me, and that I never feel pressured to stay with you, that I think sometimes you forget that I’m very happy with you. You take care of me, more than anyone else in my life ever has. I love you. Sometimes … sometimes I imagine what it would’ve been like to be on Krypton … if you would’ve been arranged to marry me instead of Non … if I could’ve spent my life never suppressing my sexuality, and have you in my life so much earlier,” said Alex. She dreamed about it, actually. More than once. It was one of her favourite dreams; waking up next to her wife, going out in public without a single doubt that everyone would be okay with them holding hands, and never having to worry about all the things she had to worry about here.

“You would’ve died on Krypton,” pointed out Astra.

“Yeah, but I would’ve been free. And I would’ve had you,” said Alex quietly. She thought it would be worth it, really. She knew Astra was probably going to tell her not to say such things, but deep down she thought it would be worth living a few less decades.

“You have me now. And we could all create some ideal world where we would’ve been happier, but the reality is if we’d have had it, we wouldn’t have really appreciated it, and besides, it’s not like we can change anything. Why don’t you appreciate what you have now, instead of wishing for a better past?” asked Astra. She knew from experience you really don’t appreciate what you’ve always had, and she wanted Alex to appreciate what she had now, instead of wishing for what she thought was better.

“Don’t you get sick of being so practical?” asked Alex with a teasing smile.

“No. Don’t you get sick of not understanding the reality you live in?” asked Astra. She loved Alex, but sometimes she wondered how she got through life.

“No, that would take the fun out of it,” said Alex. Astra sighed as she closed her eyes and decided to go back to sleep. Alex quickly followed.

* * *

“Baby, I promise you, I’m not going to destroy your computer,” said Alura. She was vaguely annoyed that she had to say that at all, but clearly her girlfriend needed some reassurance.

“Intentionally? Of course not. Accidentally ...” started Lucy. She absolutely trusted her girlfriend’s intentions, but she was less sure of the actual outcome.

“I know what I’m doing,” said Alura. She was trying not to be offended, but it was getting harder by the minute.

“You’ve been around human technology for less than a year, and you’ve barely finished your first semester in engineering,” countered Lucy incredulously.

“Yeah, well, I picked it up. And honestly, you really don’t need a day of engineering to download a program, install it, and click ‘next’ repeatedly,” said Alura. Honestly, people seemed to oversell how hard technology was. Sure, some of it was rather complicated, but installation wasn’t one of them – unless the software was somehow very poorly made.

“Ugh … fine, just do it,” said Lucy, defeated. Alura grinned as she clicked on the ‘Write to disk’ button. 

“Remind me why I agreed to this again,” said Lucy as she nervously watched the screen tell her all the things it was writing to her laptop hard drive.

“Because Windows updates are stupid and painful and I told you that on Linux you don’t have to restart your computer at all, you can just run the updates in the background, and you can even just set it to automatically update every day and you never have to deal with it at all, and you said ‘cool, sign me up’” said Alura. She wasn’t sure how Lucy could’ve forgotten.

“Yeah, I know. I just … don’t want to break it,” said Lucy. She was starting to think this was all a very bad idea.

“You’re not going to break anything. Besides, it’s set to dual boot. You’ll still have Windows there, which you can get to any time you like. You’ll just automatically boot into Linux, which is free to use and change how you like, won’t try to force you into installing it’s stupid updates – although you can set it up to tell you about updates or automatically run them in the background – and won’t stop you from removing it’s awful pre-installed software,” said Alura. She had run Lucy through this about a hundred times, but she still seemed to forget.

“Yeah, but I had to remove some of the space from my Windows … bit … to make room for this,” said Lucy. She wasn’t really sure how this all worked, but she was sure it could go wrong somehow, despite her girlfriend’s assurances.

“Mm, and you can put it back if you want, and Windows doesn’t let you remove space if there’s anything there, so – and I don’t know how many times I can say this – you’re not going to lose data,” said Alura. 

“Yeah I … oh God, it’s done,” said Lucy. This was it. No going back now. 

“Finally. Okay, now we restart,” said Alura happily, shutting off the computer, removing the USB with the Linux install on it, and watching the screen load to the admittedly very plain screen of new boot options. “You can just wait and it’ll automatically pick the first one after like 10 seconds, or you can hit enter,” said Alura as she hit enter. 

“Oh God,” said Lucy, suddenly even more nervous everything was going to break. But after a few seconds all she got was a login screen that seemed to work fine. Alura typed in her password, because she’d set it up so she knew what it was (even though she’d told Lucy that wasn’t really secure), and then a few seconds later she got a nice home screen.

“See? It’s all fine,” said Alura.

“You don’t know if my files have been overwritten or not,” said Lucy. She was somewhat relieved that she could access something, but she wasn’t ready to believe it was all fine just yet.

“Fine, let’s check then,” said Alura, opening up the file menu and navigating to the Windows partition, then to Lucy’s profile.

“Wait I haven’t entered my Windows password. How can you see my files?” asked Lucy.

“Windows isn’t very secure,” said Alura dismissively, easily opening up one of Lucy’s files that she’d seen her working on last night. “See, there,” said Alura.

“People can read my files without a password?” asked Lucy incredulously. 

“Well, only if they have access to your computer. And a Linux USB. And only if you’re running something like standard Windows which doesn’t have any encryption on your files, so anyone with access to your hard drive can just read it,” said Alura. She had been surprised to learn just how easy it was to get into most modern computers on this planet, and by the look on her girlfriend’s face, so were most humans.

“But not on Linux?” asked Lucy.

“I checked to encrypt your home drive. That means nobody can read it without cracking the password. And unlike Windows and their ridiculous knack to charge you for the most basic of tools, Linux does it all for free. It also comes with various Office tools, without paying a single cent, unlike Microsoft Office. Also, it’s a lot less susceptible to viruses and ransomware, although nothing is completely immune from that. And, maybe more importantly to you,” started Alura as she felt she was losing Lucy a bit, “you can customise how everything looks. See, we just click here and here and here … and then we can move that bar to the side, or remove it completely. We can download theme packs to make stuff look however you like … how about that one?” asked Alura.

“It looks like Mac OS,” said Lucy with some surprise.

“Yeah, that’s what they’ve specifically designed it to look like,” said Alura.

“Well, I didn’t buy a Mac because I didn’t want one. Oh, that one. I like that one,” said Lucy, as another design caught her eye. 

“That … okay fine, it’s your computer,” said Alura as she hit download. “Then you just put it here, and then you select it here and then ...” she paused as she hit enter and everything changed.

“YES!” said Lucy excitedly. Maybe this wasn’t a mistake after all. Her files were there, she could still boot into her computer, and this actually looked way cooler.

“Well, just remember you can change it any time you want if you get sick of all the yellow. Anyway, so obviously we can just download Google Chrome, install that, we’ll install Dropbox too, also VLC … anything else you use?” asked Alura.

“Um, I don’t know. Nothing comes to mind,” said Lucy. She hadn’t really thought about what software she needed. Now that she thought about it, she didn’t really use much.

“Well, if you find you want something, just Google it plus Linux. You’ll find how to get it, or something that’s about the same. It doesn’t do gaming that well, or creative things like music or video editing, or art stuff, to a professional level anyway, but everything else will run about the same or better. And anyway, you can just use Windows if you need it. You good now?” asked Alura.

“Wait, you can’t leave! I need my tech expert,” said Lucy. This was cool and everything, but she was only going along with this because she had Alura, and Alura knew how to do things without everything breaking.

“Baby, it’s Linux Mint. It’s designed for people who don’t know anything about tech. That’s not to say there’s not going to be a learning curve, but you don’t need to know anything about computers. You just need Google. And if you get stuck, call me,” said Alura reassuringly.

“Oh … okay,” said Lucy hesitantly.

* * *

“So this is … bad,” said Kara, looking at pictures of white supremacists marching in the streets, and the president condemning both sides.

“We always knew this would happen,” said Cat softly. In all honesty, she always knew this was going to happen and Kara always seemed to believe that things weren’t going to be so bad, but she liked to think that deep down Kara saw it coming to a degree.

“Yeah but … it’s still weird to see. Part of me thought … people would be better, or something. And I know it’s stupid to think that this time hatred wouldn’t get that bad when it always has, but … I just …” said Kara, somewhat lost for words. 

“I know baby. I know. Emotions are hard. Listening to people hate you is hard. Watching people stand by it is hard. Realising that people aren’t as good as you thought they were is hard. Realising that the people you’re attached to aren’t really so attached to your basic right to feel safe is hard. But you’re safe, and I love you, and that’s just going to have to be enough,” said Cat. Kara was already crying in her wife’s arms, and Cat just had to hold her, wishing there was something she could do, but knowing there wasn’t.

* * *

“So, what’s happening in the world?” asked Alex. She was finally sick of lying in bed, and usually in the morning Astra would read her the news – and give her own commentary, of course.

“Nothing important,” answered Astra dismissively. Alex was about to say something when Astra jumped out of bed and started putting on her gym clothes. “I’m going to go for a run. You want to come?” Alex liked to do a lot of physical exercise, running included, so she figured she’d want to join her.

“Um … sure,” said Alex, knowing she had to be in peak physical condition for her job, although sometimes she would rather just spend some quality time with her girlfriend.

* * *

“How bad do you think this is going to get?” asked Kara after a while. She was sick of crying, and apparently so were her tears, because they’d finally stopped.

“I don’t know,” said Cat softly. 

“Since when are you scared to give an opinion?” asked Kara lightly. Cat sighed. Clearly she wasn’t going to get away with softening the truth. If her wife wanted honestly, then she could have it. Cat never wanted to deny her anything.

“Okay, bad. I think it’s going to be bad. I think people seem to be taking comfort in the fact that Trump isn’t saying he agrees with the white supremacists, but people don’t seem to realise that that isn’t how this goes. Hitler didn’t get up on a platform and say ‘I will murder 6 million Jews’. He made a lot of statements associating that religion with various things which weren’t true and made them seem like a threat, and then people voted for him anyway. He said white people were better and that they were going to protect everyone else … which is pretty transparent, but not exactly what these people are chanting, and also not quite as radical back in 1940. He said he was making labour camps, not death camps, and he did make labour camps too, but it’s not like making prisoners work is revolutionary even by today’s standards. My point is what people say and what people do is not the same. He’s not saying certain things, but that doesn’t mean he won’t do it,” said Cat honestly, because apparently that was what her wife wanted. 

“Do you really think he’d make death camps? It’s so hard to imagine,” said Kara.

“Yeah, that’s what the Germans said when they got told about what Hitler was doing. Look, I don’t know about death camps, although in a world where the word terrorism will let you take away every single right a citizen’s ever had without a trial, it’s easy to see how he could make it happen. All I know is he wants to target Muslims and Latinos. They’re his first two main targets. He also wants to target trans people, although they seem to be somewhat less of a focus, and I imagine the whole queer spectrum will end up being targeted sooner or later. How far will he take it? I think deportation is inevitable – whether people are citizens of the US or not. The police already have a habit of targeting those groups, and the situation certainly isn’t going to improve. His absurd tax cuts will bankrupt the government if it gets through, and that will end up hurting the people who need the government to get by, although I’m confident he wouldn’t give very much to those people even if they had a massive surplus. His attempt to get rid of affordable healthcare for poorer people to save richer people a bit of a rise in premiums is more likely to affect certain groups more than others. I don’t know how many people all of that is going to kill, but even if he just does that, that would be bad for a lot of people,” said Cat.

“Do you think there’s anything people can do?” asked Kara hopefully.

“God no. The German resistance didn’t work, and the German government didn’t even have half the surveillance that the US has, or half the fire power. This is the reality now. At the end of the day, a majority of people are going to go along with this. Some will be happier with it than others, but they’ll go along with it. Besides, it’s not like it won’t be easy for him to win again. We know so long as just white people win, he’ll win in a landslide. All he has to do is deport everyone else, or make them too scared to vote by making sure the police are out in force, and he’ll legitimately win. Or of course he could just decide the election was rigged and ignore it. I don’t know, but I’ll bet you anything he’ll still be in power in four years time. And if one day, somehow, we get out of this, and we get him out of power and the next person in power is nothing like him, people will say the same things they do now. ‘People were confused back then’, ‘it was a different time’, ‘it’s better now’, ‘that will never happen again’, ‘we don’t need to teach that history’, ‘freedom of speech is important no matter how much you disagree with it’, ‘everybody should just talk things out’, ‘all violence is wrong’, ‘we should move on; it’s not relevant now’, ‘teaching people about this would increase racial tension’, ‘it was just about the economy’.”

“And then what? Fifty years from now it’ll all happen again?” asked Kara. She didn’t want this kind of hatred to just keep coming up again and again; she wanted to find a way to kill it.

“Yes, darling. That’s how this works. That’s how it’s always worked. The youth will be so convinced they’re different from the generations that came before. The older generation will be so convinced they’re different from the older generations from them when they do exactly the same hateful things to slightly different groups of people. But history repeats; it always has, and it always will. It is simply arrogant to think otherwise. People will make movies about how brave the winning side was, but they will never take a real stand about an issue still up for debate. They will say ‘obviously people against interracial marriage were awful, but same-gender marriage is different’, except it’s not different, and it never has been. If they lived fifty years ago they’d be defending people’s right to oppose interracial marriage, and if they lived fifty years in the future they’d find it unbelievable that anybody ever made the argument they made. People accept the world they live in. They adapt to the circumstances they’re in. They will adapt to tolerance, and they will adapt to hatred. That is the unfortunate reality,” said Cat.

“There has to be a way to stop it,” said Kara disbelievingly.

“What are you going to do? Kill the Nazis?” asked Cat. She knew deep down, Kara didn’t want to be a vigilante criminal who fought humans. 

“Maybe I should,” said Kara darkly.

“Maybe, but how many do you think you could take out before somebody stopped you? The entire government will protect them. They have the right to exist under the law. So unless you have a plan and a willingness to take down the entire police force, armed forces, and legal system, that’s not going to work. You are the strongest person I’ve ever met, but you can’t win that fight. It’s just not possible. So the reality is there’s nothing you can do. People don’t want to condemn hatred that isn’t directed at them, because it feels safer for them just to get along with those people. Or they just believe it themselves. All in all, you’re never going to have the numbers. And if you don’t have enough people, you just can’t win, and if you’re not going to win, there’s not much point in fighting. Unless you think you should make me watch you die so you can know you tried,” said Cat.

“You’re worried I’m going to do that, aren’t you?” asked Kara, knowing there was something honest in that statement. She also knew her wife didn’t like the idea of her getting hurt, and tended to think she should put herself in less danger.

“You’re a hero, Kara. You like helping people. Often more than you like taking care of yourself. I know you love me, I know you love Carter, but at the end of the day I don’t think you believe heroism is coming home to somebody and making them dinner after a hard day, I think you believe it’s dying for a noble cause. And I want to be wrong, I so desperately want to be wrong, but I have a bad habit of being right about people.” She had heard Kara say things – not very often, but she’d listened – about being okay with dying to make the world a better place. 

“I have to do what I can to save people. I will put my life on the line for others. But I won’t put my life on the line for no real hope of helping anybody,” said Kara, trying to reassure her wife. She wasn’t racing towards death; she was just willing to face danger to save people.

“But you always have hope of helping somebody. That’s the problem.” Kara had a bad habit of not knowing when to quit. Her lack of practicality was one of her biggest weaknesses. She didn’t have a lot of strategy, she relied on brute force too much, and she always thought she could win.

“Look, I can’t promise to be safe. That’s not who I am. I’m a hero who ran away from a fight she couldn’t win because the love of her life asked her to. And yes, sometimes I think about making stupid decisions to make myself feel better, but I know that good feeling would be very temporary, so I don’t do it. You’re right baby, people adapt. And I will adapt to being here. I will adapt to watching the place I used to call home be reduced to … this. But I will always hate it. I will always be hurt by it. And I can adapt to it, I can get used to it, but I can’t stop how awful it makes me feel. But don’t ever believe that I’m going to leave you to fight an unwinnable war, okay?” asked Kara.

“Okay,” said Cat, although she wasn’t sure if she really believed it or not.

* * *

“Are you really still on that thing?” asked Alura as she watched Lucy still on the couch with her laptop.

“I have to find what font I want. There’s so many to choose from,” said Lucy.

“What’s wrong with the default one?” asked Alura.

“But I can pick whatever I want! I don’t want the default. I want something I like. Oh, what about that one?” asked Lucy. She turned her laptop to show her girlfriend the screen.

“If you like it, pick it,” said Alura. Lucy frowned and turned her computer back to her to keep scrolling for a few seconds, then turned it again to show Alura.

“Oh, but what about that one?” asked Lucy.

“Did you see the news? With the marching and the Nazi flags?” asked Alura. She didn’t know how else to ask. It was hard to segue to Nazis from fonts.

“Yeah,” said Lucy nonchalantly, turning her computer back and scrolling again.

“You okay?” asked Alura gently. She didn’t buy her girlfriend’s lack of reaction for a second, but she didn’t have to talk about it if she didn’t want to.

“No. But I wasn’t okay before, so it doesn’t really matter.”

“If you want to talk ...” started Alura.

“There’s nothing to say. We all knew what this was going to be. Well, maybe that’s not true. Maybe white people are shocked that racism exists – up until they realise their friends and their family and their colleagues are on board, in which case they suddenly start defending ‘freedom of speech’. But I knew. You knew too. Racism is never just words. It’s building a narrative that will end up justifying … this. People don’t blame a race for crime and then just stop talking. They create a problem so they can ‘fix’ the problem, and you and me … they’ve decided people like us are the problem.”

“Republicans are condemning them,” said Alura, trying to be hopeful.

“So what? They’ll stand behind their president. They all will. And if they don’t, Trump will make them regret it. I mean the man fired the director of the FBI for investigating him. You can’t get a clearer message of ‘I won’t tolerate anything but complete blind loyalty from anyone’ than that. And they might be willing to stand up to some people with swastikas, but at the end of the day they’re going to give them a lot of the policies they want, and that’s what matters.”

“You used to like those policies too,” said Alura gently. She didn’t want to be mean, she just wanted Lucy to believe that maybe they weren’t all bad.

“Some of them, sure. Not all of them. But yeah, I thought they’d be good for business and good for jobs and put money into defence, and I liked all those things. Maybe I was blinded by my own career and family to think that more police was a good thing. But I never thought ‘let’s spend millions of dollars on a wall to keep a few foreigners out’ or ‘let’s harass undocumented immigrants who haven’t done anything wrong’.”

“Well, here’s the thing. People don’t like revolutions. Governments stay in power so long because at the end of the day people are either unaffected enough by a system not to care too much or they are affected but too aware of the fact that they can’t compete with a fully armed military. Trump has made it clear he won’t tolerate much disloyalty. What do you really expect them to do? Overthrow their President? Coups are a bit of a risk. People don’t tend to react very well when you try to overthrow them. So people just go along with it. And sometimes they make small comments, but they’re not going to do anything radical. That’s just how these things go. But some pushback is always better than none.” She knew what it was like to be in power. She knew how to keep that power as well. And while she had dealt with a few radicals – including her own sister – she had never really had a problem maintaining power. She knew how reluctant people were to take on the government.

“Why? It doesn’t do anything except make them feel better. And I don’t want them to feel better.” She wasn’t interested in congratulating someone on a meaningless comment that didn’t help anyone.

“People spend decades making progress that can be undone in mere days. Peace is a very tenuous thing. All you need is a reason to make some group of people ‘the enemy’ and everyone else tends to jump on board because they see the opportunity to take things from that group and hence be better off. Even when you give people facts about how it’s not in their interest, they tend to like the idea that they’ll be better off if they just take things from another group so much that they believe that. So I guess what I’m saying is they’re always going to feel better. People tend to believe they’re the hero, regardless of how much they hurt people; they’re always convinced it’s justified. Killing the enemy isn’t murder, it’s heroism. If I were you, I’d be glad that they’re feeling good about standing up to white supremacists instead of getting rid of immigrants.”

“That’s the lowest bar I’ve ever heard in my life, and I refuse to appreciate the most basic non-awful things when people are more than capable of doing better.” 

“That’s true. But I imagine it’s only going to get worse from here, and in six months, we’ll probably miss this.”

“Maybe. But I’m not going to lower my standards for people just because they keep making more hateful decisions. What I am going to do is pick this really nice font, and then go to bed with my amazing girlfriend. And nobody, not even Donald Trump, is going to take either of those two things away from me.”

* * *

“Oh my God! There’s Nazis in … you knew,” said Alex suddenly. They were home from their run, and the four hours of shopping Astra had then insisted on - ‘we really could use some new sheets’, ‘we really could use some new shoes’, ‘we really could use some new Tupperware’. She really should’ve seen it earlier.

“I may have seen it, yes,” admitted Astra quietly. 

“And you thought you’d distract me? Did you really think I could miss out on knowing this?” asked Alex incredulously. 

“No. I thought I could give you a whole half a day of a nice weekend. And since it’s now four in the afternoon, I exceeded my own expectations,” said Astra with a small smile. She knew this would be hard for Alex, but she was also a little proud of herself.

“That’s … kind of sweet,” said Alex. She let herself slide closer to her girlfriend on the couch so Astra could put her arm around her.

“I will always want to protect you. But I’m also fairly realistic, so I knew it couldn’t last forever,” said Astra, squeezing her shoulder for a second. She wanted to wrap her up in her arms and protect her from everything, but she knew that was absurd. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t protect her from everything she could.

“Aren’t you scared?” asked Alex.

“Terrified. But what do you want me to do about it? Hide under the bed for the next decade? That’s not me. I’m going to live my life until I can’t. I want to go shopping and debate what sheet pattern to buy with you,” said Astra. She wasn’t interested in being any more miserable than she had to be.

“I still think the white flowers were nice!” said Alex. She should’ve figured her girlfriend had a preference for darker colours given her clothing choice, but she didn’t think she’d outright reject sheets with a few white patterns on it.

“Well if you want to wash them every week all by yourself baby, you can have them,” said Astra. Alex rolled her eyes and said nothing. “But I don’t want to spend my life scared. And if this goes wrong, like it has gone wrong so many other times in history, then these are the times we have to enjoy. Because soon enough it could go away,” said Astra, gently playing with her girlfriend’s hair. She didn’t want to dwell on all the things that could go wrong later; she wanted to enjoy the time she had with her amazing girlfriend now.

“I love you,” said Alex, because she didn’t know what else to say to that that wasn’t sad.

“I love you too,” said Astra, because she knew one day she might not be able to tell Alex that any more.

* * *

“Is he trying to start a war with North Korea?” asked Kara at the TV in frustration as she watched the panel discuss Donald’s latest tweet.

“Oh, probably,” said Cat from the kitchen.

“WHY?” asked Kara, turning off the TV and moving towards her wife.

“Oh, lots of reasons. People tend to vote right-wing during wars. Their whole authoritarian pro-police tough on crime anti-immigrant rhetoric works a lot better when there really are spies and constant threats of attacks. It’ll poll very well. It’s a great distraction from less popular things like repealing healthcare. And it gives him an excuse to say he has to do things on the grounds of national security that he wanted to do anyway – like deport immigrants. Also he can get away with secret operations and say it’s all classified. And most importantly, he’s the Commander in Chief. No senate or court can stop him. He has total authority. It’s everything he’s ever wanted really,” said Cat. She’d seen it before. Wars were a great political tool, and the people who started them didn’t seem to care too much about the cost – either in money or people.

“They have nuclear weapons!” said Kara.

“Maybe. Nobody is really all that sure what kind of military power they have. Nobody said it was the world’s safest tactic. But it does seem to be a path to all the things he wants to do. Besides, he never mentioned North Korea on the campaign trail. He never cared. He said one thing about giving their new leader credit for taking over young. In fact, nobody cared about North Korea. They were nothing but a joke on SNL. If a year ago you would’ve said that you think war with North Korea was imminent people would’ve laughed hysterically. And now, suddenly, everyone is legitimately concerned about North Korea and seems to vaguely support the notion of going to war with them. And the only reason they are is because Donald has strategically positioned North Korea as a viable threat – sometime after a few of his ‘great ideas’ got blocked by judges and the senate,” said Cat. It reminded her a lot of the book 1984, when people were suddenly told they were going to war with a new nation they’d never cared about before and everyone cheered. It seemed so stupid at the time, but now she understood.

“Millions of people would die!” said Kara.

“And what about him has led you to the conclusion that he’d care? Look, he never cared before. He went on about ISIS. Either he decided that wasn’t enough, or it was too hard, or something, but he changed tactics. And for some reason, the entire West is behind him. He thinks he can win. A lot of people think he could win. Of course, a lot of people thought Hitler could win too, but that didn’t happen. And it wasn’t because Nazis were bad, it was because we killed a lot of people and destroyed their infrastructure. The reality is he’s built up a lot of rhetoric to position North Korea as an enemy that needs to be destroyed, and all he does is go on about military solutions. Maybe he is just bluffing, and I’d love that to be true, but the unfortunately more likely possibility is that he starts a war,” said Cat. He might just be bluffing, but she’d seen too many wars start to write off the possibility that he was serious. Just like people never thought he’d build a wall, or win an election, he had a habit of surprising people.

“Doesn’t that scare you? Wouldn’t you rather believe that it’s all going to be fine?” asked Kara. Sometimes she didn’t understand her wife. Didn’t she just want to believe that things were going to be okay?

“I think that the only way for things to be fine is to know what’s coming, prepare for it, and be ready when the storm comes,” said Cat. She’d learned a long time ago that you couldn’t just cross your fingers and think it was going to be okay. 

“And how would we be fine through a war? Even if you see it coming? What are you going to do against a nuclear warhead?” asked Kara incrdulously.

“Nobody lives forever, Kara,” said Cat.

“Wow, that’s uplifting,” said Kara.

“It’s just true, baby. You have to accept the things that you cannot change. There’s no point in fighting something if you can’t win; all you do is hurt yourself,” said Cat. She didn’t like false hope. All it did was hurt. She just wanted to not be disappointed.

“Well I think people are going to see sense. I think that people understand the risk of nuclear war, and they’re not going to risk it,” said Kara optimistically.

“Like you though people would see sense and vote for Hilary?” asked Cat. She had heard that line so many times over the years, and at this point she had stopped believing that people would do what was in their own interests. They did what they thought was in their best interests, which was often not the same thing.

“I have to believe this is going to be okay, baby. I couldn’t cope if I didn’t,” said Kara quietly.

“Okay, Kara. Okay. We can turn on E! and forget world politics. But if it all goes wrong, like it has so many times before throughout history, I want you to know that I’m so glad I met you, and I’m so glad I let you in, and I love you with all my heart, but it’s okay if you run far away to be safe from a government who hates you for where you’re born,” said Cat.

“I’ll never leave you,” said Kara quickly. She hated it when her wife talked like that. She wasn’t leaving the people she loved. She wasn’t losing another family.

“Don’t you dare say that! You promise me right now that you’ll save yourself if you can. That you are not seriously going to die because you don’t want to lose me,” said Cat seriously.

“Nobody lives forever, Cat. You have to accept the things you cannot change. And I cannot change who I am, or what I do or do not want to live through. I don’t want to spend my life running. I’d rather fight. And if I lose, then I lose. But I’d be miserable if I ran, always being afraid and feeling awful about myself, so I have to fight,” said Kara defensively. She loved her wife, but she wasn’t going to be another person for her. And she knew deep down Cat didn’t want her to be anyway.

“I hate that you’re a hero, have I ever told you that? I liked it at the start. I always knew who you were – I seriously cannot believe you don’t wear a mask – and at the start I thought you were brave, and strong, which is all true. But loving a hero is awful. You take risks I don’t want you to take and you get injured far too often. I have to worry if you’re even coming home alive every time you’re late. I am so scared of being vulnerable and having my heart shattered and I somehow still fell for a woman who is in constant danger. I love you, and I always will, but for the record, it’s Kara Grant and Kara Zor-El that I love. Supergirl just keeps putting my wife in danger,” said Cat.

“I don’t believe you,” chuckled Kara.

“Oh, really? And why not?” asked Cat, slightly taken aback at her wife’s laughter.

“Because you’ve known a lot of awful people. Your mother treated you like dirt and you put up with it because you were that desperate for validation and affection, you had awful husbands that you married out of fear of judgement and telling yourself you didn’t deserve to be treated with respect and equality, and you have known a ton of people who have betrayed you for money and power. You like that I’m a hero. You love that I’m a hero. You always have. It makes you feel safe. It’s what ultimately made you let your guard down around me. It’s what makes you trust me. You love all of me; you always have. You don’t love one of the consequences of being so heroic, but you do love the hero in me,” said Kara.

“Well, look at you. I suppose you’ve got me all figured out,” said Cat, unable to stop the hints of a smile from coming out. She was right, and Cat knew it. 

“I am your wife,” said Kara.

“Yes, well, I had a husband once who after a long trip away tossed me a pack of cigarettes from the airport he bought me and said he thought I’d like them. I’ve never smoked in my life. Suffice it to say I’m not used to people paying that much attention to me,” said Cat.

Kara smiled. She knew she’d spend the rest of her life paying attention to her wife, and at the end of the day, that made everything okay.

* * *

“Why does he do this? Can’t he just read a script?” asked Alex as she glanced at the news on her phone before going to bed. She didn’t know why she did it; it’s not like it was going to make her sleep any easier. But she still felt like she had to refresh it every night to make sure they weren’t already in the middle of a nuclear war.

“I imagine he likes his own thoughts better,” said Astra quietly. She knew he wanted to be radical, wanted to be dangerous, wanted to push boundaries. She hated watching Alex watch it all happen though. It somehow made everything worse. She wanted so badly to protect her, but in the end she knew how powerless she was to protect her from this.

“It’s like he’s trying to get himself killed,” said Alex.

“Oh, but that’s the funny thing about wars. The people who start them are almost never the people who die in them,” said Astra. She had been a soldier; she knew exactly what it was like to fight other people’s battles. 

“This whole thing is ridiculous,” said Alex. She still wondered how this could all happen. How this could be reality. It was so far away from what she’d known, from what she’d expected, and from what everyone thought was possible. And now suddenly everyone just had to accept that this was how it was now. She hated it.

“You know what’s ridiculous? How long it’s been since I’ve kissed you,” said Astra, taking Alex’s phone and putting it on the table beside their bed.

“Oh really? And what are we going to do about that?” asked Alex. Astra chuckled as she leant down to kiss her girlfriend slowly. And Alex let her,because in all honesty, she’d much rather think about her girlfriend than anything on her news app.

“I love you,” said Alex when the kiss broke. She didn’t know how bad this government was going to go for them, and especially for her girlfriend, but in the end she was so glad that she’d realised who she was and how attracted she was to Astra. It was the best thing that had every happened to her. Even if this all went wrong tomorrow, it was still so much better than lying to herself and forcing herself to be with people that made her uncomfortable.

“I love you too,” said Astra.

* * *

“Do you ever wonder what it must be like to see politics as some fun theoretical discussion? To be so unaffected by it that you didn’t have to check if people hated your existence or not? To be so sure that nobody was ever going to target you that you could just ignore it?” asked Lucy.

“You do realise I was born on Krypton, right? Back there, politics was something that I didn’t have to worry about,” said Alura. She still missed Krypton so much, for so many reasons. Everything was so much easier when she was in a position of power. 

“What was it like?” asked Lucy curiously.

“Liberating. Much less stress. Easy. Of course, I didn’t appreciate it at the time so it all meant nothing to me,” said Alura. She had begun to question a number of the things she’d done in power now that she knew what it was like to be on the other side of it. She understood Astra and what she’d done a lot better now. Of course, she didn’t have any intention to reach out and tell her that. What’s done was done; she couldn’t just say sorry for ruining decades of her life and expect to be forgiven.

“It must be hard to adjust,” said Lucy. Alura didn’t talk that much, but if Lucy prompted her she tended to say a bit more. 

“Yes, well, everyone adjusts when they don’t have a choice. And it’s not like I can go back to a planet where I’m the powerful majority again, so I just have to get used to it. Although, that’s not to say there aren’t things I definitely like here,” said Alura, looking lovingly at Lucy. Although she would always miss Krypton, the reality was that it was a dead planet with nothing left for her. This planet was where she could live, and her girlfriend certainly made things a lot better.

“Yeah, I love you too. Let’s go to bed before we get another news alert,” said Lucy. Alura smiled as she let Lucy pull her down to their bed as she enclosed her arms around her.

“No matter what happens, I’m glad I met you,” said Alura.

“Don’t talk like that,” said Lucy dismissively. She didn’t want her girlfriend to dwell on the negatives in life, and she had a feeling the only reason she’d say something like that was because she was doing just that.

“Why not? If you don’t say the things you want to say, you wake up one day to a planet being destroyed and realise you didn’t say anything that mattered because you were too scared at the time. I’m not doing that again. I’m also not going to ignore the warning signs this time. This probably isn’t going to go well, but I want you to know that I love you, and I’m so happy I met you,” said Alura. She liked to think that despite her faults she was capable of learning from her mistakes, and she deeply regretted not telling people how much they meant to her on Krypton. 

“I love you more baby. No matter how this all plays out, I’m so proud to be your girlfriend. You know that, right?” asked Lucy.

“Yeah I know. Go to sleep baby. We may as well be rested for whatever the future brings,” said Alura. She didn’t have a lot of optimism for the future of the country, but she knew she was going to wake up next to her amazing girlfriend tomorrow, and that was enough to make her smile.


End file.
